Welcome to the darkside....we have cookies. 598 Posts 11/03
Posted - Sep 23 2005 : 8:33PM
Below is a series of emails between me and what I thought was a fan who was honestly asking me for advice. It's a long but interesting read.
From: david kwong yin [mailto:dkwongyin@yahoo.co.uk] Sent: Wednesday, September 14, 2005 5:24 AM To: kylie@kylieireland.com Subject: Please don't ignore me_I need some advice from your part
Hello Kylie
I am a married man, but I spend my days thinking about sex fantasies involving other women (especially you!! ). I have been a member of your fantastic website for nearly 6 months now. Just recently, my wife caught me jerking off to your movies and she had a violent dispute with me and ordered me to stop my subscription to your website. I am having none of this though because I just can't help myself from masturbating to your incredible pictures and movies while my wife is asleep at night. The mere thought of you makes me so horny. Do you think there's anything wrong with a married man masturbating to porn movies? I just can't resist your incredible body and if my wife can't accept that, I won't hesitate to ask for a divorce. Please tell me I am right to fulfil my sexual fantasies and if my wife cannot accept that, then I should leave her. I would really appreciate a little support from a sex goddess like you. Please don't ignore this email. I am your biggest fan and am desperate to hear from you. I would be prepared to give my life for you.
Bobby
------------ My reply:
Bobby,
As you may or may not know I have an online radio show on www.ksexradio.com every Thursday at 9 pm pst. When I received your letter I read it on the air (name omitted of course) and we had an in-depth discussion about it. I had planned to answer via email but there are so many different angles to what is really going on here that it would be a very long email. I will be posting this show on my website the week of the 28th, since you are a member you will be able to listen to it and get a full range of my thoughts. As I said, it is way too deep of a subject to answer in just an email. Thanks,
Kylie Ireland www.kylieireland.com
---------- His reply to my email about reading the letter on the show:
Hi Kylie
Thank you so much for answering my email. This really shows that you truly care for all your fans out here. Unfortunately, I missed your show on ksexradio...I'm not really into ksexradio to be honest! To make matters worse, my bitch of a wife has cancelled my subscription to your website without me knowing. It might take me some time to get that subscription back. In the meantime, I would really appreciate if you could give that email a go. I know it's going to take a lot of your time, but I'm so desperate for an answer right now and an email from your part would really help before I eventually get my subscription back and have a look at the show. Please help me. My situation is really killing me. You really can't imagine how desperate I am right now.
Your biggest fan Bobby
---------
Because I care about my fans and was asked for help I wrote back with this:
I am not going to back you here and tell you your wife is being a bitch and you should leave her. I think that is wrong. Divorce is the cheap out and if you did that without looking at all your options and your feeling then I would tell you that you are being shallow and naïve.
I really cannot stress how many options there are to what is going on, and honestly it isn’t my place to be your therapist but the bottom line here is that the two of you aren’t communicating. There is a reason you like porn and it might be because you are not getting what you need out of the relationship. There is a reason she is upset and that could be because her needs are not fulfilled either. Notice the words could and might. I am not there and don’t know your situation. You need to talk. Bottom line, you both need to be honest about what you need, what your desires are and what you are feeling. Getting a divorce over a porn website is childish and only proves that there is a larger problem.
There is nothing wrong with porn and it can be a wonderful addition to a relationship. It is also a great form of safe sex. I am sure any woman would rather have their husband enjoy a little porn that to go out and cheat. Men are usually more visually stimulated than women. Women are more emotionally connected. Look at your marriage from her point of view. This problem is both of yours, it is not your fault nor just hers. It takes two to tango baby.
Many religious zealots claim porn destroys marriages, NOT TRUE. Lack of communication does and that is what you and your wife have. You are both harboring anger and seem to have fear of communicating. If you cannot sit down and talk – go to therapy. Go separately then after a few sessions go as a couple. Be honest with the therapist. Why not? What could it hurt? Men have some aversion to therapy and if you do too, get over it. A middle person who is outside the relationship will be able to help you to discuss things rationally and like adults. It will broaden your horizons, help you to be honest with yourself and each other and might actually save your marriage. If you suggest therapy it will show her you are open minded and willing to try to work it out. Perhaps, if it is a jealousy issue on her part you could learn to enjoy adult material together. Like I said, I can’t even speculate because I don’t know enough.
