Masturbation during sex: a turn-off for the guy?

Author	Post
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 5:33PM It seems to me that when a woman masturbates her pussy during anal sex with a guy, then this makes the guy look inadequate and a little bit irrelevant. Because, obviously, all of his efforts and his cock aren't enough to satisfy his woman. The guy is so inadequate that she has to take over and satisfy herself. It's a turn off, rather than a turn on. And this isn't just my feeling. At Yahoo Answers website, I've read complaints of one woman that her boyfriend didn't want her to masturbate herself, while she was having sex with him. She was complaining about it, because having sex with the guy didn't bring her to orgasm. She had to masturbate herself during her sex with the guy in order to have an orgasm. In other words, she was saying that the guy's fuck was a little inadequate for her, and that's why she had to help the guy to satisfy her by masturbating herself. And of course, her guy realized this, and it made him feel inadequate. I always thought that a guy banging his lady's ass and vigorously masturbating her pussy with his hand at the same time was pretty hot. Because the guy was literally storming her pussy and ass at the same time with everything he had. It looked like the guy was pulling out all the stops and being a super-stud with her, not just with his cock but with his hands too. There is a big difference between the lady masturbating herself and the guy masturbating her. The lady masturbating herself makes the guy look weak and inadequate. While the guy masturbating the lady while he is banging her with his cock makes him look verile, sexually aggressive, and a real stud with her. It has the opposite meaning. A lot of porn movies nowadays show women masturbating their pussies, while a guy is banging their ass. And I don't know how this looks to other porn fans, but for me this is a bit of a turn-off. Because it makes the guy look weak, inadequate, and little bit irrelevant when comes to satisfying the lady. [Link]
danielle_ftv Member 307 Posts 12/11	Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 6:51PM It's not at all common for a woman to orgasm from penetration only and it's rare for a woman to orgasm from anal penetration alone. The majority of women (70-80%) need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Google "can anal sex alone make a woman orgasm" and see what WOMEN have to say about it. Danielle FTV - www.DanielleFTV.com [Link]
mike23 Member 509 Posts 7/12	Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 7:27PM attitudes like this are why many women fake orgasms. They don't wanna make the guy feel 'emasculated' so instead of taing control of their own pleasure they jut fake it. However I feel MUCH more emascualted if I know my lady isn't getting off at all than I do if she's getting herself off. I'd rather her touch her clit the way she likes(or show me how she likes it) than her fake it or not get off at all. Plus for a lot of women it's the combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation that feels best. But really dude, it's important to realize every woman is different when it comes to what will get her off. You're better off communicating with each woman as an individual than going to yahoo answers to try to figure out. Communication is key when it comes to this subject. [Link]
MorganKane Senior Member 6037 Posts 10/10	Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 10:06PM Generally speaking, watching a woman pleasure herself is always a huge turn on, at least for me. Perhaps porn girls masturbates during anal sex because getting fucked in the ass by large cocks in uncomfortable positions doesn't automatically bring the girls to mind blowing orgasms. Masturbating during anal might help the girl relax and feel less discomfort or pain. Edited by - MorganKane on 2/26/2013 10:07:49 PM [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 11:51PM danielle_ftv wrote: It's not at all common for a woman to orgasm from penetration only and it's rare for a woman to orgasm from anal penetration alone. The majority of women (70-80%) need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Google "can anal sex alone make a woman orgasm" and see what WOMEN have to say about it. Danielle FTV - www.DanielleFTV.com Click to expand I agree that clitoral stimulation is what most women need to orgasm. But there is a big difference between the anal guy masturbating the woman's pussy to make her orgasm and the woman masturbating her own pussy during anal sex. The first makes the guy look like he knows what he is doing. While the second makes the guy look so ignorant about sex that the woman doesn't even bother to show him how to please her. She just does it herself, while he is pretending to be a stud. Edited by - Dan on 2/26/2013 11:54:32 PM [Link]

matchmaker Senior Member 24914 Posts 4/05	Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 1:22AM ^I see your point. I also would prefer to see the guy rubbing her pussy while banging her, but at the same time, if the guy isn't doing that, I could see why she would start to rub herself towards an orgasm. It would be hotter seeing the guy rub her off to an orgasm than seeing her rub herself to an orgasm. [Link]
