also tell her its not her 'fault' and its nobodies fault. seeing cum isn't everything.
its just the way you're wired.

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thanks for the reply, thats what im saying. It doesnt bother me that i dont cum. I feel satisfied after the act either way, its just that she feels really bad, and it makes me feel bad. She said i was the first person that she hasnt been able to make orgasm. I dunno. *shrug* All those stories i heard about that first time lasting for all of 10 seconds never happeend, maybe i am just "wired" differently, who knows. I just hope there isnt anything wrong with me.

later
al

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you said you don't cum during the act - do you cum during other acts? (eg oral sex.) maybe try masturbating together, just so you're used to cumming near her.

there's nothing wrong with you. and i second evil on the keep telling her it's not her fault.

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"does anyone have any suggestions?"

Yes, get rid of this bum fuck immediately, it's TOTALLY her fault! Since she IS your first, you probably think she's the greatest thing since porn hit the VCR, but the thought of a strapping 18 year old male who cannot come during the sex act is....kind of a turn on, really. I think your girlfriend isn't quite experienced enough or up to the challenge, despite her so-sensitive statement about you being 'the only one' that she hasn't gotten off. Coming is everything, don't kid yourself.

Just joking. Perhaps you're just giving up too soon? Or, you could be masturbating too often, something we're all too familiar with around here, so don't feel weird or anything.

You also might try extended periods of foreplay, don't just jump in the sack right away. My boyfriend used to tease me terribly, just hours making out on the couch, touching and holding me until I wanted to rip his clothes off and...well, you get the idea. Often, I came before it even got that far.

Good luck, and keep us posted.
Blondie

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Maybe you are thinking too much about her, maybe you are thinking too much about her being disappointed if you don't cum, maybe the springs in the bed dig into your knees, maybe the cat is looking at you funny - maybe you're soooo swept up in how wonderful she is you aren't paying attention to your penis. None of those things are bad (except the bed springs and the damned cat!) but they sure make it hard to get off. Perhaps just kicking back and relaxing a little would do the trick. You're both underage, so I'm not going to PROMOTE (wink wink wink) a drink or two, but you never know.

Kimi

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steph,
i dont cum during other acts either, at least not yet. She is my first everything, first relationship, first serious g/f, first person i have been intimate with in anyway(oral, actual sex...etc etc...)

db,

thanks for the humor there...lol...i've been reading the boards here for a while, and i almost expect that kind of response from you. As for your other comment we dont always go right into sex...we do foreplay..we work up to it most of the time..unless we are short on time, then you know

kimi,

yeah sometimes i think i might think about that. Sometimes i think i might even focus too much. The sex is amazing, but i guess sometimes i think about getting off too much, that i cant really get off, make sense?? lol

as a post note to this i am writing this after she came over tonight . We spent about 2 1/2 hours or so alone, and one thing led to another as usual when we are by ourselves. I still didn't cum during the act, but i guess it almost seemed like i was getting closer, i dunno, but the sex was great as always. Also to touch on another point, i have "cum" around her before. Usually when i dont get off during the act, i pull out and wack for a few minutes and bam...there it is..i have come on her before on her stomach, breasts, butt...etc etc...she has even swallowed once before, so im not sure if "cumming" near her is a problem. Maybe im just so use to seeing stuff in porn and thinking thats what goes on in everyday real life, that thats why i think something is wrong with me. It could be masturbating too much too i guess....when i dont see her say for a day or 2...i masturbate i woiuld say 2-3 times a day.., im just a very horny guy i guess.

please feel free to reply
i like hearing what you guys and gals have to say on this
thanks again
al

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You're still young, and although masturbating 2-3 times a day is common for a guy your age, it can definitely affect orgasms during sex.

In Dr. Drew mode:
Try going a couple of days without having an orgasm, and see if that helps.

Also, since your gf wants to make you cum with her, it sounds like she would be open to talking about some different things.
Are there any positions that you feel get you closer? This worked for a guy I was with: after having sex for awhile, jack off to that point when you feel your whole body tighten up, then put it in her barely missing a stroke, and maybe once you feel what it's like to cum inside her, it will start to get easier. Doggy is the easiest position for this, BTW. (If you're having protected sex, this is a little more difficult, but definitely doable. Just get the lubricated ones and put lube on your hand so that you don't tear the latex.)

