Those words were uttered by some random attendee towards the end of this year's AEE, not too far from the Jules Jordan booth. In many ways, I thought those words perfectly encapsulated most of my negative feelings about the show, especially that Saturday evening. Thankfully, the positives far outweighed the negatives.

I'm Anime Nut - real name's Alan - and this was my first-ever trip to the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo. I'd known about the show for years, thanks in large part to the regulars who frequent this board. I always wanted to attend the show, but up until the summer of 2006, I just couldn't get past the point of "Maybe next year..." So what changed last summer? What made me drop the wannabe act and decide to seriously plan my trip for this year's show? I guess you could say it was all because of [invalid URL removed]Eva Angelina

Even though she's been in the biz for a few years now, I didn't discover Eva until Summer 2006. First, I noticed her loyal fanbase on ADT. Then, I came across one of her scenes from one of those ubiquitous clip compilation websites. Next thing you know, I'm ordering her DVD's. At that point, I decided that I had to meet this woman.

So my trip-planning began in earnest. Being a huge Cirque du Soleil fan, my very first step was booking tickets for the 1/12/2007 performance of LOVE at The Mirage, as soon as they became available for purchase. Once that was finalized, I knew there was no going back. As the weeks and months passed by, I had my cheap-ass room at the Tropicana booked, along with my cheaper-ass flight on Southwest Airlines. I should probably mention now that my brother, Eric, had agreed to join me on this crusade. Anyways, as the Jan 11-14 weekend drew nearer, I started compiling all the info I could on who was scheduled to appear. Thanks to ADT and The Floating World, I had a pretty good idea of was gonna be there. A solid plan of attack was formed, and I felt confident that I would see and photograph everybody that I wanted to meet.

Good Lord, I could not have been more wrong. First, we leave the hotel late on Thursday afternoon - after having arrived at the airport only hours beforehand. Then, we get lost on the way to the Sands Expo - missed the Monorail stop, walked past the Venetian, etc. By the time we arrived at the Ticketweb registration line in Hall G, it was almost 3 pm - about an hour after fan hours began that day. As soon as we reached the top of that steep-ass climb into Hall A, my mind just about exploded. I'd seen pictures, videos, and what-not from past shows. Nothing - I mean nothing - prepared me for the full scope of this event. Wanting to cover as much ground as possible in those meager three hours of remaining show time, Eric and I split up. This would prove to be a very bad decision.

The very first girl I met and photographed was Gianna. She is simply unbelievable, and every bit as sexy in person as she appears on screen. She even flashed her nipples at the guy ahead of me, but my camera was way too slow to catch this moment. Moving on, I spotted my first surprise, unscheduled appearance of the show: Sophie Dee. As I would learn by the end of the show, she was not that hard to find at the show. I looked for Eva Angelina at the Sex Z Pictures booth, but she appeared to have left for the day, presumably to help set up her party that night. Anyways, the Elegant Angel booth was a huge highlight for me. Sierra Sinn was an absolute hellcat, and I couldn't get enough of the asses on Katja Kassin and Flower Tucci. In this day and age of "Thin is Sexy", I must appreciate the wonderful displays of junks in their trunks at this show.

And what about Stephanie Swift? Didn't expect to see her there, either. Since she was on her way to somewhere else, I only snapped one shot. Damn, can't believe how good she still looks today. Approaching the Hustler booth, I had my first truly-desired encounter of the show - basked in an almost ethereal light was the beauty of Hillary Scott. Now, I'd read on this board how shy and reserved Hillary appears in public. Having seen and enjoyed many of her scenes, I just couldn't believe that this anal prin-- no, anal queen could be anything but the same wild girl in public. Well, by the time I finished chatting with Hillary, I almost wanted to run to confession for all the dirty thoughts and dreams I'd ever had about her. She's just too cute and sweet to be true. But it is true, and we should all feel blessed that someone like Hillary exists in the business today.

As Thursday came to a close, I spent some quality time with the awesome Courtney Cummz and Alektra Blue. Both girls were very flirty and easy to talk to - always a good thing. If only Jenna Haze was around at that moment, I probably would've fried a brain cell or fifty.

