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All Forums > The Porn Pool > The Porn Pool Forum Page 111 > E.A. Poe - Porn Critic
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EdgarAPoe1809
Deactivated User

35 Posts
5/20
Posted - May 25 2020 : 7:53AM


Porn should be taken seriously as an art form. It is not as lofty as literature, but obviously has much more entertainment value.

And yet, IMHO, 99% of porn made today is unwatchable.

Where did we go so wrong?

I hope to answer that question in a series of posts.

Note to MODS: I signed up to this forum to post exclusively on this thread. This is my first post. Please don't bury my posts on someone else's thread. Thank you!

I have been watching porn for many decades and have a lot to say on the subject. Hence the need for my own thread. If there is a favorable response, I will continue to post.

I have chosen the name Edgar Allan Poe because he was America's first great literary critic (for proof read his critique of N. Hawthorne's "Twice Told Tales").

I have a soaring ambition: my goal is to be the E.A. Poe of porn criticism.

So let's get started.

My first subject is TATTOOS.

There is nothing wrong with a tattoo on a starlet if it is modest and well placed.

It can be a big plus if it helps bring out the girl's personality, thus making her unique and more interesting to the porn consumer (e.g., is used as a branding technique).

For example, Jenna Jameson's "Heartbreaker" tattoo on her buttock was fantastic, communicating her supreme sexual prowess. If any starlet deserved that tattoo, she did.

I loved Juli Ashton's tattoo of the Greatful Dead "Dancing Bear" above her vag; it immediately told you she was a cool stoner chick.

The highly underrated Julia Bond's "Daddy's Little Girl" tramp stamp went perfectly with her seductive ingenue persona.

On the other hand, there are many starlets who deface their bodies with visual monstrosities that make you want to turn away.

For example, the truly stunning Janine Lindemulder destroyed herself with tattoos that covered all her arms and most of her upper body. This act of defacement was like taking a bright sharpie and drawing utter nonsense all over the Mona Lisa. What Janine did to herself was absolutely criminal.

I like Kenzie Reeves, but she has perhaps the worst tattoo of any current starlet, with the pointless word "Desautels" scrawled like a giant necklace under her neck. How does that improve her "look"? Answer: it doesn't. It is so horrible in fact that most of her shoots have clothing draped over the monstrosity so we don't have to see it. As for her personal brand, the only thing that tattoo tells us about her is that she is dumb and self-destructive.

The point of all of the above is that we, the porn consumer, want to PERSONALLY CONNECT WITH THE GIRL when we watch her scenes. It's very hard to do that when a horrendous tattoo distracts our attention away from the girl's face and body (e.g., Janine, Kenzie Reeves, etc.). On the other hand, a modest tattoo, well placed (e.g., Jenna J., Juli Ashton, Julia Bond) adds a perfect splash of spice to a stew that is already delectable.

Gore Gore Girl All-Star Supporter
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

7238 Posts
1/09
Posted - May 25 2020 : 8:34AM
Welcome! You will following in the footsteps of the late Robert Rimmer and (more recently) Dries Vermeulen of imdb. They are both indispensable in their own way, but Vermeulen integrates detailed contextual information about the production and really knows his stuff. He will be missed.

Anyway, you might enjoy their work. I think you can still get Rimmer's x-rated videotape guides used online. I have all of them.

leatherface
Senior Member

1258 Posts
7/07
Posted - May 25 2020 : 11:46AM
No it can't. There are only degrees of devastation of the body with tattoos.
I know, controversial topic and I don't have anything against persons with tattoos (and I'm a fan of many models who have some small ones), but I have still to see a tattoo that improves the look of a person.
AngryPirate
Senior Member

3210 Posts
8/17
Posted - May 25 2020 : 12:52PM
I don't think you are doing Edgar Allan Poe justice with your critique. Your attempts to find informative qualities about tattoos and convey a broader meaning behind them are literally the things Poe was known for disliking in literature, if not showing contempt for it.

There are hundreds of porn performers out there with more scenes than you could probably watch in your lifetime but why give so much time to anyone whose looks don't line up with what you find attractive? Yes, the porn consumer does often want to connect with the performer but this narrative that we are distracted by large or heavy tattoos is patently untrue. Frankly, that sweeping statement comes across as shamelessly self-righteous and ignorant of the fact that it's different strokes for different blokes. Sure, I think some tattoos look terrible but there are women whose tattoos (some moderate and some very heavy) attract my attention to her body and how some designs make draw my attention to her face or to other body parts. Conversely there are people on ADT who have an almost pathological hatred of tattoos on women, regardless of how "modest" they are or where they're positioned so this echo chamber you're trying to paint of what "we" as the porn consumer will be distracted by or what "we" as the will see as a little improvement to something already nice is a false one.

