The other day I was having anal sex with my girlfriend and when I pulled out there was a small bit of "mess". My girlfriend immediately got upset and started crying and says now she will never have anal sex again. She also thinks that now I will think she is gross & that I will view her differently or something. I really wasn't too worried about it.... I mean if you have anal sex, that might happen. I tried to tell her not to worry about it and calm her down but she is still very upset about the situation! What do I do?
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Planet Sex Deactivated User
1951 Posts 6/01
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 1:59AM
Shit happens, dude. It´s a side-effect of any anal.
A douche will help wonders, but out of every 10 assholes I poke, at least four makes my Willy Wonked.
So, there´s no need to despair. Soon you´ll both learn that getting shitfaced is pretty normal during anal sex.
Besides, sex was NEVER supposed to be squeaky clean anyway...
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superfly skywarrior Deactivated User
England 180 Posts 6/02
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 2:54AM
tell her to have a simple enema with warm water. and pick an appropriate time frame to have anal sex.....i.e. not the morning after a vindaloo curry
Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 9:45AM
Tell her that she's beautiful. Show her that you think she's beautiful. Touch her. Kiss her butt (yes, I mean literally.) Get her a thoughtful gift. Do not tell her to do an enema. Tell her how much you enjoyed the anal sex. Do not pressure her to do it anytime soon.
Tell here she's the best! And now you're more turned on than ever! Etc. and so forth. No one has ever turned you on like she does. The incident only made you hotter and hornier than ever! You get the drift.
It's a good time for anal if she has fairly recently had a big, easy bm and feels empty (lots of fiber in the diet helps everything). You can also use a spiral-type butt plug (like the Swizzle Stick) first. Run that in and if it comes out squeeky clean, you have a good shot at it.
Be patient and let her know that it isn't a problem at all for you, AND that if it's a problem for her, there are the various measures that everyone has mentioned.
It is very different being a womyn and talking about/having anal sex. For guys it's a taboo, new, daring experience and they get to say "hey, cool I had anal".
For a womyn, it's often painful(not that that's always bad), and embarrassing by the very nature of the privacy of your asshole, bowel movments and the like.
So you see, as a womyn (or gay partner) you are not only offering your partner a special treat, you are making yourself hugely vunerable emotionally as well as physically.
Just try to see it from a different perspecive for a moment.
PSex, just becasue Steph is a sensitive caring young womyn does not mean she has been reading too many girly magazines. It's just that not all of us are as jaded and cynical as you.
Beaver-In direct reference to your question. It sounds as though she wasn't really to sure what anal was all about and how to prepare for it. I would second everything Steph said, she needs to be reassured right now more than anything else. Perhaps at a later date you can look up info on anal sex together and be more prepared and aware of what it's really like. Then she'll know more what to expect, what's par for the course and if she wants, can explore the option of an enema.
Very well said, Luna! A somewhat similar situation happened to me a few years ago with a previous girlfriend. At the time, we were experimenting with new sexual activities and I suggested anal and she agreed to give it a shot. Well after a few times she got the hang of it and we used to do it all the time - that is, until one day she had a little accident. Needless to say, she was completely shocked and humiliated but I didn't really mind considering the circumstances and I tried to reassure her everything was fine. We ended up taking a long hot shower together right afterward, but naturally she still seemed a little bothered by what had happened. But over time, I kept telling her things like this are bound to happen when doing this kind activity and that I still cared for her no matter what. Eventually after a few months we tried it again with no problems and continued doing so until we parted ways some time later. But that experience gave me a whole new perspective on what women have to go thru in their sexual lives and of course that extends to my interest in pornography as well.
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Planet Sex Deactivated User
1951 Posts 6/01
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 4:51PM
But it also doesn´t mean she DOESN´T, so there´s a quid pro quo form of Catch 22 about your assessment of the question. Or, in cromulant terms: if Chewbacca lives in Endor, we must acquit!
Edited by - Planet Sex on 9/30/2002 4:52:19 PM
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Planet Sex Deactivated User
1951 Posts 6/01
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 4:54PM
Coprophilliac = shit lover. That also applies to Carrot Top fans.
I agree with everything that -Lunacy- and StephDunn said.
One other possible thing that you might try, is letting her also play around with your butt. If it is a two-way street, it might help break the ice and make her feel more comfortable with it. (I'm not trying to be funny here)
(If you do that, you might consider the enema also)
Patience is a virtue, but who wants to be virtuous? 4283 Posts 4/00
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 11:55PM
First of all, I LOVE Carrot Top! Met him in person, he is truly hilarious.
OK, now back on topic... Listen to everything Steph said.! However, I would add that you tell her that you are not grossed out because of the fact that you were sharing something very special with her at the time. Let her know that when she's ready, you'd love to have anal sex with her again, but that you feel no need to rush. Let her know that so she doesn't need to worry about the same thing happening, she may want to try a warm-water enema or a Fleet-type enema. Afterwards, she can take a shower to "feel around" and reassure herself that she's ready to "open back up" with you. I always try to take a shower before I have anal sex. That way I make sure I'm clean by using a finger on myself. If I don't feel anything inside me, then I don't need to be nervous about anal sex. The thing about Fleet enemas - the chemical that they work with causes a lube-consistency type buildup in the colon. So sometimes, there's a little bit of jelly sticky stuff left in the colon after the main part of the enema is expelled. That's the main reason I take a shower after the enema.
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Planet Sex Deactivated User
1951 Posts 6/01
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 11:58PM
EVERYBODY loves Carrot Top? Damn, I guess I´m bashing the wrong tree.
Wait. I AM! I was thinking about GILBERT GOTTFRIED!!!
I never understood why everybody enjoys anal sex? One of my favorite movies from VCA is Paradise Hole and it would of been the best porn movie I've seen if anal sex hadn't dominated every b/g scene.
Hazel Heart Interview
Posted - Sep 30 2002 : 12:56AM
