Edited by - bigdick on 12/11/2004 9:22:00 PM

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"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling

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SNP.

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i'm lucky, i guess. my girlfriend is very open about her body - we're both very open people, sexually. and she has performed "a2m" blowjobs on me but, it's not something we make a habit of. i mean, we're very open but seriously, would you want to lick something which has been up your ass?

but, it's an experience. but 99.9% of woman won't do anal sex, let alone "a2m" blowjobs! and i can see why, even though i love anal sex but, the majority of people in this world aren't comfortable with their sexually/bodies, like we are. which is very sad.

all i can say is, try to be as open as you can with yourself and your girlfriend/wife, about you and your partner's sexuality.

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Back to the topic at hand. Like many things in my life, it just kind of happened, so there was no convincing on my part. Kind of puts me off, really. Not being my idea or a kink of mine, a follow-up kiss was slow in coming.

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One of the answers given is that he should just come out and ask her. I think asking a question is only a good bet once you have a fair idea that you'll get the answer you are looking for. Once you ask her, if she says 'no' then that is pretty much the end of it. For her to change from a 'no' to a 'yes' she now not only has to change her mind but has to backtrack on her previous position which for 101 different reasons she may be unwilling to do.

I never used to eat prawns. When I went to university my housemates used to go on and on about trying prawns and the more I went on the more adamant I became that i would not even try them. None of their arguments made any impact, reason went out the window and the issue became more about maintaining my position for its own sake than anything else. One night we went out for A Chinese take-away and I had a pancake roll: some pointed out to me they contained prawns and lots of them. At this point I realised that I had in fact been eating prawns for years but just never realised it.
The point was that the thought of prawns was nowhere near the reality but once I had nailed my flag to the mast prawns were totally off the menu (I eat them all the time now).

Your girlfriend may have issues with A2M right now that would lead to a 'no' answer. My point is that if those issues are addressable if you can find out what they are address them before actually putting her on the spot. If you don't you might find that once the 'no' has been uttered even if her fears were allayed totally it might not make the damndest bit of difference.

I'd personally go along with the view that you should just let whatever happens happen. If she is happy doing it she will do it - it will happen. When you do anal does she ever bring you off with her hand afterwards? All you can do is bring about that kind of situation and maybe one time when she feels sufficiently carried away with the situation she may do as you hope. I wouldn't force it though, giving her head a suggestive push in the right (or wrong as she may perceive it) direction again is like 'asking the question'; great if you get a 'yes'; the endo the road if you get a 'no'.

Do you watch porn together? Porn might not be real life but I can't help but think that seeing girls on film doing this thing will make it seem less to her like she is the only person on the face of the planet indulging in such a pastime.

Look, I do understand what you are saying Steph, I just don't see why we have to treat everything in the sexual arena different to everything else. Let me tell you about my day.
This morning my gf wanted to go shopping in Leeds (about an hours drive away) and she wanted me to go with her (and drive so I pay the fuel LOL). The very first act of the day was that she 'kindly' brought me tea and toast whilst I was in bed. This act of kindness is not unknown in our household but I guarantee you the reason she did it was because she thought 'how do I get my boyfriend up so he can take me to Leeds?'. Not only did this work but I very much doubt she tempered her desire to shop until she dropped in any way by considering the undoubted risk she put me through by way of me being in a car at 80mph on a motorway for a little over an hour in each direction.
I know she cares for me and it perturbs me not one jot that she won't have considered the danger of me dying on the roads today to sate her shopping lusts. I could, after all, have always said no (yeh, and never heard the last of it!!!).

SNP.

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ATM? Has always stood for Automatic Teller Machine...good for shopping.

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I would like to say several things about this topic though. (CJ and skronker have created a monster in me!!)

I do agree with croy that most men probably are not aware of the health risks of certain sex acts such as ATMs. Porn makes it look like most everything in it is nothing. I mean, DV or DA looks like nothing but you KNOW that's got to hurt badly, at least the first few times. Plus, I know it's not exactly healthy for people to do either.

However, the best thing to get to do to get any girl to do anything, IS to talk to her about it. Honestly. To see how she feels about it. Sometimes a girl may WANT to do something, and you might have expressed the want for her to do it, but she might feel she has to say no because it's too "dirty" and she doesn't want to be seen in that light. Sounds weird but might be true. I've known a lot of women that have talked to me about it. (Why is it when girls find out I'm in the business everyone needs to ask me a million questions about sex?? LOL) Perhaps you should be sure she knows that you wouldn't feel that way about her if she WERE to do it.

