BTW - congrats :)

Edited by - stephdunn on Jun 22 2001

[Link]

Assuming you're both keen to go ahhead, this is my advice. Feel free to ignore it, and I make no guarantees. What works for one person may not work for another and so such...

Assuming your relationship is much more important than a single shag with two ladies, you'll want to take everything sloooolwy and have mucho communication. Talk-talk-talk with your girl and make sure you're both comfortable with every step of the way. If something happens that one of you is uncomfortable with, STOP. And Talk. More.

Step One: Finding a Girl:

As Steph suggested, you can try hiring the services of a professional. That's one option and there's nothing wrong with it. I'll simply offer some advice on another option...

You can try finding someone appropriate through Internet swingers/personals websites, or the local sex papers in your area. Some of this is harder in a smaller place, but you have to work with what you have.

Another way is to go to a swingers club together - scary places often full of mutant humans, but as long as you go intending NOT to jump the first thing with a pulse and compatable body parts that walks past you should be ok, if uncomfortable.

To find swingers clubs in you area, best bet is to use the websites and sex papers above, or even ask in your local adult shoppe. Yes it might be embarassing to ask but look at it this way - you don't know the clerk there so who gives a rat's what they think? You're the one with the girlfriend interested in exporing new things, so who's the one "winning"?

Another option is to visit a "mixed" nightclub, that is, one that has a gay and straight clientele mixed in together.

With all of these options, it's important that your girlfriend is involved though, after all, your girl has to find her attractive as well, and a great deal fo fun can be had "checking out" people together. Keep both of you involved. After all, it's not like there are a pile of porn-model-looking girls walking around the streets looking for couples to shag. "hmm.. I'll have Tera Patrick this weekend, or if she's not available try to get Silvia Saint.."

Step Two: First Contact:

Ok, so you have met your prospective girl and you basically all like each other. This is where I take a different direction. Assuming you're not threatened by your girlfriend having sex with another woman, - because a lot of men will accept this in a way they could not accept their giel having sex with another man - then let the two of them have sex, without you there.

Yes, you want to have a menage'a'tois, but this isn't about YOU at this stage, it's about making both girls comfortable with each other. One of the better ways to achieve this is to let your girlfriend enjoy the other girl without a hairy, smelly man being around to distract either of them -or make the other girl feel uncomfortable-.

If all goes well, you'll hear all about it afterwards and manage to have some great sex with your girl. You'll also want to do a great deal of talking at this stage, and examine both of your feelings' carefully.

Step Three: Where do we go from here?

Assuming all is well, the next time that sex is had, you can be there as well. This time, again it's not about YOU, it's about -your girlfriend-... penetrating the second girl is not the objective here, it's to make your girlfriend have a great time above all else. So essentially the aim here is to have sex that resembles a Raquel Darrian/Derirck Lane/Porn Girl scene.

This is to say that both you and the other girl concentrate on your girlfriend, you screw your GF while the girls go at it, you go down on your GF while she goes down on the other girl, but you don't neccecarily do anything to the other girl.

This will reassure your girlfriend that she comes first.
This will reassure the other girl that you are NOT just some hairy ape hellbent on porking her senseless.

Something good here (or perhaps in the next meeting) is for both your girlfriend and yourself to go down on the other girl at the same time, so you can kiss each other and wink/smile/giggle while you both share the licking..

Step Four: The Great Unknown

After you all get to this stage, you should be able to communicate to each other how you're all feeling pretty well, and you'll know if it's "safe" for you to go "all the way" with the other girl in a 3-way with your girlfriend.

Yes, it's slow, but it's a careful way to go about it while trying to minimise the risk to your relationship, and really, it's a lot of fun.

To quote my esteemed colleague, Dr Frank-N-Furter:
"I see you trembling, with an-ti-ci....

...pation!"

Edited by - Dr Zaius on Jun 25 2001

[Link]

"Yes, you want to have a menage'a'tois, but this isn't about YOU at this stage, it's about making both girls comfortable with each other. One of the better ways to achieve this is to let your girlfriend enjoy the other girl without a hairy, smelly man being around to distract either of them -or make the other girl feel uncomfortable-."

God, where were you when I did my "Double Dildos Review"?
I would only add 'loud' to hairy and smelly.

Thanks again Doctor, and welcome to the forums!

[Link]