scorpiusdeus Member Nice thing about tattoos, I'm spending much less on porn now. 225 Posts 9/11	Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 5:19PM I've had a bit of both. My previous girlfriend could not cum at all through penetration and it took a lot of finger work to get her off. My current girlfriend almost cums from just sucking me off. She cums most from penetration and then from direct clitoral stimulation, but she prefers me to do it. I would imagine that with anal, some help would be need to make the woman cum from that. As long as my ladies are happy I don't care what is required. [Link]
BangersAndMash Member 290 Posts 3/09	Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 6:35PM i love posts like these. they say so much a about the OP, way more than they intended, that it becomes more interesting than the topic itself. [Link]
danielle_ftv Member 307 Posts 12/11	Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 6:48PM Dan wrote: danielle_ftv wrote: It's not at all common for a woman to orgasm from penetration only and it's rare for a woman to orgasm from anal penetration alone. The majority of women (70-80%) need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Google "can anal sex alone make a woman orgasm" and see what WOMEN have to say about it. Danielle FTV - www.DanielleFTV.com Click to expand I agree that clitoral stimulation is what most women need to orgasm. But there is a big difference between the anal guy masturbating the woman's pussy to make her orgasm and the woman masturbating her own pussy during anal sex. The first makes the guy look like he knows what he is doing. While the second makes the guy look so ignorant about sex that the woman doesn't even bother to show him how to please her. She just does it herself, while he is pretending to be a stud. Edited by - Dan on 2/26/2013 11:54:32 PM Click to expand Maybe I've just been unlucky but a good majority of the guys I've been with do NOT know how to touch a woman's clit. They are either way too soft, way too hard or not even in the general vicinity of my clit. Danielle FTV - www.DanielleFTV.com [Link]
jfarley Member 242 Posts 5/09	Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 8:31PM mike23 wrote: But really dude, it's important to realize every woman is different when it comes to what will get her off. You're better off communicating with each woman as an individual than going to yahoo answers to try to figure out. Communication is key when it comes to this subject. Click to expand +1. I love it when women communicate what they want in porn too. Prinzzess gives great communication! [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Feb 28 2013 : 2:19AM danielle_ftv wrote: Maybe I've just been unlucky but a good majority of the guys I've been with do NOT know how to touch a woman's clit. They are either way too soft, way too hard or not even in the general vicinity of my clit. Click to expand It's true that most guys don't know how to do it well, because this isn't a part of people's sex education in school or at any other place. And parents don't pass on their sexual experience to their kids either. This is one type of knowledge and experience that gets mostly lost from one generation to the next. People have to re-invent the wheel so to say again and again with every new generation. And it's no surprise that many men are still in the Stone Age, when it comes to them knowing how to please a woman. One experienced woman showed me how to masturbate her pussy and gave me some practice too. Basically, it involves covering the woman's whole pussy with the flat of my hand and massaging her pussy-lips, rather than her clitoris directly. Because when you massage pussy-lips like that, then her pussy-lips slip and slide around her clitoris resulting in pleasure for her. My hand would come into contact with her clitoris once in a while, but not necessarily stay in contact all the time. I've tried this pussy masturbation technique with several women, and it worked well with all of them. And actually, some porn movies show this kind of pussy masturbation technique too. A good example is the way Manuel Ferrara masturbates the pussy of Charley Chase in 'Big Wet Asses 21' during his anal sex with her in the reverse cowgirl position. You can see it for yourself in the free Big Wet Asses 21 trailer. Manuel does a pretty good job on her pussy. And I think this is what we need to see more of in anal porn movies, rather than the woman masturbating herself. When the woman masturbates herself during her sex with the guy, then it's like they are having sex side-by-side individually, rather than with each other. The guy is enjoying himself inside her ass, while she is enjoying herself by masturbating her pussy. It's not a true sexual intercourse, because instead of pleasing each other, they are each pleasing themselves on their own. Edited by - Dan on 2/28/2013 2:26:42 AM [Link]
Gentleman Jon All-Star Member 1881 Posts 6/05	Posted - Feb 28 2013 : 9:02PM It doesn't really bother me at all. [Link]
