I met this woman awhile back, about 2 months ago. We've been seeing each other a little bit here and there. She's the first woman I have seen more than three times since I got a divorce. Well, anyway she called me up friday evening asking me what I was doing, I told her I was going to go hang out with some friends. She asked me if I could see her later, I said sure. To make a long story short, the night was great, we went dancing at a club. I was the perfect gentleman all night. The reason I tell you this is because it seems to me that all women prefer to go out with assholes, and tend to regard good guys as pushovers. The woman I was with looks like one of those high maintenance types. Real pretty, money, good clothes and all of that. I thought I would be dissapointed after a few dates and move on. That didn't happen, and now since she's gotten a hold of me, I have a constant hardon.
She's 39, I'm 32. Not that that is any real significance. Anyway, back to the night at hand. We shut down the bar, and as we're walking out, she tells me she wants hot sex when we get home. She talks dirty to me all the way home. When we get back to her place, it's on. We basically tore each other's clothes off. I guess we screwed for about an hour or so. Not sure really but it did take quite some time, I just wanted to be really sure she was satisfied, and since it had been so long since I have actually had sex I wasn't about short myself of all the pleasure. Well, when we're finished we get and go to the kitchen for a bite and head back to the bedroom. About an hour passes, and she's begging me to finger her, then after a while she demands that I eat her out. Then she's telling me to fuck her hard. We finish that, and it's not 15 min later she telling me to finger her, eat her and fuck her again. I know I a least fucked her 7 times but I'm willing to bet it was over 10. My ex wife would have never been up for something like that. This woman is fantastic, She's loads of fun, in and out of the bed. I have been with some great women in bed, and 2 shitty ones. Charmaine takes the cake. She tells me what she likes, how she wants it. She likes to talk dirty to me, she tells me I'm sweet. She's great!
Sounds like I'm whipped don't it? I'm not. I haven't even had good sex since I got married. For whatever reason, my wife turned into a prude as soon as she said I do. She used to let me fuck her in the ass, and all kind of crazy shit. Never again once we got married. Hell, she wouldn't even snuggle in bed with me. Charmaine seems to like everything that I do, and maybe more.
I do have one question though. At some point during the night, when I was fingering her she asked me to goose her. I said, "what?" and she repeated it. I asked what that meant, and she said never mind. Has anyone ever heard of this, or have any idea what this means?
I don't think I'm all that in bed either, I try real hard and I do my best to pay attention to the woman for signs of pleasure or discontent. She is definately the one who had me going so much, and I felt like I could've kept going for a couple of more hours at least. But, she couldn't take it anymore, I am fairly endowed. Saturday night we went at it some more but she was too sore. We did however, make up for it on sunday.
"I rather my women shake than rattle" -DigitalDave
Congratulations on your passage out of the desert!!! HAVE FUN! You obviously are.
Charmaine sounds like a very hot woman. Also a hungry one, like you, at the moment. Wonderful!!!
Seven times is pretty damn impressive!! Well done. My personal overnight record is 11, but I was 17. I was also bloody by the morning and so perhaps was she. Ah, the craziness of youth.
It's pretty obvious that she decided she was gonna have sex Friday night and end her own desert or anyway visit an oasis. She may not have decided you were necessarily her relationship thing (maybe the younger bit and all) but she said screw it, I'M GONNA MAKE THE MOVE. She may not have had in mind anything other than a one night or short term thing, but I bet the way it went, she's pretty open to that now. <gg> At a guess you weren't aggressive enough with her before for her to have earlier given signals (or you missed them).
What comes first to mind is fingering her pussy. But you did that. She probably meant fingering her asshole. That makes some sense that she might be shy to explain that. (But PROMISING!! <ggg>) ."Good guys" often are hungry pushovers. Many, many women tend to be attracted to men that give off an aura of sexual cockiness and dominance -- especially for casual sex. Or when they're younger. Particularly highly sexual women do. Simply because they figure their odds of getting really hot sex are way higher. This may not be a conscious thing, but rather a gut attraction thing, although it also can be highly conscious as well. As opposed to the premature ejaculator type who says wow, that was great, is pleased with himself (or embarrassed ) and goes to sleep. Or the shy type who never wants to do anything exciting. Or even as opposed to the expert pussy licker, who although he performs a valuable component service (as in girl girl warm up sex in porn), isn't delivering the full male dominant take charge and push her thrill. These cocky or sexually dominant types are often, though not always, the "asshole" type, or anyway are likely to be perceived that way by guys less good at the pickup game. In part success with casual sex simply breeds this cocky aura, unless the guy has been very well trained by his mother. In which case he may become the more subtly cocky and charming playboy type, who tends to be the most irresistible of all to women. (Though not to those in the real rough sex market.)
Many of these same more sexual women (along with the rest of their cohorts) then may end up being attracted to more of a (successful or headed that way) nice guy type for something more or entirely permanent, when they're "in the market" for that, particularly if they wait to look for that until their late 20's or later. Someone they think is likely to be more stable, better to live with, less likely to cheat on them, etc. Ideally they often want something of both. Of course these are major generalizations but I think there's enough of a pattern to be worth noting it.
My advice to you if you haven't already done it is to assert psychological sexual dominance some of the time. I.e. be bedroom and sexual innuendo macho, but in a confident, challenging - demanding sort of way, not a nasty way, or crude way. Like when she demanded you lick her out, after you'd gotten her hyper hot fingering her. How much of the time depends on her and you. You haven't said enough. She may have been attracted enough to you to call you up basically for sex partly because she figured she could sexually dominate you and that would thrill her. That's fine, and you can play with that, but also turn it around.
You're her younger stud. Assume that role. Probably trade dominance back and forth if she tends to go that way, as it sounds she does. Not if she doesn't. But certainly don't let her assume that completely. Among other things it's almost certain to bore her pretty quickly if you do. She might stick with you "depending on local market conditions" but you'll lose a lot of the heat. I'd say with the decided edge of sexual dominance in you. I don't mean about day to day things, necessarily. Depending on her. She probably knows more about a lot of stuff. You gave her one a hell of a night. Probably surprised her. Build on that. Be cocky about that. Situation normal for you sort of thing. (Rather than focusing on the night she gave you, or sounding god forbid grateful.) You can tell her about how lousy sex was with your ex wife, but also tell her about how hot it was before marriage, anal, other women, etc. Tell some good stories, hopefully true <gg>. Psych is very important.
You definitely have to do anal with her. Soon. Even if she hasn't done it before (she may just have gotten ass fingered while fucked by previous lovers). She's ripe. Take her there!!
Also play a little hard to get for a little while. If you haven't already told her it's the first time for you since your divorce, DON'T. Don't make her think you only wanted the one night conquest and that's it. Play a bit like you've got other things going on. I imagine the fact that you had something else you were doing before she could see you that night did you no harm at all.
That's cool. Have fun!! For now. Sure sounds like you are. <gg>
If you have tended to be the shy type in the past (I can't really tell from your post, but some hints), this is a golden opportunity to build your sense of sexual confidence, cockiness, and some macho. Remember, you're her younger stud. Gives you leverage. Use it to excite both of you more, and build your self image, try things out.
But I'd think REAL carefully about going the permanent route with a significantly older woman. I'm in significant danger of getting seriously flamed and sizzled for that, but too freaking bad. It's true and it's relevant. It's just basic biology, and the relative things which attract the sexes to each other. In five or ten years it's definitely gonna matter. Vastly more than it would if the age difference was flipped -- which actually tends to age very well.
Let the flames begin. <gg>
Sounds uncannily like my (thankfully childless) former marriage. Except for the snuggle part. My ex was very snuggly, loved being hugged (until the bitter end). We hugged, snuggled and caressed all the time. Or more I did and she loved it. It was like she wanted a daddy (without sex) after we got married, though she was only one year younger. Worst sexual relationship I've ever had by far AFTER we got married. It was light some pulled a light switch. Amazing. I should have left her way sooner, but she was my closest dearest friend, and I tend to be a loyal sod, once I commit. She knew I wasn't happy about the sex change (though she refused to admit there had been any change and didn't want to talk about it AT ALL), and that made her not want to have sex at all. So I was patient. Didn't even cheat on her until the very end, after she'd basically said it was over. (Why didn't I say it's over way sooner??) Patient enough to wait long enough for her to take me to the cleaners financially. Because I made way more than her and this is Manhattan. Ah, the fairness of divorce law in the femi 90's (or now). Don't get me started.
BTW, is that Arrakis, Turkey? You sound American. Are you? Is she? (Just out of curiosity.)
Or is it like "Paris, Texas", or "Berlin, Wisconsin" -- and you just wanted to look exotic? <gg>
Dave, Congrats, and keep us posted. Sounds like Dex there pretty much covered everything, lol, to which I would only add one thing - don't marry her. As far as the chicks who always seem to go for the assholes - this is something we hear a lot, and the same can be said for guys. It's been my observation that many people just enjoy being treated like crap. I'm not sure if that's what Dex was saying, but that's what it boils down to, I feel.
Dex, I think you ought to publish some kinda handbook on this stuff. I can see where I've fucked up a lot by not knowing how to play the game. Just being me and going by my feelings has put me at a disadvantage, I can see that! It's easier that way though, and you don't have to memorize all those dang rules.
