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All Forums > The Porn Pool > The Porn Pool Forum Page 360 > Cumwhipper's Mini-Review Thread - and other stuff
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Cumwhipper
Senior Member


4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Oct 29 2006 : 9:36PM
Hey Now has his own quickie review thread, so I thought I'd like to start my own version. The occasional mini-review (if I'm moved to write one), favorite movie rentals of the week, recent purchases, and other miscellaneous flotsam, jetsam and effluvia from the twisted mind of Cumwhipper.

To whit, here's my Movie of the Week (or last rental period, or whatever). This one is a no-brainer:

"Wasted Youth", from RLD. It's Mark Wood's new line focusing on newbies, and this first release is HOT. The cast has some real cuties, including Adrianna Faust (this girl is walking wet-dream material. Her ass is a wonder to behold, and her natural, pointy tits are fucking awesome), Presley Maddox (what a slutty girl - I see BIG things in this girl's future), Ryzell (does anal like she's been doing it for years, and maybe she has!). Good production values on top of a great cast made this a real pleasure to watch.

Watched a lot of dreck this week as well. The worst of the worst:

"Gag Factor #22". They fucked up the digital transfer, and ended up making it a smaller bordered screen within the normal 16:9 screen. HORRIBLE and virtually unwatchable, despite the opening scene in which some poor girl blows a snot bubble half the size of her head and KEEPS it there while some guy shoots stills of it. One of the stills made the boxcover. The boxcover is better than the entire movie. Avoid this like the plague.

"Blow Me Sandwich #9" - Suffers from the exact same mastering issues as "Gaga Factor #22". WTF??? Are they deliberately trying to piss off customers? I NEVER would have expected such a gaffe from Zero Tolerance. They're known for their production values. Sad.

"Slut Collectors" - One of Johnny Darkko's latest efforts. Every scene was filmed in a loft, and there's not enough frickin' light. To top it off, Darkko got cute with the effects, and added a sepia-like coloring to every scene. Ruined it. Even the presence of Lexi Love can't save this stinkbomb. Sorry Darkko, but it didn't work for me at ALL.

Dishonorable Mention:

Another one that is barely worth a rental is the latest "Down The Hatch" - don't remember the number, but it features Sindee Jennings. I haven't really enjoyed a Down The Hatch release since about #15 - the one where Hillary Scott gargles 5+ loads and the bubbles billow up and out of her mouth like some alien being (awesome scene). Sindee Jennings is over-acting to a ridiculous degree. It's a sad thing - her scenes make me pity her more than anything else. She needs to get out of porn and find something she actually at least SEEMS to enjoy. Rest of the film is just boring, in my opinion.

Cumwhipper, out.

HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 12:37AM
Yay! This Hey Now fellow is getting a lot of talk right now. I even saw my Quickies made the Weekly Fix. I about blew a snot bubble when I finally opened my email today.

I'll have to check out that Wasted Youth. I didn't notice the problems with Blow Me Sandwich 9 and WOW, I haven't seen it yet, but the Darkko putting out a bad piece of work? It's like the sun not rising in the morning.

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 12:47AM
Hey HeyNow! Thanks for stopping by.

Yeah, even Darkko can lay an egg. I love Load Sharing and Suck It Dry, but even some of those scenes are lacking in light, and I seem to recall a bit of soft-focus stuff going on as well in a few scenes in those movies. I tend to prefer straightforward camerawork, good lighting, etc.. Leave the "art house" effects out of porn - it wreaks of pretense.

Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 3:15AM
Where's you mom?
Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 3:31AM
I want to meet her online ASAP, preferably on ADT.
 
Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 3:32AM
And no I'm not drunk, I think...
Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 3:33AM
Sorry about the thread derailment Cumwhipper, I really like you man!
Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 3:36AM
I mean not in a gay way of course...
Len Nicodemo
Doctor of Pornography (Po.D.)

On avatar hiatus
1224 Posts
2/06
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 6:02AM
Great initiative, Cumwhipper!
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 8:31AM
Thanks Len and Joey (I think, lol).

