I just found out two of my favorite stars were abused and molested as children,and cant watch their scenes any more and I deleted their scenes from my computer. As someones who has studied psychology,I know how experiences like that can affect sexual behaviors. It just ruins the fantasy that these are just normal girls who wanna have sex and get paid. Im not saying that all stars who were molested are doing porn as coping mechanism,but I assume some of them are and just feel guilty possibly watching somebody elses misery. can you guys watch scenes of girls who you know had a hard life and can somebody name me some girls who had normal childhoods so I can enjoy their scenes guilt free. Edited by - tbetts12 on Feb 8 2011
I can watch any girl fuck! I don't worry about what happened to them. Honestly I don't really care either. I just figure they were put on this earth to please dick. But I hope the fuckers that did molest/rape them are either dead or in jail forever. I hate fucking rapist/molesters.
I tried to look at it like that,but I learned at school that some girls turn to promiscuity to as a defense mechanism to deal with trauma. but your right some of the girls probably are enjoying it. but I still cant watch jenna jameson scenes after knowing what happened to her
If it bothers you so much, I would just give up porn if I were you. Back in the day, the statistic was 1 in 4 females being sexually molested or raped at some point in their lives. I can't imagine that number has changed for the better.
But for some reason in porn, 99% of females have never been molested or rape. They are all gonna say they had "normal" childhoods until they get out of porn and wanna write a book. I can vaguely remember a performer or two being blunt about it while in porn.
Savoy and Ramsey make an some points that you really ought to ponder. Odds are fairly good that any particular woman in porn has been molested or abused at some point in her life, so either don't delve too deeply into her background or if one ethics or morals require delving so deeply into such highly personal matters, then just stop watching porn entirely.
You know what women who were molested as children really hate? Being labeled a victim for the rest of their life. Being treated as though everything they do, everything they think and everything they feel must be a result of what someone else did to them. Being promiscuous is sometimes a coping mechanism. It can be a way to take back the power over your sexuality and do only what you want to do with your body. Why should you decide that it is unwatchable and immoral to watch? And just for the sake of saying it, promiscuity can also be a self destructive behavior for women (and men) who have never been molested. Are you going to examine the internal motivation of every porn performer in the world?
whoah I didnt say it was immoral,and I understand your point. I just personally feel uncomfortable watching certain girls scenes,if they want to continue to do porn and their fans enjoy it more power to them and their fans,Im not condemning any one. As far as analyzing motives,I just feel that if her sexuality is coming from a dark place I just cant get into her scenes because of guilt and it ruins the fantasy,because I personally know a few regular chicks who were abused,most of which are doing ok. Its the same reason I dont watch porn with girls from poor third world countries,but have no problem watching porn from american,canadian and west european countries.
I'd look at it as, is her life better today than before she began in porn? As long as it appears so, that's as far as I'd take it. General rule of thumb seems to be, the more extreme acts she performs on camera, the more troubled her life was. Your best bet is to seek out the solo/lez only performers to watch. That and strive not to know their personal affairs.
pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07
Posted - Feb 9 2011 : 4:56AM
Have you never been in a relationship with a woman who had sexual abuse in her background? Would you not have sex with a woman because she had been sexually abused? The real question is does the performer enjoy the scenes she is doing now? Motivations are unknowable and complex.
This. I was molested and I know (and have known) dozens of women who were molested as kids or raped as adults. Reactions and coping mechanisms vary widely. Some are born-again Christians and deeply conservative, some are wildly outgoing and promiscuous. None are perfect. I've seen misery - and suicide - come to both extremes of that spectrum, and people in the middle. To me the bottom line is that when you're molested or raped, the most fundamental thing is that someone else is taking control of your body. You might feel that watching a former victim have sex is furthering abuse in some way, but to me it's even worse to act as if they can't make a choice to do what they want sexually. Annabelle Chong did the first 'World's Biggest Gangbang', I think. IIRC, she later said she had been raped and this was a way she could reclaim a sense of power and control sexually. If so, fucking the hundredth guy is a moment of triumph, not degradation. I also have misgivings about seeing someone being exploited or abused when they don't know what's going on. I don't watch that if I think it's happening. But if someone has been a victim of bad treatment and they're overcoming the effects of that through exhibitionism and exploring their sexual power, then I'm fine with it, and appreciate it. I only wish they could do so in a society that didn't then judge them harshly for sorting themselves out.
I would not have sex with someone I knew was sexually abused as a child. but I dont condemn people who would do that,and since motivations are complex and I cant 100% confirm that porn is not a coping mechanism. Id wrather not take a risk that I was taking advantage of someone elses misery,but I have no problem with porn fans that do watch their scenes. its like being a vegitarian because you value animal life, but you dont hate people who eat meat.
I have several friends and have had several girlfriends who were abused and molested as children or adults. They have all handled it differently. Some acted out, some became promiscuous, some withdrew from the world. Not a single one of them wants to be treated differently or looked at in a different light because of what happened to them. They are people just like you and me who want to be loved and cared about.
This. The lifelong effects of molestation are undeniable but speaking as someone who has worked with and lived with people recovering from childhood trauma it's terribly patronizing to say that the decisions they make in adulthood are simplistically an inevitable result of what happened to them in childhood. If a woman (or man for that matter) enjoys doing porn who are we to say anything about it or pity them? Perhaps they went into the adult industry as a way to have control over their sexuality?
