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Chloe Temple Interview| Author | Post |
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| SunShowers Member  333 Posts 4/08 |  Posted - Aug 25 2010 : 8:00PMNice to talk with you all again. It's been a while. Ok, here's the story. I'm a "nice" girl. I've never been a wild partier, I'm responsible, I have kept a job, I like to read, I love my mom and dad, I try to be kind to people, and I conduct myself as a lady. I'm also a 22 year old virgin and have never had an adult boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm pretty, take care of myself, and dress well. I was an ugly duckling when I was younger, but something happened a few years ago and I've absolutely blossomed. However, I'm so used to being quiet and reserved that now that I'm officially an adult and want to have fun and experience life, I still put off a "don't touch" vibe. This may seem irrelevant to report in regards to my question, but it really does factor into my reaction and fears. I went out with one of my girl friends the other night, and her latest boy toy. I get bored sometimes, and like to go out and drink. Well, this friend and I have known each other since we were about nine or ten. She's nice to me when no one else is around, but gets especially catty and obnoxious when we're around guys. We were drinking a lot and back at his place. He's not her boyfriend, and she even told us both the other night (while we were wrestling with each other for fun) that we should hook up. Well, he and I had been flirting back and forth. I was really attracted to him, which is rare for me to feel that level of animal chemistry, and sitting beside them while they cuddled. He looks over at me and asks me if I want a kiss. I lean forward and kiss him. She suddenly blurts out, "You're a BAD kisser!" First of all, I'm relieved I was as drunk as I was because had I been sober, my mortification level would have been ten times higher. Second of all, I've never been kissed. Ever. So it was my first time, I was really drunk, and I did my best. Even after she said it, he kept kissing me a few minutes, although I wanted to hide my face from everyone. Now, especially since I was starting get bolder and be more flirtacious with guys, my confidence is blown and I'm afraid to kiss anyone. It was terribly shitty of her to say such a thing, because number one, she kept egging us on and trying to get us to touch each other, and number two, she knows I don't have her level of experience. I don't even have experience. The guy didn't seem to mind, and I did a good job blowing the whole thing off, but I'm scared to death now and don't know what to do. I'm pretty, take excellent care of myself, and am a red-blooded horny girl, and now I'm feeling like I'm useless and am going to be a horrible, lame kisser for the rest of my life. I seriously feel traumatized by what happened. So my question (and who better to ask than you of AMT), is how do I keep from letting this from freaking me out and how do I keep from being a bad kisser? Kisses (pun intended), Sunshowers [Link] |
| celluloidferox Senior Member @EmperorCorndog 1438 Posts 1/10 | Posted - Aug 25 2010 : 8:12PM [Link] |
HeyNow  Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03 | Posted - Aug 25 2010 : 9:18PM [Link] |
| Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08 | Posted - Aug 25 2010 : 10:53PM Try doing this the next time you kiss.... Just brush his lips with yours, then press harder into his face and let HIM do the kissing. Some guys will try to ram their tongue down your throat, some guys will lick your lips first pushing deeper into your mouth until your tongues dance simultaneously. Other guys will flick their tongue in and out of your mouth like a lizard. I prefer the tongue dance, anything else is superficial IMO, but that is strictly my opinion. If I were you I would have asked your friend to show me what a good kiss is. [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 2:38AM P.S. -- Your girlfriend is no friend. And she's full of shit. Ditch her. [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 9:59AM Breeze, I'll remember your suggestions. I seriously thought afterwards that I should have challenged the guy after she said that. Something like, "Why don't you show me how to kiss you better?" The thing is, she was already acting so weird and competitive. It was a frustrating night. She'd embarrassed me by acting horrible all night while we were out (being loud and extremely crude in speech, being mean to one of his poor guy friends he'd brought along, and flipping out on this pitiful old guy who tried to talk to us outside a bar), I'd pretty much shut down on her by that point. I wasn't going to get him to myself, and after she said that I just gave up. The atmosphere was crazy. We'd already been flirting with each other, and I was crazy turned on by this guy, and I couldn't get him alone. I was so frustrated. If I hadn't grown up with her, and found her at all attractive, I probably would have initiated something with her just so I could get to him. I really don't want to have to worry about being a bad kisser. That should be the last thing I worry about right now. I had an idea last night. Tell me if this is a good one or not. I have a male friend who is about 40. I've known