Seeing how 50 Shades of Grey and all this BDSM stuff seems to becoming more popular there seem to be more girls interested in what some would call "Alternative Sex" and "Alternative Lifestyles." Rough sex, electro sexual stimulation, aggressive behavior condoned and welcomed. Most of us have seen the transgression of "adult films" becoming a bit edgier, a little more harder core and certainly more explicit than in the past. So I am totally curious on your thoughts and feelings as either a man or woman about this stuff, as a guy do you envision a latex clad woman controlling your sexual urges? As a woman do you envision a "Manly man" having his way with you as he see's fit? Please share!
I think both sexes are more open to explore new things today as a result of more open discussion of all things sexual. Personally, I don't envision anyone controlling my sexual urges, but I've experienced others being more interested in exploring them.
I think a little role play is a nice mix to your sex life. The 50 shades books have opened the eyes of some of the women I work around to the different sexual experiences they may like to try. My #2 girl want's me to spank her next time I see her plus a few other things she won't tell me till i'm there. Can't wait
I was waiting in line the other day behind a couple of women in their 70's, and one of them asked if the other had read the original Shades of Grey book. She replied that she had thumbed through it, but it was just the same old S&M stuff. The other woman nodded in agreement and said, something like, "Yuh-huh." Or maybe it was a yawn.
Speaking of which, did anyone else watch the documentary Meet the Fokkens? It was on last night. It's a little slow, as a lot of documentaries are, but it was kinda interesting. Twin hookers in their 70's, in Amsterdam, with a bit of a specialty in bondage and S&M sorts of things. It was just a wee bit of a hoot watching some guy get the treatment. I have to say, there are some camera angles from which a man doesn't look too appealing. I was kind of hoping it would actually be women who chose this profession for some good reason, but as it turned out, one of the twins had a husband who beat the crap out of her, forced her into it, left her, and said he'd only come back if they both went into the business, so it was just the age old sad story. They have made a lifelong plan of pleasing the guys with hands, mouth, S&M, etc., to avoid most of the fucking so they don't get too broken-down physically. They see the young girls getting broken-down fast. Actually, they also see the Dutch women squeezed out of the profession by foreign women, and we know these are just trafficked women and desperate women. More sad. They'd like to leave the business, but say it's not financially possible. They both paint, though, and they paint very well. I like their stuff. Near the end of the show they had a gallery opening, and I think I'll google and see if I can find out how their art careers are going. Anyhoo. Nothing new about S&M.
God yes. Though I also would like having a latex clad submissive. My wife and I aren't in a full on BDSM relationship, but we've been playing switch roles in the bedroom for years with some ropeplay/bondage at times. Sadly (for me) no latex involved yet. Though she has said she would like her own female submissive to play with somewhere down the line, seperate from me. Haven't pursued this idea yet though, i'm not at all against this idea though. ----Dread----
The problem I have with the 50 Shades bandwagon is that at the shop I saw too many people coming in to buy fetish gear (what little we carried) and not having a clue as to what to do with it. They have no idea about the safety issues or anything when it comes to paddling, cropping, caning, whipping, fire play, wax play, bondage ect. And there ARE safety issues. It also pisses me off that the books imply that Dom/mes are sick fucks who need to be fixed or pedophiles and that subs are broken women who all have tragic pasts.
^ I agree on both counts. Even something as simple as a pair of handcuffs or binding wrists with rope can cause severe damage to the human body if not used properly. God only knows what damage is possible with a whip or cane in untrained hands or the unknowing attempt at suspension bondage!
He plays more mind games with her than anything. He makes her wear a set of Benwa balls to a party, I think he ties her up and give her a pussy spanking with a crop (it's been a while since I read it). They do an orgasm denial scene,which is the only time she uses her safeword (eyeroll). It was just really stupid. I think Cherise Sinclair has better stories even though hers are a little on the cheesy side too. Ya know...the Doms are always wealthy or sucessful, the subs always have some tragic past,ect. But her BDSM scenes...damn.
I am trying so hard to not blast you Mharris, but really? So if all this stuff can cause permanent damage which I do not disagree with, why do film makers not make instructional videos for this type of sexual play? Not wearing a safety belt, Not wearing a helmet while riding a horse, Not texting and walking can all reduce "causing permanent damage." We should make laws against that kind of stuff, don't you agree? Just simply outlaw whips and canes for sexual gratification, I am sure there would be a lot of support for that!
^ Nina Hartley does. Also, I have never been to an educational even that has not described and warned about the risks of whatever activity they are lecturing on. Seriously, even at sensual spanking and sensual massage events risks are discussed. I'm not saying we need laws to prevent people from hurting themselves. I don't think mharris is either. What we seem to be agreeing about (for once) is that authors such as EL James are fucking idiots who have no idea what they are talking about and people are taking it as an instruction guide...which causes injury. People in the scene might understand the damage a whip or a cane can do to the kidneys if it's applied to the wrong areas. Your average soccer mom reading 50 Shades does not. And as far as warnings go, I've noticed authors of BDSM erotica that actually live it, always give a warning in their introductions. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 10/10/2012 2:20:54 AM
^ No, I am not looking to ban BDSM. I am into bondage and because of that I know most of the safety aspects of it. I don't do suspensions but have done just about every other type of rope bondage in my lifetime. I have also been bound many times over the course of my life. I just cringed at the fact that someone would read that book and attempt bondage without any instruction. For the record Nina Hartley and Tristan Taormino have both done bondage instruction videos. I think Midori also has a couple of instructional books out on the subject. Some basic informational videos are also available here for free if you have a DSL/Cable internet connection and Flash on your computer: http://twistedmonk.com/
Actually bondage isn't really a kink of mine. I like it a little bit. Ya know, being tied down and thoroughly fucked always warms my heart. But being the curious cat that I am, I can't help but try and learn as much as possible about everything I take an interest in. Luckily, I have some VERY good mentors who are always willing to help with that. I think I would like to try suspension play sometime just to see if I like it.
Cool mharris, I took your other post out of context, my bad. Safety issues are a big thing for me when it comes to this sort of stuff, and even though I consider myself somewhat experienced I always like to keep the safety factor a priority when it comes to any kind of play. So when it comes to fiction novels and movies it is more of a fantasy than a reality, but when people want to act on this stuff in reality while comparing it to a fantasy I think the tables can get turned too easily and I do agree that people can get unintentionally physically hurt when trying to do things they know nothing about.