I'll admit, whenever I see the latest one-star Vivid abomination posted by Rieekan, I get excited - his reviews and dry sense of humor just tickle me. So, when I noticed this half-star posting, I naturally clicked on it right away.
Redheads Do It Betterquote: "It’s come to my attention lately that I’ve been giving some ridiculously low scores of late. All I can say is that these movies honestly deserve these scores and aren’t worth any money. The men and women in this movie were repellent, the sex was unpleasant to watch and there were absolutely no extras " Rieekan, all I can say is, stick to your guns, and don't give up hope! Even HoustonDon, a man who has seen more bad porn than anyone should have to, has been scraping the bottom of the porn barrel lately. I myself have been critized by some of my loyal readers recently for my detours into the nastier titles, and frankly, they've been a little judgemental. I feel I have let them down somehow, even though I did not appear in, or have anything to do with the making of American Bukkake! One has stated that he's disgusted with me for even viewing it, and has begged me not to do it again..
At any rate, it's no picnic, as any reviewer will tell you. The long-term effects of Too Much Bad Porn are yet to be fully realized. HD had a brush that knocked him out of the game for a bit, and though he seems to be making a slow recovery, I fear his choices of late could set him back permanently. I also worry whether Rieekan's foul mood is an early symptom, or just his hilariously dry wit.
some of my favorite to-the-point quips:
" the tattoo of the word “sex” on her stomach helped, because i had no idea what i was watching."
"next up we have an ugly redhead, an ugly brunette and tt boy (enough said). "
"it’s difficult for me to express my disappointment, but i’ll try anyway."
"overall, i can’t really say i liked anything."
"didn’t like it. wouldn’t recommend it. somehow suspect it won’t be the last vivid movie i review ... it’s a strange world."
"she has the worst case of ass zits i’ve ever seen and this scene was crap. "
"but after watching five minutes of this dvd, you’ll be wondering where your erection went. "
"each of the four scenes begins with some rubbish about her intimate fantasies then proceeds straight to the crappy sex. "
"the story is so stupid i don’t want to talk about it and the execution was so cheesy ... so cheesy ... there’s a mice joke in there somewhere, but after watching miss judge i’m not in a joking mood. "
thanks, guys, you are troopers! 
some of my favorite to-the-point quips:
" the tattoo of the word “sex” on her stomach helped, because i had no idea what i was watching."
"next up we have an ugly redhead, an ugly brunette and tt boy (enough said). "
"it’s difficult for me to express my disappointment, but i’ll try anyway."
"overall, i can’t really say i liked anything."
"didn’t like it. wouldn’t recommend it. somehow suspect it won’t be the last vivid movie i review ... it’s a strange world."
"she has the worst case of ass zits i’ve ever seen and this scene was crap. "
"but after watching five minutes of this dvd, you’ll be wondering where your erection went. "
"each of the four scenes begins with some rubbish about her intimate fantasies then proceeds straight to the crappy sex. "
"the story is so stupid i don’t want to talk about it and the execution was so cheesy ... so cheesy ... there’s a mice joke in there somewhere, but after watching miss judge i’m not in a joking mood. "
thanks, guys, you are troopers!
some of my favorite to-the-point quips:
" the tattoo of the word “sex” on her stomach helped, because i had no idea what i was watching."
"next up we have an ugly redhead, an ugly brunette and tt boy (enough said). "
"it’s difficult for me to express my disappointment, but i’ll try anyway."
"overall, i can’t really say i liked anything."
"didn’t like it. wouldn’t recommend it. somehow suspect it won’t be the last vivid movie i review ... it’s a strange world."
"she has the worst case of ass zits i’ve ever seen and this scene was crap. "
"but after watching five minutes of this dvd, you’ll be wondering where your erection went. "
"each of the four scenes begins with some rubbish about her intimate fantasies then proceeds straight to the crappy sex. "
"the story is so stupid i don’t want to talk about it and the execution was so cheesy ... so cheesy ... there’s a mice joke in there somewhere, but after watching miss judge i’m not in a joking mood. "
thanks, guys, you are troopers!
[Link]
