EXXXOTICA Hottie Charleen moves to the music on the main stage.
ROSEMONT, IL - Going into EXXXOTICA Chicago's 3rd annual show, I didn't know what to expect. The inaugural 2011 show was a fun time, but the floor space was relatively small in comparison to their events in other cities. Not such a big deal, since it was the organizers' first year in Chicago. Having attended the first three shows of EXXXOTICA New York/New Jersey, I witnessed their exponential growth from year to year. I missed the 2012 Chicago show due to a scheduling conflict, so I had no idea if a similar size gain had occurred here. Upon taking my first walking tour of the show floor this past weekend, I'm afraid to say the show did not appear any larger. In some ways, it actually felt a bit smaller.

Tory Lane demos the latest hardware for Real Touch. Go ahead, shove a finger (or whatever) inside and feel what it's all about.
Part of that was due to the notable absence of some big name talents. EXXXOTICA stalwarts like Asa Akira, Stoya, Andy San Dimas, Lexington Steele, and others did not make the trip this time around. The stage performances were less varied this year, lacking the originality of past acts like The Continuum (who did have a presence elsewhere on the floor) and the Pretty Things Peepshow. One could blame the ongoing financial troubles of the adult industry, but you can't put too much stock in that when it comes to a 3-day, once-a-year event that is meant to attract business and boost interest.

Ron Jeremy tells his story... in between some truly awful jokes. The crowd laughs anyways, because it's Ron fucking Jeremy.
Before I start giving off the impression that the show was a failure, let me put an end to that right now. EXXXOTICA Chicago 2013 brought quite a few new things to the table, most of which was thoroughly entertaining. Stormy Daniels performed her renowned feature dancing routines every day of the show, attracting hordes of fans to the main stage. The level of creativity, comedic timing, and sensuality she brings to each performance is absolutely unreal. Add in the fact that no money at all was being thrown onto the stage (a bonafide crime, in my opinion), and Stormy's unfailing energy becomes even more impressive. I certainly hope the organizers decide to make feature dancers a staple in all future shows. If nothing else, it informs casual fans that these girls can do so much more than fuck on camera, which in turn may bring them out to the clubs the next time their favorite performer comes to town.

Stormy Daniels gets a little wet during her final feature dance of the show.
Over on the exhibitor side of things, there was no bigger surprise than a little wonder called Girls Gone Gyno. Apparently, there's a line of videos (of course there is) that features girls strapped into a gynecological chair. They then get worked on with a wide range of speculums, vibrators, forceps, and other tools. The Girls Gone Gyno booth had the funny doctor, his hot nurse, the daunting chair, and the line of tools laid out on the table. So, what about the patient? Well, that's where the fans came in. While a crowd of onlookers scratched their heads in complete disbelief (myself included), girl after girl after girl took turns climbing into the chair, spreading her legs, and letting the nurse bring her to multiple orgasms with a vibrating wand.

Nurse Shay Lo and assistant Jewel Kat tend to this lucky patient's urgent needs. Onlookers gasp... and take loads of inappropriate photos.
Of course, no penetration actually occurred, none of the other tools were actually used, and no vagina ever saw the light of day. Still, watching unpaid fans willingly hop onto that chair, expose their panty-covered crotches for all of us to see and photograph, while their boyfriends/husbands happily stood by - it all bordered on the uncomfortably obscene. But nothing was performed without complete consent, Doctor Tampa's smooth narration had me in stitches, and sexy cute Nurse Shay Lo made it all seem perfectly normal yet no less awesome. At no point did I ever suspect this was set up with paid participants, as evidenced by some girls freaking out as soon as they realized what they had gotten themselves into. I may have little interest in purchasing any of their videos, but the people behind Girls Gone Gyno can count me as a licensed and certified fan.

Nurse Shay Lo wants to treat and care for you. If I had a vagina, I'd be spread eagle on those stirrups before she even had a chance to get off the chair.
I mentioned The Continuum earlier, which brings me to the EXXXOTICA Dungeon. A large corner of the show floor was devoted to all things S&M: whips, rubber, cages, rubber, chains, and more rubber (with token appearances by good ol' leather) - you name it. But compared to Girls Gone Gyno, the Dungeon was actually pretty subdued. I rarely heard any screams coming from this area, despite the loud cracks of those whips. Having thoroughly enjoyed their stage shows at the 2011 Chicago show, I was happy to see The Continuum present with their sexy British accents. I do wish they had a spot on the stage this year, but this was a fine substitute.

