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| Tobias Deactivated User 475 Posts 1/09 |  Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 1:53PMI recently rented a DVD from a company which shall remain nameless. I ripped open the packaging, ready to pop the disc in the player only to be appalled by what I found. Beneath the clear sleave holding the DVD, a large smudge of sticky goo was smeared across one side of the disc. But, that wasn't the worst part. Like a cherry topping an ice cream sundae, smack in the middle of the goo was a curly little hair. Needless to say, any anticipation I had of watching the movie quickly diminished. For a solid ten minutes, I stared at the disc, wondering how exactly to approach the situation. Throw it back in the mail and pass off the disgusting mess on the next unsuspecting soul? Attempt to play the disc as is, only to potentially clog my DVD player with God only knows what DNA laden material covered it? Neither option seemed like the right thing to do. I thought of cleaning the disc only to encounter a whole other set of questions. Is it possible to contract swine flu from a compact disc? Why don't I own HazMat gear? By cleaning the disc wouldn't I essentially be rewarding bad behavior? What would Mark Davis do in this situation? Has anyone else had a similar experience and if so how did you handle it? [Link] |
| Ivar Member 54 Posts 7/08 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 3:41PM [Link] |
Savoy  All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 4:37PM Like the chick in "Good Dick", we should all handle our porn rentals with ziploc bags on our hands. [Link] |
| Dr. Nasty Senior Member Asa Akira.....Damn! 3797 Posts 9/05 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 4:42PM LMFAO!*****The Dr. of Nasty***** [Link] |
| Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 5:25PM [Link] |
| hominid_66 Member 329 Posts 6/06 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 5:27PM [Link] |
| picman Senior Member Nothing says I love you so much as a tongue in the ass. 2884 Posts 1/03 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 5:34PM [Link] |
| HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 9:17PM !Yeah! To Tobias, you were supposed to lick it off and smile for the camera. It's porn. Sheesh. You have to quietly out the company - as it rhymes with FlexNix or BoogerDVD. Clear sleeve might mean a clue! I never look at the back of the DVD. I really should have gloves for this though. But to put gloves on and off while switching between dics? Nah, not for me. [Link] |
| stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 10:00PM Fucked it up lol. "Horton Hears a Who." Edited by - stinkfist on 10/23/2009 10:02:47 PM [Link] |
| Tobias Deactivated User 475 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 10:47PM Here is the text of the e-mail I sent to the company: To Whom It May Concern / Disc Cleansing Personnel: I have been a loyal customer for quite some time now. Unfortunately, I have noted a recent sharp decline in the sanitation of your rental discs and rental sleeves. Specifically, it appears that some of your customers have taken to depositing more than just discs in the sleeves upon return to your facility. The precise composition of such liquid deposits is, of course, uncertain. Given that you rent only adult material, however, I don't think it's a huge leap in logic to assume that said liquids are also, to put it politely, "adult material." Now, I do not want to tell you how to do your business nor do I think myself an overly anal person - despite my occassional rental of movies in this category. I simply find it unnerving that not only must I clean up a small mess after viewing a title, but now all too often I must also clean up a small mess prior to viewing it. This leaves me doing more cleaning and less enjoying. And, well, if I wanted that then I'd still be married now wouldn't I? But I digress. If you do not already have these, perhaps investment in industrial grade autoclaves or dishwashers would make sense. With a little effort, what is now a negative could perhaps be turned into a positive. Imagine your competitors' disdain when you were able to advertise "rental titles so clean you can eat off of them!" So, in summation, I would say good porn is dirty, but need it be quite so dirty? Sincerely, Your Loyal Customer [Link] |
| stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07 | Posted - Oct 23 2009 : 10:52PM and you had to crack them over your knee to open the pages..  [Link] |
| RandomPrecision Senior Member Enjoy! 8175 Posts 3/06 | Posted - Oct 24 2009 : 12:52AM [Link] |
| HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03 | Posted - Oct 24 2009 : 2:19AM Nicely done, guy![Link] |
| ChodeMasterJ Perpetual Marxist 5405 Posts 4/03 | Posted - Oct 24 2009 : 5:07AM [Link] |
| Johnothan Pedak Senior Member Catastrophe 1594 Posts 6/07 | Posted - Oct 24 2009 : 6:43AM Love is nothing but lust misspelled. [Link] |
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| BigBobxxx Senior Member 2681 Posts 5/04 | Posted - Oct 24 2009 : 2:39PM Then, return it with a note concerning how I had received it! If it was a VHS, I'd never put it into a machine of mine, period. (Particularly now, as VHS has pretty-much dead-ended, and keeping your VHS machines in operating condition matters as they will not be easily replaced). [Link] |
| The DMan Senior Member 1844 Posts 6/07 | Posted - Oct 24 2009 : 2:48PM Edited by - The DMan on 10/24/2009 2:50:20 PM [Link] |
| Girlyman Deactivated User 29 Posts 10/06 | Posted - Oct 25 2009 : 3:30PM Edited by - girlyman on 10/25/2009 3:32:16 PM [Link] |
| fu_q All-Star Member Marv Montag (@PornOfYore) 2506 Posts 2/09 | Posted - Oct 25 2009 : 6:00PM I did get a little "attached" to that one--if you know what I mean...
