Would like to hear from the ladies. I try to be a good lover and practice as much foreplay to prepare my female friends for intercourse, but I don't seem to be doing it right. Some girls say I hurt them or didn't excite them enough or at all which I try to digitally stimulate them. One even said I gave her a blister! I read somewhere that she liked to be stimulated at 11:30 with the clit being 12:00. Does that mean the clitoris shouldn't be touched at all for best results? Could it be that us guys are thinking all wrong when we think of the little pink bud as a mini-penis? Please girls, we guys want to please so any advice or tips you have for us dumbbells would be greatly appreciated.
Well, think of it as having the same number of nerve endings as a penis, but on much less real estate. It's sensitive. Like a guy's balls. Don't hammer and press. There's a reason why women like a nice soft tongue.
It's more for soft stroking, often next to, but not on, or just tugging gently at the labia, etc. The whole area should be wet down with wet fingers and tongue, with different pressures.
Heck, go look here, and keep in mind, just doing one thing is as dull as a woman who only bobs up and down while giving head. And the most important thing isn't a particular technique, it's observing the other person for their reactions -- look for the same moaning and changes in breathing and tensing or relaxing that you'd expect guys to exhibit when they are most enjoying themselves. Different people are aroused by different things, so the clit is not a magic doorbell.
lindi is right. Different people are aroused by different things or different approaches. I have found some that are extremely sensitive there, so rubbing (or licking) had to be very gentle and loving. Some others wants lots of rubbing, and fairly hard on the clit to get going.
The clue had also been give by lindi - observe the other person and you will see when what you are doing is having an effect.
!!!!!! Lindi there can never be too many !!!! marks after that comment!!!! And yeah keep it fun and playful, kiss, love, cherish all the other gorgeous bits of your sweetie before heading south. Build up and tease can be plenty of fun.
Just remembered, The Joy Of Erotic Massage from the Sinclair Institute has some wonderfully explicit genital massage techniques for both sexes.It's a beautifully made "educational" DVD featuring two attractive couples.
Mistimed Don't despair a three minute love gone hard
.....The "magic doorbell"....I like that! From my own experience, and albeit, not much..when it comes to women, I found the best thing to do was talk to them prior to any sexual advances, and ask what they like or dislike....and they should not hesitate to give a bit of guidance if need be, of course you have to be receptive to a bit of constructive criticism. It kind of makes everything smooth sailing, so to speak. I also put emphasis on reading the "The Hite Report"(study on womans sexuality) by Shere Hite.....I learned a lot by taking the time to read this book....no woman is exactly the same, they all like different things, that is the fun part(its also the learning part too)....E
Sorry, that article was long and boring. Except for the part about the silly penis tricks - that was cute. I can't express how tired I am of "sensitive lover" literature. Been there, read that, burned the t-shirt. I don't care how wonderful a partner has been before he/she gets me in bed, we're there now - I want something good.
I'm not saying don't be a sensitive partner, just that all the sensitivity and comunication in the world isn't gonna help if you haven't got a clue. Put down all the warm and fuzzy baloney and go read some medical, health, and anatomy texts.
A simple clue, from me to you, the single greatest mistake men make that I have noticed: They manage to do something right, the female (myself in this case) says, "oh yeah, that's perfect", and they think doing it harder and faster must be better - thereby ruining the whole thing. Don't say, "that falls into the listening to your partner category", no they heard me. It's just a manly interpretation. A LOT of men like very firm, rapid stimulation. Yeah, well, that's a lot of men, maybe it's not a lot of women. It's definitly not me.
The single greatest mistake I've noticed with women, and I'll include myself, because I've done it, too: They manage to do something right, the female (not necessarily myself, but myself included) says, "oh yeah, that's perfect", and they are so distracted by the compliment that they forget what they just did and never figure it out again.
Ah, Kimi. You must remember that in porn-speak, "oh yeah, that's perfect" means "stop that right now!" Just watch any porn movie and you'll see it's true.
Often something that hurts, or is at least uncomfortable or 'too much' can be perfectly fine after sufficient arousal. I think this applies equally to men and women and is important because in reverse something that took her over the edge last time might seem clumsy and painful to her if its success leads you to try it too early on in the arousal stakes next time.
I always feel that getting my girlfriend off is a little like going through the gears on a vehicle with each step a logical progression and having to start slowly and only move on once the time seems right. It is very important to not rush things and if you find things that can make a girl cum hold them back. Several times I've ended up playing all my trump cards, so to speak, utilised all the things that can trip her into orgasm but done them too early and left myself with no more tricks up my sleeves and with my hands and tongue wheeling away feverishly like I'm trying to control some kind of fantasy victorian time machine!
"The single greatest mistake I've noticed with women, and I'll include myself, because I've done it, too: They manage to do something right, the female (not necessarily myself, but myself included) says, "oh yeah, that's perfect", and they are so distracted by the compliment that they forget what they just did and never figure it out again."
This sounds like my perpetual search for the correct golf swing technique.
I believe that the best tool a lover can use is....communication!!!! and talking about sex can be soooo stimulating. Engage the primary sex organ (the brain) prior to engaging your genitals and things will be much better. It is like trying to start out in 3rd gear rather than 1st......pretty hard to do and usually pretty rough. Ellis had a good point there.....do your homework, know what you are working with and where to find what. I read the Hite Reports and learned soooo much that I did not know about my own anatomy. I am not saying that you have to know how to dismantle and rebuild a motor before you can drive a car, but it does help to know where the gas and brake pedals are.....lol