Go, talk to her. Tell her you love her and desire her and be honest with yourself and her. You married her because you loved her, you just need to rediscover and rekindle that love, desire and passion is what I am betting. By the way, I am not talking out my ass here – I was married for 10 years and lack of communication and honesty destroyed it.
That is the basis of what we talked abut on the show only much more in depth. I am sure this is not what you wanted to hear but you asked my opinion.
Kylie Ireland www.kylieireland.com
----------
And the final email I received from him: you bitch...you fucking bitch...one day I will fuck the brains out of you...I made up this story to get your attention and you fell in my trap...haha...I knew it...you dumb slut...now I can go to my friends and tell them how I managed to get the attention of the fucking pornstar you are...by the way I was never a member of your website. Cheers Father-fucker
--------- My thoughts:
This is the kind of bullshit I get for answering my email which most porn girls rarely take the time to do), caring about my fans and wanting to be a good person and help. I take pride in my job and in trying to be a good person, I like to help others and in the process dispel the myths that porn stars are all self-centered bitches.
This is the thanks I get. Shit like this makes me want to not answer my email, not talk to my fans and in general not even make any effort.
I did not email this childish person back and tell him off, nor do I understand the mentality of this whole “trap”. Is bragging to your friends about tricking a porn star a badge of courage? Does that make him a big man? Perhaps it makes his tiny, pathetic little dick hard? Does this whole thing make him feel better in some way, to have taken advantage of a person’s kindness? Or perhaps he became suddenly embarrassed that he was asking me for help? One thing for sure is he certainly must not have much of a life and has way too much time on his hands. Who knows, all I know is that it makes me not want to care and not want to waste the time and effort. This was all very disheartening.
The reason I have posted this here is so that if any of you want to let him know what your thoughts are (and I hope you will) here is his email address. dkwongyin@yahoo.co.uk His email address says his name is David, yet he signed the emails Bobby.
If nothing else thank you for taking the time to read this.
Kylie
PS. If anyone feels feisty and emails him please forward it to me as well.
[Link]
AC Cream Deactivated User
1066 Posts 5/04
Posted - Sep 23 2005 : 8:50PM
Damn Kylie,
This dude kinda makes me seem like less of a jerk huh?
Kylie don't sweat it as far as you reading your e-mail. The only "badge of honor" is you stepping into the "trap". Fuck him, he's a loser. I'm sure for every 1 jackoff like him you give good advice to multiple guys that would likely not take such advice from other people.
Keep being the caring person you are.
Kylie I'm in need of a hug. Can you help me out with that say in early January in Vegas maybe?
In the sad town, cold iron hands clap the party of clowns outside . 251 Posts 4/04
Posted - Sep 23 2005 : 9:25PM
total bullshit ! the guy clearly has issues. why jerk around one of the nicest, and accessible stars ever in the adult biz ?? dickus ! ps, hey Kylie, ever get to see Nakona anymore ?
You acted in the right way kylie, you've answered many of my emails personally and I was very greatful for that. The majority of pornstars I write, don't write back. But your devotion to your fans will create many more loyal fans than douchebags like this guy. Just to play devils advocate for a moment though; perhaps a scornful wife checked the sent messages box that this person sent? Just a possibility, though I'm not sure how likely it is.
Kylie, please don't get get disharted and disapointed in your fans. That guy is a total loser and the funny thing is he is going to brag to his friends about it! Mean and stupid, what a combo! Forget about him, there is much people all over the globe who enjoy your movies and who appreciate your kindnes and readines to help.
[Link]
DenverDon Benevolent
Firmly Embedded in Depravity 5914 Posts 7/02
Posted - Sep 23 2005 : 9:59PM
Pathetic little person.
Unfortunately people take advantage of other peoples kindness all the time. Look at all the scams popping up from Katrina and Rita.
