how can i feel equal to others if i didnt have sex

Author	Post
willson Member 7 Posts 12/14	Posted - Dec 5 2014 : 12:15PM Hi.I'm 28, never had party, sex, women and fun as most of all others (except a few times sex at prostitute). My problem now is i dont feel equal to all those who had sex already in highschool and regular sex in years to follow. I just can't and therefor i dont have any will to live anymore. Can't find motivation for anything if i know all people had so much more from youth then me. Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high scool. Because i didnt have sex, i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel all are much better then me, on higher level and i'm not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others. Its terrible if i go into the shopping center and see in 2 hours hundreds of women with which i would like to have sex and i know i didnt have such interesting past as them. Those thoughts are eating me up every single day, all day. I was also at therapist, but didnt help. Nothing cant take away the facts, that i'm not on same level as those girls who are having sex since high school, were on so many parties and so on. For them its normal to have a penis in their hands, or mouth, for me this is science fiction and somebody who is 12 years behind in my opinion can never again be same worth as person who alived all those things in normal years (18-24). Sex is the highest thing in live and if you dont have it you havent lived. Therefor i dont know what to do, because there is no way out to feel the same worth as those people anymore :( [Link]
Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 5 2014 : 4:50PM If a therapist didn't help, I don't know what we can say. But -- there are lots of girls who didn't have sex morning noon and night, frontwards, backwards, upside-down and sideways. Find a shy girl. If you refuse to approach a girl and do anything, then smart, funny, experienced good-looking girls who can have anybody they want are not going to seek you out in overwhelming numbers. On the other hand, the game is not over. Just start now. Find a shy girl. If you won't have a girl because she is not the hottest girl ever, then don't be surprised if girls don't approach a guy who is not the hottest guy ever. Find an appropriate match and do something about it. There is nothing we can do to make it happen. [Link]
Macko69 Senior Member Gone for a walk. 1985 Posts 5/08	Posted - Dec 5 2014 : 8:50PM ^I don't know if it's a good idea for him to try to find a shy girl. If he isn't much of a conversationalist and he tries to talk to a shy girl, it might end up being an awkward situation and reinforce his feelings of hopelessness. When it comes to meeting women, I was a late bloomer as well. I went to an all boys school, so that certainly contributed to my inability to relate to the opposite sex. First couple years in college were pretty terrible for me. I'd see people around me hooking up, and I felt like it was never going to happen to me. I think part of what contributed to my problem was the fact that it was really easy to not think about the fact that I was still a virgin because I could always go back to my apartment and find sexual satisfaction through porn. But after a while, just watching porn by myself wasn't the life I wanted to live so I decided to do something about it. I started by joining organizations at my school. I made an attempt to talk to a lot of people, both guys and girls. My goal was to get comfortable just talking to anyone. It wasn't too long before I started to meet a lot of women and date quite a bit. My advice to the OP is that when meeting women, don't think about dating, love or sex at all. If you think about those kinds of things, it will make you uncomfortable when you talk to others, your discomfort will show. Are you a football fan? Have you ever seen a wide receiver about to catch a ball, but before he even catches the ball, he's looking where he's going to be running? That usually causes him to drop the ball because he wasn't thinking about doing what comes first. Don't think about where you want to be (which is probably in her pants), but think only about what you're doing at that very moment. You are NOT trying to pick up a girl, you are simply talking to someone to get to know them. You might end up liking that person, or maybe you won't, but you really don't know until you get to know that person first. Start off by putting yourself in situations where you'll be around women, like maybe taking a class about something that interests you, joining a service organization, or join any group that does something you may be interested in (a friend dates a lot of women he meets when he goes hiking with groups). Then start off by making conversation with anyone. It's probably best if you open the conversation by asking an open question - which is a question that one can't answer with a simple "yes", "no" or one word answer - and have your question pertain to the activity you're involved in. You may find that the person you're speaking to isn't very interested in having a conversation with you. No big deal, just talk to someone