him about a year, but don't ever really see him, but we talk on facebook a lot. He flirts with me, I flirt a little back. He's a very self-assured, mature guy. He seems to be seriously into me, as he texts me frequently to go out and meet him, and while we were discussing our favorite porn stars, he told me he wants me to watch some with him. That aside, I was thinking I should be upfront with him and basically give him the proposition of teaching me how kissing is done. Just invite him out for drinks and tell him I need someone I can trust (he's in the acting community here, as am I, and knows I'm basically a baby when it comes to men) . I need someone who is old enough, but not too old, who knows a little of how I am, and is sexually open enough to go with it. I need someone I can practice with who KNOWS my predicament and can help me figure it out. Is this a bad idea? I'd rather not do this with someone who's in my line of work, but I don't really know anyone else and trying to locate some random guy might be dangerous. Anyway, thanks for all the suggestions. You're mostly saying just to go with it and not be nervous, which I guess will come with more experience. My big fear, however, is disappointing potentially good mates along the way while I'm still figuring it out. [Link] |
| Savoy All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 10:06AM Maybe he can teach you how to do some other things too. [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 2:12PM [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 2:22PM To not want to fuck you after he's taught you how to kiss? To not make fun of your inexperience? To not to be hurt by you if you don't want to fuck after he's taught you how to kiss? To not hurt you by disappearing after "teaching" you? There are so many possibilities. I think you should try to unpack your "trust" concept a bit. [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 8:24PM Maybe it's not such a good idea after all. It might be too awkward, especially considering that I'm not into him, and I don't want to shit where I eat. He's in my line of work and the pool for that around here is small. I really wish I had someone to practice with though. I NEVER want anyone to say I'm a bad kisser again. Thanks Bob. [Link] |
| jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 9:12PM I think the only way that will work is either he has no personal sensitivity at all, or you don't want to be friends with him afterward. Some guys (like women) enjoy being treated as a piece of meat, but most don't. Edited by - jayo on 8/26/2010 10:59:18 PM [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 9:26PM I guess there's nothing to do but wait for the opportunities to come up and see what happens. I am stressed about it. I'm just furious with my "friend" for reacting that way. What really annoyed me about it is she tried to get me to kiss her before I passed out for the night and I wouldn't do it, and she buried her head in my neck and baby-talked about how she "let" me kiss her boyfriend. For one, yeah, you "let" me kiss your "boyfriend" and made it a totally awkward experience. Number two, you didn't "let" me do anything. He let me kiss him. Number three, he only became your "boyfriend" once he flirted with me and initiated a kiss. I did get to nibble on his ear and neck, and judging by his reaction he was pleased. I'm scarred. And mad. And frustrated. [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 9:45PM Don't be scared -- there's nothing to be afraid of. When you find the guy you want to kiss, the kiss will take care of itself. You've already figured out the neck-and-ear-nibbling thing, so you're clearly tuned in. "Mad" is understandable. [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Aug 26 2010 : 9:50PM [Link] |
| Savoy All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06 | Posted - Aug 27 2010 : 9:10AM At some point, you're gonna have to take a risk or make a "not-so-smart" move. Take a gamble. Jump from the cliff. Whatever. You're so meticulous and careful and always working out some strategy - you better watch out or nothing will happen. Will you hurt the 40-year-old if you don't fuck him? Excuse my callousness - but who cares? It's your body. You can do what you want with it as you please. You shouldn't feel obligated to fuck someone because you kiss him. That's bullshit. And as long as everything is laid out on the table from the beginning, tough shit when he doesn't get laid. And you're not even attracted to him? Then why did you bring him into the equation in the first place? Who wants to make out with someone they aren't attracted to? Gross. I've been reading your contributions here for some time and feel your thinking is a bit fucked-up (you're free to think the same of mine  ). Way too cerebral and not enough gut instinct. Maybe you're not ready for whatever it is you're always searching for and writing about - love, boyfriend, sex - and your way of thinking is just your way of stalling and avoiding. Maybe when you are ready you'll stop approaching it as a puzzle, make a quick tally of your risks and just go for it.Life is messy. Stop trying to make it so neat. You aren't gonna have much fun that way. [Link] |
| jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | Posted - Aug 27 2010 : 2:50PM I'm not arguing against pursuing dreams, or competition, or recreational sex. I do think fucking around with other people's emotions is a bad thing. It's not some stranger you picked up in a bar, it's someone you know. Savvy's right, you can do what you want. But we live in a "I want it, so give it to me" society and that doesn't make the world a better place. Savvy's right again, take chances, do something or nothing may happen. But I argue that there are smart chances and dumb ones. The scenario ^^^^ about involving a friend who has the hots for you will probably end up ugly for both people involved. And I do think you have to have some level of caring over the other person, just out of simple human kindness and the fact that we all have to live here together. There's enough nastiness going on without having to add more to it. My opinion anyway, worth what you've paid to read it. If you're really worried about the kissing question (which started all of this), date a teacher. He'll make you do it over and over until you get it right.  [Link] |
| realtip Deactivated User 2301 Posts 6/04 | Posted - Aug 28 2010 : 1:06AM [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Aug 28 2010 : 10:28AM So, I meet my friend for drinks last night. We have a really good talk, and she seemed genuinely remorseful for saying that to me. Her guy calls and wants to meet us, so he comes. Then we go back to his place and spend the night. She was on her best behavior and quite sweet. I didn't get anywhere with him. I did, however, feel a little validated because I ended up being slobbered to death by this 38 year old who lives there. So, at least I know there are worse kissers out there. He wouldn't keep his hands off me all night to the point where I was having to hide from him, which definitely took my fun level down a notch. Me, being sloshed as hell and wanting a hard body, hugged him a few too many times earlier in the evening. I ended up watching tv in his bed with him, and he nuzzled me a bit, cuddled on me, and me being horny and drunk, straddled him and nipped on his neck for a few seconds. Once I realized what I was doing (plus I heard my friend heading towards the room) I jumped off him and went downstairs. I feel bad about that because I think I led him on a little bit, unintentionally, and he came downstairs after that and seemed really riled up and mad. I was just so drunk and trying to listen to my instincts instead of my head for once. I'm passed out in a heap on the couch this morning, and he tugs on my hand and wakes me up. I didn't know how to extricate myself without making things awkward. But he says he just wants to cuddle, and I go up there and cuddle with him a little bit. Suddenly he rolls me into him, traps my face, and tongue fucks me for several seconds. It was hard for me to keep from laughing because it was AWFUL. I was just not into him, there was no heat or technique to what he was doing, and he was way too slobbery and sloppy. I tried, though, to take advantage of an opportunity to learn, so I tried to be responsive. I even gave a nice suck on his lower lip, which made me quite proud of myself! I'm learning! But ugh. How awkward. It was so not sexy that I even opened my eyes and peeked at him. Plus, we both had morning breath, and me being the OCD clean freak I am didn't want to either endure his or inflict mine. Wow. [Link] |
| realtip Deactivated User 2301 Posts 6/04 | Posted - Aug 28 2010 : 11:18AM Edited by - realtip on 8/28/2010 11:19:17 AM [Link] |
| Savoy All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06 | Posted - Aug 28 2010 : 2:20PM [Link] |
| Savoy All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06 | Posted - Aug 28 2010 : 2:33PM If she were to lie and say she wants to date him or spend time with him, get to know him, be closer - then yeah, that's selfish and cruel, but that was not the approach I was thinking about as I wrote. But it's all a moot point anyway... :) (and I'm glad you're back from your hiatus) [Link] |
| jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | Posted - Aug 28 2010 : 6:11PM [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Aug 28 2010 : 7:16PM Thanks to everyone who responded. I'm not going back there until probably Monday night or Friday. I'm hoping the next time we do get together, we'll just go out. I don't want anything to happen with this guy, and with just the four of us at the house we kinda get thrown together. He's a really nice guy. I got really hungry at like 3 in the morning and he got up and made me a pizza. Which was really sweet. I'm just not going to lose my virginity in that kind of environment, and I'm not attracted to him. It sucks because I love hanging out over there, but I'm afraid I'm going to be put in a situation. [Link] |
| lunacyagain Member Somewhere between Heaven & Hell 33 Posts 3/06 | Posted - Aug 29 2010 : 6:20PM As far as kissing, it's hard to give advice on that one, every person you kiss will do it differently. I can say though, restrain the slobber and try not to suffocate you partner. Slow down and make it sensual and enjoyable, not some face mash. If you can find a guy that will "teach you" go for it! Why not? There are no rules. Just be careful you don't get yourself in a situation where the guy is expecting or will push you for more. Talk about it beforehand and be sure you trust him. [Link] |
| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Sep 6 2010 : 3:16PM You want to make good judgments, in fact, it seems really important to you to control the situation. Instead, you make poor judgments and make the excuse of being really drunk. Maybe you've been told to loosen up and just let go, but clearly that's not who you are. Slow down, step back, review what's been going on and see where it's going to lead. If that's not where you want to go, change course. It may be hard to avoid being drunk if that is the crowd you run with, but from what you say, it sounds like it would suit you better to slow down, stick to a drink or two to loosen up, and relax. You're trying too hard. You may be in the wrong places with the wrong people. You are on course to meet crude drunken guys. [Link] |
| Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14594 Posts 3/02 | Posted - Sep 7 2010 : 2:09AM Do you dance? Are you a good dance partner? If the answer to these questions is yes then don't worry about it because you already know what is important. Your 'friend' may denigrate you because you don't act like a wanton woman in public but that doesn't mean anything. Just get into the groove with that guy you really want to kiss and things will be fine. [Link] |
| RandomPrecision Senior Member Enjoy! 8175 Posts 3/06 | Posted - Sep 9 2010 : 7:41PM [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Sep 11 2010 : 3:34AM We've been going out a lot lately. Tonight, we went to a club. On the way back, my "friend" starting fondling my tits. Like, literally reaching her hands inside my shirt and playing with my nipples. Then, she sunk her teeth into my left shoulder, which really hurt. She did it two more times. The third time, we were parked at a gas station and I got out of the car and started walking. The bad kisser guy who'd been after me was driving and he told me he wouldn't pick me up if I left the car. Me, being the inexperienced stupid girl I am, didn't believe him. I was left walking for half an hour on a road, with people honking and pulling over and trying to pick me up, and he never came back for me. Finally, her bf, the guy I kissed and she told me i was a bad kisser, called me and asked where I was. 15 minutes later, he came to get me. I am so, so, so, so tired of not having anyone in my life who gives a shit. ANYONE I can trust. I certainly can't trust men. This guy, who left me, had been all over me, bought me two drinks, and left me on the side of the road. And the AMAZING thing is that I've been good. My "friend," he hates. She has a horrible, irreverent mouth, she annoys everyone she's around, she's an all around trashy snail trail, and I've always been respectful. I listen to him vent about work. I'm not a classless whore. I'm nice and considerate. I'm pretty and affectionate. He leaves me on the side of the road. And she goes along with it. All this does is teach me to distrust people and be suspicious and out for me. I was walking on a road at 2 in the morning by myself. I will never trust another man again at face value, as a woman trusting a man not to leave her on the side of the god damn road. Thank God her bf was decent enough. I am slowly being turned into a class A bitch. That is all. I'm over it. [Link] |
| HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03 | Posted - Sep 11 2010 : 11:31AM [Link] |
| Savoy All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06 | Posted - Sep 11 2010 : 4:24PM I know you never respond to what I write, but I'm sharing anyway. If you didn't want to be around them, you should have called a friend or a cab to take you home. Why did you get back in the car? Why did you start walking down the road in the first place? That was fuckin' stupid. Ya also shoulda listened to what Bob wrote and ditched that bitch weeks ago, but I have a feeling you aren't looking for true advice, just shoulders to cry on. Carry on. [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Sep 11 2010 : 5:03PM 2. Getting out of the car was fucking stupid, but I was also drunk as hell, mad, and had a huge gash torn into my shoulder from her teeth. She wouldn't quit biting or groping me, so I got out of the car. Stupid? Most definitely. But understandable? At the time, yes. If you could see my shoulder right now, you'd understand. My left shoulder is a mass of purple/red teeth imprints. 3. You're right. I am looking for a place to vent. I'm never seeing this stupid bitch again, so advice isn't needed. I just can't believe that bastard left me on the road like that. This is a guy who doctored a wound on my arm, made me a pizza at 3 in the morning because I was hungry, and laid in bed and caressed my ears, lips, and hair for an hour one night. I was shocked. [Link] |
| realtip Deactivated User 2301 Posts 6/04 | Posted - Sep 12 2010 : 12:13PM This type of behavior shouldn't shock you considering what you've previously told us about these people. I agree that continuing to hang out with them was bad judgement on your part. Cutting off all contact with them is a very good idea. [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Sep 13 2010 : 3:03AM -------------  [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Sep 14 2010 : 9:31AM [Link] |
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