OK, round 1 went well. This is probably because there is so much disparity between some of the studios. However, I expect that this round will be far more controversial. I mean, how could it not be?

Part 2 - The Directors

I think that if you ask most experienced porn afficianados what the single most key element is in achieving good porn, they will probably agree that it is the director. I certainly feel this way. A director can easily make or break the movie in question. In 2003 there was far too much porn released to even make a dent in reviewing all of the active directors. Besides, it would be a waste of time, since so many of them are completely unremarkable.

So what makes for a superlative director? Ask different people and I'm sure you'll get different answers, but in my book, it comes down to 3 things:

1) A total and complete love of pornography. How could anyone hope to create a masterpiece of flesh if they really don't give a rat's ass about what it is that they are creating? Any director who speaks of "product" needs to be viewed with skepticism and scrutiny.

2) A total and complete love of women and their bodies. This seems so fucking obvious... if they are going to be filming women for guys to whack off to, they'd better really love the vixens that they are attempting to capture.

3) An understanding of technology, and how and when to apply it. Sorry guys... I certainly qualify on points 1 & 2, but point 3 is my stopper. I just don't have that experience that allows me to operate the equipment in a facile way. And yes, just like a huge penis, it really does matter!

OK, with my prerequisite qualities on the board, I can now get down to the task of paring the list to a suitable size. I will not attempt to create a complete compendium of porn directors, but rather I will focus on those directors who exhibited brilliance, flair, and insight in driving the porn world during 2003. Feel free to chime in on your favs, since I am absolutely certain that I have missed many more than I have pegged in this installment. Still, to try is better than to remain on the sidelines, so here goes...

Jules Jordan

When Jules hit the scene in 2002, he emerged like a fireball. His distinct brand of gonzo was fresh. His knack for making girls look their best was cool. His stylistic approach was unique and personal. However, one always has to be wary of fireballs. Consider an analogy in the music world... Alanis Morissette shows up on the scene as a fireball with the best album in years. Every chick in music alters her style to become an Alanis clone. Now where the fuck is she? One album and pffft...

So the question was, "could Jules Jordan survive 2003?"

And the answer is a resounding YES! Not only did he survive the year, for all intensive purposes he lead it the whole way. Just how many Jules wannabes have featured swing skirts and fishnets this year? Not a bad image to OD on, but none of them have the panache of the master. Jules Jordan, I salute you!

John Leslie

John is quiet. You never see him in the limelight at the shows. You never hear his name being bandied about by the newcomers. You never see the fans rushing for John. But John is the unequaled master of the tease. I truly believe this. All one needs to do is slip in a volume of Fresh Meat or Voyeur and watch the incredible sweeping undertones as the camera lavishly drinks in some depraved sex starlet, surrounding the viewer in an emotional wash of eroticism and quirkiness. John's DVD output in 2003 was impressive and he is, in my mind, probably the single most dependable director in all of porn.

Erik Everhard

Everyone knows Erik the actor, but in 2003 Erik matured as a director. I spotted his output in late 2002 and liked what I saw. But in 2003, he honed his craft. Borrowing heavily from the stylisms of Jules and John, Erik obviously loves good looking women. And he likes to showcase them, parade them around, drool for a while, before setting them to work. One thing the reader will notice about my list is a tendency toward directors who appreciate tease. Erik is right up there in this respect. Outnumbered was a highlight for 2003. A reverse gangbang that was almost more of a visual eye candy orgy.

Bryan Xin

Bryan is a young guy (I finally got the chance to meet him and I was amazed at how young), but Bryan shoots porn like a veteran. He posesses the three key attributes listed above. He loves porn, he loves beautiful girls, and he has a knack with a camera. Another tease master, he lovingly adorns his girls in finery and then let's them take their time for the camera... never rushing... like allowing time for a fine wine to age. Then he orchestrates a complete devastation of their asses. It's a combination that works for almost all of the directors I'm outlining in this article. They all do it well. And they all make it personal.