I'll try to live up to my own expectations for this thread, but I can't make any guarantees.

Oral B.
Member

349 Posts
4/05
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 5:11PM
Thank you for the mini reviews Cumwhipper.
I'll check back here for sure.
steed
Member

426 Posts
11/05
Posted - Oct 30 2006 : 6:54PM

Nice work Whip....I'll watch for more.

BTW I just added "Wasted Youth" to my list of new DVD's to get. Your seal of approval is good enough for me.

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Oct 31 2006 : 7:53AM
@steed - Glad I can be of assistance! Based on your other posts, I think you'll like "Wasted Youth"

A couple quickies...

"Cockasian" (Digital Playground) - Not only an extremely amusing title for a series, but a damned good release. If you like cute asian girls getting turned out, and particularly if you have a big-screen TV (shot with high-end cams and in true widescreen - nice!), you'll almost certainly enjoy this movie. The standouts: Tia Tanaka taking on 2 guys (good God, this girl is cute!); Evelyn Lynn (a cute 18-year-old newbie) also taking on two guys - the double-blowjob action here is SCALDING - some of the best I've ever seen. This girl seems to love having cocks in her mouth. HOT!; a BTS with Charmane Star - the blowjob action here is balls-draining stuff. Extremely well captured and TONS of ECWC from one of the most beautiful women EVER to do porn. The fucking is with condom, but I pretty much FF'd over it anyway - the BJ was the standout for me.
About a 7.5 out of 10.0 on the Cumwhipper scale!

"I love My Pearl Necklace" (5th Element) - Yet another DVD where they have a fat border around the entire picture. It's like watching everything 1/2 sized. Makes the movie unwatchable! I can't understand what the fuck is happening here, but this is the THIRD movie I've seen in the last 2 weeks that has this problem. A hot cast, totally wasted here. Skip it.
1.0 out of 10.0 (at most!)

Enjoy!

tritone
Deactivated User

1009 Posts
4/03
Posted - Oct 31 2006 : 2:57PM
CumWhipper,

I TOTALLY agree with you about the black borders around the Blow Me Sandwich #9 movie. WTF were they thinking?

Either you go full widescreen 16:9 for real, or you do full screen 4:3. None of this BS in-between stuff. It was like I was watching a movie within a picture frame.

I can't figure out if they actually intended to do this or if there was some kind of mastering problem.

Edited by - tritone on 10/31/2006 2:57:56 PM

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Oct 31 2006 : 5:51PM
I just posted a question about this in a thread that Oren put up in the New Releases section... here - let's see what he has to say!
 
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 2 2006 : 10:51PM
Recent rentals...

"Deep Throat This #30" - Great cast, and some smokin' hot oral action with some truly MONSTER facials delivered by the usual suspects. The Deep Throat This series is solid, blue-collar porn. It doesn't pretend to be anything it isn't. The lighting and color ranges from fair to good. But there's plenty of good close-ups and ECWC. Almost every girl gets 2 cocks to suck. Kara Mynor, Vanessa Lynn, Ryann Reynolds, Chelsie Rae, Addison Rose, and covergirl Persia DeCarlo were the standouts in my opinion. Ryann Reynolds literally makes love to her stunt cocks - you have to see this to get what I mean - but it's HOT. Addison Rose - OMFG! - She is awesome. She looks so good with her mouth and lips stretched around a cock it's ridiculous. Jessi Summers is not my cup of tea, but she gets absolutely DRENCHED by two giant loads - it's awesome. I rented this one a few weeks ago, and remembered how good the Addison Rose and Ryann Reynolds scenes were - and I remembered right. I may just buy this one. 8.0 out of 10.0 - Best of the recent bunch.