else. One of the mistakes I used to make is that in my classes, I'd spot a girl that I thought was cute. I'd watch her and think about her, and eventually get up the courage to talk to her. But if she didn't want to talk with me, my confidence would get shattered, because in my mind, I had thought of her as a potential partner so it hurt a lot to get rejected. In reality, I knew nothing at all about her. To avoid this, don't ever put anyone "up on a pedestal". No one is any better than you just because they have had a lot of sex or because they're good-looking. Don't ever get hung up on trying to meet any one woman. Just focus on finding things that you're interested in and meeting all kinds of like-minded people who share your interests. You'll build your confidence and women will pick up on that. Eventually, you may be surprised that there will be a number of woman trying to start a conversation with you! [Link]
jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04	Posted - Dec 5 2014 : 9:07PM 1. Try another therapist. They're like doctors in any other profession (or any professional in any other profession): some are better than others, and some are better at certain things than others. If you went to a mechanic and he couldn't fix your car, it doesn't mean the car can't be fixed. 2. What really do you want? Do you want to lose your virginity, or do you want a girlfriend? They aren't the same thing. If you just want to lose your virginity, brothels in Nevada are legal. Prostitution in various parts of Europe and elsewhere in the world is legal. And even though hookers are typically portrayed as cold, cynical machines, there's a difference in the experience from picking up a girl on the street and getting a blowjob in a parking lot, to dealing with a woman in a controlled environment (whorehouse) where people are tested and condoms are used, and the business is more about getting repeat business from happy clients rather than making a quick buck from someone you'll never see again. I'm thinking Kimi may back me up on this--you can find someone who'll work with you. You tell her you're a virgin or next to it, that you have no experience and you want some ride time and tutoring, and she'll be fine with that. 3. You tell a guy that guys are all identical, that they're all self-absorbed, they're all sex addicts, alpha males, they lie, cheat steal, say anything to get what they want, and the guy will say, no--men are all over the spectrum. Some are thoughtful and some are shy and some are smart and some are ethical, and all shades in-between. Tell the same guy that all women are self-absorbed, shallow, they all want guys with big dicks and flashy cars and tight asses and lots of money, and the guy says, yeah, that's right. Well--no. Some are, but a lot of them are not. There are women (a hell of a lot of them) who don't care about penis size unless it's freakishly so. There are women who do not care about your sexual inexperience, because a) you won't be intimidating them with their own inexperience, or b) it's easier to train you to do what they enjoy and not unlearn a lot of bad habits, or c) it's a relief that you aren't out trying to bang every woman you meet. 4. If you want a girlfriend--get out and meet women. The more women you meet, the more likely it is you'll find one who appreciates your strengths and doesn't see your weaknesses as such--or won't put too much value on them. Best single's ad I ever saw from a woman: I don't care what car you drive; I don't care about what you do for a living. [Link]
willson Member 7 Posts 12/14	Posted - Dec 6 2014 : 4:36AM I was already 3 times at prostitute. Was a really, really nice one, i told her all. As a person, and looked also sexy as hell. But this is not real life, therefor i don't wanna go anymore. Its not the game of life, where your worth is defined by how many women want you. Its not really sex what i miss. Its just numbers, so i could tell so and so many women picked me to have sex with them. I just want to lick their beautiful bodies. And i can never say this about my youth, because its gone :( I cant live with the facts, that all those beautiful women had sex regulary and did all the nasty stuff as girls in porn. Because when they did, they are too much over me. Its like running a marathon. I cant win a race if others are already on 37km and i am on 3km. And no, i dont want a shy girl. I am also not really a quiet person. The problem is i dont have joy for anything anymore, because i say myself its all useless to do, if you cant be equal to those girls anymore anyway... Yes, this putting pussy on pedestial probably comes from porn, i watch it since my 10-11 year (not really a lot, 15 min a day). But its not just porn. We see it in EVERY movie, so it is the most important thing in life and i cant deal with it, that i cant be on same level as others in the most important thing on the world... [Link]

matchmaker Senior Member 24914 Posts 4/05	Posted - Dec 6 2014 : 8:40AM ^You shouldn't be depressed over not having sex. The longer you live, the better the chance you'll find someone to date and have sex with! The odds are that you'll eventually meet a woman who's a great match for you. [Link]