And now we come to the horrible moment I alluded to earlier. Back upstairs in Hall A at the Kick Ass booth, I came upon a huge crowd surrounding new girl Heidi Stewart. I wasn't sure if she was an actual performer or just some fangirl getting carried away, but who cares? So, I set my giant bag o' porn down on the floor and waited my turn. While getting my picture taken with Heidi, I spotted one of my idols walking by - Mr. Marcus! I ran to meet him and get a quick photo. At that exact moment, my brother Eric showed up and took the shot. After Mr. Marcus left, Eric asked the worst possible question I could've been asked at that time: "Dude, where's your bag?" I looked down and swung around - it was gone. For the next two and a half minutes, my heart sunk lower and lower as I frantically asked total strangers if they were holding the right bag. Sure, most of the stuff inside that bag was free swag and autographs that I could've easily reacquired. However, what I didn't want to lose was the stack of DVD covers I brought from home to get signed. Suddenly, a light bulb went off over my head, and I ran back to the Kick Ass booth. Heidi was gone, the crowd was gone, and my giant bag o' porn... was miraculously still there, right where I left it. After a quick check to make sure nothing was missing, Eric and I decided to stick together for the rest of the trip.

That night, I learned from Eric that Kinzie Kenner was signing at the Digital Playground booth, Eva Angelina was definitely there with her trademark glasses, and Tory Lane caused quite a stir with her profanity-laced, nut-grabbing ways. Apparently, I had a lot to do the next two days. For dinner, we went to Pearl at the MGM Grand. While planning my trip to Vegas, we made a conscious decision to try something new and minimize the buffet meals. Pearl is an absolutely amazing Chinese restaurant, and I recommend it highly .

On Friday, after a quick run through the Wicked Pictures line to meet Kaylani Lei and Jessica Drake, I finally came face-to-face with Eva Angelina. Despite being exhausted and hung-over from the previous night's party, Eva was still my favorite encounter of the entire show. Up until then, I always had a glowing compliment or whatever to offer the girls. With Eva, however, all I could do was stammer incoherently at first. Eva's reaction? Threw her arms open, said, "Come here," and demanded a hug. Who was I to refuse such a humble request? While entwined, Eva whispered, "I love fans like you. You're too cute." By now, my blood's boiling and I'm about to suffer a catastrophic heart attack. I responded, "Nowhere near as cute as you." Slick, huh? After that, I asked Eva if and when she plans to join the Navy. Eva's face dropped a bit, then she said, "They won't let me join. I guess I'll just have to shoot porn for the rest of my life." As much as I dreaded the thought of Eva leaving the adult industry, I genuinely felt shocked and a little enraged by this news. Damn you, Navy! Don't you know how freakin' hot Eva Angelina would've looked in that uniform?

After that moment, the rest of the day just seemed to fly right by. Hillary Scott was looking even more adorable than before. Stormy Daniels seemed bigger than life in person, and I made sure to praise her work on Sleeping Around as she autographed my DVD cover. Alektra Blue was a real trooper as I put her through the ringer for what would be my longest photo shoot of the show. I had to beg a little bit to get her to squat down, but she was still smiling afterwards. Penny Flame lived up to her playful screen persona, and she rocked my world when she spread her legs and pulled my head down to her glorious ass for a photo. Ashley Blue was another one of those shockingly-sweet-in-real-life girls, while Trina Michaels gave me my sixty-fourth boner of the day when she commented on the warmth of my hands, then (cruelly) teased me into thinking she needed help warming up her breasts. Damn you, Trina, for being so hot. The Digital Playground girls - Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, Jana Cova, Lacie Heart, and Sophia Santi - were all pretty cool, though I must admit feeling a bit rushed in that line. More so than at any other booth. Plus, I was more than a little preoccupied with the fact that Kinzie Kenner was nowhere to be seen that day.

I got to meet the Hedgehog, Ron Jeremy. Funny moment - while waiting in line, a Korean husband-and-wife couple walked by. The wife spotted the Hedgehog, broke out a shocked grin, turned back to her husband, and said in a really thick accent, "Oh, Ron Jeh-ruh-mee!!! " Her husband followed her pointing finger, saw Ron, and let out a squeak of approval.

