wanka
Senior Member
1678 Posts
5/13
|  Posted - Aug 10 2014 : 4:15AMAllright so i have a slight relationship problem and i would like to hear your views about it. So i have been with my gf for quite some time now.In the course of this i have been cheated on by her a few times. The 1st year i used to talk to her on the phone and many times she would abruptly hang up and if i called her back her phone would be busy.When she would ring back she would tell me it was some relative who was not in the same country and so he/she had called her up and bla bla.I then caught her exchanging texts with some guy and when i confronted her she came clean and said that the guy was taking interest in her but she wasn't interested and she called the bloke up and told him to not call her and stuff.She had previously been on a college trip to the guy's college and who knows what they did back then but since i was not in a relationship with her i did not really care much about it.She had lied to me that she was a virgin and opened up about how on another college trip she had gotten into a relationship with a guy who she then got into a relationship with and it was him who used to call her late at night and not her distant relatives!! The 2nd year with her passed on smoothly.Her phone was never engaged and i felt like she was settling down into a comfortable stable relationship with me. The 3rd year she picked up a job and was adamant on taking it up and she left my city.Her attitude really changed and this is where she cheated on me.She got into a relationship with a guy who was her supervisor/boss.She would fight a lot with me and she broke up with me for a short duration.She then went on to spend a weekend with the dude.I did not know she had gone as such and when she came back she called me up and said she was sorry for breaking it off and said she wanted me back.I agreed.However she continued to 2 time me and was seeing both the guy and me.When i found out i confronted her as well as him and called the chap up who was living in another city and he was shocked as well for he was lied to about this as well.She then acted all sad and sorry and said she would chose me over him and she broke up with him and said she would be loyal to me.She cried a lot and tried very hard at making me happy. In the 4th year her parents decided to get her an "arranged marriage" as she is a muslim and they have this culture thing i guess[i am not].She did not tell me about this initially but i found out and wasnt too fussed about it tbh.But she didn't like the guy apparently and she broke it off with him.She begged me to take her back which i hesitantly did. She has been with me these last 2 years and hasnt cheated.Now she is pressing me to marry her! Now i was pretty chilled about her past actions because the sex was good and i wasnt really interested in marrying her and did not mind her leaving either.She is older than me and i basically stayed in it because she was hot and i liked the sex a lot.I never thought she was going to ask me to marry her.All these years i did not really try to get other gf's because i was guaranteed good sex and i could live my own life - study,go the the gym,play games,hang out with friends and stuff and whilst i talked everyday to her i only met her on weekends and stuff.These last 2 years she has picked up a good sensible job,has started working for a child charity and has gotten serious.And now she has popped the question!I have been pretty happy seeing her improve from her past wayward ways but i had no idea she would get so serious about me.She really has gotten serious now and i am very confused about it all. So what do i do?Do i consider her past and tell her we cannot make it work?Or do i only look at her last 2 clean years and believe she has improved and will never cheat again?Also since i was so chilled about stuff earlier and took her back do i have any right to tell her that i will not be marrying her now because of those earlier transgressions?I wasnt serious about her earlier but these last 2 years i have gotten emotionally involved with her too i guess. Since i remember her past will i ever be able to get past it?I don't want to marry a cheater but then these last 2 years she has been totally loyal.Do cheaters change?Do chime in fellas!  [Link] |
dogzcatcher 
All-Star Member
Fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go round!
1551 Posts
5/09
| Posted - Aug 10 2014 : 1:31PM
The quality of the people you meet, depends a lot on the venue where you find them.
I met my first wife in a tavern.
She was never quite happy or content with anything.
We never trusted each other to combine our incomes.
The sex was very good, yet, honesty between each other was never there.
I met my second wife in a church.
She is content to sew and catch fish and watch the television with me,
without always trying to acquire more stuff.
We enjoy each other's company.
We have several "date nights" each week.
My conclusion and sage advice?
Marry a woman you meet in church, not a bar. [Link] |
wanka
Senior Member
1678 Posts
5/13
| Posted - Aug 10 2014 : 4:24PM
Church! .Well i do not know whether you are metaphorically hinting at something with that or being serious tbh.
The last 2 years morally she has been very good.The problem with morality here is i have not been completely moral as well because if cheating was such a huge issue for me i should have left her back then itself yet i did not do so because i did not think about marriage and she was hot and stuff.So i cannot claim to be in the clear here either although i have not cheated and for marriage i do want complete monogomy and trust.I wonder if the behavior on which i should base trust is from the start itself or these last 2 years alone[its going to be 3 yrs actually!]?
Btw if you met your wife at church is she a bit of a prude or is that simply a stereotype?I am pretty satisfied with my sex life - proper bj's,facials,swallowing,spanking,a little rough sex and now rimming as well!
Since sex is such an important part of the relationship i do wonder "what if the next girl does not do all the above that i like" and that really scares me.Plus she has no problem with me watching porn either.
Such a tough situation this is [:P)][Link] |
Macko69
Senior Member
Gone for a walk.