Joey Starr Senior Member Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00	Posted - Dec 6 2014 : 1:40PM You should try trannies, no periods, no birth control, just sheer bliss! [Link]
Joey Starr Senior Member Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00	Posted - Dec 6 2014 : 1:41PM matchmaker wrote: ^You shouldn't be depressed over not having sex. The longer you live, the better the chance you'll find someone to date and have sex with! The odds are that you'll eventually meet a cow who's a great match for you. Click to expand That's your opinion and you're entitled to it matchmaker. [Link]
Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 6 2014 : 8:53PM If it's so important to you, do something about it. Nothing is going to be handed to you on a platter. There is no sense pretending there's a magical thing that will change things with no effort on your part. You have to risk rejection, or your other choice is to wallow in misery. It's your choice. I'm not saying these things to be mean. I'm trying to save you a lot of time and trouble. [Link]
matchmaker Senior Member 24914 Posts 4/05	Posted - Dec 7 2014 : 3:40AM Joey Starr wrote: matchmaker wrote: ^You shouldn't be depressed over not having sex. The longer you live, the better the chance you'll find someone to date and have sex with! The odds are that you'll eventually meet a cow who's a great match for you. Click to expand That's your opinion and you're entitled to it matchmaker. Click to expand I didn't say cow. [Link]
willson Member 7 Posts 12/14	Posted - Dec 7 2014 : 2:06PM Pieps wrote: If it's so important to you, do something about it. Nothing is going to be handed to you on a platter. There is no sense pretending there's a magical thing that will change things with no effort on your part. You have to risk rejection, or your other choice is to wallow in misery. It's your choice. I'm not saying these things to be mean. I'm trying to save you a lot of time and trouble. Click to expand This is the problem. I can't do nothing about it :( Whatever i do, i will never have the same worth like girls who had regulary sex in youth, did all the nasty stuff that kids do today :( I cant take this anymore, those facts. [Link]
Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 7 2014 : 9:10PM Okay. You've made the choice to be 38 and have no experience. Whatever. [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02	Posted - Dec 7 2014 : 10:29PM willson wrote: This is the problem. I can't do nothing about it :( Whatever i do, i will never have the same worth like girls who had regulary sex in youth, did all the nasty stuff that kids do today :( I cant take this anymore, those facts. Click to expand Facts? I don't see any facts there. It doesn't matter that you haven't mastered the Kama Sutra. What matters is that you find somebody who cares about you enough to want to have sex with you, which is not the same as fucking you. Having sex isn't like dancing the Tango, and the map is not the territory. What works for both of you can only be learned through exploration and communication. Above all, sex involves trust, because sex makes fools of us all, and if your partner isn't willing to share a laugh over that then you probably don't belong in the same bed. [Link]
willson Member 7 Posts 12/14	Posted - Dec 9 2014 : 9:58AM Is it a fact or not that all beautiful girls had sex in youth? It is, except a few. They are all too much over me because of that. Its like winning 10 golden medals. I have only 2, they have 20. Who is more worth in society...the second. [Link]
Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 9 2014 : 12:44PM What's the point of asking a question, only to ignore all answers? You aren't entitled to a beautiful girl, clearly. This is a conclusion you have drawn. Find some other girl, and get over it. Hopefully she will not be a mope who spends all her time lamenting that she can't have the quarterback or George Clooney, or Adam Levine. The best you can hope for is that she will think you are special (funny, talented, a good dancer, fun to travel with or play chess with, or go to concerts with or SOMETHING). That's where you are in the hierarchy. The best you can hope for is what the vast majority of people have, an average partner who is special to them. Get over it. That's what people do. They mature, and they get a life. [Link]

willson Member 7 Posts 12/14	Posted - Dec 9 2014 : 3:52PM You all dont know how it feels to be so behind. I cant even sleep lately because of this thing. Its always on my mind. Like a tooth pain, when your tooth hurts, but this is pushing on my brain... Whatever i do, nothing will make the facts away, all the joy that girls had durring sex in last years. I simply cant deal with this... I will try now the no fap program without porn. Its 4th day, i dont think i can last. I miss the beautiful bodies... [Link]
Macko69 Senior Member Gone for a walk. 1985 Posts 5/08	Posted - Dec 9 2014 : 8:04PM ^Oh well, I guess you'll die lonely and alone... [Link]
Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 9 2014 : 10:45PM Lots and lots of people are in the same situation. Some are not bothered by it. The situation itself is common. The real problem is being so bothered by it. You need some other interests to take your mind off it, AND you need to start to do something about it. I tell you, nobody else can change the situation but you. And no way are girls going to just flock to you. You need to be interested in various things and you need to be good at something. There is nothing to even talk to a girl about unless you both love Thai food, or you both hang around used bookstores, or you both want to study in Paris or something. You need to be interesting, and to be interesting, you have to have things you are interested in that you know something about. Edited by - Pieps on 12/10/2014 2:21:23 AM [Link]
willson Member 7 Posts 12/14	Posted - Dec 10 2014 : 5:19PM What does other interest bring me, if people are still having sex all the time and raising their numbers. Nothing. I can not reach them :( [Link]
Boogie With Stu Deactivated User 1723 Posts 1/13	Posted - Dec 10 2014 : 5:32PM So your only solution would appear to be to successfully build a time machine. Chances are, you still wouldn't change anything. So you really should start by stop mythologizing sex. You could also stop getting so hung up about this, because I can assure you that to the rest of the world (or at least to anybody worth a damn), this isn't a big deal. It's only a big deal in your mind. You've lived your life and survived up to this point, and if this is the biggest gripe you have in life, I would say you've done okay for yourself. [Link]
Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 10 2014 : 6:35PM What did the therapist tell you? [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02	Posted - Dec 12 2014 : 1:57AM ^ The therapist probably told him that he was having way too much fun complaining to actually do anything about his 'problem'. willson wrote: You all dont know how it feels to be so behind. Click to expand Sorry to break it to you but. fact is, you're about as unique as a one dollar bill. The only difference between you and millions of other guys is that they got their heads out of their asses, and you haven't. Yet. However, you can be just like them, assuming you can pay attention. Granted, the advice isn't going to be what you want to hear, but it is going to be the truth. First - no woman wants to be a point on your scorecard. Just the fact that you're keeping score will suffice to turn most women away from you. So, stop it. Now. Second, you don't need a million women, you just need one. Now, you might have to go through more than a few relationships to get to that one, but that doesn't change the fact that one is all you need. All this 'score keeping' is just juvenile bravado. The rest of us just don't give a shit about your sex life - bedding a thousand women isn't going to impress us, and it won't make you any less of a jerk, or a loser, or whatever your true nature is - good or bad. Third, confidence in yourself, knowing that you can overcome life's adversities, is the goal you need to reach. This is what will make you attractive to women, and it will also cure you of your childish attitude towards women in general and sex in particular. So, stop whining, and get to work. [Link]
willson Member 7 Posts 12/14	Posted - Dec 13 2014 : 6:54PM I cant be anymore like them, because they were so advanced to have many women already at 18,20 or 23. Some even sooner. I can never come on their level, whatever i do now. They touched to many beautiful bodies all those years. I cant take this anymore...the pain of loneliness in the room every day, while others have sex every day and its like nothing special for them... For me its science fiction from other world. And this shows the difference how advanced they are and where behind i am. And therefor i cant be equal unfortunately.. today i am crying at home all day because i cant take it anymore...thinking how others have/had sex... :( and btw, every idiot can get one women somewhere. have been so good in life to be having 10-20-30 women, this is the real success. Being good enough for 30 beautiful women, so they picked you to have sex with them.. Edited by - willson on 12/13/2014 6:56:17 PM [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02	Posted - Dec 14 2014 : 3:09PM More whining from the guy who only values women as sex objects. Got no sympathy for you, chump. [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Dec 15 2014 : 8:36AM ^ +1 [Link]

Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 15 2014 : 12:54PM ^^ +1 and done. [Link]
HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03	Posted - Dec 15 2014 : 9:48PM I'm getting ready to weigh in. [Link]
Joey Starr Senior Member Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00	Posted - Dec 25 2014 : 9:35AM Constipated? [Link]
Carmen Valentina Member Cam with me LIVE on CarmenValentina.com 57 Posts 6/10	Posted - Dec 27 2014 : 12:18AM haha! love me some Frankie Edgar Joey Starr wrote: Constipated? Click to expand [Link]
