Dear Jenna Haze ...

Author	Post
hominid_66 Member 329 Posts 6/06	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 12:25PM Hi Jenna, First of all, thanks in advance for taking the time to read this note. It’s great to be able to communicate with you in such a direct fashion. I discovered recently that you will be feature dancing late next month at a local club here in Rockland County, New York. That’s great news – I really look forward to seeing you there. I was wondering, though, if I could ask a small favor of you. Would you be willing … um, do you think you could perhaps see your way clear to … well, how can I put this … hm, might as well come right out and say it: Would you be willing to bang me silly when you’re in town? I hope that doesn’t sound too forward of me. But here’s the thing. Lately I’ve been facing the realization that I’m not as young as I used to be, and it’s starting to bring me down a little. Life just doesn’t have the zest it used to. My job – though still reasonably interesting – doesn’t give me the same buzz that it once did. I can’t play hoops quite as long as I did in my 20s. I’m a little creakier in the mornings, and my left knee is barking. I can tell I’m a little past my prime and it’s frankly a little depressing. I need something to lift my spirits, to put the spring back into my step. And that’s where you come in! I mean, it’s just so obvious, isn’t it? If I were to have sex with you, I just think I would feel better about stuff and the world would seem like a warmer, fuzzier place. I could put my worries about Iraq and the stock market aside, and life would be more fulfilling overall. “But Hominid,” I hear you say in your adorable little-girl voice, “There are probably 158,412,396 guys who want to have sex with me - give or take a couple million. I can’t screw every guy who’d like me to – I’d have no time left for sleeping or eating or finding that cure for cancer I’m working on. If I were to make an exception for you, I’d have to fuck practically every male in America! And more than a few females as well.” OK, fair point. But here’s the way I see it. Since it’s obviously unrealistic for you to bless all of these people with your beauty and carnal skills, I will simply act as a representative of your fan base in general, and that way you can kill many birds with one stone. Think of me as a kind of surrogate – the solitary hero representing the many. I promise I will take the burden of my responsibilities very seriously. There is another reason why I think you should grant me this favor: because it’s the right thing to do, that’s why. History is full of great men and women who, after attaining the heights of business success, celebrity or political power, put personal goals aside to help their fellow man. The Rockefellers stocked art museums. Bill Gates is battling malaria in Africa. And you, Jenna, can help turn the life of one man – me – around, simply by doing what you do best. The altruism of such an act would be inspiring for one and all. Heck, not even Mother Theresa went as far as having sex with the people she helped. (Thank God.) And speaking of God … you know that last scene in “Jenna Haze: Darkside,” the one where you boned that priest every which way but loose? Have you ever thought about how The Big Guy Upstairs might feel about that? I mean, I’m sure He’s a big fan and all, and probably wouldn’t mind having a fling with his finest creation (that would be you) Himself, but still … that scene could maybe have been interpreted as a little disrespectful, don’t you think? But, on the other hand, if He saw that you were using your gifts to improve the life of a fellow human (that would be me), He might be willing to overlook your disrespect and show you a little love (platonically speaking) on Judgment Day. Have you ever thought about that? (Please don’t get the impression that I’m trying to coerce or frighten you into sleeping with me. I’m just sayin’, you know?) So, sweetie, what do you think? Can we get this done when you’re in town? I’m not sure what size posse you’re rolling with these days, but I can give them some suggestions for places to hang out in the afternoon while you and I slip over to my place. We’ll listen to some tunes, I’ll hook you up with some great weed, and then you can have your way with me. I’m pretty much up for anything you’re into, by the way. Snorkeling mask? Sandpaper? Trapeze? You say the word, and I’ll head on over to Home Depot or Caldor’s and pick it up. Anyway, please think about it. (And if your answer is no, could you please pass this note on to Sasha Grey the next time you see her?) Thanks, Hominid [Link]
McCutcheon Member "I guess you could say it's extremely vulgar; I like it a lot." 161 Posts 11/06	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 12:41PM In the immortal words of Junior Soprano: "And I'd like to fuck Angie Dickinson." [Link]
Gentleman Jon All-Star Member 1881 Posts 6/05	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 12:50PM [Link]
MissJennaHaze Member 401 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:08PM hominid_66 wrote: Would you be willing to bang me silly when you’re in town? Click to expand Actually I'm sorry, That is so NOT possible... I have a boyfriend (Jules Jordan) that I am very much in love with. Outside of work we are monogamous. I do NOT hook, escort or do privates & never have. Jenna [Link]
ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:11PM Is this guy for real? lol [Link]

Schmse Senior Member I'm not here, this isn't happening! 2571 Posts 6/04	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:19PM MissJennaHaze wrote: hominid_66 wrote: Would you be willing to bang me silly when you’re in town? Click to expand Actually I'm sorry, That is so NOT possible... I have a boyfriend (Jules Jordan) that I am very much in love with. Outside of work we are monogamous. I do NOT hook, escort or do privates & never have. Jenna Click to expand Hi Miss Jenna Haze, you were one of the first actresses I noticed in porn. Congratulations to he newest Manuel Ferrara flick. With every movie you look hotter. Can you please inform us about what you are planning in the future? What are you doing now? Which scenes will come out the next months? To me, you are the most beautiful woman doing porn right now. Best wishes. PS: I thought Jules Jordan's girlfriend is/was Charmane Star. Can so. please enlighten me? [Link]
Luvvy Duvvy Deactivated User 228 Posts 5/04	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:21PM MissJennaHaze wrote: hominid_66 wrote: Would you be willing to bang me silly when you’re in town? Click to expand Actually I'm sorry, That is so NOT possible... I have a boyfriend (Jules Jordan) that I am very much in love with. Outside of work we are monogamous. I do NOT hook, escort or do privates & never have. Jenna Click to expand Will you NOT have sex with me? [Link]
ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:24PM Jules girlfriend Charmane Star? Where did you hear that one from man? lol Jules and Jenna have been a couple for awhile now, well over a year and they're very happy together. Two very talented people who are considered among the best at what they do....they are the "Power Couple" of Porn. [Link]
hominid_66 Member 329 Posts 6/06	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:32PM Wow, I thought it would be pretty clear that this was a put on, but I see that not everyone was sure - including, most disturbingly, Jenna herself. People, the post was a joke! Jenna, I apologize for making you feel like you had to clarify the fact that you don't escort. I truly doubt anyone here thought otherwise; certainly I didn't, and yes, I'm aware of your relationship with JJ. I was just trying to make people (you most of all!) laugh, and of course I meant no disrespect. Damn, now I feel bad. [Link]
Luvvy Duvvy Deactivated User 228 Posts 5/04	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:43PM People, the post was a joke! Click to expand About as funny as stepping on a land mine. [Link]
noahped Senior Member 2978 Posts 8/02	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:51PM Hey I could see it was all a joke!! I got the funny! I used that type of sense of humor before and most girls don't catch the sarcasticness of it, Jenna included lol. But I think it is because about 5% of that kind of joke you're secretly hoping that the dream actually becomes reality...that's the inherent problem with it. Oh, and call me Jenna!! Let's work on your website...and but seriously what we did talk about before when you were in NC was all truthful on my part, and still is unfortunately! [Link]
noahped Senior Member 2978 Posts 8/02	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 1:53PM Luvvy Duvvy wrote: People, the post was a joke! Click to expand About as funny as stepping on a land mine. Click to expand Yep, been there done that... I have a blackbelt in lame. Edited by - noahped on 8/7/2007 1:54:23 PM [Link]
Gentleman Jon All-Star Member 1881 Posts 6/05	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 2:00PM I got the joke. But you have to read past the fourth paragraph to get that it is a joke. People ask her that seriously all the time, can you blame her for giving you her stock answer as soon as she got to the point where you asked the question? It was a nice piece of writing, but it didn't become completely clear that it was meant to be humorous and not taken seriously until halfway through. The first few paragraphs are quite believable. So many people in a hurry will just read a few paragraphs, think that it actually is another one of those posts, and go on to the next thread. This thread might have a better life in Story Time or WN&N. [Link]
McCutcheon Member "I guess you could say it's extremely vulgar; I like it a lot." 161 Posts 11/06	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 2:20PM I thought it was a joke too but I also suspect that deep in is heart or mind hominid_66 was thinking..."Maybe...just maybe." [Link]
McCutcheon Member "I guess you could say it's extremely vulgar; I like it a lot." 161 Posts 11/06	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 2:28PM MissJennaHaze wrote: Actually I'm sorry, That is so NOT possible... I have a boyfriend (Jules Jordan) that I am very much in love with. Outside of work we are monogamous. I do NOT hook, escort or do privates & never have. Jenna Click to expand But if Bill Gates called you tomorrow and offered you, say, five million dollars to have sex with you and film it, would you still say no? [Link]

ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 2:38PM Guys let's give it a rest. Jenna is really in love with her boyfriend, and she probably doesn't appreciate all these proposals/offers, which might make her feel offended. We like Jenna posting on ADT, so let's keep it that way. [Link]
McCutcheon Member "I guess you could say it's extremely vulgar; I like it a lot." 161 Posts 11/06	Posted - Aug 7 2007 : 2:48PM ArinsystmaticX wrote: Guys let's give it a rest. Jenna is really in love with her boyfriend, and she probably doesn't appreciate all these proposals/offers, which might make her feel offended. We like Jenna posting on ADT, so let's keep it that way. Click to expand We can certainly give it a rest. This is sort of an obvious subject and is like . However, there is no possible reason for Jenna to be offended. hominid_66 was just joking but he is undoubtedly a fan of Jenna's and was also expressing that. I was just pointing out that I suspect every pornstar probably has her price (and a lot of non-pornstars would gladly take Gates or anyone up on a 5 mil. offer) and I wouldn't look down on Jenna or any other person in her profession for saying yes to such an offer. [Link]
pis228 Member The Elusive Southern California Spearmint Rhino 88 Posts 6/07	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 12:54AM I knew it was joke and thought it rated pretty close to professionally funny. You know like it may have been a better piece of writing than I've seen in any comedy for a long time... However, in regard to this little word "altruism" I don't think it could be considered true altruism if she feels better about helping mankind by "helping" you out. Neither do I think it is true altruism if she gets a break for doing the "Priest Scene" from some potentially existent omnipotent being by doing the same. But, in fairness my critique of your use of altruism is contingent upon my social psych professor's use of a legitimate definition of altruism. Still, "sandpaper shows real dedication on your part. [Link]
Tom Choad Member Mug shot performance artist 209 Posts 8/05	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 9:24AM Not cool. I would've asked for a lap dance instead... Edited by - tom choad on 8/8/2007 9:24:28 AM [Link]
ipop Senior Member 1115 Posts 1/06	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 9:52AM You gotta give the guy an A for effort. Hominid--bring plenty of 20's to the club and let us know how the lap dances are. [Link]
Everett Senior Member 2088 Posts 6/05	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 11:14AM sounds like Hominid is putting his number in early (based on the longetivity of porn relationships). There's an old saying when a guy likes a girl and she's not available and it goes something like this: "Im showing some care &^ attention CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW". simply means or states that when everything falls apart for a gal(if it does) the guy'll be there to pick up the pieces. At least that's what he's hoping. [Link]
ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 12:52PM Poor guy, probably regretting writing that now. [Link]
jackthetreacleeater Senior Member Shame on you! 2003 Posts 10/06	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 12:56PM It's a good piss take really, which had clearly gone over a few people's heads. Nothing says romance like anal sex. [Link]
ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 1:27PM Well scroll up, not mine. In Jenna's defense though, it's crazy how often Jenna gets people asking if she escorts, and how often Jenna has said she'll never escort, in so many places. It probably pissed her off before she even read the whole thing. [Link]
MissJennaHaze Member 401 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 1:54PM Sorry guys.. You are right, I didn't read it all.. so I didn't realize it was a joke until I went back and read the whole thing.. [Link]

ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 2:29PM No worries, I believe this is the third time you've been asked for this in different places? lol [Link]
KaylanNicole_fan Member 542 Posts 2/06	Posted - Aug 8 2007 : 3:54PM hominid_66 wrote: Wow, I thought it would be pretty clear that this was a put on, but I see that not everyone was sure - including, most disturbingly, Jenna herself. People, the post was a joke! Jenna, I apologize for making you feel like you had to clarify the fact that you don't escort. I truly doubt anyone here thought otherwise; certainly I didn't, and yes, I'm aware of your relationship with JJ. I was just trying to make people (you most of all!) laugh, and of course I meant no disrespect. Damn, now I feel bad. Click to expand Hey hominid, don't worry about your post dude! I think it was cool. And even if I wasn't totally sure at first if this was serious or not, you should know that I was laughing about it. I mean with these pretty girls doing porn nowadays everything is possible! Besides this fact, your post totally describes how some of the porn fans maybe feel or think about their favourite star. And since your request was so nicely written, Miss Jenna Haze should actually be thankful to have fans like you. Maybe there are porn stars out there who feel even honored from posts like that one and take it in good humor. So you shouldn't feel bad at all! KNF [Link]