Was it a trap or is he just pissed off and trying to hurt you because you didn't fulfill his fantasy? Ah, who cares - he's an asshole and that's the end of that.
I rarely have time to post here these days, but I was cruising through and saw this thread. I couldn't let it go by without comment.
You really are one of the kindest, most decent human beings I've had the pleasure to meet, work with and get to know in this often heartless business and it saddens me no end that you would be the target of such a miserable, scummy prank, it that's even the right word for it. I feel nothing but contempt for the individual responsible, and suspect he has an equally low opinion of himself or he wouldn't feel the need to stoop to such lowly antics.
I've noticed a distinct rise in the frequency of cruel, anonymous attacks on performers in this vein, not only here but elsewhere on the Web. In fact, we've finally had to cut off new sign-ups at to our forum at nina.com because the ratio of trolling assholes to genuine human beings has tipped so adversely.
I'm not sure why this has become so common, or if in fact it's just the work of a small number of individuals without lives who do nothing but cruise from site to site looking for opportunities to make things unpleasant for women in this industry. I find myself wondering whether this phenomenon is a response to a hostile political climate, or a proliferation of a new breed of "fan" who wants to get in on the "mean porn" trend personally, but whatever the cause, it sucks.
I have exactly zero patience with the argument that porn stars are public figures who are, in essence, "asking for it" by the nature of what they do. I saw that argument advanced over the recent outing of real names and other personal info, and I think those making it fail quite utterly in the common decency and respect for other human beings departments.
Those who make their livings entertaining others, whether through sex performance or some alternative form of creative expression, give at the office. In no way does their visibility make them somehow legitimate targets of stalkers, tricksters, scam artists or hateful loser assholes of any other variety.
The fact that the perpetrators live in dingy basements, subsist on cat food, couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons and have to beg on pay phones to their mommies to cover their rent doesn't excuse them in any way. By their actions, they place themselves outside the realm of human compassion and I for one am glad you posted this dumb fuck's email and hope that others will choose to let him know just how thoroughly he's humiliated himself with his petty attempt to humiliate you.
I think it's time for all of us who make ourselves available on the Web to take a harder line with the few who abuse the privilege. That's one of the reasons our site is so heavily moderated. If the adult Internet becomes a sort of open season on porn stars, the eventual result will be porn stars ceasing to participate in direct contact with fans, an unfortunate loss to all and another reason to come down hard on abusive posters whenever and wherever they appear.
Let me conclude by saying that I deeply hope the ugliness of this one spiteful loser won't dim your kind and welcoming radiance toward the many, many fans and friends out there who love you. It's that very quality that sets you apart, and that lesser beings will always envy and resent. You have a big heart, and that is a rare treasure others covet.
Being married to someone with many similar qualities, I can appreciate the pressures involved and can only offer my love and support, along with Nina's.
"that reminds me of the time I faked an injury. This old man was coming to my aid when I jumped up, kicked him in the nuts, stole his wallet and pushed him to the ground. That was great fun"
Two possibilities: 1) He's a high school kid (aka complete jackass) 2) It was his wife that sent the email as him
Welcome to the darkside....we have cookies. 598 Posts 11/03
Posted - Sep 23 2005 : 11:25PM
Earnest,
What a surprise to have you comment on this! My heart swelled up and I got all mushy and even teary...
Then I laughed my ass off at the dingy basement, subsisting on catfood part. :)
You are one in a million and I thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to post your thoughts - all of which are so right on and I couldn't have said it better if I tried.
Thank you to you and all the good people posting in here today.
Much love to you and Nina.
Kylie
(edited for typos)
Edited by - kylie ireland on 9/23/2005 11:26:08 PM
Very possible it was his wife, or he was just a screwed up asshole trying to get attention. He should stick his head in his ass and fart.
Either way, you shouldn't let it worry you at all. Your advice was good advice whether his letters were fake or not. I know you probably feel like you wasted time dealing with it, but in a sense you didn't. You tried to help someone and that makes you a better person.
I'm sure for every fucktard like that you have many fans that truly appreciate you taking the time to answer their questions.
The truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination.
what a serious asshat. i dont get why he took all the time to make up some ruse like that. its not like porn girls are from another planet - so what if kylie replied to him? i guess it makes him king of his own little world.