Jonni Darko

Where the fuck did this guy come from? I mean, I'd never heard of him and then wham-boom... it’s Anal Trainer time! Many of you have never seen this series. Do yourself a favor and buy one of the volumes. It doesn't matter which, they're all good. Then you'll understand. Jonni takes these girls (in many cases trite names you've seen countless times), makes them look great, teases the shit out of the viewer, and then... teases the shit out of the girl. Seriously, he uses toys on these girls in a fashion never before executed in porn on a regular basis. By the time he's done teasing these girls with his toys, they are sex maniacs who are ready to dry hump the nearest fencepost. And all the while, the video and audio are perfect. Nice job!

Skeeter Kerkove

I hear way too many stories about Skeeter, and I don't know how to tell which are true. But one thing I can tell you... every flic I've ever seen with the Skeeter brand on it has been scorching hot! Talk about love of pornography. This guy is the first one in line to check out a hot new babe. And then he puts his diabolical mind to work, dragging it along through the gutter, until he finds some new way to showcase her in complete and utter anal depravity. Skeeter is not for the faint of heart, but he is a Whackmeister's dream come true!

Frank Thring

Yeah... that Frank Thring... the same one who did the Private Fetish stuff. Lots of you guys malign him, but I'll be honest... I saw at least a half dozen amazing flix this year from Frank. He has always had a knack for finding the hottest new Eurogirls, and that didn't change in 2003. He's always had a knack for making them look great in wardrobe and makeup, and that too remained evident this year. And he's always been master of filming the blowjob. Check out BJ Fantasies 19 and you'll see what I mean. Oral flix are tough to shoot, but Frank makes them look enticing.

Sineplex

That's the way they brand all of their productions... directed by Sineplex. I had a chance to meet Jason D. at the show and to talk with him. But he prefers to simply be known as Sineplex. Kind of anonymous. Let the flix stand for themselves. OK, fine by me. Well Mr. Sineplex, you have managed to completely re-write the book on Lesbian movies. Rather than just having a couple of beautiful carpet munchers ooh and ahh for the camera (think JKP here), you've managed to turn them into diabolical, sodomizing, wanton, insatiable sluts. And then you've managed to capture it all in a fashion that conveys it perfectly. I've always liked lezbo fare, but now I love it!

Lexington Steele

Here's another one that's gonna draw controversy. Some people think Lex is a decent actor, but that he can't direct his way out of a paper bag. Sorry folks, I disagree. Just watch the Balls Deep series and rethink that argument. He manages to take the same chicks that everyone else is shooting, and then make them look like a fresh batch of hotties ripe for the plucking. And pluck them he does. Like Erik & Jules, Lex tends to star in the movies he directs. This is an advantage in that he knows what he wants from the actors and he gets it.

Patrick Hansome

Here's a name that some of you won't be familiar with. Patrick shoots the Euroflix High Octane and Precious Pink for Hustler. As I mentioned in the last article, these two are probably the best pure glamour porn on the market. The girls are gorgeous. The sets are lavish. The wardrobes are beautiful. The makeup is perfect. And the sex is scripted. Oh well, I still love watching these DVDs simply because it's like seeing Victoria's Secret girls get sodomized. If only he could breathe a little life into it.

Andrew Blake

Yep, I said Blake. I saved him for last. Yeah... I know he's basically softcore. Yeah... I know he shoots almost all girl-girl. But his flix are the single finest example of pure eroticism ever made. And I do mean ever. His 2003 fare was nowhere near as good as some of his classics from the past. But, even so, every flic he released this year is a classic and a keeper. And in football terms, there is no better recruiting coach than Blake. Christ... just look at Justine and Kelle Marie. Have you ever seen prettier girls in porn? Ever? No way! Absolutely perfect.

OK... another chance for you all to take shots at my picks. That's fine with me. Another installment soon...