tricia_devereaux Evil Angel DVD Patience is a virtue, but who wants to be virtuous? 4283 Posts 4/00	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 1:00AM McCutcheon wrote: MissJennaHaze wrote: ... I do NOT hook, escort or do privates & never have. Click to expand But if Bill Gates called you tomorrow and offered you, say, five million dollars to have sex with you and film it, would you still say no? Click to expand Well, if it's on camera, it's technically not hooking. right? ;) ArinX- you are a very lucky man to have appointed Jenna's personal internet bodyguard. But believe me, that girl can take care of herself just fine. Hominid- some people obviously have no sense of humour. I know that Jenna didn't read it all the first time, and I don't blame her for stopping reading after the second paragraph. I think your post was written VERY funny. oh well... [Link]
ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 1:38AM Woah, I can't say anything against Tricia.....she's too powerful in the industry :( lol. Edited by - ArinsystmaticX on 8/10/2007 1:24:30 AM [Link]
Corben99 Member Deep South Texas 146 Posts 11/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 4:18AM MissJennaHaze wrote: hominid_66 wrote: Would you be willing to bang me silly when you’re in town? Click to expand Actually I'm sorry, That is so NOT possible... I have a boyfriend (Jules Jordan) that I am very much in love with. Outside of work we are monogamous. I do NOT hook, escort or do privates & never have. Jenna Click to expand Jenna are you still working for FOX Magazine? I let my subscription run out. But if you're still there, I'll resubscribe. Oh, and Darkside was SPECTACULAR. Please make a part 2 to that movie. Great work. Now all you need to do is have a 3 some with Jules, You, and Sasha Grey, and that would ROCK!!!! Make it a Flesh Hunter Episode or something. [Link]
jackthetreacleeater Senior Member Shame on you! 2003 Posts 10/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 7:30AM I don't think Hominid needed to apologise at all. It's not his fault some people can't be arsed to read posts in their entirity and others don't have a sense of humour. I just love Tricia. Along with Jewel De'nyle and Kylie Ireland they're the only female ponrstars who really speak their minds and say what everyone else is thinking. Lets be honest a lot of girls who post on here are quite frankly attention seeking and a bit primadonnaish. And yes having sex on camera for money is whoring yourself, not matter which way you cut it. None of this is a dig at Jenna in a professional way, I think she's a great pornstar, particularly when it comes to anal and oral, and she's one of the most stunningly attractive women in porn. But she does need to read posts fully before passing comment ; ) Nothing says romance like anal sex. [Link]
purplehayes2006 Member 391 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 9:35AM Jenna Haze >>> 24 posts since April 2006. Thats the way to be an "attention seeker" on this board lol Dude, I hope you don't think that Jenna is not honest in her opinions... because if you do, just let me tell you something: you are wrong. Very much. "And yes having sex on camera for money is whoring yourself, not matter which way you cut it." It can have many ways that people consider "whoring yourself", like working for money doing something that you don't really like; which is not the case of Jenna, for example. But if for whoring yourself and having sex on camera for money, you are relating this with prostitution, then I'm going to send you to this thread. Anyhow, it is something that has been discussed ad nauseum. Well... just one more thing... nice pic of Rebeca :-) Edited by - purplehayes2006 on 8/9/2007 9:35:47 AM [Link]
jackthetreacleeater Senior Member Shame on you! 2003 Posts 10/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 10:35AM I love the fact I'm being lectured on the forum by someone who has 1/5th the amount of posts that I do! I didn't say Jenna was a primadonna did I, I just said some girls who post on here are, and others can act a bit "precious." And I really don't need to trawl through another thread to understand what whoring is. I only need a dictionary for that. Having sex for money = whoring. And that goes equally for the men as well as the girls. Don't confuse my statement with me implying there's anything wrong with that. It's the worlds oldest profession after all and I am a porn fan. I just believe in calling a spade a spade that's all. Nothing says romance like anal sex. [Link]
ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 10:54AM heyy cut it out kids! [Link]
purplehayes2006 Member 391 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 10:55AM smg4ever, I post few... but I read alot. Your "whoring" statement... I never thought that you think that there is anything wrong in whoring. But your position of "I have an opinion and I DON'T need to read about it"... well, talks by itself. And let me tell you that your equation is wrong. You've missed elements. But well, no matter what I say to you, I see it is a waste of time to you and me. And about Jenna, I just was clarifying, I didn't say that you think she is a primadonna, did I? Edited by - purplehayes2006 on 8/9/2007 10:56:40 AM [Link]

ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 11:10AM smg4ever, who cares? Most girls in the industry call themselves whores anyway. They make sure the other person is clean, so they stay safe, and that's all that matters. Jenna is more professional then most people with regular jobs I know, and she takes her job seriously. It shows in her work, and I admire her for being so consistently good all these years. [Link]
Gentleman Jon All-Star Member 1881 Posts 6/05	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 12:29PM One thing that always irritates me is when people have no respect for others who don't have as much time to spend on ADT as they do. I can remember a year or two ago there was a thread in WN&N with a link to a Loooong article. Someone posted that it was too long to read, and some Europeans tried to turn that into some kind of illustration on the American character, or something. I about blew a gasket. Hello, non-industry people are here on what is presumably their free time. Every minute they are on the ADT forums is a minute they aren't doing something else with their free time. If a person completely read every article that gets linked to from this forum in a day, they'd be here all day. Anyway, that top post was a nice piece of writing, but I almost didn't read it myself. I've seen before how often she gets asked if she escorts, on her Yahoo group, etc., and when I saw that second paragraph, I thought it was going to be just another one of those messages, albeit an unusually long one. But I did go ahead and read all of it, and I'm glad I did. But it started out so believably like a lot of serious inquiries she gets, it's perfectly understandable that she and others didn't read past the second paragraph. There are a lot of times that I'll click on a new thread with a long first post, read enough of it to tell that I don't like the direction it's headed, and I'll just go onto the next thread. [Link]
purplehayes2006 Member 391 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 1:15PM Oh well, I don't blame anyone to don't read the WHOLE thread I linked to. I think I did well putting the link because it is about a theme VERY discussed in the past and there is no need to go over it again. It is the attitude "I DON'T need to read about it" what I don't get it. And after all, I am the one who just have the 1/5 amount of posts that he does. "There are a lot of times that I'll click on a new thread with a long first post, read enough of it to tell that I don't like the direction it's headed, and I'll just go onto the next thread." I do the same. [Link]
The Sentinel Member 42 Posts 7/07	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 3:59PM Thank you so much ! Forums are made for this kind of delirium, just another perfect one right here ! and the size is just perfect, everyone imagines writing something to is fave pornstar, and Hominid did it for you all. Now Hominid - poor guy - put some more spice in yr life. JH Darkside was a must to me - I agree - and last scene is a very good one (but I would prefer the Maid one). There's plenty other girls to catch with - and crazy stuff to experience. Life's just Great - don't you think ? Take care All here and keep on posting fantasy stuff. Another JH Fan [Link]
MissJennaHaze Member 401 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 5:15PM Whoa! Yea I didn't read it all the way through .. I sort of jumped on the defensive... I get offers daily and it just irrates me that guys think I can be bought and that they can HAVE me for the right price.. Didn't mean to cause any drama.. damn.... Edited by - MissJennaHaze on 8/9/2007 5:16:00 PM [Link]
barrybrn Senior Member 1568 Posts 9/03	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 6:18PM I caught that it was a joke right away. But, sometimes things are harder to read via a message board or even for an email compared to in person. I know I have made jokes that were taken the wrong way in an email but the person would of got it if we were in person. [Link]
tricia_devereaux Evil Angel DVD Patience is a virtue, but who wants to be virtuous? 4283 Posts 4/00	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 6:23PM Jenna - I think if there's one thing that everyone in this thread agrees on, it's that we all love you. And that you're extremely hot. And extremely professional in how you've handled your career. ok everyone, nothing to see here. We all love Jenna. MUAH [Link]
purplehayes2006 Member 391 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 9 2007 : 7:02PM MissJennaHaze wrote: Whoa! Yea I didn't read it all the way through .. I sort of jumped on the defensive... I get offers daily and it just irrates me that guys think I can be bought and that they can HAVE me for the right price.. Didn't mean to cause any drama.. damn.... Edited by - MissJennaHaze on 8/9/2007 5:16:00 PM Click to expand No worries Jen, no drama here. Besides, it is not your fault in any case. Every one that read what are you saying here understand your defensive reply as soon as you saw the "question" at the beginning of that long text. Oh.... I totally agree with Tricia. :-) [Link]
