"I don't make babies when I have sex on film. I save that for someone I love. My son will be raised in a loving, honest, happy, fair, healthy, educational environment. He will be respected and hopefully he will learn to respect those who have earned it. I hope to be on his list of those he respects."

Children who are raised in an environment of love and respect are generally loving and respectful in return (not angry and judgmental, as your story would suggest). I think you could have possibly found a more polite and less melodramatic way to phrase your question. It sounds to me like you've already formed an opinion.

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The problem is that WE, adults, see it from our perspective
and know what is best for the child. I have no doubts
about it that the child will receive all the love and
warmth it can get but...

The question is: When and how do they tell him / her
that one / or both parents have/had sex in front of a
camera.

If you find this dramatic than I guess you are right.
But it is also reality. Can you try to tell me what a
young / or older child must feel once it saw / heard how
his mother performed sex with over a 100 strangers?
That his / her dad filmed people having sex.

Children are very sensitive when it comes to exposure.
Other children who find out about a thing like:
A parent being a porn-star, will use this against the
child on every ocassion. It's wrong but bullying
is human nature and I have made my own experiences.

I think you and Caneboy mean it well but in my opinion you
see this way too simple. Your statement offers no clear
solution as it's not just to raise a child in a loving,
honest, happy, fair, healthy or educational environment
which is important (the clear view of adults)but it is the
the "environment" of the kid itself. A child's perspective
of the world is different from ours. It has no idea about
good or bad or right or wrong. What it does know however
is that his parents do not have sex with other parents.
That's something you don't have to tell a child as
it is instinctive.

Okay...my example of a twelve year kid was not wise...but
todays children know more and explore more than we think.
Not too long ago I found my nephew (14) sitting behind my
computer watching photos of Jenna. (soft - and hardcore)
As I noticed this and turned red in the face he only smiled
at me. "We have already discussed sex in school", he said.
He told me that he saw his first porno at the age of 13,
on cable-television. He knew how to crack the code.

This young man (14!) already knows more about sex than
I knew at the age of 17! My nephew watches porn as many
of his friends but none of them has a parent who earns a
living with sex.

Here's an example of how ruthless kids can be:

At the age of 11, I lived with my parents in the city,
in one of the better sub-urbs. However the nearest
school was one in the "lesser parts"...so I joined a
class-room with kids whose fathers and mothers were not
very wealthy. One little boy, at that time a good friend,
was treated by the others is an outcast. He was banned
from all social activities and no other kid (except myself)
invited him to his / her birthday party. Want to hear why?

*** Because his mother was a prostitute ***

I often played at their home and his mother was one of the
sweetest persons I knew but I felt how my friend suffered.
He was very quiet and avoided all contacts with other kids.
Years later I found out why. He had been beaten up, harrased
spit at and treated like dirt by the other kids in his
street but he never told me.

He was 16 as we met at an other school. He still had not
changed, was quiet and avoided contact. Than the big moment
as the social science teacher asked the kids what they
wanted to become after their studies. One boy stood up
pointed at my friend and shouted: he wants to be a pimp!
The teacher who had no idea what the boy meant looked at my
friend and asked for an explanation. My friend kept his
lips shut but a girl (yes Yogagrl A girl)said: his mother
is a whore.

How did the story end? "Koosje" as we used to call him,
felt that he was not wanted by society so he no longer
cared about moral. He became a notorious criminal in my
city and only a few years ago he committed suicide.
He could not live with the disgrace.

This is not a fictional story. This was sad reality. Just
a young boy raised by a very sweet mother and father in a
loving, honest, happy, fair, and healthy environment.

I love children myself and I wish everyone to have them
but the decision to have children for a porn-star must be
one that is well-condisered.

Also you can not compare a janitor or a garbageman with
someone who had sex for money! Try to explain a kid the
difference between scraping up the garbage from the streets
or plunging a dick in some asshole. What do you think will
he see as worse? (from a child's view I mean).

This is a very important issue. Not just one we should close
our eyes for. Again the question is: HOW and WHEN will you
tell your children, his school, his environment?