Allen, if your girlfriend knows you really want her to do it, and it'd really turn you on to see her do an ATM, then I'd think if you left it at that, on her own she'd eventually get to the point of being able to do it, and most importantly really WANTING to do it.

And if I've offended anyone, then I apologize. This is one of those half tired ramblings I've warned about. I just have had SO many people ask me this type of question that I've felt compelled to answer.

Edited by - sunchen on 12/21/2004 12:16:26 AM

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That is the funny thing about relationships. On some level most of us know this one - talk honestly. But in so many cases both sides try to manipulate to get the results they want. Not that ATMs aren't an awkward subject.
As somebody pointed out on an ADT thread, women's magazines are full for articles on how to get 'your man' to do something. Some of those are pretty hilarious. I don't ever recall seeing - "talk honestly and openly". Guys of course, are guys. For instance, everything I learned has been from drinking with guys in bars or porn forums .

Really, porn and entertainment in general give some pretty unrealistic expectations to those who don't think a little more. Porn makes it look like anal is just ramming a cock into an ass. TV/movie make it look like any slob should just say 'hi' before getting sex from the hottest woman in the room. If he doesn't, he is a complete loser/jerk.

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I know what you mean about those women's magazines. They may work for some people, but I personally don't like reading them at all. I DO think those articles are basically just suggesting petty manipulation, when they ought to be encouraging communication. Oh well. What the hell do I know, my favorite magazine is a men's magazine...Maxim or it's Euro affiliate FHM.

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SNP.
*********************
Sir Noel you Funny funny man.

BB

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So please, realise that this isn't comparable to being goaded into going shopping or picking your socks up off the floor. Nor is any sexual act, in reality.

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For starters, how exactly is my girlfriend risking intestinal parasites? Intestinal parasites are transmitted through faeces, I'll readily admit that, but to catch them off her own faeces she'd have to be infested anyway LOL! Surely you can see your argument here is a total nonsense?
Secondly, the risk of infection from poisioning/bacteria etc is greatly overplayed. As I've said on here many times before your immune system has developed over tens of millions of years to cope with bacterial attack, especially in things you consume orally. I'll accept if you are, immature, elderly, infirm or pregnant your threshold to these bugs might place you in danger but if you have a healthy immune system, and especially if you are not one of those who wraps themselves in a sterilised sanitised lifestyle, you have nothing to fear.

I know what you are going to tell me though 'ask any doctor and they'll tell you its dangerous'. Doctors play safe and tell you virtually everything is dangerous. I post on a fitness/bbuilding forum and the amount of people who report that their doctors have told them not to squat or deadlift because they are dangerous exercises, despite the fact millions of people do them routinely for decades of their lives with no ill effects. I always take what doctors say with a pinch of salt - most doctors are generalists, not specialists, and simply parrot on to you what they were taught in medical school.

thanks,
SNP.

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Edited by - respect on 12/18/2004 7:37:08 AM

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SNP - driving is not something easily avoided. it's a requirement of modern living in most places. ass to mouth is not. shopping, on the other hand, is totally unnecessary.

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The point i wish to put to you though is that this is not just some act in the margins performed exclusively by the two ladies mentioned but something seemingly performed thousands of times by thousands of performers each year. I'm afraid I my 'evidence' here is on fairly weak ground but just compare the two acts A2M and A2P as reported here on ADT.
I don't follow all the threads on these subjects but despite the fantastic numbers of discussions involving, or centred on, A2M the only reference I can recall to any infection was Amee Donovan who caught pinworm (obviously during a 2 girl scene). Maybe I have missed a few along the way but, in my mind, given the prevalance of this act nowadays the lack of any kind of outcry over the huge numbers of young women becoming infected suggests that huge numbers of women are not becoming infected.
Now contrast this with far rarer threads on A2P and as well as the unfortunate Amee (who also suffered several infections this way IIRC) in more recent times Melissa Lauren has said she was nearly sent sterile and Kami (who I have not heard ever mention any infection through her multitudinous A2M scenes) has stated that she seems to be 'unlucky' and gets infected nearly every A2P she does! What I draw from this is even more weight to my argument that if A2M was a serious risk for these ladies (and I accept that maybe their prep is more thorough than the average girl in the average sexual encounter) we would have had far more grist to add to this particular mill.