That same thought ran through my head as well. Then I had a much brighter thought. It's highly doubtful that this douchebag just picked you randomly, meaning he very well might have checked you out in a few behind the scenes featurettes or by reading a bit about you on the web. Maybe he picked you because you come off as a person who really cares about her fans and who would respond rather than just blowing people off like others might.
"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling
I was living in the dark... but now I see the light... 338 Posts 2/04
Posted - Sep 24 2005 : 3:31AM
Hey Kylie...
I think what I just read was discusting... and I'll feel fiesty and email him... why the fuck not? then he can brag about having the attention of multiple porners, but mine will tell what a pathetic loser he is, and that he should get laid.
I feel way within my rights to do this because a) I love you to bits, and you don't deserve shit like that. And b) by threatening you, it makes me uncomfortable about what kind of person is out there. He can't be let to get away thinking all porn chicks are just 'dumb bitches' without a slight repremand of of someone. I understand why you can't do it, because you shouldn't waste anymore time on him, but he's only just pissed me off, and I'd quite like a bit of angry banter with this prick.
love Isabel (your new head of security)
and 'bollocks' to whoever brought up the ethical debate... this is our integrity he's questioning.
Kylie , I am hoping that I am not too late and that you will still get opportunity to read these responses to your "situation" with Mr. Jerk-off who sounds as if he may be too young to be a member of your website.
What seems like eons ago (but actually was not that long at all), I decided to write my first porn fan letter. In the days pre-internet, most adult performers were far less accessible than today and the thought ocurred to me that this letter would probably never be read - much less responded to.
I decided to give it a go anyway, even though part of me was embarrassed to actually be writing "fan-mail" to a fantasy woman. I had watched a little porn by then and even met a performer or two - but this woman had a touch of realism about her that made her astonishing looks even more amazing. Her scenes just seemed to reach out and grab you...she was like any woman you could meet on the street and speak to - only 100 times hotter! I had to write a quick note of appreciation. I expected no response.
Not only did I receive a response, it was a real and thoughtful one. I opened the letter expecting some poorly disguised attempt at making a form template appear real, but was pleasantly surprised at a note that illustrated this woman had actually taken the time to read my letter, think about it and respond accordingly!
This brief exchange that probably meant nothing whatsoever to this wonderful starlet made my day and actually helped shape the way I view and appreciate the people that perform for we fans. I will never forget that they are real people with all the same foibles and miracles as we fans and I will never stop truly recognizing the efforts they put out in their careers of choice, Say whatever you want about "the industry," I choose to see "the people" involved instead.
So thank you, Kylie for your beauty, thank you for your incredible sexual energy and thank you for some mind-boggingly erotic scenes...but most of allthank you for taking the time to connect with me as an actual person!
JAGnLA
I genuinely hope this fool won't have influenced the way you handle yourself one bit!
I was living in the dark... but now I see the light... 338 Posts 2/04
Posted - Sep 24 2005 : 4:57AM
Has anyone else noticed the similarities between Kylie's and this dick head's emails and that Eminem song... the one with crazy fanmail....? Maybe he's just trying to be him? (the crazy fan that is) Hopefully he's gone and driven his car off a bridge....
Kylie, Let me first say I am in no way taking up for this clown, as his actions were and are disturbing and very sad if not pathetic. That being said, I think your advice to him before he admitted he was a fraud was wonderful, heartfelt, and sincere as well as well written and tremendous advice. However, It's obvious you have a gift of communicating through language and you should not give up on that talent due to the actions of one. I am not a porn star, I am a morning radio announcer. I get e-mails all the time from people troubled with this or that, and I avoid the ones that scare me or are over my head that need an expert to help them. But, because of my role in life that I accepted, I think it is part of the gig that I respond or give attention to those that ask. Don't give up on those that want your attention.....you have that ability and you are very good at it. Thanks, Parker
That's great post, JAG.. and I'm sure you speak for most of us.