Blondie--Geeesh blondie, I think it's chicks who way more know about or make up "these rules" than guys do. I'm just trying to reflect on what I've learned in the trenches, directly and to some extent vicariously. If you think I'm representing that I've always lived (or known) what I'm now preaching, think again. <g>Thanks for UN-flaming me!! I didn't have you in mind. More Lunacy or Steph. Though I was partly just making a bow for show … I think. Who the f*ck knows??Oh, tell me about it!!! You don't think I actually have followed my own advice all the time do you??? I think I should have, is far, far more like it. <gg>
I've been worrying that I sound like a "know it all". Partly I'm trying to coalesce and verbalize things I've come to believe. Trust me, I definitely am not coming off of reading a bunch of rules books, like you "want" me to write. <gg> (I wouldn't write it that way, anyway. <gg>)
It's more that I'm in a very reflective stage right now. I'm recovering from the accidental death of my beloved, but in the end troubled, live in quite a bit younger girlfriend. Just deeply, deeply devastating. Among other things the best long sustained sex of my life, but really it was the terrific loving closeness. I was totally numb emotionally for quite awhile. I've been emerging from that. Really only in the last couple of months, around when I first started here. People are trying to get me married. I've got zero interest in that right now. And who knows for how long. I also have zero interest in pretending I'm interested in that right now. Which is the usual expected mode of operation. I'm trying to figure out what I want. I'm kinda holed up. I feel like I'm at a crossroads. I might do all manner of weird things. Some fundamental reassessing going on here.
Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend, Dex, I didn't know that. How long were you together, and when did she die? I don't think you come across as a 'know it all' at all ~ perhaps over-analytical, but as you said, that's what you're going through right now. I think it's cute :) It's something I should do more of. Not to hijack Digital's thread ~ though I doubt if he cares, he's probably busy goosing her as we speak, heh heh.
1. Mooned or goosed (opposite of mooned; frontal exposure someone?
2. woman pushing Lou's wheelchair asks if he'd "like to get in bed now" (his hospital bed). He responds, "Not with you," although he then does "goose" this woman's rear end.
3. anal sex words English: anal coitus (medical), anal eroticism, anal fetish, analinctus (medical, oral sex, especially licking the ass), analingus (medical, oral sex involving the ass), anal intercourse, back scuttle (slang), behind the behind (slang), bender bottle (slang), brown (slang), browning queen (slang, a person who likes to receive anal sex), bugger (slang), bummer (slang), bunger (slang), bunter (slang), coitus analis (medical), cornhole (slang), despunta (slang), get with him (slang), goose (slang), Greek (slang), Greek love (slang), Greek way (slang), mandrake (slang), molly (slang), mujerado (slang), navy cake (slang), ninety-nine (99) (slang), numbers game (slang), old back road (slang), old dirt road (slang), oscar (slang), paedicatio (slang), paedicatio mulierum (slang), pederasty (especially older male with young boy), peg boy (slang), pig sticking (slang).
So either she wanted you to show her your goodies. Pinch her ass or give it to her in the ass, probably with your finger since that's what you were doing...
I would have to go with anal on the "goosing" then, cause she says she likes it in the ass. I slid my thumb, in her ass a few times the other night, and the last time I went down on her I rimmed her ass for a while. So, I guess she would have taken it, had I known what she was talking about.
As far as relationships go, I want none of that. I was talking with Charmaine last night and made some off the wall reference about relationships. She told me not to even go there. My response was that I didn't intend to have any "real" relationship with her. We could however help each other out with our "needs". She says, "OOOHHHH! so you're saying we could just use each other". I say, "well, errr.....". She cuts me off and says, "that's great, I can live with that". So it's a great mutual understanding. I can't be tied down, it's been too long for me to not go play the field. I just wanted someone with whom I could be fuck buddies with, even if the encounter doesn't last very long. I just want a person that I can be "safe" with.
Dex,
As far as, giving off the ego thing to pick up chicks, I understand that. That's what most women in bars want. I just got lucky meeting Charmaine, she hates the guys that have that ego. I will be giving her all she needs. I took some control in bed on that sunday morning, so that "give and take control" thing is nipped in the bud. I prefer a woman who is a little more dominant in bed, cause sometimes I like for a woman to treat me like a piece of meat, and that won't happen if she isn't aggressive. I get a greater amount of pleasure from sex the more I get a woman off. Anal isn't going to be a problem, my dick size might be.
As far as me not telling her that she was my first since my divorce, too late. I already did cause she made reference as to how she'd be willing to bet that I had been with plenty of women. To which I responded that I wasn't a slut or whore, nor did I want to be with one. I obviously give off a little bit of the confidence, that you speak of. I have always prided myself on being a one woman guy. Hell, I've never had a one night stand in my life. Sex can be suicidal these days. I prefer at least an honest physical relationship. I give off a "cockiness" if you want to call it that. My perception is a little different though. I go out with the attitude of; I'm here to have a good time, and you can join me if you want. To me it is about attitude, just the attitude needs to be "I'm a fun person, and I like doing fun things". Charmaine and others have picked up on this. I've know the signs, I had three other chances before her, but they weren't my type. When I went out with Charmaine the first time, I made no moves on her whatsoever, it only made her want me more. This was not my intention. I just wanted her to be comfortable around me. It just happened to work out for the best. A little piece of info that I failed to mention in the previous post was that she is new at being divorced too. We just happen to be good for each other right now. I know she'll eventually want to move on or I will, just hoping it lasts a little while.
Your answer to your question about Arrakis is no. Arrakis is a planet on a movie called Dune . Just a reference about me being "from another planet". Ignorant, yes, but just felt a little off the day I joined. I am from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. And I'm sorry to hear of your loss, hope you can work things out emotionally and move on. I hate losing people dear to me. Peace.
Another thing is that I lack no confidence when it comes to picking up women. I meet plenty of women and I see the signs when they are there. I have seen chances come and go. If I can meet a woman and go out with her once or twice, I generally know where things will be heading. The other women I have met and had my chances with were fun, but I knew even if we were to make an "arrangement" it wouldn't have lasted long cause I didn't like one thing or another about them. In the long run, it couldn't have worked. I guess that all in all, you need that confidence, but you can be confident without being cocky.
A thoughful, interesting post. Maybe I'll respond to more parts of it later. Though things sound like they are teed up really nicely for you now.
Having Charmaine in your life as a hot fuck buddy is gonna give you an extra edge in attracting other women. That's what I've found fuck buddies have done for me, anyway. <gg> It really looks like kinda an ideal fuck buddy situation for you for now. I bet it does last -- until one of the two of you stops being "single", that is.
That is actually almost entirely a myth.
I originally went on about this here, but decided to move it to a new thread on this topic, where more people are likely to see it.
I read your other thread, man you can talk. I wish I had the where with all to be able to communicate as well as you. I didn't speak with Charmaine last night, and that was a good thing, my head was kinda swimming yesterday. I woke up this morning, went to a coffee shop and met a good looking woman standing in line. Weird how shit works sometimes. Couldn't get my groove on with this black chick a couple of weeks ago, now I met a woman without even trying this morning. Of course, I have a slight problem when it comes to picking up black women, blacks in Louisiana (or a large majority) don't like whites. The culture is starting to turn around, but it's not as free going like up north, or west, or east. The south needs an adjustment. As more and more people move around through this country the better things will get. I've met a few blacks from up north who moved here, they are by far the least racial or prejudice people I have met. I wish more people were like that. I'd love to discuss in detail with you anything you percieve as "helpful" to your success with women. I love "bettering" my odds, always. It helps to hear others opinions and how they perceive things, even if I do or don't necessarily agree with them. Write all you want and others are welcome. Opinions are fantastic, lets keep them coming.
Later DEX, and others, Oh, and Happy Halloween,
DD
"I rather my women shake than rattle" -DigitalDave
That's what I meant about your fuck buddy relationship, but not exclusive commitment with Charmaine, probably helping you find others.
Things just seem to work that way. Esp. for guys. My experience anyway. Pretty women get hit on all the time. Gives them an edge even if their love life history is a complete mess. That does matter but less form the opening first attraction bell. For guys, unless they are clebrities or incredibly physically attractive, it's more a matter of the recent history. Effects the psych. If it's been a desert for a while, it's harder and slower. If it's been clicking recently, it's way easier. Effects the vibes you give off. My experience anyway.
Keep us posted.
It's you that should be handing out advice.
I really would like to hear more about your saga with Charmaine. Among other things, it's good porn. I'm sure I'm not alone! <gg>
Blondie --Thank's for your thoughts blondie. I'm sorry I didn't respond to you earlier. I thought I had. I wrote something, but I guess I didn't post it. And lost it.
We lived together for about four years. It was about six months ago. She died in a car accident. Her drinking related. No one else seriously hurt. She was visiting her sister in Connecticut. We had such a wonderfully close relationship. I truly loved her and she me. Even though in the last year she very quickly developed a bad drinking problem -- just because she was very susceptible to alcohol addiction I think. Programs, but it didn't stick. We were working on it.
I have had such a different emotional reaction to losing her than I did to my divorce. When I separated from my ex-wife (no kids) en route to a divorce, I became just absolutely sexually and emotionally manic. I felt like I had to scramble out of a black emotional hole. I slept with a whole bunch of different women in the next three or four months. Wasn't very satisfying. More a manic scramble. Then I developed a relationship with a smart and hot dancer (stripper) who moved in with me, and who I had wonderful sex with and all manner (well a lot of manner) of different wild things with. g/g/b threesomes, other stuff. A couple of really great vacation sailing trips together. Then I had to go and blow it by encouraging her in something she half wanted to do, but also hadn't had the focus or self esteem in that area to really pursue, given who she had been hanging out with and drugs (non injected) she had been getting into before she met me, etc. That stopped. With some help on app. essays and where to appy etc from me she did get in a couple of good places. And, though we thought about it, did end up moving away to school. She actually left it up to me, or said she was, but that would have been a betrayal. Hurt though. Lot of phone calls for awhile. Then a fairly brief relationship, then M.