js3142 Member 55 Posts 1/12	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 8:24AM Dan wrote: It seems to me that when a woman masturbates her pussy during anal sex with a guy, then this makes the guy look inadequate and a little bit irrelevant. Click to expand I've never felt that at all. In any scene, anal or otherwise, I think it's hot if a girl is rubbing her clit provided she seems to be getting pleasure from this. There are times when a girl looks (and probably is) like she's rubbing her clit purely because a director asked her to, which is a total turn-off. The worst is where a girl in a multi-girl scene spots the camera is on her and then starts idly rubbing her clit. Bottom line, hot scenes are ones where the girl at least appears to be getting turned on and enjoying herself. Yes if this is purely down to what the guy is doing then great, but that's not essential for me, particularly when it comes to anal sex. [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 8:18PM ^ I suppose, there are masturbation movies, where a lone woman masturbates herself. And there are porn fans who like watching this kind of sex. But you need to be in the mood for this kind of thing to enjoy watching it, because it's different from sexual intercourse between two people. It's a different type of porn genre that doesn't necessarily go well with sexual intercourse, where two or more people are pleasuring each other. There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself, when you are alone. But when you are in the company of your sex-partner, then it's only polite to invite your sex partner to participate with you. I think it's a little rude to start ignoring your partner in the middle of your sexual encounter by doing your own thing, instead of inviting your partner to participate with you. True partners are supposed to be pleasuring each other, instead of each doing their own thing side by side, as if they are strangers and not partners. [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 8:29PM ^ There is no reason why digital stimulation cannot be participatory, and it does not entail ignoring your partner. I think this has more to do with you and your own perceptions than the realities of sex. [Link]

Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 8:37PM ^ Porn movies are made for the perception of the viewers. Because viewers can only watch and not participate in the sex action. Realities of sex is what the porn actors are experiencing with each other. But they are having sex for show and just for their own benefit. And that's why they should take into account people's perceptions, and make sure that those perceptions turn out well. That's what making good porn movies is all about. Sex action is designed to make a good impression on the audience. [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 8:43PM NM I think I'm wasting my time. Edited by - Gore Gore Girl on 3/1/2013 8:45:44 PM [Link]
Redish Poetic Moderator Long and Cursive road to the Ivory Pagoda in the province of Loraine 4076 Posts 12/03	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 8:47PM Someday, hopefully, you will realize you perceive things thru your own prism, and perhaps stop talking for other people. One can hope. [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 8:57PM ^ I think this is a typical response people make, when they lose an argument. Instead of talking about the issue at hand in a logical and rational way, they change the topic and start denigrating their opponent. This kind of a maneuver is called an ad hominem fallacy. [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14595 Posts 3/02	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 9:05PM No, it isn't. [Link]
Redish Poetic Moderator Long and Cursive road to the Ivory Pagoda in the province of Loraine 4076 Posts 12/03	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 9:08PM You are trying to state that your view is the only view, Because it makes the guy look weak, inadequate, and little bit irrelevant when comes to satisfying the lady. Click to expand The first makes the guy look like he knows what he is doing. While the second makes the guy look so ignorant about sex that the woman doesn't even bother to show him how to please her. She just does it herself, while he is pretending to be a stud. Click to expand When the woman masturbates herself during her sex with the guy, then it's like they are having sex side-by-side individually, rather than with each other. The guy is enjoying himself inside her ass, while she is enjoying herself by masturbating her pussy. It's not a true sexual intercourse, because instead of pleasing each other, they are each pleasing themselves on their own. Click to expand But you need to be in the mood for this kind of thing to enjoy watching it, because it's different from sexual intercourse between two people. It's a different type of porn genre that doesn't necessarily go well with sexual intercourse, where two or more people are pleasuring each other. There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself, when you are alone. But when you are in the company of