Or...is it silence is golden

Spetz

Edited by - spetz on Feb 3 2002

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Edited by - YogaGrrl on Feb 4 2002

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I actually find this very funny!

This distinction you make between a porn-actress and a
whore! Jenna Jameson...or Xaviera Hollander, the famous
Happy Hooker...

Sorry I see no difference here. Both have / had sex for the
sexual pleasures of others and receive(d)payment for what
they did. A prostitute usually works without spreading the
news that she fucks for her income and the identity of her
client remains a secret...whilst a porn-star exhibitions
him / herself. Both have sex for money...but a hooker uses
a condom! Tell me girly where is the big difference???

No comment to he suicidal thing: I had my own share of it.

Okay you made clear that the item is 100% TABOO! That's all!
Also that porn-stars see themselves as something different
than people that prostitute their bodies. Let me tell you a
little secret:

"People who get paid for having sex on camera also
prostitute hemselves!"

Don't misunderstand me: I love to watch people who like
to prositute their beautiful body for my and your pleasure.

Oh besides: By now you should know that Spetz never writes
without intent...Just keep that in mind for the next time.

*** Everything he writes is "circumspect" ***
********** It's his style! ************

Have a nice Sunday

Greetings from,

"the inflammatory Spetz"

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If you have a question, ask it. If you have a story to tell, put it in Story Time.

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I do tend to think it's not a good idea to have children who will at some point be made aware of their parent's sexual activities on film (don't Bridgette Kerkove and Skeeter have 3 kids? Good lord), but then, I also think ANYONE contemplating having a child should have some required psychological testing, as well as offering proof of their ability to support it. I'm sure this view will draw fire, but why do people think we have some 'God-given' right to breed like rats just because we can?

Because the mentally defective, the stupid, and those who live off of government subsidies tend to procreate more than others, we're already feeling the effects of this. Children of porn performers are not among these groups, and not even numerous enough to warrent a support group, or get them a booking Oprah - ergo, they're not at the top of my list of things to worry about.

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While I think spetz's methods do invite criticism (particularly the AFA-like propaganda tenor of "mummy and daddie") I think his question is in no way offensive or innapropriate. I actually find responses to his posts a little laughable. The hollow mantra of "loving caring family environment" insinuates that it breeds some kind of super-children who are impermeable to the myriad of negative stimuli that life can throw at them. And the implication that a child being teased due to an overweight mother or a lowlevel employed father is no different than getting teased about having a parent who was a sex worker. Absolute rubbish. Any and all criticisms of the porn industry and its complex relationships with personal psychology and the larger world is always arbitrarily shot down here. If you ask me, spetz is far less guilty of propagandizing than those who harangue him here. I know the porn world has as a defensive measure practiced a certain level of insularity, but it appears that self delusion is also a defense tactic for many. To suggest that this question of a porn performer coming clean to their adolesccent child about their sex industry past (or present) is a simple issue easily dealt with by a loving, respectful parent-child relationship (conveniently ignoring the reaction of the larger society the child must live in) is at best overly optimistic and at worst child neglect.

Cheers!

Edited by - phallusee on Feb 4 2002

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I am a porn-viewer and I enjoy watching adults having sex!

So why my article? I read a few weeks ago on a European
website (wished I could remember which one) about a still
in porn active Czech porn-actress (24 years) who had to
raise two little children. She answered every question the
interviewer asked except one:

How and when will you tell your little ones what you do for
a living? Complete silence!

Now this may sound stupid, but this young lady said she had
never thought about it. So far I get the impression, from
the replies to my story that it is a very normal thing of
telling your children some day that you and /or your
partner made money by having sex with other people.
I see this a bit different. Once they are old enough to
understand what their parents do / did... wouldn't you say
that this will have a tremendous effect on a child?

Is there a child (adult!) in this forum whose parents do
or did porn? What was your reaction as you parent(s) told
you?

Despite of the attempted pop psychology by some of the
members... no one of us can really tell us how a porn-star
approaches such delicate matter. This is not just telling a
kid what kind of work you do...this is something which will
raise questions with a child.