When M. died I was at first just in shock, numb. As the funeral busyness was going on, I remember thinking I was going to be just achingly and painfully lonely when that was over. But that isn't what happened. Instead I felt this strange combination of emotional numbness, and a Buddha like peacefulness -- and, well, desirelessness. I had this peaceful deep knowledge that M died really and truly loving me from the bottom of her heart. Didn't have the slightest interest in doing anything with other women. Didn't care about sex at all for quite a while -- which is weird for me. People were trying to get me married off after a while, but I haven't had the slightest interest in that, or pretending to be interested in that. I guess I've been emerging from this sexual and emotional desirelessness the last couple of months. Maybe that's why I became interested in visual hardcore porn again. I don't know.
Only through dex's encouragement will I write this, it isn't by any means, bragging. I am just excited to have this happening to me. I haven't technically had any good sex in a couple of years, and this woman is fantastic. I Well I have now determined that Charmaine is a nympho. I was getting her hot on thursday night. I started taking off her top, and then I unhooked her bra. She gets up, says, "Your too much". DD: "Can't help it, you make me hard" C: "You're gonna have to leave" DD: "Well, if you want me too" C: "Your so sweet, you're not going to leave yet" DD: "Come here then" C: "Hold on, I'm going to the bathroom" DD: "You better not put your bra and shirt back on, I don't want to have to go through the process of getting that stuff undone again." Back from the bathroom. She gets on the floor. I'm kissing her, pinching her nipples. Nibbling on her neck. I start removing her jeans. I get them about halfway off, and she says "No, I wanna quit". I say, "Now I know your kidding" and pull her pants off real quick. She says, "No, we really need to quit". I kiss her a couple of more times, then I pick her leg up and suck on her toe. She says, "Oh, you're gonna suck on my toes?, then put that big dick in me too!" She says shit like "MMmmmmm, I love the way you fuck me", real sultry, while we're in bed. An hour passes, maybe more I'm not sure. We're playing around and stuff and she gets this all excited look on her face and says, "I wanna suck on your dick." I said with a grin, "You're more than welcome too." She's jumps on it, attacks it with a fever. And man after about 2 min. I thought I was going to come. She says, "I bet I can make you come." I told her that I actually believed she might be able to. I have never gotten off from a BJ. She says, "I want to taste your come". She sucks on it for a while. No such luck. I told her if she really wanted to make me come from a BJ, she should get me on the first go round next time. We started having sex again, When we finished it was four in the morning, and we both had to be up by six. Another great night, I have a feeling I could be writing these type of stories alot. I went to her house yesterday evening, to watch the LSU game with a bunch of her friends. They all had their kids with them, so it was real cool. My son played alot and was able to have fun with others. When I left her house last night, we got a little fresh in the driveway. My son wore hisself out, as soon as I put him in his seat he passed out. That's what gave me a few minutes with charmaine. We're kissing, she reaches down and squeezing my dick she says, "I want you to come in my mouth." I told her I wanted to too. She laughs and looks me dead in the eye "This is the biggest dick I have ever been with, you can fuck me with it all you want." She gives me a deep kiss, and tells me to call her tomorrow. Hmmmm...I wonder if I should? HeeHeeHee!
Keep em coming. Good hot true sex tales. Seriously, keep it coming. It's fun. I'm happy for you. Don't worry about boasting, just tell it like it is.
As for coming in her mouth, I tend to be that way too. Like pussy or ass better usually.
You should challenge her to truly deep throat you. I mean where you actually feel it down her throat. Her on her back, head hanging backwards down over edge of bed (or couch) is usually easiest probably. You kneeling.
You can't keep it in too long at a time cause it will choak her -- completely cutting off her breathing. But that can be a turn on too. Just let her know you know when its really down her throat she can't breath and won't hold it in too long - so she doesn't panic.
The sensation of going down her tight THROAT is really hot. And the feeling of it choaking or asphiating her can as really turn her on as long as she trusts you enough.
Don't ask for this. Challenge her to do this. Dare sort of thing. She seems wild enough to be dareable to really do this.
Yes, she has a daughter. She's 5. My son is 2 1/2. Her daughter is very sweet, and spent alot of time with Tyler. Which made me happy cause he needs to meet more kids. His life isn't filled with too many, except for the ones at daycare. Anyway, it got hot and heavy again last night. She's a maniac, Charmainiac to be exact. As far as the BJ is concerned, yes I would love to deep throat her. She loves to suck on my dick, but she can't get it in her mouth. Hitting the back of her throat won't happen. She was telling me the first time she sucked on my dick that if she was to give me a real good BJ, my dick would be bouncing off the back of her throat. She wishes she could do that, but she can't fit much of it in her mouth. She does good enough just sucking on it. The biggest issue right now is that she expressed to me last night when I was leaving that she wanted me to fuck her in the ass. I told her right after she said that, "That comment made my dick hard, you want me put it in right now?" "No, if your going to do that your going to give my ass a workover, and it's getting late." I guess I can wait. I haven't heard so many good things come out of a woman's mouth in so long. My ego has improved dramatically, it's all her fault. Which is a good thing.
Last night when I was eating her pussy, I was really getting into it(Like I wouldn't). I was sucking on her clit, and I stuck two fingers in her palm up. I started giving her that "come here" gesture with my fingers. Well, she starts squirming, then she grabs the back of my head and forces my face real hard into her pussy. She wraps her legs around my head and squeezes real tight. I was actually smothered in pussy, had times where I thought, I need air! Then she starts saying, "How do you know how to do that?" "My pussy feels so good" I said, "Good, I wanted to see if I could get you off that way." She says, "Everytime you've eaten me, I've gotten off, just never like that."
All of this is great, and she is a real confidence booster. She told me she couldn't understand why my wife wouldn't want to have sex with me. That I fuck her so good. She loves my big dick. She loves when I eat her pussy. I've hit spots in her that no one has ever touched. She tells me I'm sexy. I can fuck her anytime I need some. I have the best, sweetest, softest kisses ever. My favorite saying by her is, (it's only because of the way she says it) : "I want you to put that big dick in me and fuck me hard."
I'm on a little bit of a high this morning. Everyone has been telling me at work that I look good. I look happy. People that don't normally even talk to me, have stopped by at my office to chat. I must be pumping out some major "good vibes" for wierd shit like this to happen. People who knew me before the divorce said I'm like night and day. I believe them, I feel it in myself. I feel relaxed and comfortable with who I am.
The biggest and weirdest thing that people(including Charmaine) have been telling me without me even provoking anything is: "You're so laid back", or "You seem like you're always relaxed and easy going." I wish all people could understand how easy it is to be this way.
I'm happy I married my ex, she has shown me the true meaning of life, by making me so miserable. When it was close to the end and I was completely worn out by trying to make her happy, I gave up worrying about her. I told her that in my years of knowing her and my constant effort to please her I realized that I couldn't make her happy. I also told her that I had changed so much to please her and I wasn't happy with who I was. She asked what I was going to do about it. I said, "Nothing drastic, I'm just going to focus on getting myself back together and making myself happy again." She said something to the effect of, "so you're not concerned about us anymore?" I said, "yes, but I know I'm going to be happy from now on. I'm going to be me. I'm not going to make you happy no matter what I do, therefore I should at least have a little joy in my life, you're more than welcome to join me." That conversation ended, and 2 weeks later she left me. I did nothing wrong, so I don't feel bad about the situation. I'm completely happy for once in my life, and I'm going to do everything I can to keep it that way.
Live large, enjoy life. DD
"I rather my women shake than rattle" -DigitalDave
My biggest advice that I can give to any one man is: Don't give a shit what anyone thinks of you, be yourself, be happy with yourself (and if you can't do this, find something that you really are good at, focus on it, and when you accomplish a little something, it'll make you happy, and your confidence level will increase.
I now go into bars or where ever and I reek of happiness and fun. Happy people are really attractive. I have actually had a couple of people who wanted to pick a fight with me on a couple of occasions. I think it was because me and my friends were having such a good time.
Any porn stars around to give advice about ways you like being pleased. Any techniques I could be informed of that may make my situation better would be great. I feel like I'm doing pretty good, but I might be missing something that could really put her over the edge.
So what I'm now wondering about in all of this is the emotional side.
Charmaine made real clear that she wasn’t looking for a committed (read exclusive) relationship early on. You were surprised, but OK, and maybe even relieved, by that, as I read it.
She has increasingly gotten deeply into sex with you. And vice versa.
So where does this stand now? I realize early days.
You have been attracted to other women since, and felt many more being attracted to you, given the vibes you're now putting out. But you know you've got a real good and uncommon thing going with Charmaine.
So now what? My thought is you should now firmly reinforce her "no commitment" message. Which isn't gonna be entirely true. Cause you two look set up to be ideal fuck buddies for quit a while to me.
My thought is that you should encourage her to date other men. Which is apparently what she was trying to keep open initially. Which lets you do the same. And you two should genuinely intimately and truly share and discuss dating experiences with others between the two of you together. That can actually be very close making.
This is one way of going with this which is truly interesting and life experience enhancing.
Well, I spent a long time with Charmaine last night. I finally feel like I have gotten some. It's been quite a busy two weeks or week whatever it's been. Dex, as far as the committed relationship is concerned, she mentions us not being together long constantly. She also mentions that she wants me to fuck her everyday and night. Mixed signals? Yes, but I know it's her pussy talking most of the time. She apparently loves getting fucked by me. She tells me she has never been fucked so good. She also says stuff like she's so into me(scary), or I wanna be with you all the time. I know it's getting thick. At this moment in my life, I don't care I'm just having fun.
