I have that same fear. I keep telling myself that I'll be dead and I won't care, but it still makes my blood run cold. I just don't want people finding a few of the things I've got and then having to think about it.
If I didn't like my family, it would be different. I'd set up the videocamera and make a home sex tape that would leave plenty of visuals burned into their retinas. ;)
I hear that. You can say you don't care until the cows come home, but if you do care in the least about your family you'll certainly wonder what they're thinking. If my folks are gone I wouldn't care. My sisters know I'm a looney toons anyway so they wouldn't be shocked by a damn thing if they found it when I was dead.
I keep thinking about Charles Kuralt (I know it's not quite the same thing). I don't want to be remembered for the secrets that were revealed after I departed.
The first thing that I came up with for storing my porn was a pair of DVD mega changers. They each held 300 DVD's and could be daisy chained together. For the artwork, I bought two looseleaf binders and 300 page protectors. On each side of each page protector I stuck a little label with a page number on it (1-600). Each page nuimber represented the slot in the mega changer that the disc was located.
Eventually, I had too many DVD's for the Mega changers and needed more storage. I went to Best Buy and bought a case like this and another looseleaf binder.
I numbered the pages in the case logic case with a silver Sharpie and since each page in the case holds 4 discs, I numbered the page protectors in the in the looseleaf 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 2A, etc...).
I've got a few of these cases now. The case has a place on the handle to insert a label and loose leaf binders also have slots for labels. So I just label the case and the binder with the same name so finding a disc and the corresponding artwork is a breeze.
For the most part, I just throw away the plastic cases.
I've got a shoe box in my closest, but you guys and gals, go for neatly configured CD and DVD cases. I think I need to drop my next check on my porn. Sounds like I'm a bit behind here.
If I am ever diagnosed with a fatal disease--I will either contact ADT'ers and offer all my DVD's free to them or throw them into a dumpster (if time is short). There would be no time to sell them.
Was it on Seinfeld that they mentioned having a "Porn Buddy" who is the person you designate to quickly go over to your house and remove your porn before your loved ones find it (after you pass away)?
I store my out-of-season clothing in suitcases under my bed. Not all of them have clothing however. One of the suitcases has movies and the other sex-toys. Both are locked of course. So far the kids haven't asked about the locked suitcases.
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realtip Deactivated User
2301 Posts 6/04
Posted - Jun 4 2006 : 11:17PM
weez wroteDepending on how old the kids are, they may already know what's in them, in which case, they most likely might pretend not to know.
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Midtown Deactivated User
299 Posts 7/05
Posted - Jun 4 2006 : 11:49PM
What the hell kind of disgusting things are you people hiding? I have movies. But, hell, that's a manifestation of my rights under the First Amendment.
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realtip Deactivated User
2301 Posts 6/04
Posted - Jun 5 2006 : 12:37AM
Midtown wroteTrue, I agree. And frankly I don't see it as really being that big a deal. Personally, I never think about trivial things like relatives finding porn in the unfortunate event of something tragic happening, probably because I try to avoid thinking about things like death or tragedy as much as possible; these things tend to be too depressing. In the unfortunate event that, Heaven forbid, I'm facing a sudden and untimely death, my porn stash is going to be the farthest thing from my mind and the least of my worries at that particular moment compared to a whole lot of other more important things that I would be more concerned about. Plus, if your family and friends are focused more on the fact that you were hiding porn than on the tragic fact that you, their loved one, is dead, then I think that's major problem there. Speaking for myself, I'd be too distraught over losing a loved one to get caught up over something so meaningless as discovering that they watched porn. Who cares?! Did you forget that someone you loved is now gone?!
Hmmm. Seems to me a discreet library, stumbled upon by loved ones, while enduring the disheartening task, of sorting through the spoils of your earthly posessions, would be one thing, and may even prompt a reflective tear or two.
Otoh, interpreting a clandestine discovery, of the voluminous, catagorized, and cross referenced profusion of filth, that a more avid porn enthusiast might eventually come to amass, could be somthing entirely different.
How true! I could really see my boy going through all my old stuff, and looking for money, just happening upon my collection to tearfully say "he really loved porn."
I don't want the image of me as a cum swallowing whore to be what my loved ones will see when I die. but when web sites put up eulogies like "Blond whore from England is Dead" I kinda figure lifes choices will haunt me in death.
I wouldn't say I exactly "hide" my collection. It's just stored away in large plastic, see-through containers. People could easily find them, if they looked.
As our tastes run more towards feature/couple/classic rather than gonzo I wouldn't mind having some of them displayed on one of the shelves in the bedroom. However with the kids running around & assorted parents coming over for visits, that probably won't be happening any time soon (although we do have a photo from Nina Hartley inscribed to both of us hanging in the bedroom so it may not be that much of a shock to them ).
For now there is a bunch of dvds in a couple of drawers under the bed & assorted toys in a couple of other drawers there. I'm sure that at least the older kids have gotten into them while snooping around. Hopefully it caused them to pour bleach in their ears to try to get rid of the mental image of what mom & dad were doing . Most of the old vhs tapes are in a box in the closet along with binders of dvds that aren't going to be watched much.
My biggest complain with the binder system is that I haven't been able to find sleeves that hold an equal amount of covers & disks. It seems that most of them have 1-2 slots for the covers & 2-6 for the dvds.
Actually, the good thing is that now I have a large, wooden chest of drawers that are a good capacity and so I've moved my entire collection there, locked it and hidden both keys
I still like the idea of a false wall at the back of a closet. Then maybe the loved ones wouldn't find it and it wouldn't be discovered until later by some future occupants of the house.
There's a book store here who buys and trades used porn. He had a box full of VHS tapes, including a number of them that were home recorded (copied). He said somebody brought it in and said it was their brother's, who had died. I started to look through the box, but I couldn't bring myself to buying some dead guy's porn.
That's why I go with the two binder methodology. The disc binder only holds discs (4 discs on each side of a page) and the looseleaf binder holds the corresponding covers. A 3" looseleaf is perfect for a 224 disc binder and a 4" looseleaf is perfect for a 320 disc binder.
I too have bought more porn than I watch. I have upwards of 300 DVDs and started buying when I got into college (heheh) about 5 years ago. When I see new must-have titles come out, I immediately buy them, only to store them away for future viewing. I stopped late last year buying porn just so I can catch up on my viewing.
I like to keep all my DVDs in their original cases. I store them all inside office storage boxes in my closet. One day when my mom was in town visiting, she asked me what was inside those boxes in my closet and I told her old video game magazines. :)
Bearing in mind where I'm from I used to get mail from a lot of guys (x boyfriends and family and such) in prison, if you have ever gotten prison mail you know they decorate the fuck out of it covered in drawings and flowers and shit, well i saved all these letters and a lot of them had swasticas worked into the drawings. I started becoming overwhelmingly concerened about what people would think if they ever found them so i threw them all away some years ago. When I threw out all my porn it was more of OMG what the hell is wrong with me that this is what I like. I was into some sick shit prior to getting into porn. Being in it actually ruined it for me.
Introducing Natasha Carter
Posted - Jun 4 2006 : 1:45PM
. Most of the old vhs tapes are in a box in the closet along with binders of dvds that aren't going to be watched much.