I always had admiration for Kylie for her honesty, that she stood by her opinion (like that Farenheit compaign.. hehe) and the fact that she always took time to actually answer the questions, even here on the message boards. Kylie, your efforts and time are greatly appreciated, and yes, thank you for just being yourself . You're just as beautiful on inside as on the outside and we all love you.
Just another bare bum in the shiower 1739 Posts 12/04
Posted - Sep 24 2005 : 12:08PM
I'm afraid the "1% Asshole Factor" will always hold us back from achieving a wonderful pants-free Utopia where we can all live happily together in peace and harmony.
So Kylie, just remember us 99-percenters who have genuine respect for you and would be over the moon to receive such a thoughful and caring response to our fanmail.
Welcome to the darkside....we have cookies. 598 Posts 11/03
Posted - Sep 24 2005 : 10:37PM
Hello everyone,
I have to say I am absolutely touched by the outpouring of strength and caring and support (with a nifty twinge of evil) that you have all shared.
I wasn't sure what would come out of posting this or that if it was the right thing to do. In the end I thought "well if this guy wants to brag to his friends - I will help him brag to the world." Aren't you all impressed by him?
Some of you brought up things I hadn't even thought of - beyond him being an asshole and a loser - like he might be underage or it could be his wife. Interesting to ponder.
Either way I thought it might be interesting for you all to see what us porn chicks occasionally encounter.
For those of you who have actually emailed him, that is fantastic, I haven't heard back from him but I'll bet he is baffled as all hell. I don't think he will dare email back.
BTW - Isabel Ice, my dear, you crack my shit up girl! You can be my bodyguard any time and I pity the fool! :)
All of you thank you again, so much, for your posts and emails, you have made me laugh and have even made my eyes all misty.
Trust me it will take a lot more that one arrogant, idiotic asshole to change the person I am inside. That stunt may have stung a bit but it also has made me stronger. One bad apple doesn't ruin the bunch.
Welcome to the darkside....we have cookies. 598 Posts 11/03
Posted - Sep 24 2005 : 10:49PM
On the lighter side of this I put together a collection of some of the brilliant stuff said that made me crack up from all your posts:
-He should stick his head in his ass and fart.
-what a serious asshat
-but he's only just pissed me off, and I'd quite like a bit of angry banter with this prick.
-The fact that the perpetrators live in dingy basements, subsist on cat food, couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons and have to beg on pay phones to their mommies to cover their rent doesn't excuse them in any way.
-This dude kinda makes me seem like less of a jerk huh?
There was an ordinary man who needed a friend and someone to talk to. One day he saw a pretty picture of a lady in a magazine. He thought right way that she was the vision of loveliness and was so amazed by her beauty. To his surprise, this lady was a celebrity and also an adult film actress. He found out that she was very new to the industry and thought to contact her somehow and some way. He gathered enough courage to sit down at his desk, grab a pen and start writing down what came to his mind with feelings straight from his heart. He expressed how one day he would want to meet her... how much he wanted to get to know her better... how much he dreamt of even getting a reply from her if she would even have the time to read his letter.
Does it sound familiar? This particular story happens to be true and took place about 11 years ago. I should know because that ordinary young man... was me.. and the lovely lady.. of course was you.
Back when I wrote that first letter, I never knew if you would receive it... or if you had the time from your busy schedule to read it or if you would even care to reply. In that letter, I told you how I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. I only thought you might have laughed, giggled or if it made you smile. I was thinking, if you have already read or heard what was said probably once or more before, but in different words by different guys. I tried to choose my words as best I can but I was scared that I might have sounded like a school boy writing a love letter to his first girlfriend.
Little did I know that your beauty came in many different ways. Not only in your physical appearance, but what was inside of you. You possess something that you don't find everyday in every person.. and that is your special caring and kindness. You didn't know me back then and you took the time to write me back. I'm very glad and happy that you did.
Throughout the years you were there for me in so many different ways. I always tried to keep up with you and your career. I knew your schedule might have been busy, for you were not only an actress but you also danced. I would write you a letter through the mail (way before you had an email or website) when there was something special that happened to me or just to tell you how much I enjoyed looking at your newest pictures in a magazine or how fantastic it was to have seen your newest movies. I always tried to be as open as I could, yet try to be a gentleman and not offend you. I would wonder if you received every letter or if they might have missed you as you travelled.