Mistress Cleo LaVamp (with her slave Guile) welcome you to the EXXXOTICA Dungeon. Chain and whip phobes need not apply.
The Farrah Abraham promotional tour made its way to Chicago, bringing a surprisingly large number of fans to the table. I don't know why I'm surprised by this. Perhaps I'm just too out of tune with celebrity culture. But the sheer number of fans who instantaneously lined up as soon as Farrah arrived each day was impressive, to say the least. I got the most amusement out of watching show security employ some atypical tactics to abide by Farrah's contract. This included covering camera lenses with their hands, telling people exactly how many photos they actually paid for, and even going so far as to request immediate deletion of stolen shots. I could've spent an entire day covering this phenomenon - except that would be stupid. I ended up feeling a bit sorry for the neighboring Lexi Belle and her fans, who unjustifiably got chewed out when they had no intention of trying to get Farrah on camera. For what it's worth, Farrah appeared to have a genuine good time at the show. She was always sporting a smile, didn't impose any weird limits personal interaction with the fans, and occasionally socialized with a few of the other girls. As "celebrity porn tape" girls go, I can honestly say I've met far worse. Is that saying a whole lot? Probably not, but I have no plans to demonize a girl who actually made a lot of fans happy this past weekend. How can you knock that?

Farrah Abraham takes a break to pose before returning to her long line of fans.
But at the end of the day, what really matters is the porn stars themselves. Without them, there would be no show, and I'm pleased to say that this year's line-up provided a lot of smiles, laughs, and boners. Bonnie Rotten was the definition of sweetheart, leading many fans to express their surprise. Jynx Maze's insistence on barely-there outfits - in spite of her obvious aversion to cold air-conditioning - was constantly endearing. I felt like I met a whole new Tory Lane, who is so unbelievably fit and delightful these days. Vicky Vette hasn't lost a step, happily recounting her plethora of scenes. A standout among the newcomers was East Coast Talents cutie Kennedy Leigh, whose personality may be even sexier than her body.

Kennedy Leigh clearly has no problem with the convention center's air conditioning, unlike many of the other girls.
And I would be remiss to not mention my long-delayed entry into MyFreeCams fandom. To say girls like BridgetteXoXo, Russian XXtasy, and Sparkle LuLu are immaculately cute is an understatement. I found myself repeatedly altering my walking trajectory in order to pass by their booth as many times as possible, hoping to see one more new girl. I now have dreams of a dedicated MyFreeCams convention. They definitely have more than enough girls to make that worthwhile.

Russian XXtasy entertains her fans from the show floor.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit there were a few bad eggs in the overall bunch, but nobody was horrible enough to ruin the show. If you came to see girls, EXXXOTICA Chicago delivered.

Lexi Belle and Allie Haze listen as Bonnie Rotten tells the crowd "Everything You Want to Know About Porn."
If Chicago continues to play host to this great show, I hope future efforts dare to go big. There's a vast amount of floor space that is walled off and left unused for no good reason. Aisle congestion doesn't make anybody happy. Put out a call to arms for more who-saw-that-coming acts on the main stage. And most importantly, keep reaching out to the studios. If EXXXOTICA could get one major production company to set up a booth and hire a few girls to appear, it would be a whole new ballgame. With AVN's Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas getting smaller year after year - and more content being shot outside of Southern California than ever before - I have to believe some struggling company would jump at the chance to attract business at a nationwide show with an installed fanbase. EXXXOTICA Chicago (along with all of its sister shows) is already a great time for fans of the industry. I firmly believe it has the potential to be the best time.
-Alan "Anime Nut" H.
Article links:
exxxoticaexpo.com
stormydaniels.com
GirlsGoneGyno.com
continuumchicago.com
farrahabraham.me
eastcoasttalents.com
MyFreeCams.com
NOTE: As some of you may already know, I'm attending San Diego Comic-Con this week. How is that relevant? It means that my photo gallery from EXXXOTICA Chicago is gonna be delayed by about a week. I might trickle a few photos out here and there over the next few days, but don't expect my entire gallery to be online until end of next week, at the earliest. My apologies for the delay.