SNP.

PS: I just wanted to add that this is one of these great Halleys comet type of subjects that just keeps coming back around every 6 months. Thinking about it, it was also the topic that took my virginity here on ADT

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A few months back, we had a thread on here where Katja Kassin and a couple of other first rank porn girls, who do lots of anal, and lots of a2m's and a2p's, talked about the hygienic routines they go through to prepare for these shoots. They talked about the colonics, specialized enemas, sitz baths, dietary considerations, rectum "stretching" procedures, and other actions they take to minimize health risks for themselves. And to have an "uneventful" film shoot that might have to be excised or re-shot, if there are unintended accidents or difficulties.

Even if girls like Katja and Belladonna have done them hundreds of times, they are professionals and their care and preparation for these activities is much more than what people do in the normal sexual encounter going on out in society. Even in marriages or committed relationships.

As much as I love seeing a2m's and a2ogm's in my porn, and though the thought of it in real life is also exciting, I've never pulled my dick out of any of the female asses that I've been privildeged enough to have found my way into, and felt completely at ease with the idea of it going directly into her mouth. Hence, I've never asked. Even if we were both fresh out of the shower and as clean as we're gonna get.

It's funny, given the appropriate level of cleanliness, I don't have any problem rimming her, and I love getting rimmed, but without the kinds of preparations these porn stars go through, (the real pros anyway), which are really not practical in real life, I'm just not as comfortable with a2m's.

BSD

Edited by - BSD on 12/19/2004 2:45:52 AM

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Edited by - nietzsche on 12/19/2004 6:06:04 AM

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A bit of A2M can look quite hot in porn IMHO, even though I've seen enough of it now to last me a lifetime.
But everything had better be as clean as at all possible. Dirty A2M? Urgh!
A2M in real life is a different kettle of fish entirely. The required preparations would kill any spontaneity.
Licking some lady-bottom is more my thang. Though that's probably dangerous as hell too. ::sigh::

A2P on the other hand always made cringe and hit the FF button. "Danger Will Robinson, Infection!"

Non condom anal can lead to some nasty shit for the guy too unless some thorough clean-up follows.
Talk about fire down below. Yikes.

I suppose the pussy would be even more susceptible to infection than the cock seeing as the latter is more easily scrubbed clean.
Didn't Ron Jeremy state that he washed and pissed twice immediately after any anal scene?

Remember guys, after you hump her seat, wash your meat, keep it neat.

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BSD, you rock. That's all I can say.

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Hell, I just had a few beers and watched some porn, then it was ATM city. But, of course, I'm not your typical female.

And as expressed previously, it's not the safest thing to do. So, proceed with caution.

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I'm very careful in my private life and I would never stick the dick from my ass right in my pussy (baby wipes are always on the nightstand) - not on purpose at least, but accidents happen sometimes. A2P gives me the nastiest bacterial infections that hurt as hell and I can't work for 3-5 days. I would also never have anal sex without preparing myself for in. If there is no time for enema (takes between 30-60 minutes), I will just stick to the old fashion way of pussy fucking...

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SNP.

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Since were at DEFCON 4 and anything goes!!!

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1. How can you really compare a rim job with ass-to-mouth? The first is licking the outside , an area that can be quite easily cleaned through a simple shower with soap and water. The other is sucking an object that has been in the rectum, an area that you cannot ever actually "wash" in the same sense that one washes the outside of the body.

2. I've seen the claim that it's quite normal, no big deal, to eat some fecal residue. Well, if it's so normal, then why do our brains interpret the smell of shit to be so nasty and repulsive? Is that not a basic instinct, to say "Yuck! Don't get this near your face, let alone in your mouth!"

3. About persuading anyone to do anything sexually: How can you really say anything more than "How do you feel about (insert name of activity here)?" Then have a dialogue from there. If it's something neither of you have done, say you'd like to try it with them. Leave it at that. Respect your beloved/belusted one's boundaries! It may sound like a cliche, but it's true.

Would you like an example? I like period sex, but my husband hates it. So guess what? I go without. Is it so important to me that I need to make an issue out of it? No.

Edited by - Ivory on 12/28/2004 1:10:34 AM

Edited by - Ivory on 12/28/2004 1:42:13 AM

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