I told myself last night at like 3 in the morning that I will never again have sex with a girl I don't love. It depresses me. I did this after I had a long conversation with a girl at Target over deodorant and I thought I feel more of a connection with this random girl that i talk about deodorant with than I do with the girls I have sex with. And after the conversation with the girl I didn't feel hollow inside I felt happy that I could relate to someone. So no more random girls from bars because its just not emotionally fulfilling.
I always find it so sad that so many people can't seperate love and sex.
Sex is what you do between your legs.
Love is what you do between your ears.
They can have something to do with each other if you want them to, but they certainly don't have to. If you feel all hollow inside it's because you wanted something that wasn't sex. Quit trying to replace intimacy with sex, they aren't the same.
People have different requirements when it comes to enjoying sex. Some people only require that they be attracted to the other person. Some people require that they be in love with the other person. Some people require that the other person be tied up and have a ball gag stuffed down their throat. As long as you know what your requirements are you will have good sex.
Some of the best sex I've ever had has been with people I've only just met -- not necessarily strangers , maybe there was a context -- and with people who I was definitely not falling in love with, in fact, it was easier in a way to focus on the sex part knowing it was just a fun time we were having. On the other hand, some of the most INTENSE sex has been with people I was deeply attached to, even though such attachment was fraught with difficulty and drama --- perhaps that pushed the level up a notch. It all just depends.
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PornBoy Deactivated User
642 Posts 2/00
Posted - Feb 4 2004 : 9:17PM
I think most people just have sex with people because they are missing something inside. I am one of those people. Hey if you can deal with it good for you. When I think about the sex I've had afterwards its not worth the empty feeling. I guess I need love to have sex.
I'm totally a romantic at heart, but even casual sex never leaves me empty. I always feel pretty great, real zippy in fact. One is not enough and too many is never too much!
Alyssa: "I’m sure you don’t love every girl you sleep with." Banky: "Some of them I downright loathe."
Some would say that part of happiness is being able to find joy under less-than-ideal circumstances. Even when sex isn't at its ultimate level, it can still be a great thing.
I'm able to seperate love from sex. I'm just not one of those people who will have sex with just any woman. There's nothing wrong with not being into casual sex (and I'm not going to cheat on my fiancee). But that's how I feel. Everybody is different.
I second Myload. I, too, separate love from sex because they are apples and oranges, a feeling and an action.
I applaud Pornboy. I have never had - nor ever wanted to have - sex with anyone whom I did/do not have a very deep and lasting love for. For me at least, love is a requisite for sex and I don't have any regrets that I chose that path for my life.
I mean sure, sometimes I wonder whether my choice to turn down a foursome was right (true story), but I know for a fact that the experience would not have made me happy in the same deep and important way that my wife does. It would have left me empty so why bother (or take the abundant risk of disease).
Every once in a while somebody will tell me that their life was crap until they found Amway, or Jesus, or big screen tv, or orgies, or whatever, and now everything is wonderful, so I should join Amway, find Jesus, get a big screen tv and have orgies.
The empty feeling tells you that it's not right for you. And you should know.