Maybe with your second subject, you should refer to your own perspective as "I" or "my" instead of saying "we" or "our", as if your views are the consensus for porn viewers? The fact that there is so much disagreement at ADT on what looks are appealing show that there isn't a single person you will find whose appearance pleases everyone. Even the most popular porn actress will have her detractors.

EdgarAPoe1809
Deactivated User

35 Posts
5/20
Posted - May 25 2020 : 1:33PM

Thanks for the feedback, even AngryPirate. I agree, yes, different strokes for different folks. That's why there are a hundred niches and fetishes. I'm talking about "mainstream" porn. In this broad world, a girl like Kenzie Reeves gets her obnoxious tattoo covered up all the time by sites that cater to the herd (who can blame these sites, which see the obvious danger of alienating their customers). I'm speaking for the herd, not for what individual porn consumers find attractive. If a girl wants to satisfy the biggest possible audience, it's safer for her not to have any tattoos. And if she must have one, it should be modest and well placed. IMHO.

ps - One other terrible tattoo is the "Briana Banks" above Lizz Tayler's vag. For one thing, the tattoo is ugly; for another, it's in a bad spot. But most of all it's insincere. Every guy hates a tease. I love Lizz for her athletic body and energetic performances, but she was no where close to being a "super slut" like Briana Banks (eg, Lizz never did IR, Anal, DP). If anyone should have had that tattoo, it was Lizz's friend from Georgia, Jada Stevens, who reached the Briana Banks' lofty "super slut" standard. If Lizz had lived up to her tattoo she might have become a star as big as Briana Banks. Deep sigh.

 
AngryPirate
Senior Member

3210 Posts
8/17
Posted - May 25 2020 : 3:46PM
Indeed it may be safer for a performer not to have many or blatant tattoos but there isn't one herd is there? There are many groups of porn fans, some larger than others but it's absurd to say there's one herd and just individual fans.

Mainstream doesn't exist in isolation from niche or fetish. Fetish is often part of and in many cases an integral one in mainstream content e.g. big boob porn is a fetish by definition. There is plenty of crossover between those labels so I don't subscribe to any notion that they're like oil and water.

This topic/series reads to me like it will be nothing but a session of bashing those who don't align with what you like in while porn praising some performers under a thinly veiled pretense of giving balance in the "critique". Saying "in my humble opinion" sounds like an utterly wasted disclaimer when performers are denounced as "dumb and self-destructive" and "insincere" or described as having "defaced" or "destroyed" themselves. It sounds as humble as Trump.

EdgarAPoe1809
Deactivated User

35 Posts
5/20
Posted - May 25 2020 : 4:33PM

Sorry, you don't get to cherry pick my words. I'm not "bashing" anyone. For instance, I'm a big fan of Lizz Taylor. I think she's top notch all around, except for the ugly tattoo. Saying she is "insincere" is an honest opinion about her choosing body art that doesn't "align" with her relatively conservative porn persona (compared to her "super slut" friend Jada Stevens).

Being a "critic" means having a point of view. If you don't like mine, don't read my thread. Perhaps the "herd" agrees with you. If yes, I will gladly stop posting. I don't apologize for telling it like I see it using direct language that isn't watered down. If I am crossing any defined lines of decorum, I would ask the Mods to tell me how.


AngryPirate
Senior Member

3210 Posts
8/17
Posted - May 25 2020 : 8:24PM
You'll find I get to pick on what words I like subject to following forum guidelines and whether you think I get to do so or not is inconsequential.

Being a "critic" works both ways. Your critique is not immune to criticism itself. If I disagree with something I read, I will say so as I have done. Likewise, I offer no apology in not singing from the same hymn sheet as you. I'm curious how I am supposed to not read a thread from after the fact if I don't like it.

As you seem to be oblivious of forum etiquette, I'll give you a helping hand:

https://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/etiquette.asp

I don't see how saying that somebody's tattoo only tells you they are dumb is conducive to constructive criticism so please tell me what I'm missing.