Don't put any pressure on yourself, though. Most likely there's nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with her, and nothing wrong with the two of you together. Just practice!

By the way, I agree with everything Kimi said except about the alcohol. Most guys I've been with find it harder to get a hard-on and to cum after a couple of drinks.

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yes actually she is very open. she is up to try just about anything as am I. We have tried different posistions, although we almost always end up in the same one at the end, her on top me on bottom. It always seems to end up that way...lol

When i know we are going to have sex in advance, i try to not masturbate at all that day in order to be able to try an orgasm during the sex, sometimes its just tough. Im horny all the time, its terrible i tell you...lol Then there is times when we get together and not knowing i would be seeing her later that day i would have already masturbated once or twice earlier in the day, therefore makin an orgasm again a unlikey thing. The whole thing is though no matter whether i masturbated once or 5 times before we have sex i have no problem getting it up or performing, i can go an hour or 2 sometimes no problem.

as far as protected and unprotected sex goes, we normally use condoms, there have been times we haven't. Now of course it feels alot better without the condom on, but i dont want to take that risk. We have both been tested recently and are clean, we did that for both of our benefits, but i guess the reason why we use condoms alot of the time is not only for protection against std's and the like, but i dont want to say accidently have that orgasm that one time, and next thing you know she's pregnant. that would be not what i need right now, im still a young guy, who goes to computer school for computer programming, who has goals i want to achieve, and while i want a family, i dont want one in the immediate future.

another side note i forgot to mention yesterday. We tried anal sex once, and it didnt go to well i think. I think she thought that she would be able to take me without much resisitance. She had said before that she had done it one other time, but the other guy was a tad smaller than me. Now dont get me wrong im not huge, but im pretty thick. And when we tried this, it seemed almost like when she got it somewhat in, that it startled her and she pulled out, like it suprised her that it didnt go in smoothly...i dunno. That was a whole new experience for me, i never thought she would be up for it, but when we talked about stuff, she said she would be up for trying it, anyone have any ideas or suggestions on that. I mean i dont want to hurt her, thats what worries me, and when having anal sex should you use a condom, i know there is bacteria and stuff up there..etc etc..

hope i dont sound like too much of a sex novice...lol..but everyone here has been such a big help so far figured i would ask some more questions.

and who would have thought i would be recieving advice from pornstars

thanks to everyone again
look forward to anymore replied you guys and gals might have
later
alan

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I agree with Tricia's advice. You prorbably have a hard time cumming during sex because you are used to getting yourself off. The exact reason for this? I'm not sure, but it may have a lot to do with you having complete control. You may want to make a no-masturbation rule for a short period of time, couple of weeks or so. I know that the idea of possibly not getting off at all for a couple weeks may be scary, but think of the rewards. Plus, I really think that at one point your mind and body will be so anxious for release that eventually it should happen during sex. After your first success you may want to continue holding off for awhile so that you grow accustomed to getting a release from your girlfriend.

Still Campaigning for Inari Vachs
Never before has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited --from The Kentucky Fried Movie
Endorphin's ADT Lair
FREE THE WEED

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I think you mentioned that you masturbate an average of 2-3 times a day. I assume that you have been doing so for a long time (since I have no other info to go on in this case).

As Endorphin mentioned, you probably got used to jerking off, and I think I can help with the reason. Although it may be mental (ie, control as Endorphin said) but another likely reason is that your penis can got used to a certain kind (or level) of stimulation (masturbation usually has more pressure, i.e. is a lot tighter, than the average vagina)

Along with what Endorphin suggested, if she's into it, try having her jerk you off. This may not work at first, try jerking yourself until your close and have her finish you off. Eventually, you can probably break your body's "training" and cum this way, and eventually from other means. (ie sex)

Hope this helped.

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May I also suggest trying some lube during sex? Personally, when my wife and I are having sex, sometimes she starts to dry up a bit towards the end as I'm reaching my peak. The change in feelings and friction are enough to cause the mission to abort. Drop some lube into the scene and all is good. May also want to incorporate it into masturbating to help get you used to different feelings and sensations to help break your training as others have mentioned.

Draken

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Kimi

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Regis

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J

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