I enjoy it. It was my idea. First time was about 25 years ago. We don't do really deep, slamming, fast anal, and not particularly often. It doesn't really seem taboo.

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Anal sex amongst heterosexual couples remains very much a taboo and embarrassing subject to talk about.

I know from my own personal experiences, when I suggested to my ex-girlfriend we try anal, she was very much against it. Which really disappointed me, because she's wasn't frigid type and she really had a gorgeous ass.

Lindi I'm curious to know as a woman how is anal sex enjoyable for you? as opposed to being painful so many women fear it to be?

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When done properly anal sex should not be painful. The key to enjoyable anal sex is the ability to relax the spincter muscles. Preparation and lube are important.

If you want to overcome the taboo with a partner, try initiating a little anal play with fingers during oral sex. Incorporate fingers and toys into your masturbation sessions and get to know your own response. This will help when you are ready to try anal sex with a partner.

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When you know the preparations and sensations yourself, you are better able to give good anal with a partner. There is more empathy at that point, whereas most men just do not understand what all is involved when it comes to good anal sex.

As for your g/f, Doggystyle, it helps to work in anal play over time, such as moving from cunnilingus to analingus and see how she responds. Later, see how feels when simply massaging the anus with your finger while stimulating her clitoris. And then later, you might see how she repsonds with finger penetration, also while stimulating her clit. With time, patience and play, you both might discover the joys of anal sex! :)

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A little wet pinky finger, gradually inserted, while you are going down on her. This should have her hyperventilating and thinking that she is going to faint.

Not a big discussion about things.

It has to be all about her pleasure.

But nothing should be abrupt -- she has a right to have a moment of knowing what's about to happen, and has a right to say no.
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stupid typo!

Edited by - lindi on 6/9/2004 2:07:55 AM

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I'll definitely try the things you've suggested with my next partner.

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You have the same equipment necessary to enjoy anal as she does, and actually more. If you want to get to the male G-spot you can either go through the ass or have surgery. Let her work on you too as you'll be able to learn about speed, size, and the other things which matter in anal. For many women who enjoy anal, you'll also probably really turn her on. If you're not at all open to her doing something you can both experience to you, then why should she let you do it to her?

When man invented fire, he didn’t say, 'hey, let’s cook', he said, 'great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.' - Coupling

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Anal Adventures!

I love the old Kinsey Report. For its time (1948) it was shocking because it revealed that almost 50% of married couples had tried oral sex. And 30% of them had tried positions other than missionary position.

Now we look back and can't believe that 70% had never tried anything BUT missionary position. Everything seems to be out in the open for us; we have achieved the pinnacle of sexual freedom. We've got threesomes and S & M. We can chuckle at our ancestors who thought that for a woman to show her ankles was daring. We muse that anyone can ever have believed that masturbation might cause hairy palms and blindness.

And yet... we have plenty of inhibitions of our own. Case in point: the man who avoids having anything near his anus. Upon hearing the suggestion, he boldly displays a cross formed with both his index fingers, and inches stealthily backward toward the nearest exit. This is not the casual, "No, I don't think so," of a guy who's toyed with anal stimulation and simply prefers having his balls sucked. This is the denial of a guy whose mom told him everything back there was disgusting, and who is afraid it might hurt or that it might make him gay.

Susie Bright had a wonderful comment on this topic:

[Anal titillation is also just as much about not quite doing it it as it is about complete penetration. I had a brief affair a few years ago with a man much younger than me who bolted upright over my body when I first reached around to cup his cheeks. "You aren't going to do anything there," he said, like a pulp-novel virgin. "Well, I didn't have any agenda, but now that you've got me interested," I said. He begged me to promise I wouldn't slip anything in, not even a pinky. His cock was hard as a rock as he entered me. I couldn't resist -- I had to see -- so I said, "What if I just put my hand OVER it, what if my fingers are right NEXT to it?" He was delirious with the almost-but-not-quite possibilities.]*

Okay, so mom said it was disgusting back there. She had to! Little kids don't wash their hands! Yuck! Assuming that as adults we are familiar with soap, those inhibitions about a 'dirty' asshole aren't that useful anymore. It's just another body part, like an elbow or a dick, to enjoy as we please.

Does it make a guy gay? Blow jobs are more common among gays than anal sex is, and that doesn't stop anyone I know from getting a blowjob. Men and women, gay or straight, who like anal stimulation, like it because there are a lot of sensitive nerve endings there, and the anal area is a center of orgasmic contractions. On top of that, for men, the prostate can be a rich source of pleasure.

Or, maybe it will hurt. Our early training was to keep the area tight and tense, not to "let go" back there. The first time we try a finger it might hurt, generally because the area is too tense. Comfortable insertion is achieved through relaxation, not stretching.**

Take it easy, nobody's going to make you put things up your ass. But recognize that it's an inhibition, like the previous ones against oral sex, masturbation, and sex in positions other than missionary. Nobody is going to make you do those things either -- but it's nice to know that you can, and lightning won't strike.
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* from the book The Sexual State of the Union

**For men or women seeking to become comfortable with anal stimulation, the most comprehensive and useful webpage I have found is - http://www.sexuality.org/morin98.html

Edited by - RobHammer on 6/9/2004 10:06:14 PM

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I've done this once with a ex girlfriend but it was soooooo lame. I honestly didn't want to do it after about 2 minutes of mixed signals and uncertainty. I'm sure it can be great but I have yet to experience this.

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nutty

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In fact, there was a poll on pussy or anal, and most of the guys prefer pussy. Even among guys who prefer anal in porn, it is common to prefer the feel of pussy in daily life.

Edited by - lindi on 6/29/2004 11:01:31 AM

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SNP.

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