Kami Andrews

So there I was, chillin' in the old neighborhood porn emporium last night, lookin' for new stimulation, when a couple of racks over I spot the boxcover for the new release of "6 Black Sticks, 1 White Trick Vol.5".

Great picture of the voluptuous Ava Devine being groped by the fellas on the box. Drop what I'm doing and make a line for the tape, already reaching for my wallet to get the rental fee.

Trouble was, unbeknownst to me, some other loser had the same idea. And he was already over there. He picks up the box and starts checking it out. I arrive and lurk next to him, grinding my teeth and pretending to scan some bullshit Vivid boxcover, while I pray this guy doesn't rent this tape. He doesn't put it down and finally, I can stand it no more.

ME: "Hey Dawg, you gonna rent that tape?"

HIM: "I don't know, probably."

ME: "Well can I take a look at the box?"

Hands it to me.

I turn it over and there are the obligatory pictures of Ava giving as good as she's getting from the crew, (Ava is a big, wanton, energetic girl. You'd better come strong when you step to her. I saw her outstanding performance in Gangland 46. , in which she looked like the boys hadn't given her enough to chew on.)

BUT, further down the box, I see a shot of the absolutely scrumptious, delectable, Kami Andrews getting her beautiful body just worked by the fellas. Kami was glorious, and looked like she was in heaven. Standing there, drinking her in, I began to feel that old volcanic bubbling in my scrotal sac. The warmth spread throughout my loins. That's it, I gotta take this puppy home. NOW! I can't wait the 24 hours for this dude next to me to get his spooge on and then return the tape.

Feigning ignorance, or stupidity, or both, I head for the counter, box cover in hand, still staring at Kami. Suddenly I hear; "Yo Man, what are you doing?"

ME: "What's up, oh, you still want to rent this? I'm sorry, I thought you were putting it back."

HIM: "No, I picked it up first and I want to rent it."

I looked at him. The throbbing in my johnson was in full effect, and my testosterone level was now off the chart. I wanted Kami, and I was ready to throw down with this dude to get her.

But fortunately, with the one still connected and working brain cell I had left, I asked myself; "Can I really afford to get arrested for rolling around in the aisles with some guy in a porn store over a porn tape? Will that complicate my life? Worse than it already is?"

Moments of clarity are a beautiful thing.

So, here I sit. With you my fellow porn afficiandos. Waiting my turn at Kami.

And wondering how it got to this.

BSD

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