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All Forums > Sex Talk > Sex Talk Forum Page 50 > I will never have sex with somebody I don't love
AuthorPost
PornBoy
Deactivated User


642 Posts
2/00
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 10:48AM
I told myself last night at like 3 in the morning that I will never again have sex with a girl I don't love. It depresses me. I did this after I had a long conversation with a girl at Target over deodorant and I thought I feel more of a connection with this random girl that i talk about deodorant with than I do with the girls I have sex with. And after the conversation with the girl I didn't feel hollow inside I felt happy that I could relate to someone. So no more random girls from bars because its just not emotionally fulfilling.
Myload
Senior Member

A rose is what you are to me
2069 Posts
6/03
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 12:23PM
You're not alone. I won't have sex with a woman I don't love either.
Kimi Lixx
Senior Member

2012 Posts
6/01
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 12:38PM
I always find it so sad that so many people can't seperate love and sex.

Sex is what you do between your legs.

Love is what you do between your ears.

They can have something to do with each other if you want them to, but they certainly don't have to. If you feel all hollow inside it's because you wanted something that wasn't sex. Quit trying to replace intimacy with sex, they aren't the same.

whoremonger
Member

248 Posts
2/04
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 1:51PM
Very well said. I can have sex with any woman I'm attracted to. Love is an entirely different thing.
Arethusa
Member

Enjoying Sweden
99 Posts
8/02
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 4:15PM
People have different requirements when it comes to enjoying sex. Some people only require that they be attracted to the other person. Some people require that they be in love with the other person. Some people require that the other person be tied up and have a ball gag stuffed down their throat. As long as you know what your requirements are you will have good sex.
 
skronker
Notable Legendary Icon

Scopophiliac
9780 Posts
9/02
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 6:02PM
Some of the best sex I've ever had has been with people I've only just met -- not necessarily strangers , maybe there was a context -- and with people who I was definitely not falling in love with, in fact, it was easier in a way to focus on the sex part knowing it was just a fun time we were having. On the other hand, some of the most INTENSE sex has been with people I was deeply attached to, even though such attachment was fraught with difficulty and drama --- perhaps that pushed the level up a notch. It all just depends.
PornBoy
Deactivated User

642 Posts
2/00
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 9:17PM
I think most people just have sex with people because they are missing something inside. I am one of those people. Hey if you can deal with it good for you. When I think about the sex I've had afterwards its not worth the empty feeling. I guess I need love to have sex.
skronker
Notable Legendary Icon

Scopophiliac
9780 Posts
9/02
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 10:42PM
I'm totally a romantic at heart, but even casual sex never leaves me empty. I always feel pretty great, real zippy in fact. One is not enough and too many is never too much!

But everyone needs different things.

ObiBong
Senior Member

1162 Posts
12/02
Posted - Feb 5 2004 : 1:30AM
A favorite movie quote, from Chasing Amy:

Alyssa: "I’m sure you don’t love every girl you sleep with."
Banky: "Some of them I downright loathe."

Some would say that part of happiness is being able to find joy under less-than-ideal circumstances. Even when sex isn't at its ultimate level, it can still be a great thing.

Myload
Senior Member

A rose is what you are to me
2069 Posts
6/03
Posted - Feb 5 2004 : 8:14AM
I'm able to seperate love from sex. I'm just not one of those people who will have sex with just any woman. There's nothing wrong with not being into casual sex (and I'm not going to cheat on my fiancee). But that's how I feel. Everybody is different.
darkangel
Member

87 Posts
4/03
Posted - Feb 5 2004 : 11:58AM
I second Myload. I, too, separate love from sex because they are apples and oranges, a feeling and an action.

I applaud Pornboy. I have never had - nor ever wanted to have - sex with anyone whom I did/do not have a very deep and lasting love for. For me at least, love is a requisite for sex and I don't have any regrets that I chose that path for my life.

I mean sure, sometimes I wonder whether my choice to turn down a foursome was right (true story), but I know for a fact that the experience would not have made me happy in the same deep and important way that my wife does. It would have left me empty so why bother (or take the abundant risk of disease).

lindi
Senior Member

12345
3205 Posts
9/02
Posted - Feb 5 2004 : 12:44PM
"To thine own self be true."

Every once in a while somebody will tell me that their life was crap until they found Amway, or Jesus, or big screen tv, or orgies, or whatever, and now everything is wonderful, so I should join Amway, find Jesus, get a big screen tv and have orgies.

The empty feeling tells you that it's not right for you. And you should know.

skronker
Notable Legendary Icon

Scopophiliac
9780 Posts
9/02
Posted - Feb 5 2004 : 1:18PM
Don't forget about "Oprah's Book Club"!
floraman
Member

Germany
224 Posts
8/03
Posted - Feb 5 2004 : 1:18PM
I'LL SECOND (NO - THIRD) THAT EMOTION!!!
sanchez_1960
Member

582 Posts
2/03
Posted - Feb 8 2004 : 3:09PM
So what is it when my head is between ya legs?

Edited by - sanchez_1960 on 2/8/2004 3:09:03 PM

 
XXXXXXXX
Member

306 Posts
11/02
Posted - Feb 8 2004 : 4:05PM
PornBoy,

i can't give any advise other than
do what your heart tells you and you will be fine.

Kimi Lixx
Senior Member

2012 Posts
6/01
Posted - Feb 8 2004 : 9:20PM
That's true love!

(just kidding)

Diceman
Member

211 Posts
10/03
Posted - Feb 12 2004 : 2:02AM



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