May be that the child itself will accept it, but how will
his environment react to this? In a puritan country like
the US, where porn is voided in many States? Will his
schoolfriends accept that their friend has a mother /
father who has / had sex for money and for the pleasure of
thousands...or even millions?

I was twelve once and never thought about these sexual
things! Of course not...as your mother or father did
not tell you! But what if? How would you have reacted?

It's the answer to these questions I seek. Just curiousity
and I have no intention to expose or harm anyone!

Maybe that a porn-star who has children likes to inform us
how he she / did it. I find this very interesting. I have
searched the web for articles about this matter but no one
(porn-stars)(dares)talks about this. It's taboo!

I offer the forum my apology for the way I started this
thread. It was a bit too dramatic but I only wrote it this
way, to point you at a very serious matter.

My response to some of the ridiculous personal remarks:

These what you call pop psychology remarks, addressed to me,
were rather tasteless. Next time come up with a normal
answer, don't attack me personally and don't listen to
the crap others are telling about me.

If you want to know the truth and an explanation why they
say and write this about me...send me an e-mail! Or I will
tell you over the phone what exactly happened, my response
and the many things I have in mind for those who made fun
of me...Spetz is not the person that forgives or forgets!

The others that have written so nicely about me:

Next time leave any of these remarks about my mental state
as this crap does not belong in here and I know damn well
myself about the serious problems I HAD in the past.
It is totally unnecessary to remind me of that on every
ocassion.

Spetz

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Not every adult performer is reluctant to speak on this issue, and I tried to be helpful by providing a quote from one of them. I never said this was the only possible response (in fact, I said the opposite in the deleted post), and it has never been my intention to trivialize the difficulties of children who grow up in unconventional households. I read a certain dismissiveness in your initial response, however, which indicated to me that you were more interested in making a point than in an open-minded discussion of this issue. If I was overly harsh, then I apologize for my tone; however, I do not believe my words were inaccurate.

Edited by - YogaGrrl on Feb 4 2002

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Lets look at the evidence, so poorly hidden...

'Little Justin'... refers of course to a child born of a man called Justin.
Tattoo's on the blonde girl... Well thats a bit obvious now isn't it?
Initials 'J.J.'... well... I wonder...

Funny how Jenna Jameson has tattoos, a fiance called Justin, and we all know about the tattoos...

Spetzy... your hatred of all things Jenna is well documented since you were forced out of ClubJenna.
Fortunately, friends of Jenna and Justin, such as myself, are able to post freely in response to your
rants to show you up for the idiot you are.

You have been shown up as a fool on www.generossextreme.com and now people on here are
beginning to see why you were kicked out of ClubJenna.

I can honestly believe that the one and only reason you asked this question was so that you could
write '...Mummy is a whore...' and laugh to yourself that you have basically told the world your
feelings about Jenna in a roundabout way.

Spetzy... people on here have responded to your inane story/question without, possibly, seeing your
hidden agenda behind it. I would hope that the only good thing that has come out of all this is that
more and more people are becoming aware of the sort of person you really are... Bitter, sick and twisted...

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Will you ever tell your 12 year old son about the time that you and your girlfriend had sex in the women's room of a public restaurant? Or how about the time you went to bed with another woman a day or two after your fiance passed away. Must have really missed the fiance. How about the many times that you had sex with your fiance and another woman at the same time? This could have been little spetzys mother. Or were all of these stories that you told just more lies.

How are you going to explain to little spetzy that his dad is a pathetic sick little person. I won't even call you a man because you do not deserve that respect.

How will you tell little spetzy that you were banned from ClubJenna because not only did you disrespect Jenna so much but also 99% of the members of the site. How about all of the lies when you tried to post an apology in the site and said that you would never again disrespect Jenna and then in less then a week you would be right back to your assinine ways.

Can you also brag to little spetzy about how you were able to hack into websites thereby bypassing pay the fees for these certain sites. In my book that make you a thief.

I hope that little spetzy can someday be very proud of his lying thief of a father.

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