I guess you had to be there.

I got over my fear of Seymore Butts' horrific face and praised him for his years of service. I made sure to ask if we'd ever see The Interactive Adventures of Seymore Butts 3 . Unfortunately, Seymore seemed more than doubtful that'll ever happen.

Back at the Adam & Eve booth, I witnessed a historic encounter of ass queens past and present. I'm talking, of course, about Nina Hartley and Sunny Lane. I think the ground shook a little bit as their butts smacked together. Not long afterwards, I followed Sunny Lane back to the Pure Play booth and finally had a chat with another of my top-o'-the-list faves. If you think she looks cute on video, Sunny's even cuter and more charming in public with her fans. I hope she stays around for a long time.

As Friday wrapped up, I got to shake hands with Evan Stone, who I truly think is one of the best actors and all-around funny bastards working in the biz today. When I told him how lucky he was to break Devinn Lane's boy/girl cherry on screen, Evan got all giddy and uttered, "Oh man, I love Devinn Lane! That was a real honor." The dude is cool, funny, and very friendly - and you'd never know it just by looking at the guy. Brittney Skye was also there unannounced, so I made sure to snap a few pics.

That night, Eric and I went to see Cirque du Soleil - LOVE at The Mirage. I've now seen all of the resident Cirque shows (five in Las Vegas, one in Walt Disney World), and this fell right in the middle. Better than O and Zumanity; but not as good as KA, La Nouba, and Mystere. There were a couple sequences that felt under-developed, such as "Here Comes the Sun". Overall, though, the show's another classic, and I highly recommend it to Cirque and Beatles fans alike.

Okay, Saturday - last day of the show. Charlotte Stokely is absolutely stunning in person. She's cute on screen, but she was drop-dead gorgeous at AEE. When I dropped down on one knee and asked her to pose on my lap, Charlotte happily obliged. Afterwards, she made a few recommendations of some of her films, with comments such as, "This one has some good sex scenes in it, but I'm really proud of my acting in this one." God, I love her. The legendary Belladonna was super friendly, and Jenna Haze was incomprehensibly adorable and seductive at the same bloody time. Since Alektra Blue was nearby, I seized the opportunity to get Jenna and Alektra together and see if I could make my camera explode.

Back upstairs, I had a surreal chat with Joey Silvera. While I wanted to discuss his countless conquests, Joey seemed more interesed in the LumiQuest Ultra Soft bouncer/diffuser that I use for my camera flash. Still, it was a real pleasure to shake his hand. Right after that, I finally had my own encounter with Tory Lane. Yep, if you think she's wild on screen, then you already have a pretty good idea of how she is in public. As I stated in another thread, Tory is completely insane - and I mean that in the nicest possible way. By the time I got up on the podium with her, I couldn't resist bending Tory over the table and "playfully" pulling her hair. Of course, it was all consentual. When I asked her if I could get behind her for a photo, Tory replied, "Oh, yeah!" When I asked her to bend over the table for the shot, Tory answered, "Oh, FUCK YEAH!!! " It just doesn't get much better than that.

Just when I'd about given up hope it was ever gonna happen, my meeting with Kinzie Kenner finally took place. She's another girl whom I didn't discover until recently, but she quickly rose to become one of my all-time faves. Kinzie looked, sounded, and smelled every bit as wonderful as I imagined she would. Another treat was Aurora Jolie. The guys were going crazy for her body, and who could blame 'em? I fully intend to keep a close eye on her career as it develops.

This brings me to one of my most memorable AEE moments, not only for its sheer wonder, but for the heartache that followed in the aftermath. If you've already browsed through my photo gallery, then you've probably guessed I'm talking about my final encounter with Trina Michaels. Now, look at that ass. Having seen another guy pull a similar stunt the day before when she was wearing long white pants, I knew I just had to make a similar request after seeing what she was wearing this day. After calling my brother over to take a photo, I leaned in close to Trina and said, "I really wanna bury my face in your ass." Trina paused for a second, then answered, "Go for it. Whatever floats your boat." By this time, I'm starting to have second thoughts, but they quickly evaporated as soon as she pulled her skirt up and I was on my knees.