your sex-partner, then it's only polite to invite your sex partner to participate with you. I think it's a little rude to start ignoring your partner in the middle of your sexual encounter by doing your own thing, instead of inviting your partner to participate with you. True partners are supposed to be pleasuring each other, instead of each doing their own thing side by side, as if they are strangers and not partners. Click to expand All of this, all of it, is your opinion, not fact as you are trying to state it. You are more than welcome to have your own opinion, but just because you think it is a fact doesn't make it so. Why did I even bother ... Edited by - redish on 3/1/2013 9:09:42 PM [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 9:16PM ^ I haven't used the word 'only', except to say that "it's only polite to invite your sex partner to participate with you." And I don't see anything objectionable about this statement. Perhaps if you look at it from a different angle, then you will understand what I mean. If for example, a guy starts masturbating himself, instead of having the lady do it for him, this would be considered very strange and rude indeed, unless the guy is doing it to shoot his cum on the lady and not just to pleasure himself. And if this is true for the guy, then it makes sense that same might be true for the woman too. Unless you believe in having a double standard that applies only to men and not to women. Edited by - Dan on 3/1/2013 9:19:52 PM [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 9:23PM Dan wrote: ^ I haven't used the word 'only', except to say that "it's only polite to invite your sex partner to participate with you." And I don't see anything objectionable about this statement. Click to expand You said you were speaking of porn exclusively. What do you mean by "sex partner" and who is "you"? It sounds like you're talking about real life sex. Are you the partner to the on screen performer? What do you mean by "true partners"? I think you need to rethink your terminology, as well as exactly what you're talking about. If for example, a guy starts masturbating himself, instead of having the lady do it for him, this would be considered very strange and rude indeed, unless the guy is doing it to shoot his cum on the lady and not just to pleasure himself. And if this is true for the guy, then it makes sense that same might be true for the woman too. Unless you believe in having a double standard that applies only to men and not to women. Click to expand Does the guy masturbating himself have her finger in his ass? Is he participating with the woman in other ways? You are drawing a totally lopsided analogy here. [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 9:41PM ^ My point is that true sexual intercourse is when people are doing things to each other, instead of doing things by themselves beside each other. And this isn't just my idea or my perception. This is the dictionary meaning of the word 'intercourse' that you can find in any dictionary on the internet. [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 9:47PM ^ Really? Could you provide a link to the dictionary entry that says this? And I thought we were talking about porn not "true sexual intercourse"? Thanks for answering none of the questions I posed and not in any way asking questions of yourself. [Link]

Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 9:57PM ^ According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, there are three meanings of the word intercourse: 1 connection or dealings between persons or groups 2 exchange especially of thoughts or feelings : communion 3 physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person All of these meanings say that there is some kind of interaction between people, rather than an individual performing some act by himself or herself. [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Mar 1 2013 : 10:25PM See my original reply. Do not collect $200. [Link]
js3142 Member 55 Posts 1/12	Posted - Mar 2 2013 : 4:20PM Dan wrote: ^ I suppose, there are masturbation movies, where a lone woman masturbates herself. And there are porn fans who like watching this kind of sex. Click to expand Dan, I think you misunderstood my post. All of my comments referred to masurbation during sex, not solo. [Link]
ninja1 Senior Member 2939 Posts 1/08	Posted - Mar 3 2013 : 11:48AM Dan wrote: A lot of porn movies nowadays show women masturbating their pussies, while a guy is banging their ass. And I don't know how this looks to other porn fans, but for me this is a bit of a turn-off. Because it makes the guy look weak, inadequate, and little bit irrelevant when comes to satisfying the lady. Click to expand To me it is a turn-on because it is visible proof that the lady is highly sexual and very horny and very turned on. If pornguys are allowed the pleasure of self-stimulation (the ubiquitous jack-to-cum) during a porn scene, why should pornladys be denied the same pleasure? In most instances, the guys who rub the pussy while fucking the ass are doing a lousy job anyway. I've seen plenty of times where the woman moves the guy's hand away and takes over the job herself, or even leaves her pussy alone. Guys don't always know if the woman wants her pussy manhandled, and in what manner she prefers it to be manhandled at that moment. [Link]