You know that saying about not telling a girl the words I love you. I know that's an unbendable rule. She has told me this, yes the words I love you. Don't be alarmed, she said it in a way as to mean it like I love the way you make me hot, or I love your company. I could've responded with the same, cause I do love spending time with her. I don't love her emotionally. I do love knowing, touching, and being with her, or you could say that I'm extremely infatuated with her. She is such a sweet and honest person. I have a very good feeling I won't see her for a few days so we'll get a break, she'll be able to calm down. It all looks good on the surface, but I really believe this won't last but for maybe a month more.
My biggest issue with this whole situation is when whe talks to me about sex. She says that I'm the best she's ever had. She wants me to do it to her all the time. She loves feeling so filled up. Yet at the same time she'll tell me that we won't be doing this again. I can't be seeing her anymore. I don't understand that whole thing. If the sex is so great, why would you want to quit? She apparently doesn't know what to do with us.
I'm happy with my surroundings, my life, my son. I don't wanna come back down from this cloud. I'm satiated, and lucky to be with someone who is the hottest woman that has come across my path. If she gets attached or falls for me, I'll fix the problem soon. I don't think she will, she's still in love with her husband. She treats me like a piece of meat, and for that I'm grateful.
"I rather my women shake than rattle" -DigitalDave
DigitalDave --Yeah, encourage her to think that way. But also to see you as her best friend. Discourage the "in love" bit. Because it carries with it a lot of ideology (about monogamy). You can eventually work it into your own special sort of love for each other, if you are together quite a while.
He left her for someone younger? Definitely sounds like he left her. Does he ever still fuck her? Is he in love with someone else, or just into playing around?
I'm pretty sure I know exactly what's going on.
Her ground rules with you, which she set for herself before she even called you that night (maybe in consultation with girlfriends of hers, don't know), are conflicting with how she actually feels being with you. Including but not limited to having sex with you.
She's falling in love with you fast. But telling herself not to. (She also seems like the sort who loves DEEP. NO?)
So why would she have these ground rules? Age, basically. Maybe some other earlier impressions that have now changed, but definitely age. She knows very well that a relationship with you is unlikely to be really long term durable. So she set "just sex" parameters for herself going in. So as to not get hurt by her much younger lover she's madly in love with leaving her after awhile. That's whay she wants to avoid. The trouble for her is that the sex is so good, and you're so easy with each other, that she's starting to fall for you. As well for her, her husband (including his age) still defines what she thinks she is looking for. That will change with really great sex combined with emotional intimacy with someone else (you), as long as you two are otherwise pretty sympatico as well. Which it sounds you are.
If you just let things drift what's likely to happen is that she will fall really hard in love with you in a fully possessive way. She'll slip right into that cultural groove with you. Meaning she won't be able to stand the idea of you going out with anyone else. I have a feeling she is the sort where a dam will burst at some point (her conscious belief that she's still in love with her ex-husband and her determination not to fall in love with the much younger you being the dam), and she'll then wake up a "realize" she's madly in love with you. If you are in fact exclusive with her for a long period (months), she will come to feel that's her right if you're going to keep seeing her at all. Especially since that's what the culture so much reinforces these days, in movies and TV, not to mention women's magazines, nearly all circles of women friends, and what not. So it will be the traditional all or nothing. With you after a while feeling suffocated maybe. And after a while wanting to look for someone younger. But not wanting to be without the hot thing you have with Charmaine in the interim.
I think what you should do is withdraw a LITTLE bit from her now emotionally. Physically as well if necessary. Have her chasing you a bit for a while before you've got the ground rules established. Remind her that you BOTH said no commitments. Make sure it's understood that it's non exclusive. She may accept this at this point just fine -- and actually see it as a way to get less hooked on you and less hurt. Or she may already be at a point where she will (consciously or unconsciously) try to game you into chasing after her completely on her terms, to wrest the full fledged monogamous commitment out of you that she before said she DEFINITELY didn't want. You know, she may do the game that if you'd really rather date other women sometimes than be with her, then maybe that is what you SHOULD do, and don’t call me unless you decide "you want to be with me" [exclusively].
Actually, I can almost guarantee that at some point she will try that on for size, at the very least. Maybe she'll really put her heart into it. For a while. Don't argue with her. Just very confidently ask her to call you when she'd like to see you again. She will, whatever game she tries on for size. Don't chase. Let her come back to you, if she plays that way. She will. I promise you. I totally promise you. Really.
If she in fact plays that game and DOESN’T call you for a couple of weeks, then figure out a way of bumping into her. Then casually stroke her, touch her hair, kiss her ear a little, that kind of stuff. Tell her you've missed her, but say it confidently, on your terms. She won't be able to resist. I'm 99.44% sure.
I'm not suggesting you should do any of this to hurt her. Not AT ALL. I'm suggesting you should do this to keep Charmaine as your fuck buddy for a good long time. Partly in love fuck buddies I think is pretty likely. For both of your benefit. You're fighting prevailing ideology here, once she realizes she "loves" you. The best thing is to set the terms before she fully realizes that, or so that it doesn't happen, in the traditional sort of way. It runs upstream of conventional dating ideology, esp. for someone approaching 40, but it's perfect for this situation. You should go out dating other women sometimes, looking in a thoroughly un pressed sort of way for someone as hot as her but more age right for longer term. You know, just when you run into someone appealing. While ditching the hunt routine. Spend that time with Charmaine instead. Just keep your eyes open, and ask out on the spur of the moment. You can tell Charmaine that's just what your doing, but that she, Charmaine is so hot and makes you so happy that you are in absolutely no rush and are gonna be VERY picky. Might take you a whole LONG time. And it might. Say in a lot of ways you HOPE it takes a hella of a long time. Lots of fun along that route. Just a fucking ideal place to be in.
Be really open about this with her. Maybe even tell her details about hot experiences with other women. Tell her you like making her a little (or a lot) jealous -- cause it makes her even hotter and more desireable to her. Tell her you're gonna have a HELL of a time ever stopping seeing her if she gets too jealous. Cause it'll be true. Fun stuff, no?
Meanwhile strongly suggest she date other guys. Be her buddy in this. Encourage her to approach it just as you are. No need for her to just settle either. She's got you. Get her to tell you about her dates. Maybe it makes you a little jealous and hotter for her. Like that. She could get real lucky but odds are you'll find someone long term before she does. (Besides, if she finds a Mr. Right type who isn't as good in bed (probable), there's a very good chance she'll still want to play with you, perhaps on the sneak tip. Shocking I know.
Now is the time to set this up, before she wakes up totally in love with you, with full possessiveness seeming justified on the basis of your actual practice with each other, especially in light of the pervasive ideology. Then there would be all sorts of conflict, maybe enough to convince her she HAS to break up with you, if you do want to see other people in a few months, after a period of total de facto monogamy.. So get this firmly set up now. Before she admits to herself she loves you.
Don't be swayed by her saying she can't handle you being with anyone else anymore now that she's "in love with you". A lot of that is ideology. It'll be what she (and very importantly her girlfriends) thinks she SHOULD insist on. You may want to try convincing her she isn't "in love" with you, just "in lust".
But anyway, I'm pretty damn sure from all you've said about Charmane that you can go the emotionally involved [non-exclusive] fuck buddy route if you DO IT NOW. Even if you'd emotionally just rather drift and just be with Charmaine exclusively for a few months, however long it lasts, don't do it. Make yourself have this talk with her. And even make yourself go out with someone else sometimes. However that first date goes (doesn't matter) I'm just about certain you'll be glad longer term that you went that way from here.
Why do this rather than just fall really in love with each other and become completely monogamous? Cause long term the age thing really will matter (even if you don't have any polylove experimental urges in you). You really are pretty ideally set up here. The confidence / vibes this will (and is) giving you is gonna make you mega attractive to other women. (Women, especially the hottest and most confident ones, want men that other women want. It's just a MEGA chick magnet.) Work it!!!
I believe he ended up seeing his old high school girlfriend again. He was fucking her until she found me, and I’m not saying I’m all that. She had just made a concious choice that it wasn’t going to be on his terms anymore, and I happened along at the right time. Therefore, I pretty much gave her an out.Yes, she seems like the type that does fall in love deep, she’s the type of person I could really get into too. I believe she’s in love with the fact that I’m such a gentle, laid back person (her husband use to hit her and stuff). I learned from my wife that you can’t change yourself to make your spouse happy, it only makes you miserable. Since I have come to grips with this, my attitude has changed dramatically. This attitude has filtered into my relationship with Charmaine. I am not at all worried about what anyone in this world thinks of me anymore, Charmaine is feeding off of this. She knows she can trust me. I’ve proven that time and time again. Sunday night when I was over at her house she said something real derrogatory about me, and I said that she was headed down the right path if she was trying to make me feel bad. This is something I never would have said had it been anytime before when I was single. I would have just ignored it as if it meant nothing to me, and then wondered for the next week why she didn’t like me or whatever. Fuck Dat!She hasn’t mentioned age at all, she tells me a lot of shit though. I brought up something about girlfriends last night and she said “You can be my girlfriend, boyfriend, good friend, and best friend”I don’t think she’s the game playing type. I could definitely be wrong on this, I haven’t met a woman yet that doesn’t play games. I imagine it’s in there somewhere, just waiting to jump out and attack me. If she does play games, she’ll have a real hard time playing, cause I don’t play. Never have. So far we’ve been calling each other on a ever-other-day basis. So that is a pretty even trade.We have already dicussed everything in detail about what we expect out of this. We are committed to each other exclusively. Just for sex. I can’t go out and just be with someone else, it’s not in my blood. I don’t believe it’s in hers either. She really wants to be exclusive as far as I can tell. I don’t want to be with anyone else until I find someone I think I’ll have a huge romance with. She has expressed her concerns about this on a number of times. She is expecting to be able to go out with others as I, just no horizontal bop until the other one is informed of the situation.I kinda hope she does. I haven’t had anyone in love with me since I was 23. I have never experienced something quite so wonderful as being loved. It’s easy to feel the love you have for someone, it’s so much harder to feel the love someone has for you. I have felt it before, and I want to give it and get it again. I never knew you could actually feel love from another but you can, and it’s great. I want to feel that way about another person again, and I want to be able to feel it from them too. I really don’t expect this to happen with Charmaine, her personality isn’t going to let her become susceptable to being hurt again. So, she can’t let herself fall in love with me. I believe she has the will to do this.