"Who's That Girl #3" (Vouyer Media) - Another installment in a fairly middle-of-the-road series. Covergirl Presley Maddox is pretty hot, and I like the way she downed 5 loads in her extended scene. Some other girl named Brooke was smokin' hot, a really cute, tiny girl with AMAZING natural tits and a phat ass. And she downed 4 loads like it was nothing. About a 6.0 out of 10.0 - worth checking out for Presley and Brooke.

"Teens Craving Cum" (PXP) - A retread of a previously released del Toro movie - basically they renamed it. I think the original title was "Cum Addicted Teens" or some such thing. I absolutely PANNED the original release of the movie. Not one of the girls swallows the cum, and they're supposedly addicted to it. Watching this movie again, there were a few hot moments, but nothing all that strokeable. A nice cast (Aubrey Addams is almost never boring). 4.0 out of 10.0 - barely worth a rental.

"She's Got a Cum Fixation #2" - Second in Benjamin Bratt's series. Boring, pint-by-numbers porn, with mediocre camera work. And only ONE girl actually swallowed any cum. Every other scene ends with the girl basically hiding the cum in her mouth as the camera fades out. Totally lame. Skip it. Kelly Brookx raises this to a 2.0 out of 10.0 - but I wouldn't even bother renting this one (unless you have a fixation).

Cumwhipper, out!

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 8 2006 : 5:32PM
I've watched a bunch of rentals recently - lots of one-on-one scenes with pretty, new girls, but most of the scenes fade pretty quickly in my memory. A couple standouts, though:

Samantha Rose, in "New Chicks Cum First #2". She gets 2 guys working her over like a ragdoll. When they get her in piledriver, they make her keep spreading her pussy wide open. Soon, a LOT of air has built up inside her pussy, and we get treated to some extremely funny, and extremely LOUD pussy farts. Awesome stuff. Samantha is a nasty girl. I want to see more.

Samantha Sin, in "One on One #6" - best girl in the movie, and an extremely hot scene. I'm so sick of seeing John Strong in every other frickin' scene, I almost couldn't bear to watch another one, but Samantha is so hot, I quickly forgot about the fact that it was Mr. Strong delivering the pounding. I've loved this girl since seeing her in "Tonsil Train #6". A very hot scene. Adriana Faust has a very enjoyable scene in this movie as well. That girl's body is just insane!

Best movie by far: "Swallow this #5". The Gigi and Maya Hills scenes are screen-meltingly hot. Almost worth the price of the movie. The DVD itself has a lot of production problems, including horrible color in most of the scenes, and some weird camera problem that causes the action to appear very "jerky". If you frame-by-frame through the action, every 3rd frame is repeated twice. This is extremely annoying and almost ruined the movie. Still, the Gigi and Maya scenes are so hot, I must recommend this to all blowjob and cumswallow fans. 7.5 out of 10.0

HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Nov 8 2006 : 9:56PM
Saw this one last night even after your warning - I had too see for myself. I was hoping to prove you wrong because I'm such a fan of Darkko, but I totally agree - first failure of his that I can remember. What ever camera or how ever it was shot, he has to give that up. It just didn't look good. Too much contract maybe? Shadow areas too dark? I don't know.
Lexi_Love
Member

Lets Talk About SEX !
301 Posts
10/05
Posted - Nov 9 2006 : 1:01AM
Some inside info, Darkko didn't add the toning the editor did :(.
Mike Quasar
Zero Tolerance

Reluctant pornographer
1768 Posts
7/01
Posted - Nov 9 2006 : 1:27AM
This movie was shot in native 16X9 HDV, edited in non-anamorphic 16X9 and authored in 16X9. I have no idea why you are having this issue but first thing in the morning I will pull one off the shelf and try to figure out what happened.
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 9 2006 : 7:15AM
Often when I see trailers and previews for mainstream movies, it's in this reduced-size format. Sometimes previews on porn DVDs use this format for the intro part of the movie, but then switch to fullscreen when the actual movie starts.

I posed a question about this in another thread about a different movie. I've seen this THREE times in the last few weeks. I'd love to hear what you find out.

