Lately, I have been coming down on myself for my own success, asking myself so many hard, hard questions, bugging myself on success, embettering myself, reading books and I have been reading Elizabeth Wurtzel & Les Brown books. I have been asking myself "Is there a such thing in the world as a loose woman but there's no such thing a loose man?!" And even the mind-bending "Why are boys raised differently from girls?"
Everyone in the world is dysfunctional in their own ways. Women, men, children, teens, adults, elderly people, everyone in the world is so screwed the f*ck up!
In my Ethics class, I have made many heads turn, about 2 months ago, with talking about this worldwide notion that there are loose women, but not loose men. I had made this comment because of what I know, not because of what I didn't know blabbering about things I have no idea about like some people (being young and dumb). I do understand that many things are better left unsaid, but here's my envision on it...
Think about it: it's not just on TV, music and media. It's in the real world, too! Why is it that when guys have sex with different people, they are considered as heroes by other guys and even certain women, but when a female sleeps around with different people, she is considered as nasty, slutty or a person with no self respect? Men have freedoms women don't have as well as women have many freedoms men do not have and as guys, we have to take bigger responsibilities in what we do. AT ALL TIMES!
Just like... why is it that when you see lesbian women hold hands or kissing, many people think it's the cutest thing in the world while when we see gay guys kissing and fiddling with eachother, we are so terrified by it?! One friend of mine, we talked about this when I was 17 and he was 17 too. I've asked him this same question and he says "Because this is a male-dominated society!" He did not have to say anything else afterwards.
Why ARE boys and girls raised differently? I mean, girls mature faster than boys do. My sister is 14 and she was 1 hex s more mature than me when I was 14 and even more mature than me now in many ways. One reason why IS because of this notion. Ask yourselves this is you are a female... If you had a brother, was he allowed more freedoms and was allowed to stay out later when he was 15-17 than you when you were that same age? Because of the fear that your parents have that you will lose this "innocent young girl" label that they have wanted you to carry for as long as you could or as long as they have made you?
All I am doing is stating trends. Not coming down hard on anyone.
In my ethics class, I had talked about statutory rape and how I feel much of it is a bunch of bullsh*t. I don't care what the law says about statutory rape. That law was created because many people feel like anyone under the "super" age of 18 should not have sex because they do not know what it means and they want to have it just to have it? Give me a break. Many adults have it just to have it... with people they have only known for days, weeks, as they are drunk/high, whatever. There are a shitload of 13-17 year old boys who have this idea that any beautiful woman who will let them screw, let alone see them naked, they will think that it's a God-send. This attitude many not be good or healthy, but hey! That's life. There are things that I believe can mess up a teenage child's mind worse than this that many people do not pay attention to! Sad, isn't it? I think so! When an adult woman has sex with an underaged boy, it is actually not the same as an adult man screwing an underaged girl!
But then again... look at this, too! The Who's guitarist and R. Kelly gets ridiculed by many of us (males and females) for "child porn or statutory rape." But... what if Thursday (or in the future), we hear about Gwen Stefani or Madonna screwing a 14/15 year old boy/letting the young boys break their virginities to them, would we despise them that much for it??? Would it get to the point where we would not want to buy anymore No Doubt or Madonna cds like many people choose not to buy R. Kelly's music anymore since the rumors about him? I do not think so! Prove me wrong!
Is it true that when all young boys think about is sex and that as long as a female is beautiful, we want to screw and we can get away with it from our fathers letting us off the hook while teenage girls don't think about sex as much as teenage boys do and teenage girls only want sex from some guy who can knock them off their feet and rock their world? And if some parents' teenage daughter came home and says "I had sex with Mr. Red", then it's like their world will come to an end and they will be livid (5 degrees past pissed)? And is this another reason why they are raised differently?
Why is it that guys hate women who sleep around with 20 different guys in a month or women who get drunk and screw 3 or more guys one night, but at the same time, we want to sleep with as many beautiful females as we can? We want the beautiful women to conform and give in to us, sexually, but we hate the ones who sleep around with as many guys as possible? Is it because maybe we expect more out of women because they give birth to our children and they hold the future in their hands or is it just because we, as guys, are just plain stupid???
Yes, teenage years are a hard time for girls. I can assume it's because of how they are viewed and chased after by young boys. I MAY BE WRONG. IF I AM, SAY IT! Teenage years are a hard time for boys too. Wurtzel said in her book "BITCH", that it's because this trajectory for boys are so demanding. She says "you want to be a man, be harder, stronger, (be smarter than the typical American man) and lay as many beautiful babes as possible. There's so much pressure built in for this demand for accumilation... These young boys think that if you are going harder, higher and faster, then unless you wind up in a car accident, you are doing the right thing." Is it the same way of why teenage girls have so much pressure on them because of the pressure they may recieve from boys and/or they want to be as beautiful as the girl in the fashion magazine or is it honestly worse than this?
If not or if yes, then why is it that people come down harder on teenage boys and how they act and this-that? Is it because we have to have more responsibilities as men than women do? Is this another reason why it's OK for women to explore their sexuality in so many ways while guys can't have the same luxuries? Why is it that we look at our fathers or our uncles as heroes when they sleep around with every Anita, but we despise our aunts for sleeping around every Tom, Dick or Harry she brings to her home? It's because we are just plain stupid and contrary, living in a fantasy world or what exactly is it?
When I had mention some of this in my Ethics class, this lady had said "People should get off of this notion of how 'boys will be boys'." Well, if boys should be boys, girls should be girls. But if people got off of that notion, would you forsee how much more boring and chaotic this world would be? Ice-T's book "The Ice Opinion" said some of the most truest things that I would know regarding this and he talked about the hormones in boys and the drive for sex and that "...it is what helps men wake up in the morning. If the male's drive for sex were to be eliminated, then the whole economy would crash. We would not be at work, school, (grooming ourselves), etc... All we would do is get fat, eat and watch TV. Why do you think many men (young and old) want to be successful? To have access to women. The feeling is innate in us!" These are feelings in the male species that cannot be taken away from us. If they were, we would have no reason to live. No reason to become successful, well many of us.
Is it because of this notion why boys and girls are not raised with the same expectations and why sex doesn't mean the same thing to both?! Why they should not act the same
way? Is this why females get offended when people SAY that there's no such thing as a loose guy, but there are a world of loose women, even though, in many instances, they get treated like this?
If there ARE loose men, who are they? The ones like R. Kelly? Pedophiles? Perverts? Homosexuals? Men who have massive child support problems and who abandon a village of females after they get them pregnant???
Edited by - victorio on Jan 28 2003
Topic Moved by - Steph on Jan 29 2003
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