It got deep last night. She called me about three hours before I got off of work. She asked me what I was doing for the evening, I told her I won tickets to ride down to New Orleans and see Finger 11. Or is it finger 311? Anyway, I told her I wasn't going to go cause I didn't feel like going to New Orleans so I would be going to the gym and probably going to the house after. She was like OK, I might call you later. Well about 30 min. before I got off work she called again. She asked if I was still going to the gym. I told her yes. She said, I want you to come and sleep with me tonight. Weak from not gettin' it for so long, I said sure. We took it fairly easy, I gave her a massage and cuddled and shit, I got her off a few times and we went to sleep. I was kinda glad we took it easy, I needed the rest anyway. She was watching something on TV and a guy said some joke about being a booty call, and she started laughing. I made some comment about her being my booty call she laughed, but at the same time her eyes said she didn't like the comment. So, Dex I think you're right, she's getting deep. I don't know if I want that, or not want it. I really love being with her cause I haven't had this much fun in and out of bed in so long with a woman who enjoys my company. It's weird how I've come from not getting any with the most frigid woman on the planet, to getting the hottest sex in my life. Not only am I enjoying it so much but she seems to be really enjoying it as well. I told myself this morning that I wouldn't call her today. She usually doesn't call me until she gets off of work. She called me about and hour ago. She told me she had been thinking of me. I guess her head is swimming, mine has been fairly clear with all of this. It was swimming when I first started being with her, time helped that out.
The hardest thing I've had to deal with this is the compliments. I'm not used to having someone tell me I'm good in bed, or that I'm such a nice person or "sweet" as she puts it. I've caught myself a few times where I made a comment and thought to myself, 'that's a little over confident'. I like being confident, but I don't ever want to come off cocky. It's a fine line I'm walking, I hope I can cross over to the other side without turning into one of the cocky assholes I hate so much.
Definitely get her used to you talking dirty to her, even when you're not having sex. Just let her know it doesn't AT ALL mean you don't respect her in all sorts of ways outside of sex. It's just that you also love to think of her as "one hot bitch". As long as you really don't say or think it as a put down, it works great, my experience. Or you can make it do. I used to call my late M. my "sex bitch" all the time, of "you sexy, nasty bitch". First time with each new phrase she was all dubious about whether she should be upset. I explained what was in my heart. She quickly came to love it. Made her feel complimented, which is how I meant it. Made her want to BE that way more, egged her on. <gg>
DigitalDave --My guess is Charmaine did that to see if she could push your anger buttons. It might have been the sort of thing that got her hit by her ex husband, at least if he'd been drinking. Probably an unconscious testing of you. You passed with flying colors.
Of course if she feels compelled to try to push anger buttons all the time, it'll be a pain. Talk to her about it if so.
Well, I don't really agree with blondie, much as I love her. I agree don't let thinking crowd out feeling and enjoying. But thinking about where to be going with this can make a big difference, seems to me. Especially since this is sort of an unusual situation.
I do agree you shouldn't necessarily worry too much about seeing her too much. Do what feels good. As long as you aren't getting whipped. By which I mean, having what you want submerged by what she wants (as with your wife, I gather). Doesn't seem like that's happening.
As well, your worries about the two of you caring about each other too much I think can best be dealt with by opening this thing up down the road. And agreeing on that now. Rather than trying to resist feeling too much. Have fun with feelings. But don't make or imply long term false promises.
My opinion, for what it's worth, is that this is a BIG mistake.
(I'm finding this situation of yours so interesting BTW partly because I've been doing A LOT of reading and thinking about various forms of open relationships. Your situation seems tailor made to me. An ideal way to try some of that without risking something that you want to be permanent. Where you both agree about the lack of permanence. And where you're building on a foundation of great sex with each other. It isn't that I don't think swinging can work in permanent relationships. I'm increasingly sure it can -- with the right work on it. But regardless this is a perfect try out situation. Even if you never do want to swing at all in a permanent relationship, an open one here makes all the sense in the world to me.)
You have a golden opportunity here. Some poly sex (on a search, try out basis at least) combined with a deep in lust relationship and maybe at least partly in love. Charmaine's going to be in love with you regardless for a while. Every new post of yours makes that clearer to me. Or anyway at a minimum she'll be (is) in deep lust with you, with lots of love developing around the edges. Try to keep it that way actually. Especially if you want to be a nice guy. That's really more important than catering to the sexual jealousy thing of hers in this situation. In fact sex when you date sometimes could help her in the eventual hurt department. You aren't going to drive her away as long as you keep being nice to her, and as long as you keep everything above board, and don't sneak behind her back -- don't betray her trust. Don't forget, you ARE eventually going to break up. Because a so much older woman, her 39 to your 32, IS going to be an issue for you in 5 years, if not before. It just is. Which you can anticipate now. And so be casually looking. (Doesn't mean she might not find Mr. long term Right first. )
She wants to keep open her dating others while she's seeing you. That of course is her not regarding this as permanent. Fine, you've said you want that too. But you should also keep open the possibility of fucking on these dates. It's just CRAZY for you not to. I understand you don't want to do that at the moment, as this thing with Charmaine is just blossoming. You don't feel like it. No desire. Understand completely. It's how I'd feel for sure. Fine. Don't. But keep it open for the not so distant future. Talk to her now about that. For later. When you just run into someone really attractive who's a better age for you long term.
BTW, openly discuss the age thing as a reason why you don't think you can let it be permanent. Tell her it doesn't matter to you in the least now, in fact in many way's it's a plus for you now. That you find her incredibly attractive, love her extra sophistication / knowledge / sexual ability / etc., but that all your friends tell you it's gonna matter in 5 or 10 years say. And you look forward and imagine, rationally, that they're probably right. Gotta tread real carefully. But when it comes up, don't run from it. Just put it the right way to her. Be sure she doesn't question how attractive you find her now. Crucial. Tell her you adore how she looks.
What you should do is shift the conditions of this "no horizontal bop" stuff until you find someone you might have a big romance with, to not doing anything behind the other's back. And if you like to also not carrying on two things simultaneously for a really long time. Shift it to promising to be completely open about anything you do with someone else, and talking to her about it just as much as she wants, and vice versa. I'd recommend talking about it in detail each time. I.e., hearing her experiences in detail, and trying to get her to listen to yours. Knowing a little bit and imagining stuff is bad. Well, the worst is finding out something big that's been long hidden. Be best friends, best loving buddies about this for each other. For continued closeness, trust and intimacy. Yeah you'll each feel jealousy, but you can manage it if you both work on it, and reassure each other that you care about each other and deeply desire each other. It really is what people who do this stuff successfully usually do. It takes away the whole betrayal thing. Makes a huge difference. (And the jealousy, or worry of loss, managed and worked with, and most of all talked about together, can be a big turn on. ) The fact that you have such great sex together makes all this MUCH easier. Cause what's going to happen is you are each going to end up finding that most people the other dates aren't going to do it for them nearly as much, all in. And so she or you won't end up continuing going out with that person, but will eventually try someone else. And so on. For each of you. Which will make you two even closer loving fuck buddies. For a while. Maybe quite a long while. It could be a real nice place from which to look for something incredible, taking your sweet time about it.
As for your not believing it's in your blood to be sleeping with more than one woman at a time (even on a date "try out" basis) -- frankly I don't really believe you. I think it's in the blood of the great majority of men. (It's just often repressed because it usually gets badly punished these days. So it isn't worth it, and isn't worth thinking about, many intuit.) As far as women go on that for themselves, I'm less sure. Certainly there's an attraction in some, once they try it. Less inherent push for sometimes some strange in women, but there can definitely be a pull from good experience. (I have a lot of thoughts about that, but won't get into it now.) Obviously there's a huge amount of propaganda, in movies and TV entertainment among other places, against anything but monogamy, and to keep her man reigned in from any strange, once a woman wants to settle down or gets to a certain age. Of course I could be wrong about what's "in your blood" in particular. But what I think you're expressing is a reflection of social propaganda about monogamy for all "good people", and the image you have of yourself, the "type of guy" you are, within that system of social propaganda. (And sure, you like me value deep love in a really good relationship way above the rest of this.)
Remember, this is after all a different situation. You are not supposed to be starting down the road to a permanent relationship. That's what you've each told the other. You are having just sex. Only it's becoming a lot more than that fast, especially for her it sounds. But it isn't supposed to be THE PERMANENT ONE. So why on earth enforce monogamy? It's crazy if you ask me. Among other things, the one who gets left cause the other has found something permanent first is going to be that much more hurt if you've had all these monogamy promises and expectations. At least try what I'm talking about. I mean after a while of this thing blossoming, the next time you run into someone who's really attractive to you and more long term age appropriate. As I said in an earlier post, don't go out on "find a date" missions. Spend that time with Charmaine instead. It'll be WAY more fun and good for vibes anyway. Just keep your eyes open. Do a lot of casual flirting as you go about your daily life. What do you have to lose? You've got it completely covered for now. That's just an ideal situation for finding a really attractive hot woman -- for keeps.