Now, you have to understand that, all weekend long, I had been having problems with the flash on my camera. Specifically, there seems to be a communication error through the hot shoe connection on my camera. The camera knows there's a flash connected to it, but sometimes, the flash doesn't always know it's sitting on a camera. So, I can hit the shutter button, get absolutely no response from the flash, and end up with a severely underexposed shot because the camera was expecting a flash. To make matters worse, this problem persists until I turn off and completely disconnect/reconnect the flash. Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that this problem was going to bite me in the ass in a bad way sooner or later. As fate would have it, this problem bit me in the ass just as I was trying to take a bite out of Trina Michaels' ass. Lemme tell you, for a woman who had been on her feet all day long, putting up with hordes of horny fans - her ass and crotch smelled good . Yep, I dug in that deep. Afterwards, once I realized what had happened with the camera, I felt devastated. I mean, I couldn't exactly go back and ask Trina to offer her ass to my face one more time... right? Yeah, I'll just keep telling myself that. Oh well, I still have the memory - and it's a damn good one.

With less than an hour to go in the show, both my brother and I were feeling beat, exhausted, and all-together satisfied with our experience. So, we made an early exit. Dinner was another great one, this time at Isla, a contemporary Mexican restaurant in T.I. Lindsey Meadows was there with a bunch of friends, but we didn't bother her. I was too hungry, and I was still bitter from my camera flash's betrayal earlier that day.

Sunday was fairly uneventful... with the sole, grand exception being my run-in with Hillary Scott at McCarron airport that evening. While waiting for our flight, Eric and I went to a Blue Burrito restaurant in the terminal to grab some food. Waiting for her order was none other than Hillary. Even with glasses and absolutely no make-up, Hillary looked cuter than ever. I didn't want to be a fanboy nuisance after AEE had already ended, so I just sheepishly asked, "So, how much sleep did you get this weekend?" Hillary looked over at me, smiled so adorably, and said in her melodic voice, "Not a whole lot." And with that, Hillary's order was ready, and she was gone, back to her gate to await her delayed flight. I felt like a total dork. One very happy, smitten dork.

That about sums up my first AEE. I had the most fun I've had in a very, very long time. I got to photograph, grope, and converse with many of my favorite porn stars. I got stabbed in the leg by one of those fucking machine dildos. I collected free swag that's much more entertaining than a car brochure at the local auto show. I satisfied my inner photographer and took tons o' pictures of beautiful girls without having to pay a single dollar for the opportunity .

Do I have any regrets? Hell, yeah, there's tons. I would've liked to have hit at least one of the many parties, but pre-booked events always conflicted with them. While I don't regret missing the awards, I would've liked to have been there at the red carpet. I wish I saw my top favorite girls - Eva Angelina, Kinzie Kenner, Sunny Lane, Courtney Cummz, Gianna, Jenna Haze, and Tory Lane - on all three fan days. I did see Hillary Scott on Saturday, but her photo doesn't appear in my gallery because of the above-mentioned camera flash debacle. I wish I met and photographed Natasha Nice.

But my biggest regret would have to be missing my opportunity to meet some of the great folks here at ADT. Sure, I probably bumped into or spoke with a couple of you without ever knowing it, but that doesn't really count. I would've liked to have been at the ADT breakfast, or Devinn Lane's ADT after-party. Part of the reason is the fact that, for quite a while, I've simply been a lurker on this board. Take a look at my number of posts. Not that high, is it? Well, I hope to change all that by next year's show. You guys and girls are just too cool, and you make my porn obsession seem just that little bit less weird. This is one of my favorite boards-- no, sites on the internet. There's some genuinely good people here, and some day, I'd like to shake all of your hands.

If you're still reading this ridiculously long post, I both apologize and salute you. Don't worry - I'm nowhere near this long-winded in person.

Cheers,
Anime Nut
aka Alan
aka Al

Anime Nut's AEE 2007 photos

Edited by - anime nut on Jan 21 2007

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