StephFan
Member
Central, CA., USA
8 Posts
11/99
|  Posted - Dec 5 1999 : 9:52PMI was just wondering what age you realized that you were gay. And what circumstances led you to realize it. I know that's a personal question, so I'll throw in a little secret of my own to make it more comfortable. Besides, passing judgement on others is for insecure people. My secret: I just turned 24 and I'm still a Virgin. I don't mean the kind that you lose after 5 posts. StephFan  [Link] |
Rayman
Member
Sherwood
6 Posts
12/99
| Posted - Dec 5 1999 : 10:13PM
Hey Steph...
I remember being very young and attracted to slightly chubby, hairy men. I would see them on Tv and movies and be really turned on.
But, I was not really sure why. I figured it out when I was about 18. I didnt really act out on it until then.
I think for most its a very hard learning lesson. There are places to go for sex that are not always safe and the people there are not always safe. Being young and trying to deal with sexuality, if thats an issue, is very difficult if there is no-one there to help you deal with the emotions.
Ray
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SFan
Member
12 Posts
12/99
|  Posted - Dec 6 1999 : 6:25PM
I have changed my user name to SFan. I hope that helps to avoid any confusion.
StephFan
Now, SFan... 
[Link] |
alanbenson
Member
Lompoc, CA USA
156 Posts
11/99
| Posted - Dec 6 1999 : 7:20PM
Rayman: Do you get alot of grief from other gay men about your attraction toward bigger & hairier guys? Or is it pretty common?
(Showing my own ignorance here. Also: sorry I don't know anything bout the video series you asked about; I hadn't even heard of them until your post. My tastes would probably strike you as very vanilla, but I'm always eager to learn more!)[Link] |
Rayman
Member
Sherwood
6 Posts
12/99
|  Posted - Dec 6 1999 : 10:07PM
A~
I tend not to see many gay men. I have always felt like an outsider. I was and have never been into the bar scene here in Portland. I used to live in an area where there were gay men a-plenty. But, it was hard to get the attention of "pretty boys". I mean that in no disrespect.
I used to think that only the "pretty boys" had the attitude. I have sensed learned that it is universal, all sexual types. Not much of a shocker, but all part of that learning process.
I would tend to fall towards the bear category myself. But, the bears can be just as judgemental.
For alot of people its strictly about sex. Not for everyone, but quite a few.
Ray[Link] |
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SFan
Member
12 Posts
12/99
| Posted - Dec 6 1999 : 11:31PM
"I have always felt like an outsider." - Rayman.
Don't worry, we all feel a little like outsiders at times. Everyone strays from the accepted norm in one way or another. You don't want to strive to be typical. Some like interracial relationships, some don't date within thier age, some like the same sex. Froget about sex, there are other quirks that people feel aren't publically accepted. Some people feel just as much of an outsider because they are overweight and they can't help that about as much as you can't help the fact that you are gay. that's what makes this world interesting and wonderful. Who you are has more to do with your own outlook on life. I've always felt like an outsider myself. I'm pretty anti-social. I've only recently had the courage to meet in large social groups and I still try to avoid it. I just feel insecure when I'm in a large group with people I don't know very well. I'm also pretty insecure on dates with people I don't know. But, I know that this is just the way I am because I understand that I am actually quite a catch. So, even though I think VERY highly of myself and feel like I have everything it take to make someone happy, I am still a nervous wreck in situations where I feel that I have to entertain. I am very intelligent and have a great (Dry) sense of humor, but my social graces are not that great because my natural mind flow shuts down and I get performance anxiety around women (unless I know them well). So the next time you feel like an outsider remember this...:
"Abnormal" = "Ab(ove) normal"
SFan[Link] |
Mikey
Member
Sacramento, CA, USA
28 Posts
12/99
| Posted - Dec 10 1999 : 10:18PM
I agree with bits and pieces that each person has mentioned. I am currently 21.. and I am still a virgin. I tend to think that I am much better off that If I had chosen to do stuff when I was much younger. I guess my lack of sex stems from me looking for a gentleman with a kind heart.. not just some sex toy. I find that there are a bunch of guys who only go for sex and dashingly good looks. I don't look bad myself, but I hate to be thought of as just a piece of meat.. which is what some guys would like to believe.
I think we all can agree that it takes more effort to be our type.. but it is comforting to be able to talk to others going through similar stuff.
[Link] |
alanbenson
Member
Lompoc, CA USA
156 Posts
11/99
|  Posted - Dec 11 1999 : 9:50AM
I learned long ago that if I wanted the healthy, happy sex life I deserved--I'd have to provide it for myself!
While I like to think that I'm open to anything, from a permanent love relationship to a quick one-night-fuck, the truth is that--like many, many folks--my sex life is mostly smut and fantasy.