ArinsystmaticX Deactivated User 1968 Posts 12/05	Posted - Aug 10 2007 : 12:50AM TOtally agree with Tricia!! ADT loves Jenna. [Link]
hominid_66 Member 329 Posts 6/06	Posted - Aug 11 2007 : 2:21PM Well, now, that got a little out of hand, didn’t it? Now that things have calmed down, a couple of final explanations/observations, if I may: 1) I really thought it would be dead obvious from the beginning that the post was a joke. I don’t know about most of you, but my feeling is that if a guy is trying to convince a woman to sleep with him he is unlikely to ask her to "bang me silly." I figured that the bizarreness of this approach would be the tip off. Shows what I know. What I obviously didn’t understand is that Jenna apparently gets asked this all the time, and frequently, it seems, in about as inelegant a manner. Clearly, I have a lot to learn about the downside of being a porn star. (Hey, possible movie idea: "Jenna Haze: Downside"!) 2) The motivation for this piece of guerilla journalism was simply to entertain the ADT audience and also to honor and amuse Jenna. It certainly did not feel good that she at first misinterpreted my post, but I’m glad she understands now what my true intentions were. Again, Jenna, my apologies for any discomfort this episode may have created for you. I wanted to amuse you, not offend you. 3) It was fascinating to me that the whole question of escorting/hooking came up at all, since the character in the post says nothing about money or paying for anything. That is so NOT what he is about. Basically, he is just an earnest fan trying out various, progressively more ridiculous strategies to convince Jenna to sleep with him out of the goodness of her heart. (Note to pis228: Your comments about my use of the word "altruism" are well taken.) However clueless and unrealistic he may be, he is not treating Jenna as a piece of meat – rather, he is trying (at least in his own mind) to connect with her psyche. He may be a deluded doofus, but at least he is being respectful, understands that she has a brain, and is trying to connect with it. 4) The character is not me, he is a character. (Jesus, why do I have to explain all of this?!) I was amused that even people who got the joke were speculating as to my “true” motives for writing the piece. Let me say now for the record that if I was really trying to woo Jenna, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t ask her to pass my note on to Sasha Grey when she was done with it. (But if you do, Jenna, would you please cross out your name and write in Sasha’s beforehand? Thanks.) Look, I’ve given this some thought. Let’s say I were to actually seduce Jenna. Then what would happen? She’d drop everything to move out East to be with me, and her career would go into the toilet. Not only that, poor Jules would fall into a deep depression and would stop making great films. So we’d lose two of porn’s greatest icons at the drop of a hat. And for what? Just so I could pursue my selfish desires? I can’t do that to everyone. So: I do still plan on trying to see Jenna’s performance at my local club, but I hereby promise that I will never have sex with her, no matter how much money she offers me. Sincerely, Hominid [Link]
pis228 Member The Elusive Southern California Spearmint Rhino 88 Posts 6/07	Posted - Aug 11 2007 : 3:41PM "The character is not me, he is a character. (Jesus, why do I have to explain all of this?!) I was amused that even people who got the joke were speculating as to my “true” motives for writing the piece." Comedy should never be EXPLAINED, since at that point it is no longer comedy. However some extremely offensive (Because offense is sometimes necessary to make a social comment-see Lenny Bruce.) comedy may need to be apologized for e.g. "Kramer's 'act' at the Laugh Factory". One thing we have learned about Mr. H is that he has great taste in women Also, my comment about "altruism", in truth, is actually part of a lecture given by a social psychology professor. I was just excited to see the word "altruism" used on a porn board. [Link]
MissJennaHaze Member 401 Posts 4/06	Posted - Aug 11 2007 : 6:51PM Once I read the whole thing it was very funny and silly.... You just had to get past the first part.... I appreciate you making me laugh! :-) [Link]
Savoy All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06	Posted - Aug 11 2007 : 6:52PM hominid_66 wrote: I’m pretty much up for anything you’re into, by the way. Snorkeling mask? Sandpaper? Trapeze? You say the word, and I’ll head on over to Home Depot or Caldor’s and pick it up. Click to expand Home Depot...hehehe Your post was far too well-written for you to be a half-tarded drooling fanboy. Correct use of punctuation and spacing also! I loved your letter, too. It was just too much black. People skim-read like crazy here. In fact, I skimmed through half of this thread so if I'm repeating someone else - ahh - tough shit! [:P)] [Link]
Johnothan Pedak Senior Member Catastrophe 1594 Posts 6/07	Posted - Aug 12 2007 : 12:32AM Wait a minute. This was joke? I wish I'd known that before I crafted my twenty page plea to Jenna. Sigh... [Link]
pis228 Member The Elusive Southern California Spearmint Rhino 88 Posts 6/07	Posted - Aug 12 2007 : 5:31PM BTW Miss Haze, You never let me down... Edited by - pis228 on 8/12/2007 9:52:23 PM [Link]