"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling
Little Puck Interview| Author | Post |
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| Xenomorgue Deactivated User 50 Posts 9/06 | I am an older guy (48), always been single, who only recently has started to date women. About a year ago I was on a blind date, which turned out te be surprisingly pleasant and continued for about three hours. Since then she and I have quite nice contact. We have gone to a couple of fine restaurants for dinner (yes, I pay the bill). Sometimes we drink a glas of wine at her place. We also phone, email and MSN each other regularly. You could say that a friendship has developed. On the other hand we both realize that there is not much to base our friendship on. We have very different life-styles, characters, interests etc. There is no physical attraction between us (maybe if we had met 15-20 years ago?). I don't think that there is a real chance that what we now have, will develop into courtship or a sexual relationship. Perhaps I should be happy with the status quo. However I am a bit frustrated that there isn't any development or progress. For me the novelty factor, i.e. talking to a charming woman and taking her out for dinner, is already wearing off. Sure it is kind of nice but not earth-shattering. Our MSN/email contact is okay but it is just the kind of small talk that I can easily do without. In fact I tend to prefer the contacts with my best friends, guys who I have known for many years and who share my interests. I am at a crossroads, wondering where to go. [Link] |
| astroknight Questionable Moderator Tastes so good... 4187 Posts 11/99 | "Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling |
| jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | |
| croy Platinum Member Discovry 4574 Posts 3/04 | |
| Xenomorgue Deactivated User 50 Posts 9/06 | |
| croy Platinum Member Discovry 4574 Posts 3/04 | |
| jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | |
| Xenomorgue Deactivated User 50 Posts 9/06 | (1) Dating is -like gambling and religion- a form of self-deception. It feeds on anxiety but gives only false hope. (2) As you get older dating becomes more illusory, as both the probability of mutual attraction and the probability of compatibility in life-style etc become smaller and smaller. (3) If you date a woman and end up being "friends", this is like receiving the consolation prize for failed courtship. (4) While MM fiendship is robust and lasting, MF friendship is volatile and transient. |
| catfacemcgee Member 43 Posts 7/06 | |
| jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | The thing I like about age is a lot of women (and men) are more grounded and mature. They've gone through their Princess phase and they're no longer looking for Prince Charming, they know we're flawed and they know which flaws they can live with (spending too much time in the garage getting dirty) and which they can't live with (liars, cheats, greedy, self-centered, etc). That's up to you. I have far more women friends than men, and I've had as much or more trouble with the guys than with the girls. |
| croy Platinum Member Discovry 4574 Posts 3/04 | 1) All those long relationships and marriages out there say that hope is not false. 2) As people get older, they are more reluctant to change their routine to take a risk. If people have learned what is important and what is not from their life experiences, their relationships at that point will be better. Less illusions to encumber the relationship. Many have found that previous relationships help with the current one because something was learned from pervious mistakes. 3) Sometimes a real friendship is better than a short fling. Well, those short flings are fun. But this is another lame excuse for not trying. If you don't try you get nothing. 4) Not at all, I have friends that are women. These aren't one of those stupid things where I haul stuff around for them or buy stuff in vain hope of getting some. In one of these friendships her husband became a good friend too. |
| DzaR Deactivated User Deep Within The Consciousness Of My Own Mind 64 Posts 9/06 | Then this is what you do ... When she goes to the W.C., confidently go through her purse and find her little book where she keeps all her girlfriends' phone numbers. Confidently copy out all the ladies' names and numbers you find in there, then, obviously, hide your copy for later perusal. Confidently replace her little book where you found it, and when she returns from the W.C., confidently act as if nothing has happened (just pretend that you are Tom Cruise, super-duper actor, full of confidence 24/7/365 & 1/4, although everyone in the world knows that he is a complete asshole). If nothing in the way of sex happens between you both that night, then make good use of your confident-o-so-confident thievery skills. Call her girlfriends, one by one, as any man of confidence would do, ask them for a date, and see what happens from there. Women love a man full of confidence (i.e. an absolutely narcissistic asshole). |
| licker Senior Member Heretic, Iconoclast, Skeptic 1141 Posts 8/03 | Unfortunately, the way many girls were raised in the 1950s, there are going to be a lot of Cinderella Complexes out there. I'm giving it a rest for a couple of years. Or maybe 3 or 4. Well, as your hormone levels get lower, sexual attraction becomes less and less of an urgent factor. Common interests matter much more. Also, you won't be so willing to put up with a lot of misery, sulks and tantrums just to have a partner. This fact may be new and surprising to her as much as it is to you.It still can be fun to find a partner whose company and conversation you like. Many things like holiday travel, for example, can be more enjoyable as a couple. That came out sounding really lame, but you probably get my drift. Strongly disagree. Worthwhile female friends are damn hard to find. Make the most of the ones you have.If one of you still views the other as a potential sex partner, then it's going to end in tears. If you are genuine friends because of common interests, the chances are better. |
| ziniaraya Member London 194 Posts 4/03 | You say 'there is no physical attraction between us'. The way you put it, suggests that is on both sides. So all that can leave for both of you is the objective of friendship. And that's what that small talk, MSN messages,'not earth shattering stuff', is all about. I'll bet that is all you are really doing with your pals - and it is enough. So, if it ain't enough with this woman, then really you might as well admit that (a) an ongoing friendship with her is not a starter and (b) that if your still thinking about it, then really your holding out for a shag and she just ain't interested. So my advice is - delete the phone number from your phone - now (and that other bit of paper with the details so you don't get tempted later) - and move on. Z. |
| croy Platinum Member Discovry 4574 Posts 3/04 | |
| licker Senior Member Heretic, Iconoclast, Skeptic 1141 Posts 8/03 | It's probably just the luck of the draw, or perhaps that the girls I met back then were all university students with a wider and more positive outlook on life. |
| croy Platinum Member Discovry 4574 Posts 3/04 | |
| licker Senior Member Heretic, Iconoclast, Skeptic 1141 Posts 8/03 | |
| Xenomorgue Deactivated User 50 Posts 9/06 | |
| croy Platinum Member Discovry 4574 Posts 3/04 |
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