But that's hardly some great tragedy. I make the best of it, and make sure to treat myself very well--since there's no one else around to pamper me...
Is it hard to be gay? Sure! It's hard to be human, too. Hard to be single. Hard to be shy. Hard to be old, or fat, or rural, or have a big nose, or a bad complexion, or... You get the picture.
But let's face it, in the global scheme of things, if your biggest problem in life is that people aren't breaking down your door to have sex with you, you've still got a pretty great life...
Personally, I love being gay. And I think most gay men are terrific!
And--in terms of general philosophy--if I'm not happy with my life, there's only one person who can fix it... (Easy to say. Harder to do. I know. Still, I've never found it to work any other way...)
Well, that's Alan's little sermonette of the day. Stepping off my soapbox now. And by the way, I'm grateful that you guys are willing to talk about yourselves so freely...[Link] |
netguy
Member
687 Posts
12/99
| Posted - Dec 16 1999 : 4:56AM
I realized it when I came out of my mothers womb, saw that cute doctor pulling on my head and wanted to s*ck him off!
LOL
Hope you guys have a sense of humor...glad to be here!!![Link] |
Janitor
Retired
Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service.
6409 Posts
11/99
| Posted - Dec 16 1999 : 9:11AM
hey netguy-
thanks for getting me laughing before coffee
Nice website!
Glad to have you here.
[Link] |
SFan
Member
12 Posts
12/99
| Posted - Dec 16 1999 : 12:28PM
Hi netguy, I was just reading some of your posts over at dvdtalk. I'm glad to see you over here to.
SFan[Link] |
PetRock
Member
Washington, DC
7 Posts
12/99
|  Posted - Dec 25 1999 : 12:00AM
I first "knew" by age 11 (fooling around with the boy next door was a clue I guess!) but didn't come to accept it until college (or probably just afterwards).
Aside from the random fooling around when I was a teenager, I didn't really have sex until I graduated from college and moved down to DC. Then all hell broke loose and I haven't looked back since! [Link] |
Tintin
Member
17 Posts
1/00
| Posted - Jan 4 2000 : 5:14PM
I guess I'll tell my little story. It's movie related so it will more or less fit in with the forum. I really knew when I was 14. I wanted the guy that sat in front of me in chemistry. I probably knew a little before then, but he is the first guy I remember being interested in. I decided right away that I would never persue it. I thought it was ok to be gay but I didn't want to deal with all the things that go along with being gay. I decided I would be alone for the rest of my life.
A little over three months ago I ran into Beautiful Thing on Bravo. It was severely cut so it didn't have a big impact on me at the time. I ordered it on VHS. By the time I had watched the tape two days in a row, I was a mess. I began thinking that maybe I didn't want to be alone. I watched it every day for a week. I was really a mess by then. I found the forum at beautiful-thing.com and made a post there. Several guys offered encouragment and one guy oftered to help. I began emailing him everyday. After about a month, I decided I wanted to meet him so I asked if it would be ok if I flew down to see him. He said sure so I flew down to see him a month later. I arrived on Monday. By Friday I was in love. It turned out he felt the same way. Neither of us said anything. After a few emails we told each other how we felt. It's too late to make a long story short but basically because of a movie I have something I thought I'd never have. A boyfriend. I flew down to spend New Years weekend with him. We fooled around a little. I'm still a virgin which is fine with me. I was amazed by how nice the comapny of another person is. Just being held is wonderful.
This was a little off the subject, but I haven't been able to tell anyone about it because no one knows about me being gay.
Edited to add I'm currently 24.
[This message has been edited by Tintin (edited January 04, 2000).][Link] |
Mikey
Member
Sacramento, CA, USA
28 Posts
12/99
| Posted - Jan 4 2000 : 5:34PM
Tintin.. I loved your story!! How romantic that love of yours sounds.. and its soo great that you found someone to call your "boyfriend". I also think that its great that you don't mind being a virgin.. I am too, as I am still waiting for the right guy to have a steady relationship in.. its great to hear that there are similar people my age (I am 22). Good luck with your new Boy friend! [Link] |
S Thorens
Member
Washington, DC
16 Posts
1/00
| Posted - Jan 4 2000 : 9:38PM
I realized I liked guys long before I knew I wasn't supposed to -- I was 6 years old the first time and it was I who seduced my 17 y/o sleeping cousin. I had seen his girlfriend giving him head and I climbed in bed with him in the wee morning hours, duplicating her efforts. He was not amused. He also scared me into inaction for a good number of years. I had several bad experiences in high school. Then, in college, i had several good ones, including my 1st boyfriend, which lasted about 3 years.
S Thorens
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