I'd keep you in my thoughts everyday hoping you'd never forget me. From the very first time, I told you I would strive to be the very best fan you would ever have. One day you made it official and sent me a card which acknowledged me as your #1 fan. That will always be an honor to me. I know you know the rest of the story... as it is still being written. You've been around for me whenever you could, from the good times and even the bad times I had in my life.
You've always been a strong, intelligent, caring and loving woman. I thank you for being the kind person you were back then... and are now. I wouldn't even want to think of "What ifs?"
That's why when I read the email you posted. I was in shock. I felt many emotions for awhile. I was saddened that someone would try to hurt you. I was angry that you had to read those words. For that misbegotten person to even think of doing such a thing. He/she didn't know nearly enough that betraying your openess has probably made you stronger. Why someone would fake a letter of that nature, I do not know.
I know it will probably make you more cautious as to who and the people you interact with in the future and I'm sorry that you might feel that way. Your true fans know who they are.. and they will be around, no matter what. Certainly they outweigh those lesser individuals that have to pretend to get your attention.
Let me finish by saying... Kylie, you will always be very, if not the most important thing in my life. Till this day, I will always be here for you, not just for support, not only as a fan, but most importantly... also as your faithful friend. Thank you for putting your trust in me all these years and keeping in touch by letters and emails as well as hanging out when I see you. I truly appreciate everything you've done, especially sharing your life with me. You're one of a kind and so very special!!
Welcome to the darkside....we have cookies. 598 Posts 11/03
Posted - Sep 25 2005 : 3:13AM
Awwww, now that was a heartfelt post.
FYI, Ronald actually is my number one fan having recieved the 000001 Fan Club Card back in the days of snail mail fan clubs. Back before this itranety-web-thingy.
Paying trib-ute to SinncentVanSage 1412 Posts 12/04
Posted - Sep 25 2005 : 12:55PM
Kylie, trying to help that sicko was not all in vain. Your reply impressed me very much. You really tried to help. I mean you could also have told him what you thought he wants to hear, like "leave that bitch and buy more of my movies". I've never seen any of your movies but I have a very positive impression of you now. If that means anything to you, please don't stop caring for your fans. It's sad you were the victim of a guy who didn't get his medically prescribed monthly bukkake but there are much more true fans out there who really like your work and the way you are.
Somewhere dreaming of an oak barrel full to the brim with you know what.
Yes, I had the same thought when I read it. Really impressed by Kylie's answers.
Vince, for Kylie starters I recommend DEEP INSIDE KYLIE IRELAND from VCA. It gives a good career overview. Great compilation very well produced with an interesting interview.
Paying trib-ute to SinncentVanSage 1412 Posts 12/04
Posted - Sep 25 2005 : 6:46PM
Thank you, Juha. I'm a sucker for SIES movies so I'll definitely keep an eye on this one.
That's definitely possible. I had a similar experience some years ago. Whatever God might think about porn one thing is clear to me: If there's no God there's no Gauge. Big Bang is not the reason beautiful girls exist. It's the other way round.
Somewhere dreaming of an oak barrel full to the brim with you know what.
Patience is a virtue, but who wants to be virtuous? 4283 Posts 4/00
Posted - Sep 25 2005 : 7:21PM
Kylie - I think I know how you feel. However, it's the facts that you do answer as many emails as you're able to and that you genuinely care that are a large part of what make you such an incredible person.
You just need to remember that for every asshole guy hiding behind the internet, there are a hundred (or at least hopefully dozens ) of nice guys that really do appreciate how amazing you are.
Welcome to the darkside....we have cookies. 598 Posts 11/03
Posted - Sep 25 2005 : 7:47PM
Another good compilation of mine is the Adam & Eve Signature Series - it has 10 scenes from my A&E movies over the span of my career plus one new one - an anal with Van Damage - we shot exclusively for this series. In case anyone needs to know you can get your autographed copies of this, the Deep Inside and a bunch of others in my online store. www.kylieirelandstore.com