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| budtugley Senior Member One man's trash can be the next man's treasure. 1187 Posts 1/04 | Posted - Oct 26 2009 : 6:06PM [Link] |
| fu_q All-Star Member Marv Montag (@PornOfYore) 2506 Posts 2/09 | Posted - Oct 26 2009 : 6:41PM Didn't mean to take away from the gravity of the situation ... Edited by - fu_q on 10/26/2009 6:44:06 PM [Link] |
| junglew Senior Member 1042 Posts 12/02 | Posted - Oct 26 2009 : 7:07PM Wayne In Dallas [Link] |
| warrenwest67 Member Thanks for the mammaries. 966 Posts 1/07 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 1:40PM "Billy Mays here for the amazing "DVD Condom...." "Are you tired of catching diseases from your rented porn? DVD's are disgusting harbors of filth, and Im not talking about the content. The DVD Condom is for you." "Act now and receive as a free gift, a roll of the magic self stick "TV Screen prophylactic film". You put it across your screen just before those Explosive events that occur towards the end of most Porn DVD's. Then simply peal it off the screen before the wife or your mom gets home. Its just that simple!"  [Link] |
| Tobias Deactivated User 475 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 2:56PM "A review of the rental disc in question indicates no abnormalities or defects which would prevent proper viewing. Furthermore, _____(Name of Company)_____ membership does not guarantee availability or cleanliness of our extensive library of rental discs. Company policy is that availability and cleanliness are the responsibility of individual renters to timely return their rental discs in a condition suitable for re-rental. Based upon the concerns you have raised, your membership has been canceled and you have been issued a refund for the balance of your October membership fee. In the future, please do not attempt to tell us how to conduct our business." And here is my quick reply: To Whom It May Concern: Oh, so now you're breaking up with me? Well reality is that you weren't very good anyway. At the start, sure. But then you really let yourself go in a big way. So, it's not really like you're cancelling me - Because I've had enough of you. And no, I won't be telling you how to conduct your business anymore. In fact, the sound of the phone not a ringin' will be the sound of me not a callin' Your Ex-Customer [Link] |
| BigBobxxx Senior Member 2681 Posts 5/04 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 3:06PM (Somebody had to say it) [Link] |
| BigBobxxx Senior Member 2681 Posts 5/04 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 3:16PM I'd really like to know the identity of the rental outfit that sent you that note! I bet I'm not the only one. What an obnoxious bunch of clueless fucks  IMHO, as long as you have saved your e-mail exchanges with them (be sure to also print-out hard copies, just in case), there is no way they can deny they ever said it (i.e. come after you). [Link] |
| ninja1 Senior Member 2939 Posts 1/08 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 3:43PM But I am surprised the company doesn't inspect or clean their returned discs, using what is essentially an honor system, like the "please be kind and rewind" stickers from the VHS days. So perhaps they should make up some new ones, such as: "Don't be a bum, clean up your cum" or "Don't be rude, wipe the lube" [Link] |
| fu_q All-Star Member Marv Montag (@PornOfYore) 2506 Posts 2/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 5:20PM [Link] |
| fu_q All-Star Member Marv Montag (@PornOfYore) 2506 Posts 2/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 5:21PM
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| Tobias Deactivated User 475 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 6:03PM [Link] |
| solidsnake Member Dying To Live 266 Posts 10/07 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 6:25PM [Link] |
| ninja1 Senior Member 2939 Posts 1/08 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 7:45PM [Link] |
| fu_q All-Star Member Marv Montag (@PornOfYore) 2506 Posts 2/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 7:53PM [Link] |
| HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 9:13PM Wow. I'm surprised! You have to out the company now! Please. For the sake of the rest of us! I will say this though, if you don't want cum don't go to a hotel, motel, car dealership or fast food restaurant. [Link] |
| Tobias Deactivated User 475 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 10:02PM [Link] |
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| Harri Patel Senior Member #SDNY he's all yours. -- Michael Steele 5110 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 10:22PM [Link] |
| fu_q All-Star Member Marv Montag (@PornOfYore) 2506 Posts 2/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 10:23PM Given the state of free porn on the internet, the economic downturn, etc., every customer should count for them. Granted, I don't know which company this is...but they risk getting a bad name by doing this to you--which could snowball into losing more customers. If they're not the biggest, I'm not sure that it wouldn't hurt them. This is particularly true if they have this type of attitude, in general. Imagine this happening to five customers a month. Then imagine the bad reputation that they could get if those five customers each month go out and tell hundreds of other customers via the internet message boards, etc. If you gave us the name of the company, I can say that I wouldn't rent from them...and I'm sure that there are plenty of others here who wouldn't, either... Not so much b/c of the jizz / lube / pube / whatever...but b/c they are a shitty company to do business with.