Get this thing back on the fuck buddy, or loving fuck buddy track!!
You've got this whole thing about what you can and can't do while you're seeing Charmaine kinda backwards in my opinion. It's DATING other people that's genuinely threatening to a relationship. Not necessarily open and limited "just sex", depending on what you bring to that. Especially dating with a view towards finding the big romance, is threatening. Though of course most people (especially most women) think "just sex" is highly threatening. (And is if that's how your partner insists on reacting to it.) Married swingers for example generally don't allow separate dating AT ALL. That's definitely the riskiest practice, anyway. (It's not always completely spur of the moment either though. Instead they often have friendships with other couples, sometimes mostly for one or the other's primary benefit on the sex side (alternating) met at open houses or swing parties or clubs, but where it's all in the open and usually all in view, at least starting out.) Open marriages, where each partner has open permission to have full fledged affairs on the side, as long as there's no deceit about it, tend to not last very long or work very well at least for one of the partners, from all I've read and talked to people. It's definitely the riskiest.
Yeah, to some extent an open relationship is what the two of you would be doing if you sometimes dated (and fucked) other people. But the thing is you aren't married and aren't planning on getting married to each other, and aren't testing out that possibility either. You both don't expect this relationship to be permanent. So why not? The other difference from an open marriage is you wouldn't carry on a full fledged affair on the side for a very long time, presumably, from all you've said you want. And she wants. Cause if it's that good, you'd leave the fuck buddy thing with Charmaine presumably, and if it's not, you'd drop it and keep your eyes out for someone else that might be. The big romance you talked about.
In a lot of ways it sounds to me like Charmaine's bit about you both not going horizontal with someone else until you each find someone else you truly love is her (intuitive) way of keeping her stud pony all locked up, while she goes about searching for permanent love, content that her sexual needs are being met. Don't settle for this. You don't have to. She's being jealous and fearful of losing your great sex too soon if you get to sniff around other (and younger) pussies too much. While meanwhile she gets to look for Mr. rest of her life Right in her preferred way. I suspect she instinctually wants to have exclusive pussy power over you too. Don't settle for this. You don't have to. Especially if you shift the ground rules on this now or soon. She's gonna go with it. What's she gonna do, drop you? Not a chance. On the grounds that you were supposed to be committed forever? Doesn't make sense, does it?
Like I said before, she might play the withdrawl from you game if she's upset deep down about permission to have sex during dating. But if you don't chase on her terms, she'll come back around. I mean given the basic realities of this situation. (As for her not being the game playing type … our entire culture teaches women that they should play these sorts of games, and how to do it. No comparable cultural instruction in this area for men. That's only in nooks and crannies.)
As well, how are you going to KNOW if you have found your permanent woman unless you're also sleeping with the good prospects after awhile? Good sex chemistry together is a real important part of a relationship, as you discovered with your ex wife (as did I). Not enough by any means, but crucial. At least if you're highly sexual, as you are. Yeah, there are no guarantees someone won't change once they're comfortable that they have you "snared", but you know even less when you haven't slept together at all. Part of developing intimacy with someone else these days is sleeping with them after awhile. Especially if they are highly sexual. Which is part of what you're looking for, isn't it?
The way she's got this set up (probably not consciously), it's almost like you'd have to go back to 50's dating patterns or something. Whether or not to sleep with someone you meet and date several times becomes this HUGE thing while you're seeing Charmaine. This big hurdle.
Again, the fact that you are getting so sexually and emotionally satisfied -- but aren't married and aren't in a relationship where you've promised permanence -- is going to make you more of a chick magnet than ever before probably. Don't blow this golden opportunity!
Get this thing back on a fuck buddy, or loving fuck buddies track!!! Insist on being able to fuck dates (and she can as well), as long as you're completely open and honest about it with her. And as long as you aren't trying to carry on two relationships simultaneously long term. Given how great sex is between the two of you, and how well you get along, I really doubt either of you have too much to worry about very soon, in terms of the other taking a hike.
My strong advice, anyway. (Sorry this are the prior one were so long. I type real fast, with typos. <gg>)
Keep us posted!! (And I'll try to be MUCH more brief in future.)
quote "Sheesh blondie, you're gonna get DigitalDave to stop posting on this. I'm ENJOYING his fun saga with Charmaine!!" <gg>
That's not my intention. I would like him to continue to enjoy what he's got going, but if he gets into all these head games, I predict there soon will be nothing more to post! That would be MY reaction though, I don't know about Charmaine.
I'm not advocating head games. I'm not advocating manipulation.
I'm advocating being completely open and straight forward. And sharing feelings in detail. And mostly going with the flow of how good it's all feeling.
Blocking some games and manipulation if it comes, but that's it.
But I'm also advocating something unconventional, in this situation. Which takes some arguing, since I'm swimming upsteam against most of the cultural propaganda and unexamined assumptions that's out there.
Though the fuck buddy thing is no longer THAT unconventional. In essence, an open and fully truthful loving fuck buddy relationship, where each can date looking for the long term from time to time (and fuck in dates as well), is the sum total of what I'm suggesting.
"Cause they've both decided this isn't going to be the forever thing.
quote " As for her not being the game playing type … our entire culture teaches women that they should play these sorts of games, and how to do it. No comparable cultural instruction in this area for men."
Really! This whole thread seems to bear out just the opposite, dex. I'm finding it very instructional, I must have missed those classes. Please continue...
I'm just a poor stumbling male voice amoungst the thick thicket of omnipresent female relationship pundits, amateur and professional.
Yeah, I missed the classes too, as well as the movies and TV shows, and popular magazines which explore any of these points of view. Or teach men how to play hard to get, or any of the other emotional games which come much more naturally to many, many women (as a result of the culture, traditionally as an offset to men's economic and other real world power, before the feminist age).
Don't get me wrong. Not all of these games are unpleasant. They also often aren't conscious.
And yeah, my musings on this thread are a major cultural influence, and very common.
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Posted - Nov 8 2001 : 9:08AM
On the whole games thing...
I think that certain elements of pop culture have made men think that women play more head games than we actually do. American culture seems to have taken the stance (in the last decade or so) that women control some kind of overall sex game. There may be some element of truth to that, but I think the field is more balanced than many men seem to think.
Fuck the games. You're only dealing with people.
Dave - Enjoy it! See where it goes. Don't try to control it.
She tried this again last night and even admitted it. It went a little something like this.
C: Hey, whatcha doin'? DD: Nothing much, just put my son to bed. C: Are you going anywhere? DD: No, just chillin, I think I'm going to take easy tonight. C: Are you going to do anything this weekend? DD: I'm going to have fun but I don't have any plans yet. You're more than welcome to spend time with me if you like. C: No, I may not want to spend time with you. DD: That's fine, I was just offering. I can always find something to do. C: God! You are so sweet. DD: Why? C: Here I am giving you such a hard time and you take it with a grain of salt. You are so easy to get along with. DD: Thanks C: We can get together this weekend.
Blondie,
Advice taken. Although I don't think I'm analyzing this too much. I just like having a relationship to talk about. My whole life has changed, I'm experiencing new things. I'm just happy and a little crazy. Take me with a grain of salt too.
I understand your logic. However, I can't do this. I am a one woman guy, always will be.DEX,
This is not temporary, I can't sleep with a girl on the first evening meeting her. Call it morality, call it cultural, or even weak. I tried this earlier in my life, on three seperate occasions. I wanted to be a "stud" and fuck every woman when I was growing up. On all three occasions, I was involved with a buddy. I could go all the way with these women, but when it came time to perform I lacked a certain stiffness that is required. It was all due to the guilty feelings I had for not being true to my buddy. Yes, I would at times love to be able to just get it on with someone I met, it's just not going to happen for me.
I had another chance when I started dating a girl. On the first night I went out with her, she wanted to do it, I tried, it didn't happen. After two more dates I knew a little more about her, I saw that she really was interesting, I made a conscious decision that I wanted to see more of her, (boing, rock hard, and everytime after). I know it's a mental block, I don't mind it anyway cause it keeps me from getting to wild. I guess what I'm saying is I really need to be interested in that person, on a higher level than sex. I have never had any sexual performance problems in my life, except on these occasions. I guess I should've kept that my little secret, but since the internet is so anonymous, I don't mind mentioning this. It's just not something you want to tell a woman you're seeing, cause then she'll think she's really got you. I'll tell them I don't believe in cheating.
This thing with Charmaine though, I would rather be monogamous. However small the chance may be, I don't want AIDS. Charmaine has only been with two people in her life. I have only been with 8. She is STD free, and I. I can fuck that good sweet pussy without a raincoat. I would rather not get any from someone else, and know I'm safe. I just look at things a little different than you.
I'm not interested in making love to all the attractive women I can either. I've been through phases like that, but mostly I've been in monogamous relationships. I'm not a cheater. Really aren't. If anything, I'm too loyal.
I wasn't suggesting lots of action on the side, but only when you found someone really attractive that might be the big one, but weren't necessarily sure yet. I was primarily suggesting that you not feel you have to break off seeing Charmaine first before you take it to the next step, on an exploratory basis.
But anyway, it sounds like you are thinking through just what works for you real well.