1985 Posts
5/08
| Posted - Aug 11 2014 : 2:51AM
It sounds as if she's an opportunist. She may not be actively looking for someone else, but if someone she likes pops into the picture, she'll take them for a "test drive". Also, by now you've set sort of a pattern. She'll go bang other dudes, and when she gets caught, she apologizes and you take her back.
In her defense, though, people can change. Maybe she has. I can't really advise one way or the other because I don't know her. Best of luck to you.[Link] |
wanka
Senior Member
1678 Posts
5/13
| Posted - Aug 11 2014 : 4:39PM
Yes the pattern is what worries me because well i allowed the pattern to develop knowing this was not going to last and now its an ultimatum sort of thing.Even is she has changed i will always doubt her i guess so i will have to break her heart it seems.Even if she has been great these last 2 years who knows if its an act.I still have the whole month to think this through though so more thoughts are always welcome.[Link] |
| |
|
Pieps
Senior Member
Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong!
9233 Posts
11/13
| Posted - Aug 11 2014 : 4:48PM
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...
You know, all people are complicated.
If you were devoted to her and wanted to get married, you would have by now. Your whole view of this as a question that can be laid out as pros and cons to get some kind of score that you can total up, tells me plenty.
If you are asking other people whether to marry someone or not, that's all I need to know.[Link] |
wanka
Senior Member
1678 Posts
5/13
| Posted - Aug 11 2014 : 5:13PM
Indeed this is true.To marry, a person knows all by themselves when the right time and who the right person is.Plus i am 25 and i have always thought of marrying around 30 so this is not going to work out anymore.And i feel like i have wasted her time these last 2 years and even if i have not slept around, morally i do not feel i am right in leading her on.Breaking up will be very hard.[Link] |
Flash
Golden Age Classic
11018 Posts
5/01
| Posted - Aug 12 2014 : 10:06AM
Just because you don't want to get married doesn't mean you have to break up. Just talk with her, explain that you aren't ready for marriage -- to anyone -- right now.[Link] |
wanka
Senior Member
1678 Posts
5/13
| Posted - Aug 12 2014 : 3:31PM
She brought marriage up and is serious about it and whilst i succeeded in stalling the discussion it has finally happened.I do not think it is fair for me to keep her hooked on but never consider marriage.She says she just wants me to commit to marriage or get engaged next year or somewhere down the line if i do not want to marry straight away.
[Link] |
Flash
Golden Age Classic
11018 Posts
5/01
| Posted - Aug 12 2014 : 6:23PM
It is fair if you state you are not looking to be married nor will you commit to getting married at any point. If she still wants to stay with you after, you aren't keeping her as your girlfriend under false circumstances.[Link] |
wanka
Senior Member
1678 Posts
5/13
| Posted - Aug 16 2014 : 11:51AM
Yes well i had a talk and it does not look like this is going to end.Once tears come into play it really becomes difficult to reason with a woman [:p)].[Link] |
Pieps
Senior Member
Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong!
9233 Posts
11/13
| Posted - Aug 16 2014 : 4:37PM
Well, believe me, she's not changing her mind about wanting the kind of life that she wants, and this is not the last you'll hear of it.
Edited by - pieps on 8/16/2014 4:38:08 PM[Link] |
editorbb
Member
363 Posts
7/10
| Posted - Dec 5 2014 : 4:37PM
If she wants to fuck other men and will commit to using protection tell her to have a great go ahead. Sometimes you may just want to grab a beer and watch her fuck like a nympho. Gone are the times of old thinking. I live in Saudi and despite all their Chasity and hejab muslim women are big time whores. Actually the hijab and face covering gives them anoymity to be total whores and this is why women seem to adhere to Islam more stingily than men
Edited by - editorbb on 12/5/2014 4:42:08 PM[Link] |
jillymayr
Deactivated User
29 Posts
12/13
| Posted - Dec 6 2014 : 3:22PM
Clearly you 2 are in very different places in your life so dont waste her time like she wasted yours earlier with her past transgressions - if you're not going to put a ring on it, let that bird fly now[Link] |
Horny Jew
Deactivated User
20 Posts
11/11
| Posted - Dec 18 2014 : 8:10AM
What's the difference between a Jewish woman and a Muslim woman ?
The Jewish woman has real jewelry, but fake orgasms.
The Muslim woman has fake jewerly, but real orgasms.
Wanka, does that help ? :)[Link] |
| |
|
wanka
Senior Member
1678 Posts
5/13
| Posted - Jan 3 2015 : 4:03PM
^
Tell me more editorBB.That seems like an amazing theory.The hijab and veil help them get more cocks  .
Anyway we are no longer in a relationship and are normal friends and talk about 3-4 times a week.I even changed my avatar here and i am trying hard to like a different body type.My initial avatar had Alanah Rae and that was because her body was like Alanah's.So i am watching girls whose body is very different from hers .I still do end up watching Alanah though [:p)] but so far i have not gone back to her.
It took me 2 months of constant convincing to finally get her to see things were not going to work between us.And i do miss her really bad.Its the companionship i think that really kills me - sharing every little detail on the phone every night.I do wonder if i can have something as good again and i also still wonder if sex and fidelity are overrated or not. [Link] |
