Now that I'm old, it's not so important to me. If I want an orgasm, I'm going to get one, and if my partner isn't part of it, oh well. If my partner wants one, and I'm not part of it, oh well - and it better not be my responsibility to make sure they get one when they want one. You're a grown up, deal with it.

Sexual satisfaction for me has become much, much more important, but far less dependent on my partner.

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I do tend to prefer giving pleasure than receiving. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way, though. A personal example: With a past recent lover who was 8 years older than me, her pleasure and the number of times she could cum turned me on so much that I sometimes couldn't control my own excitement at the very start of sex, and I would cum way too soon. To make things "worse," she was A.) turned on by my cock and being penetrated, and B.) very turned on by how much her pleasure turned me on, and C.) she wasn't fluent in English, all of that adding up to some highly sexed, clumsy and funny moments. Funny in hindsight that is. In the moment I only felt disappointment if I blew too soon. Eventually we learned to communicate better and scale back the excitement levels if we wanted to stretch out the fun. Then at other times (afternoon quickies, say) we just went for it and I tried to hold on and stay hard inside her well past my cumming. Even if I completely F'd up and ruined the moment with my imbalanced pump-to-cum ratio, she never berated me or made me feel bad. That's where things like love, acceptance, respect and maturity come in handy.

I am curious why you say at 35 you're losing your sexual wheels? If you are noticing a problem physically, I'd look into why that may be. Overall health is a big factor with men's sexual performance as they age. A healthy balanced diet is really important.

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