It also sounds like you've now gotten pretty instinctually good at blocking the mind games bit, or many of them. That little dialogue you quoted is classic, if mild. In my experience lots and lots of women do that sort of thing all the time, sometimes without realizing it, or only half realizing it. There're taught by the entertainment culture to do it; it's all over the place. (Yeah some men do to, but a lot fewer I think.) It was a version of the "chase me" game, to assume a sort of control. Or she was worried she was sounding like she was chasing you too much. You just responded in a simple non needy confident way, without emotionally gaming her (by making her chase you, which would have been easy). Simply yeah, you'd like to be with her over the weekend if it works for her. Or you'll be happy doing other things if not. Cool.
? No, not at all! I was just making an observation. I guess I just don't pay attention to all this propaganda. It sounds like there's been plenty from both sides, then. Or maybe I just don't see the same TV shows or read those magazines.
Check out this article Dex, you're gonna love it
BRAVE Melanie Griffith was so upset after learning her hubby Antonio Banderas defied her and sneaked off with pals for a Las Vegas party night, she went back to rehab for a refresher course, say sources. "The last time Antonio took off on one of his Vegas jaunts, Melanie begged him never to do it again for the sake of their marriage," a friend reveals. She told him to stop, but it happened again when the Latin heartthrob and four male pals arrived Oct. 9 at the plush Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas. The next day, a distraught Griffith, 44, checked into L.A.'s Daniel Freeman Hospital, say sources. "She told friends and staff at the hospital that Antonio's putting his friends before her and their family," say insiders. "She doesn't want their marriage to become another Hollywood divorce statistic, but she says: 'I'm terrified that's the way we're headed.'" Griffith is convinced her handsome hubby needs counseling to help him stop his gambling trips. But Enrique Jorge, a Spanish producer friend, insists: "Antonio's not a wild man, but he is close to friends from his homeland who are now in L.A. They all love Vegas and invite Antonio to go every few months. "The guy needs a release valve once in a while."
I got ya now, cool ! Yes, I could go that way. I could see this happening in the future.
Head games, she went at it again last night. We met out, as we were driving back to her place, her in her car, me in mine, she called me. C: What are you doing coming to my house. DD: What do you mean? You asked me to come over. C: No, I mean why do you keep seeing me? I want to date other people. We have been spending pratically everyday together. DD: If you want me to go home, I will. She then proceeded to change the subject.
We make it back to her house. DD: I want to go back and talk about what you brought up on the phone. C: What do you want to say? DD: Go ahead and date other people, I have no problem with that. I am only concerned with the sex issue, I don’t want to have sex with someone who’s sleeping around. I’m healthy and I want to stay that way. I don’t care if you go out with other guys, have fun, enjoy yourself. If you want to have sex with someone else, please let me out. C: I know you said it all before. I don’t want to have sex with a bunch of people, I’m not like that either. DD: Then we have no problem. Look, since you basically said you wanted some space, I won’t go to that party tomorrow that you invited me to. You go have fun and enjoy yourself, maybe we can hook up at a later time. C: I didn’t mean that, did I make you mad? DD: No, I really am perfectly OK with it. You have a good time tomorrow, don’t let me be of any concern. C: I don’t care if you’re with me. DD: I understand but you obviously need some space. C: I don’t want to talk about this anymore. DD: OK We smoked a little bit. Started Necking. She started getting hot. I told her we needed to go somewhere a little more comfortable. She went to the bedroom. After an hour or so of playing around, there was a loud rapping on the window. Her husband showed up. He can’t get in the house however. It did kill the mood. This was 12 at night. It totally pissed her off. He left and called her from where ever. I figured I would go ahead and leave. So I did. She called me on the way home. C: I’m so sorry, I didn’t want you to leave. DD: I didn’t want to leave either. Just don’t want to be in a sticky situation like that. C: I’m so sorry. DD: Don’t worry about it. C: Why don’t you come back and let me suck your dick. DD: Don’t get me all worked up, I need to go ahead and go home. C: Please come back, you got me all wet, I need you to finish me off. Come over here a fuck me real hard, put it to me good. DD: You know I want to. I’m going to go ahead and go home. C: You’re not mad about the EX coming by are you? DD: Why would I be? He doesn’t concern me, I have no reason to be mad. You’re basically the one who has to really deal with it, not me. C: Please don’t be mad. DD: Don’t worry girl, I’m fine. Just chill out. Have sweet dreams. Call me if you want to go out sometime and have a good time tomorrow evening. C: Good night I got home and went to bed. About 15 min. after I killed the lights the phone rings. C: Hey, I’m really sorry about tonight. DD: Let’s go ahead and drop that subject, I’m perfectly fine with the situation. It shocked me a little when it happened, but it’s really no big deal to me. C: What do you have on? DD: Nothing, I’m in bed. C: Is your dick all hard? DD: No, but I’m sure you’ll get it that way before I hang up this phone. C: Talk dirty to me, I want to have phone sex. DD: I told you I have never done that. I can try, but I have no experience. C: What do you want to do to me. DD: Well you know I love going down on you. I love sucking your clit. I also like fucking your pussy with my tongue. C: I love riding your face. Do you think I can get you off with a BJ? DD: You brought me closer to the edge than anyone else has before, I really believe you can get me there, I was so close when you stopped the last time. I think if you would’ve continued for about thirty more seconds I would have made it. C: I really want to taste your come. I want you to shoot your load in my mouth, give me a belly full. DD: Ok, I’m hard now. Now, what do I do. C: Hee, Hee…You can come over here and fuck me real good. Bang me real good and slow for awhile and then fuck the shit out of me. DD: I only wish. C: You shouldn’t have left. DD: Well, the situation got a little thick, we can hook up another time. C: I want you to come and bang me tomorrow night. DD: Aren’t you going to go out with your friends? C: I want you to come. DD: You need to stop with that stuff. Look let’s not worry about that right now. C: I want you to come with me. DD: Girl, you need to either not worry about the time we spend together or we need to start thinning out our time together. C: I want you to come hang out and stay with me after. DD: Look just go and enjoy yourself. C: I want you to fuck me tomorrow night. I need that big dick inside me. DD: We’ll see tomorrow. So, what you got on? C: Nothing just like you. I wish your head was between my legs right now. DD: I’m down with that. Sweet dreams, I need to get some sleep. C: I want you in me. I want to suck on your dick. DD: Girl, don’t get me going again. C: Ok, I’ll talk to you later. Sweet dreams.
Crazy shit? No? It gets better.
This morning on the way to work: DD: Hey girl. C: Did you see me? DD: When? C: Just now, I honked my horn at you. You’re on Airline Hwy right now aren’t you? DD: Yes C: I just passed you up going the other way. DD: No, I missed you. C: Are you going to come play with me tonight? DD: If you want me to I will. I don’t want to start playing head games with you. You probably need to go out with your friends. C: You can come with me, I don’t really know if I’m going to meet up with them or not. DD: I thought you wanted to go hang out with your friends? C: Yes, but I really don’t need to go out tonight, I have a big day tomorrow with my daughter’s birthday and all. DD: It’s your choice, I’m game, or I’m going to go do something. C: I want you to come and give it to me good. DD: Alright, you talked me into it. C: Call me when you finish working out. DD: Ok, you want to come and get me after you get off of work. C: Ok, do you remember last week when we were talking about the thanksgiving holidays and you said you wanted to give me thanks. DD: Sure, I also said I could be your slave for the night. C: That’s exactly what I was getting at. DD: Well? C: Well, you’re going to be listening to me tonight. DD: I’ll be at your beck and call. C: I’m gonna ride your face till I come all over it, then I want to lick my juices off your face. I think I’m gonna make you lick my ass. DD: Ok, now I get to walk into work with a boner. C: Can you just come over and fuck me all night long? DD: You know I’ve never had a problem with that.
I have been waiting for this moment all my life. I have always wanted a woman to treat me like a piece of fuck meat.
Girl can play head games or what? I just try and keep my head level, and not play into that shit!
Dex,
I’d love to hear your analogy on these conversations. There’s a lot of crap going on, I made a good hook up-but it’s really getting thick now. So far though, I’m not heady or whipped. I could end up being whipped after tonight if she really does put it on me.
Oh well, I’ll try to return to this thread sometime this weekend. If not, I’ll update on Monday.
Unless of course Banderas drops REALLY big bundles of cash when he goes to Vegas. That would make it different. Still not exactly a sane way of dealing with it though. Sheeeshhh.
That was a lot more information. I definitely have a bunch of thoughts. Some of which might be of some use.
But first I'd like to know more. What was her relationship with her husband like, aside from the fact that he hit her sometimes. (Awful of course) Was that alot?
Did he play around on her a lot, or just the bit with the high school girlfriend he took back up with? Did she suspect he did? How upset was she about that? He left her, right? (I guessed that he did when you said she was still sleeping with him post divorce sometimes before she took up with you, but you never actully confirmed that.) If so, why does she think he left her, rather than just a fling with his old flame? Does he want her back now? Did he marry the girlfriend?
Was he highly dominant emotionally in the relationship? About the same age as her? I gather the sex there wasn't so hot. How old was she when they got married?
Also, does she make a lot more than you? Did you go to the same sorts of colleges? You've said she's very pretty and dresses well. Classily, I gather. Does she more or less look her age, or a lot younger?
I don't know how many times he hit her. She did tell me that she's had the cops at the house 5 times from him hitting her. I think that was after she got tired of it. I have no real idea about how physically abusive he was. I do know he was very verbally abusive, just like my wife.The only thing I know of about him playing around is what she found in his journal. The dumbass wrote down all of his relations with his GF. She only knew once she accidentally found his journal. She never knew he had one. Yes, he left her. She knows he left her for another woman. Yes, he wants her back now that she has shown him that she doesn't need her. He has a real control issue. He wants Charmaine to keep giving it to him while he gets with his GF. He hasn't married her, he probably won't if she sees how he's acting with Charmaine.Yes. Yes. Don't know, but she told me this weekend that I was the best she has ever been with. She was 30.No, I'm quite sure I make plenty more than her. I don't think she went to college. Yes, she dresses like the bomb, she's done the classy thing, and she's has dressed quite provocatively before too. She looks younger than her age. She keeps very good care of herself.