Mike Quasar
Zero Tolerance

Reluctant pornographer
1768 Posts
7/01
Posted - Nov 9 2006 : 11:14AM
Okay. I have viewed this title on every television set in my home including both widescreen plasma and old fashioned 4:3 and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this disc. It displays in standard letterbox on my 4:3 television and also on my plasma because this disc is non-anamorphic. There is no "picture frame effect, just the standard black bars at the top and bottom. Might I suggest that it's possible that your television or DVD player is not set up to correctly display a widescreen title. I wish I had different info but again, I've played it on 3 T.V's and it's fine.
Mike Quasar
Zero Tolerance

Reluctant pornographer
1768 Posts
7/01
Posted - Nov 9 2006 : 11:34AM
It's also possible that you have a pirated copy. Did you buy it online or at a store?
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 9 2006 : 5:51PM
Thanks for taking a look. I've played plenty of widescreen titles on my TV and they've displayed just fine. I have no idea what's up with this disc (or the other two I mentioned). I guess it's possible that it's a pirated copy, but I don't know how I would verify this, because this was a rental copy.

Oh well, no big deal. Sad that I can't watch this movie though. It has a great cast.

Mike Quasar
Zero Tolerance

Reluctant pornographer
1768 Posts
7/01
Posted - Nov 9 2006 : 6:35PM
Would you mind sending me an email telling we where you rented it? It really sounds to me like it's a bootleg copy. I've since had them pull a few others off the shelf to spot check them and they're all fine. I'd really appreciate it.
 
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 7:32AM
YGM!

Thanks again Quase.

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 7:37AM
Latest rental of note:

"Tonsil Train #6" - I think this is the third or fourth time I've rented this movie! I may as well surrender and buy the damned thing. LOL. The Nikki Nievez and Samantha Sin scenes are more than worth the price of the DVD. Samantha Sin sucking all those dicks is so strokeable it's ridiculous. She smiles, jokes with the guys, looks at the camera a TON, spends a lot of time deepthroating almost all the cocks, and even laughs at how difficult it is to get the thickest cock all the way down her throat. AWESOME scene.

tritone
Deactivated User

1009 Posts
4/03
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 9:53AM
Look -- I have the same "problem" as Cumwhipper with the movie and I bought mine from XrentDVD.

Could you please explain why you would shoot a movie in 16:9 not make it anamorphic? I am not being an ass here, I just want to know if there is a technical or budgetary reason to do so.

Because when I see 16:9 widescreen now, I expect the picture is going to fill up my entire 32" widescreen LCD like the Digital Playground releases or the ones from Vouyer Media.

MY TV config is fine because when I put one of those discs in, they expand to make it truly widescreen and the subjects look "natural" and not strechted to make it fit.

But when I put in your disc, its treats it like its a 4:3 and centeres horizontally around black borders. Now thi s is fine because it preserves the aspect ratio. What I don't like is that WITHIN THAT 4:3 PICTURE THERE IS ANOTHER LEVEL OF "LETTERBOXING" that puts black bars on the top and bottom! That makes NO SENSE to me? Why is that happening?

I understand that I should see them on a normal 4:3 television, but on a true widescreen TV it should expand and fill my screen while preserving the right look of the scene.


Mike Quasar
Zero Tolerance

Reluctant pornographer
1768 Posts
7/01
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 11:19AM
The fact that this particular disc is non-anamorphic has nothing to do with budget but everything to do with the fact that most people still have 4:3 T.V's and we're making a gradual transition. All of our HD titles since that one are anamorphic. Also, Cumwhipper did not say whether or not he watching it on a 4:3 or 16:9 screen so I assumed it was 4:3. Personally, I leave my plasma set up to display 16:9 content regardless if 90% percent of what comes on looks slightly squished.
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 7:47PM
My TV is a 16:9 HDTV, so I'm in the exact same boat as tritone
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 7:49AM
Just have to mention Gigi and Maya Hills in "Swallow This #5". Incredible scenes.