Edited by - AngryPirate on 5/25/2020 8:31:46 PM

EdgarAPoe1809
Deactivated User

35 Posts
5/20
Posted - May 25 2020 : 10:05PM

I'd like a ruling from the Mods on this one. Did I violate the etiquette of this forum? If the ruling is yes, I will cease posting because I don't wish to participate in an Orwellian community that prevents the use of words like dumb to describe an unintelligent act. I say to the Mods, isn't the SPIRIT of this forum supposed to be about the free and open exchange of ideas? Other members of the community please chime in, too. I am a newbie and thought I would be welcomed here to contribute something incremental to the discussion, but instead AngryPirate has disabused me of that naive notion. Are his mean-spirited posts what this place is all about?


Porn Scout
Deactivated User

3735 Posts
10/02
Posted - May 25 2020 : 11:17PM
I think you probably won't last on this forum.
DrexlSpivey
Deactivated User

Face sitting is the Simon to pegging's Garfunkel
837 Posts
1/07
Posted - May 26 2020 : 1:55AM
You talk as though you speak for everyone when you don't. I agree with Scout you won't last. If you want to review focus on the content,quality and performances. Don't pretend that you have a finger on what type of women the majority of people are attracted to because you don't nor could anyone. If you're such an articulate intellectual and there's nothing wrong with your post here please be my guest and walk up to Joanna Angel and Small Hands at an AVN Expo and regurgitate your post to them face to face. Go ahead and tell a sweetheart like Kenzie Reeves that has never harmed you what you think of her tattoo. I'll glady pay for your airfare. Your room is on you. You're a tough guy you can probably just be on the streets and be good. You're so good at writing I'm sure you could get a room comped. Edgar Allan Poe would get shit faced drunk and trash talk you mercilessly so stop taking a dump on his name. Can you write a review in prose? You know prose, which Poe pretty much invented. All I've seen you do is whine about tattoos which if you were a creative type you would maybe see as it is artistic self expression. Out of all the topics within porn for you to choose tattoos for your first post seems like it was the sole thing on your mind. Fewer people than you anticipated want to read your hack writing go ahead and retreat to under your bridge. Go ahead big guy you're the Poe of porn where's that first review? It's easy to bitch about a subject. If you're not a talentless hack it will be written in prose.

Edited by - drexlspivey on 5/26/2020 2:27:47 AM

rearadmiral All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

6510 Posts
12/11
Posted - May 26 2020 : 7:36AM
I've really been trying to avoid posting in this thread as it was a bit of a train wreck even before it left the station but I feel compelled to call you out on a comment you made that. In a more recent comment you stated that you said that Kenzie Reeves undertook a dumb act in getting her tattoo. I think that's a fair comment to make here and likely won't run afoul of the etiquette rules. But, this is contrary to your opening comment in this thread where you said that Kenzie is "dumb and self-destructive." I'm not a moderator, but it seems to me that your original comment is contrary to letter and spirit of the rules.

And since I'm already digging myself into a hole here, I'll say that I've been kicking around here for a couple of years and have made a bunch of posts and read this forum daily and I have never once perceived the forum rules to be Orwellian or overly restrictive. I perceive the rules as maintaining a decorum that is welcoming to all, including porn stars. The rules also protect the forum itself by strictly prohibiting posts that could attract unwanted attention. Posting tube site links and celebrity photos are examples of this.

And I might as well continue digging... I perceive your position that following the rules here limits the "free and open exchange of ideas" is incorrect. This is a private forum. It is owned an operated privately. The owners and Mods can impose any rules they want and if you and I want to be members here then we're obligated to comply. Free speech can be limited when you're dealing with private enterprise.

EdgarAPoe1809
Deactivated User

35 Posts
5/20
Posted - May 26 2020 : 9:50AM

I seemed to have rubbed many folks the wrong way with my use of E.A. Poe's name, my writing style, what I wrote, etc. Sorry about that. My goal was to make a positive contribution to this forum, but I see now that this is not the place for me, that I am not welcome here. This will be my last post. Thank you RearAdmiral. I agree with all you say re: the First Amendment, that it doesn't apply to private biz, etc. On the other hand, porn as we know it today exists because of the SPIRIT of that amendment. Is it not a little ironic that a forum dedicated to porn should create PC rules to protect "sweethearts" like Kenzie Reeves (I agree, she is a sweetheart; I said I liked her), thereby restricting speech in such a dramatic way that a well-intentioned newbie like me is, in effect, driven out of this forum because he had the temerity to accurately and fairly use the word "dumb" in the context of many positive remarks about performers?




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