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Introducing Natasha Carter| Author | Post |
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| Nuna Member Australia 20 Posts 9/00 |  Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 5:59AMHi guys...looking for some intelligent advice here.. Started a new relationship with a girl, together about 2 and a half months. I have come from a relationship of a few years, while this will be her first 'serious' relationship for her. The slight problem has been in the bedroom...she is a virgin, oral sex shes had, but not penetration. She is really keen to get into it all with me and we have started having oral sex etc...but she gets nervous that she doesn't know what to do. Its a little hard for me as i have come from a girl who gave the best oral sex ive encountered. I am totally patient and dont want to push anything, just wondering what a good approach would be to help her make it feel nice etc.. The other problem is when im fingering her, or 'trial runs with me inside her'. when fingering her she has a really strong "feeling of pressure when i curve my fingers up, and when i do it, it gets more and more intense for her, especially when combined with my tongue and she has the strongest feelings of wanting to pee. It has felt really good and she didnt want me to stop, but she panics that she is gonna pee all over me..She says it feels like its pushing on her bladder. Ive encountered the pee feeling with girls before, but don't know what to do to help her with the feeling. Especially for her to be able to let go and know she isnt going to pee, she knows she doesnt need to go, cos weve trialed her feelings before and after. Some advice would be greatly appreciated. Ive looked up sites with articles, but there isn't much specific on such feelings that i could find that were concise and to the point.. thanks [Link] |
| Joey Starr Senior Member Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00 | Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 6:27AM [Link] |
| darkangel Member 87 Posts 4/03 | Posted - Sep 11 2007 : 2:35PM My wife and I started out in a similar situation since I was experienced and she was a virgin. Communication is always the key and it seems like you have a great start on that. So here is what really worked for us... The people, forums, and resources through www.freddyandeddy.com really helped my wife be unafraid of exploring our sexuality. It is couples friendly and there are quite a few helpful women on their message boards. It's probably our favorite web site. We also rented several of the Nina Hartley "Guide to..." video series that opened a lot of doors for conversation and helped her explain her physical sensations in ways that we could both understand, and things just started to click after that. You can look up reviews on ADT for ones that sound right for you. Cheers. [Link] |
| Nuna Member Australia 20 Posts 9/00 | Posted - Sep 12 2007 : 5:33AM appreciate the feedback. I will look into your suggestions. May i ask how old your current wife was when you first started going out? Have you found the sex has just gotten better and better as you learned from each other? [Link] |
| darkangel Member 87 Posts 4/03 | Posted - Sep 14 2007 : 12:07PM We met just before we went to college. We lived about 2 hours apart so I would go see her on weekends. It was about a year before things started to get "hot & heavy" but another 3 years before we went "all the way" (our wedding night). There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking your time! We've been married 6 years and sex was ok but my wife never really would orgasm. About 2 years ago we started doing research on the net, buying books, and really talking a lot about sex. Now I have learned how to help her orgasm, and she has learned how to relax into an orgasm instead of tensing up and getting uncomfortably over-sensitive (I'm no expert but this may be what is going on in your situation). The "Nina Hartly Guide to.." movies really helped my wife put her feelings into words because she really never talked about sex before (the reviews here helped me choose the ones we rented). Also, we bought the "Liberator Wedge and Ramp" (worth every penny) and that really helps my wife relax and enjoy sex. It has taken a couple years of talking and learning (don't expect a quick fix) but now she orgasms nearly every time and we find ourselves enjoying sex infinitely more than we did 2 years ago. Edited by - darkangel on 9/14/2007 12:08:33 PM [Link] |
| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Sep 14 2007 : 7:16PM Step back from the feeling of judging her performance, too, and let her know that. She can relax when she knows that you are both just having fun, and it's not a critical performance. [Link] |
| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Sep 14 2007 : 7:20PM By the way, just because it doesn't work for her now doesn't meant that she won't like it later. Things change. Re-visit it in a few months or a few years. Always with the idea that it's play, and you experiment and discard anything that you don't both enjoy. It's an attitude thing, not a technique thing. [Link] |
| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Sep 14 2007 : 7:23PM |
| Nuna Member Australia 20 Posts 9/00 | Posted - Sep 15 2007 : 1:00AM And thanks Lindi too. It's funny because i have been curling my fingers up since i always thought this was the g-spot area etc...and she says that it feels really good too, so she likes it when i do it, but i think it borders on uncomfortable pressure/feeling really really good. So i guess i just wanted to know if its because sheis holding etc. She explained to me last night actually that she wants to "let go" but it is really hard for her to let it go. I just want to understand more what that means i guess and how she can let go if she wants to.. [Link] |
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