The rest of the scenes are barely strokeable. It's like they used a different cam to shoot these other scenes. The camera seems to be capturing the action in a very jerky manner. Very unpleasant to watch - almost nausea-inducing. Different set as well.

Oh well. Oral fans should definitely check out this DVD just to watch Maya and Gigi.

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Dec 2 2006 : 10:10AM
A few quick hits...

"Frosty Finish" from Vouyer Productions - I really wanted to like this movie. Hell, it's got Tia Tanaka and Celina Cross in their own blowbangs - how bad can it be? But it was mediocre at best. Not enough close-ups, for one thing. And not enough ECWC. There are so many other great blowbang lines out there, it really takes something new and different to amaze me. 5.0 out of 10.0

"Send It Down" from PXP. New director Claudio, ably assisted by Kristie Love, have put together a very nice blowbang movie. Definitely worth a rental (I almost purchased it the other day). The Whitney Stevens scene is hot, and the Amber Rayne scene is even hotter. 7.5 out of 10.0

"Spring Chickens #17" (Chico Wang, for Diabolic)- Worth seeing for the Chelsie Rae and Whitney Stevens scenes alone. Whitney takes on 2 guys here, and some of the views of this girl's enormous tits swinging and swaying are real drool material. I'm loving this Whitney girl. I'm looking for any scenes I can find with her. She sometimes is a little on the quite side in her scenes, but with tits like hers, who gives a fuck!? 6.5 out of 10.0

"Gang Bang My Face" (Jake Malone, for Evil Angel) - Finally got this - the order took almost 2 frickin' weeks. Still, it was worth the wait. Incredible movie. Sasha Grey deepthroats the likes of Brandon Iron, Lefty LaRue, Tone Capone and Lee Bang, and she does it over and over. She gets her face slapped, spit on, cummed on, and just seems to love every minute of it. This is AVN award material if there ever was such a thing. And Lexi Love's scene is among her best ever. As the guys start cumming in her mouth, it turns into a bubble machine and the sperm bubbles billow up and out of her mouth - big, shiny sperm bubbles - and Jake wisely captures it all up-close and with tones of ECWC from Lexi. Phew! These two scenes alone are worth the price of admission. There's tons more to recommend about this movie, but I won't ruin all the rest of the surprises. 10.0 out of 10.0 (I'll try not to give this rating to too many movies - maybe one or two a year - but if this movie doesn't qualify, nothing does)

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Dec 27 2006 : 9:51AM
Back after a prolonged flu (ugh) followed by the holiday madness...

Best recent rental is Mark Wood's new blowjob-only movie "Liquid Diet #2" . Cute girls, very nice tease in almost every scene, and tons of ECWC during the oral sequences. Oh, and did I mention cute girls? LOL

See my mini-review of "Liquid Diet #2" in this thread.

9.5 out of 10.0 on the Cumwhipper scale. The Brandy scene is KILLER!

Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Jan 17 2007 : 1:03AM
Quick check in...

2 MUST-SEE movies - "Teens With Tits #9" (Has Bree Olson and Natasha Nice, just to name 2 of the very hot girls in this cast), and "Sperm Receptacles #2" - Mike John's latest spermathon. Both movies are truly wonderful.

TWT9 is an aberration. I usually hate Sal Genoa movies, but this one rises WAY above his usual fare. 8.5 out of 10.0 on the Cumwhipper scale.

SR2 has a great cast, and the series is developing its own personality - combines the best elements of "Throat Gaggers, "No Cum Dodging Allowed", and "Good Source of Iron" - and this is a VERY good thing. 9.0 out of 10.0 on the Cumwhipper scale

HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Sep 4 2010 : 2:43PM
It's only been years. Maybe you should bring this back?
 
Cumwhipper
Senior Member

4050 Posts
3/04
Posted - Sep 4 2010 : 10:26PM
Not a bad idea. I'm nowhere near as diligent as you are, HeyNow, but I definitely still have strong opinions about many of the DVDs I rent and buy.



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