ltcedricdaniels Member 314 Posts 2/13	Posted - Dec 27 2014 : 6:35AM Macko69 wrote: ^I don't know if it's a good idea for him to try to find a shy girl. If he isn't much of a conversationalist and he tries to talk to a shy girl, it might end up being an awkward situation and reinforce his feelings of hopelessness. When it comes to meeting women, I was a late bloomer as well. I went to an all boys school, so that certainly contributed to my inability to relate to the opposite sex. First couple years in college were pretty terrible for me. I'd see people around me hooking up, and I felt like it was never going to happen to me. I think part of what contributed to my problem was the fact that it was really easy to not think about the fact that I was still a virgin because I could always go back to my apartment and find sexual satisfaction through porn. But after a while, just watching porn by myself wasn't the life I wanted to live so I decided to do something about it. I started by joining organizations at my school. I made an attempt to talk to a lot of people, both guys and girls. My goal was to get comfortable just talking to anyone. It wasn't too long before I started to meet a lot of women and date quite a bit. My advice to the OP is that when meeting women, don't think about dating, love or sex at all. If you think about those kinds of things, it will make you uncomfortable when you talk to others, your discomfort will show. Are you a football fan? Have you ever seen a wide receiver about to catch a ball, but before he even catches the ball, he's looking where he's going to be running? That usually causes him to drop the ball because he wasn't thinking about doing what comes first. Don't think about where you want to be (which is probably in her pants), but think only about what you're doing at that very moment. You are NOT trying to pick up a girl, you are simply talking to someone to get to know them. You might end up liking that person, or maybe you won't, but you really don't know until you get to know that person first. Start off by putting yourself in situations where you'll be around women, like maybe taking a class about something that interests you, joining a service organization, or join any group that does something you may be interested in (a friend dates a lot of women he meets when he goes hiking with groups). Then start off by making conversation with anyone. It's probably best if you open the conversation by asking an open question - which is a question that one can't answer with a simple "yes", "no" or one word answer - and have your question pertain to the activity you're involved in. You may find that the person you're speaking to isn't very interested in having a conversation with you. No big deal, just talk to someone else. One of the mistakes I used to make is that in my classes, I'd spot a girl that I thought was cute. I'd watch her and think about her, and eventually get up the courage to talk to her. But if she didn't want to talk with me, my confidence would get shattered, because in my mind, I had thought of her as a potential partner so it hurt a lot to get rejected. In reality, I knew nothing at all about her. To avoid this, don't ever put anyone "up on a pedestal". No one is any better than you just because they have had a lot of sex or because they're good-looking. Don't ever get hung up on trying to meet any one woman. Just focus on finding things that you're interested in and meeting all kinds of like-minded people who share your interests. You'll build your confidence and women will pick up on that. Eventually, you may be surprised that there will be a number of woman trying to start a conversation with you! Click to expand This is exactly me. Late bloomer, not a virgin, but less experience than I would like at 30. I have to not put women on a pedestal, and just talk to them as human beings. It's been working so far this year. [Link]
DAPistheBEST Deactivated User 36 Posts 8/14	Posted - Dec 27 2014 : 7:54PM willson wrote: I cant be anymore like them, because they were so advanced to have many women already at 18,20 or 23. Some even sooner. I can never come on their level, whatever i do now. They touched to many beautiful bodies all those years. I cant take this anymore...the pain of loneliness in the room every day, while others have sex every day and its like nothing special for them... For me its science fiction from other world. And this shows the difference how advanced they are and where behind i am. And therefor i cant be equal unfortunately.. today i am crying at home all day because i cant take it anymore...thinking how others have/had sex... :( and btw, every idiot can get one women somewhere. have been so good in life to be having 10-20-30 women, this is the real success. Being good enough for 30 beautiful women, so they picked you to have sex with them.. Edited by - willson on 12/13/2014 6:56:17 PM Click to expand This has to be a troll job... am I wrong to think this? [Link]
Pieps Senior Member Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13	Posted - Dec 28 2014 : 11:30AM You'd like to think so. But the ;problem; is common enough. [Link]
Joey Starr Senior Member Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00	Posted - Dec 28 2014 : 12:54PM Yeah you're right, trolling is all over the place those days. [Link]