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| Tobias Deactivated User 475 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 11:08PM [Link] |
| texanbob Deactivated User 727 Posts 6/04 | Posted - Oct 27 2009 : 11:33PM I agree, why would you not name a company that has shafted you & cancelled your account. What wankers sending that email back, it is their responsibility for making sure their product is satisfactory to hire out, not the previous customers. Name them & we'll shame them !! [Link] |
| jazzyfae728 Member 75 Posts 4/09 | Posted - Oct 28 2009 : 9:24PM anyway, i've noticed what that one guy (bad with names) said- although your letter to them was hilarious and true, people who sell porn have no sense of humor. being "nicer" about it will get you free stuff. with a second untrelated company, they would intentionally send me the wrong dvd, but usually one i liked anyway, so eventually it was one i hated and i was drunk and angry and wrote how it was a shitty jesse jane movie i didnt want and this was a problem. no response, no dvd i was supposed to get. the other time i contacted them sober/"politely" they simply shipped the dvd i was supposed to have and did not ask me to send the other back, as they had been doing it intentionally and it was quite obvious. can you tell in private messages? i'm really curious to know, because i don't want to do business with them and hope i haven't already. [Link] |
| Tobias Deactivated User 475 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 1:49AM [Link] |
| BigBobxxx Senior Member 2681 Posts 5/04 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 10:14AM [Link] |
| Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 10:41AM I want to know which company it is, and I sure don't want to rent gooey materials from them. In fact, the chances of getting the exact same disc, goo intact, are slim, no? And you wouldn't be the previous renter - one of us would be (theoretically).[Link] |
| fu_q All-Star Member Marv Montag (@PornOfYore) 2506 Posts 2/09 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 11:28AMIt could be a conspiracy of global proportions.How can we do this if we don't know which company is supplying the dirty porn? PS--I'm about half a step from calling b.s. on this whole story... I have always been suspicious.
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| texanbob Deactivated User 727 Posts 6/04 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 12:15PM [Link] |
| danl Member 436 Posts 3/05 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 1:33PM But NOW, after reading several of Tobias" follow-ups to various responses, I feel that there is a "fishy" smell here, and it AIN'T from the water! I have rented several thousand porn film over these many years---admittedly, none, by mail, because of credt card safety concerns---and have NEVER found even ONE with any discernible "foreign substance," other than a powerful "smokey" smell, accompanying a great many. This is especially confusing?? to the HUGE number of we smoke fetish porn patrons who constantly (and fruitlessy, I might add) search for filmed scenes of sexy, well-built women lighting up and smoking cigarettes, before, after and ESPECIALLY during the "sucking n fucking." So, to paraphrase an old hamburger commercial, Where's The Smoke?? and to Tobias, from Gomer Pyle, "Shame, Shame, Shame!" [Link] |
| warrenwest67 Member Thanks for the mammaries. 966 Posts 1/07 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 1:38PM [Link] |
| BigBobxxx Senior Member 2681 Posts 5/04 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 1:54PM BushDVD has always been first-rate in every regard. So, I rule them out. However, I'm thinking we were spunked (punked)  [Link] |
| ninja1 Senior Member 2939 Posts 1/08 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 3:10PM [Link] |
| Sheky666 Member 100 Posts 2/01 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 3:31PM Edited by - sheky666 on 10/29/2009 3:31:31 PM [Link] |
| stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07 | Posted - Oct 29 2009 : 3:43PM "Go ahead spunk, make my day" [Link] |
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