For me, it's pretty easy. I don't want to know about their childhood, really. I barely remember most of my own. To me, it was a lifetime ago. Whether they've moved on, trying to move on or they're stuck in a rut replaying the same thing in their heads over and over, that has nothing to do with me.
Surely you're joking? Do you have any idea the number of women who have been molested? Assuming you're over 30 and have had an average number of sexual partners it's nearly a statistical fluke if you haven't already had sex with a victim of molestation.
no not at all people who were abused should retain the same rights and be treated equally,but since I cant confirm whether or not its coping mechanism,I am morally conflicted with watching their scenes,and it ruins the fantasy.
I don't think porn-stars want guys to discriminate against them on the basis of their childhood experiences. When the lady is an adult. And she wants me and other porn-fans to watch her have sex with other guys. Then this is good enough for me.
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Rosco Fuji Deactivated User
On the licking stick, Mr. Magic Dick! 3309 Posts 2/09
Posted - Feb 9 2011 : 3:17PM
In their own minds, yes they are. I've known 3 who were abused/raped in their early to mid teens and all three have definite issues mentally as far as self worth is concerned and also promiscuity wise. On the other hand, they were a hell of a lot of fun to fuck as nothing was off limits to them. Overall, they use their sluttiness in their search for love, but settle for something less than they deserve.
Can one make such a broad generalization based upon just three cases?
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Rosco Fuji Deactivated User
On the licking stick, Mr. Magic Dick! 3309 Posts 2/09
Posted - Feb 9 2011 : 4:06PM
Not at all, and I wasn't I was refering to those three girls. But to expand it further, listen to Stern sometime when he has porn girls on and he asks those type of questions. More often then not, there was some trauma earlier in their lives that lead them to porn. Is this true 100% of the cases? No,but it's more than less based on the show. I've seen several Bree Olson scenes where she's discussing her start to her sluttiness and it goes back to her having anal with a 20ish year old neighbor when she was 11 or 12. One doesn't need to be a Psycologist (sp) to say, "that isn't right, or is it healthy" Here's a bit of a review I wrote a year a year or so ago. Granted it's a bit dated, but I'm sure it holds up now just as well. Annette Haven, looking very lovely in short red hair, talking about her career, and also talking about how emotionally stunted/damaged/needy today’s actresses in porn are. Granted this interview took place in the early 80’s, but Haven goes on to say that while some are only in it for the money, a lot are looking only to be loved. Haven admits to having this flaw herself.
already procreated and got one on t he way why are you so mean spirited I was just saying I feel some what morally conflicted about taking advantage of someones potential psychological state.
This makes me think of the performers in more socially accepted realms who do the same. Many actors, singers, comedians etc have said they had bad childhoods, abuse, loveless parents and so on, and that the love of the audience is what drove them to perform. And of course the love of the audience is fickle, and is a love of the performance/performer, not the self, so it often ends up as a poor solution. Lots of people in life have had bad things happen to them, including a lack of love, and seek redress through making others happy one way or another. If you refuse risking participation in any such process I think you'd need to eliminate all entertainment involving human beings. For that matter, it's so of many doctors, psychologists, social workers and so on too. You might have to give up living. The worst I've encountered was a girl who'd been molested by her father and referred to sex as "Daddy and daughter games". I never slept with her and don't think I could have in that knowledge, so I can see the OP's point of view, I think. BTW, she's since married, has two kids and a fairly impressive corporate career, and I have no idea to what extent her thoughts and feelings about sex have changed.
pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07
Posted - Feb 11 2011 : 2:55AM
Seriously? So if you entered into a loving and close relationship with a woman and then she told you that she had suffered abuse in her past (about the only time she would tell you was after getting to know you well), you'd dump her? And you think that's the moral thing to do?
I'm guessing that for anyone with this active of a conscience -- not that there's necessarily anything wrong with it -- watching porn probably isn't the best choice. One could easily start expanding this out to alcohol abuse, drug abuse, physical violence, etc. and fritter away one's time endlessly in extraordinary moral pontification......about one's porn. Hell...one could even start to expand out to the nude scenes of mainstream stars, etc. if one kept this up long enough. For me, people have a right to choose what they do, and it isn't my business to try to diagnose why they do it. As long as they are of a sound enough mind, it's their choice. No reason for me to cast them into the role of the perpetual victim...which is where these type of thought processes often (though not necessarily in this case) end up.
I always thought psychologist and psychiatrist were probably just as messed up or worse than the patients. I mean imagine a porno chick going to a sexual abuse therapist who likes porn. Awkward.
i have dated a lot of women and would say 25-50% of them admitted to me some form of abuse/molestation/rape whether as a child or as an adult. It used to really depress me when i was younger that it was so prevelant. also when i watch a few porn documentaries abuse always came up and how sooo many porn stars turned to being promiscuous/porn etc as a result. it did affect me and at the time never watched anything the said porn stars did, but now i see it as they are making good money, getting some fame and they are the stars of the production not the men. I also started thinking, well are they meant to do nothing and act like victims forever? no they can do whatever they want, and if they make some good $$$ from porn good on them But yes, i hope the people who commited the offences on them or any woman rot in hell as its such a cowardly low act.
Posted - Feb 8 2011 : 2:48PM