One other thing I forgot was that he also left her because she kept calling the cops on him. He told her that if she called the cops on him again he would leave her. He was going to be leaving her anyway.
On another note,
I spent Friday evening with her. We had the usual great time. On Saturday, she called me and told me to go to her friend Kelly's house, she would meet me there. I got to Kelly's and we talked and hung out for about 30 minutes. I asked Kelly if she knew when Charmaine was coming over, she says she's getting ready for going out. I told her that I had a bunch of stuff in the truck just in case she wanted to go out. Kelly told me, "Go get your stuff, you can take a shower here." I went out to the truck and came back. "Alright, give me your shirt and I'll iron it a little later. I have to go to the store, you can take a shower while I'm gone." I hopped in the shower, when I was done, someone was knocking on the door. I answered it in a towel. It was Charmaine, "Damn baby, whatcha been doin? Where are your clothes?" "You and Kelly been gettin' it on?" "No. I was just....." "Kelly!, got your clothes on yet"(As she's walking into her bedroom) Charmine comes back out, "Where is she?" "She went to the store." "I thought you might be getting some."
Kelly comes back. I mentioned to Kelly that Charmiane thought we were getting it on. K: Well, I guess I missed out. (I walked out of the room) C: You know anytime you want some, get it. K: Thanks, I might take you up on that. C: He's got a huge juicy dick that just fills me up. K: I'm not going to fuck him right now. C: I know, but you can have some. K: I'll get mine if I want it. I heard it all and couldn't believe it. I can't believe this is happening to me. Charmaine looked excited earlier when she thought I was fucking Kelly.
As the night went on, Kelly cooked us a meal, and we put in a movie. Kelly eventually went to bed and told us to make ourselves at home. Charmaine told me she wanted to go out. I said I wasn't really up to it. She said, "Well, let's go riding around town then. Put your good shirt on." After riding awhile she stopped at the bank and got some money. We then went to a local bar, She proceeded to pay my way for everything, cover, drinks, munchies. When we left she took me to a hotel and got a room. I have never had a woman take me out in my life, it was great.Women, I can tell you one thing, if your man is the appreciative type, take him out, treat him. I loved it. She tore me up, from 1 in the morning till 6. At one point, she climb on top and sat on my face, and she stayed there, and stayed there, and stayed there. She must have sat on my face for at least 30 minutes. I never ate so much pussy in my life, and I never wanted up. She is so nasty with me. She told me that she wanted me to break my dick off in her. She says I'm the best fuck she's ever had, no one has come close. I know she could be saying this in the heat of it all, but she told me the same about three or four times between us leaving the hotel and this morning when I talked to her on the phone. I have to get away, my head is going to be huge if she keeps talking to me like that. She's definately good for my confidence. I think the best out of all of this is that she lets me hold her close to me alot. She likes to snuggle alot, which I'm all for. I am really lucky to have found such an affectionate person, coming from the worst situation that I have ever been in. This thing is going to last a very long time if I can help it. I don't seem to have to do any work to keep her interested, she seems to be interested all on her own. She seems to be really into this too.
Oh, one of the things that happened while we were out. Don't read if you've heard enough. Charmaine was talking to a friend when we were out. The dude was pretty ballsy, if you ask me. I can't remember his name so I'll call him "Joe." After some small talk: Joe: So, are you doing ok with your divorce? C: I was having a hard time, but I'm doing real good now (turned and winked at me) J: Are you getting your needs filled? C: Oh yeah, I get filled, by the biggest dick ever, he fucks the shit out of me. I'll never need anything else if he keeps puttin it to me. He had nothing to say. He just stood there with a dumb look on his face. I grabbed her hand and lead her to the dance floor.
I got 6 nuts from friday night till sunday morning. I think I'm becoming a nympho, and you know what, I am OK with it.
Getting tired of this Dex? No response? I guess I've gone a little to far with this. I find that most people enjoy being miserable more than being happy. I hope you all find what your looking for, or have already found it.
Wednesday night phone conversation: C: Hey DD: Hey, I didn't expect to hear from you so early. C: I have a babysitter. DD: Great, would you like to go out with me? C: That's why I called. DD: Well, come on. I need to go get something to eat if you're game. C: Sure, I need to get ready. DD: Ok, call me back when you're ready. I'm going to Calender's for a plantation salad. We can meet there. Talk to you a little later. C: Bye. DD: Bye.
When I met up, we ate and then my friend Todd called. Asked me if I was going out. Said I had Charmaine with me, but we could meet up with him later. He told me I would meet him up at Cadillac Cafe (Local Bar/Club). So eventually we head that way. On the way I told Charmaine that I wasn't going to be staying out late cause I have to get up early to go to work. She was cool with it.
So 12 o'clock rolls up. We leave. I said she could drop me back at my car. She told me that she wanted me to stay over. I did. It was a huge marathon. We went at until 6 in the morning. I called in sick, she did too. So we had sex until about 1 in the afternoon. I got 5 nuts in that time period. I couldn't even begin to imagine how many times she got off. She told me that she didn't ever want to stop seeing me.
On the way back to my car in the afternoon, we're riding down the road and Charmaine says, "When are you going to go find you a girlfriend?" DD: What? C: When are you going to find you a girlfriend? DD: I got a girlfriend, you. C: No, you gotta find someone else. DD: Did I do something? I didn't mean to upset you, if I did something wrong. C: You did nothing wrong, as a matter of fact you do everything right. DD: Then what's the problem? C: I can't keep seeing you, I know I'm going to fall in love with you. DD: No you won't. C: I'm already starting to get there. DD: I don't want to stop seeing you. C: And I, you. DD: If you want it that way, I guess I'll move on. C: No, I don't want it that way. I'm just protecting myself. DD: OK
Well, she called me again, about 2 hours later. We didn't discuss anything about that situation. She also called me at work this morning, telling me I left my phone in her car. So I am supposed see her at lunch to pick it up. I won't bring it up again with her, it'll be her decision if she does want to talk about it again. This really sucks, I don't want to stop seeing her. I'm not in love, she's just so much fun, and that's not including the sex. I guess I'm going to be ending this thread soon. I'm hoping she's just talking shit. I know I'm not going to just completely stop talking to her. She's going to have to tell me to stop talking her. I knew this wasn't going to last long, but I thought it would be quite a few months before this would take place. Suck, suck, suck.
I'm getting caught up in the head games. I've been doing good up to this point. Charmaine came by to drop off the phone. She started kissing me and telling me I was sexy. We talked for a little while, then she had to go back to work. I work 1/2 days on Friday, and I also live about 2 miles from her work. That could be real convenient if things do stay together awhile. So, I went about my day.
In the evening time, she called. We talked a long time. She jokingly said something to the effect of "Will you be my man?" I'm figuring that she was talking shit earlier. She's already starting to confuse me. I really hate that shit. Why must everyone play these fucking head games? Isn't that a little old, a little played out? Why can't we all just be honest? What does fucking someone's head-up do for a relationship? Hurt it? I really believe that if we were honest, we'd have alot better relationships and marriages. I really can't understand what is so hard about that. I just don't understand.
I realize that it is my duty not to feed into that kind of stuff, it just gets hard at times. I wish...fuck it! Wishing is for pussies. I can't start losing confidence in myself, and in my attractiveness. I might have to cut this thing off, especially if she gets me like that a few more times.
Please ignore the rant, I just needed to burn off a little.
I went and saw Charmaine Saturday and Sunday. I went over to her friends house Saturday night, we hung out and had a good time. Charmaine wanted me to stay with her at her friend's house, I had plans to go hunting in the A.M. so that was out. She was getting fresh with her friend, so when I was leaving I told her she should get her some of her friend. She would act like she was going to, and then she would act like she wouldn't. I kept encouraging it. Finally, when I decided to leave, I got her real hot. Her pussy was real wet, she was begging me to fuck her. I left, hoping she would go after her friend. When I asked her the next day if she got her some, she said she was saving herself for me. She also said that she wouldn't do that unless I was with her, cause she wasn't that into women. She thinks they're hot but she prefers dick, but she loves having both at the same time. So, She's saving herself for me, now? Two or three days ago she was telling me that I needed to find someone else.
Do any women have any input? I have giving out enough information for anyone woman to know why she acts like she does. You know, wanting it one way and then the other. Last night she’s telling me she hopes that I’ll stay with her forever. I could understand her saying something like I’m so into you, which she does. She can’t really think she could stay with me forever does she? Can someone fall in love that fast? I have only been seeing her approximately 1 ½ to 2 months. I’m really attracted to her, physically and emotionally. We can communicate on so many levels, (which, in my lifetime, has never happened) yet, I’m not in love. I have only been this comfortable with someone once. It’s great, and I am enjoying myself immensely. I know I could love her, in time, granted, everything keeps moving along like it is. What type of response would be warranted for a statement like that? I don’t want to hurt her feelings by saying something stupid or out of line. How do you respond to “I want to be with you forever”.
Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99
Posted - Nov 20 2001 : 10:09AM
Dave, not sure what to say - other than telling her she's driving you nuts with her whirlwind behavior. Yes, some people can "fall in love" in a day, even in an hour. Those are just words to express one's happiness in being with someone. The only difference between her falling in love and you knowing that you could love her, is that she's a fast and furious and you're a slow and steady. Just different approaches to emotions.