WideAngle Senior Member GAMBO192 1367 Posts 9/11	Posted - Mar 3 2013 : 6:35PM I do like watching girls touching themselves while doing anal [Link]
LubeNLuv Senior Member 1854 Posts 3/06	Posted - Mar 3 2013 : 6:40PM We are talking about porn scenes, not couples having sex in an intimate relationship and in private. There are a half dozen camera people in the room, lots of start-stop involved, and of course the fact that the director is really focused on getting the best view of penetration. Depending on the position, the guys arm and hand would cover the action if he masturbated her clit during anal. Let the woman masturbate herself if she wishes....it's highly unlikely she's going to orgasm during a porn scene as-is, and if this helps her better enjoy the sex act, fine by me. Porn does NOT reflect real-world sex. Gore Gore Girl wrote: NM I think I'm wasting my time. Click to expand Most likely, m'lady, on this thread you are. But I do enjoy your insights. Edited by - lubenluv on 3/3/2013 6:44:04 PM [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Mar 3 2013 : 8:52PM ^ Thanks! That's nice. :) [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 8:43AM ^ Most porn is made to please guys. And I know for sure that some guys don't like to see that they aren't pleasing their woman enough. Which is what self-masturbation by the woman during sex implies for the guy. Every guy wants to think that he is a real stud with his lady, such a stud that she is in 7th heaven from everything he does with her. And this is the way it looks on screen, when it's the guy who masturbates the woman during anal sex, instead of her masturbating herself. What looks good or bad depends on whether you are looking at it from a male or female point of view. That's why porn films are made either for men or for women. And porn films made for men don't necessarily look good for women. I'm not talking about what's good or not good in absolute sense. I'm talking about what looks best on screen from a male point of view. Because it's for this point of view that most porn films are made. And what I say might not be necessarily true for porn films that are made for women. [Link]
Goldstein All-Star Member "You have sacrificed nothing and no one." 3689 Posts 8/10	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 9:05AM Dan wrote: It seems to me that when a woman masturbates her pussy during anal sex with a guy, then this makes the guy look inadequate and a little bit irrelevant. Because, obviously, all of his efforts and his cock aren't enough to satisfy his woman. The guy is so inadequate that she has to take over and satisfy herself. It's a turn off, rather than a turn on. (snip) Click to expand It seems to me that when the stud strokes to ejaculation during the cumshot sequence with a girl, then this makes the girl look inadequate and a little bit irrelevant. Because, obviously, all of her efforts and her looks and skills aren't enough to satisfy his guy. The girl is so inadequate that he has to take over and satisfy himself. It's a turn off, rather than a turn on. [Link]
Unreliable Narrator Senior Member 1706 Posts 3/12	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 9:48AM I think the girl rubbing or fingering herself while getting fucked in the ass is super hot - All anal scenes should have it! Who the fuck cares if it makes the male stars feel inadequate lol I doubt they themselves gives it a second thought. Edited by - unreliable narrator on 3/4/2013 9:50:44 AM [Link]

Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 10:37AM a former member wrote: ^ All other male posters in this thread seem to be disagreeing with you. Check it out. Particularly what Mike23 wrote. Click to expand It's only normal for different people to have different interests in porn. Not everyone likes anal sex for example. But there are plenty of porn fans who like it. It's just that when you mix different sex acts, such as intercourse with self-masturbation, then this kind of dilutes the intercourse and makes it less than it can be. The actresses turns her attention away from the guy and does something on her own, instead of interacting with him. It kind of shows her lack of interest in him, as if he isn't that good in bed with her. Which isn't hot for a guy to watch. [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14595 Posts 3/02	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 11:01AM Dan, it becomes annoying when you insist on using the third person because, obviously, you don't have any idea what anybody else likes or dislikes unless they tell you. In this very thread, most people have told you that they are not turned off by what turns you off, so you would be doing everybody a favor by ceasing to write in a manner that suggests you know their tastes better than they do. [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 11:12AM ^ I'm just talking about it from a logical point of view and commonly accepted knowledge. Guys don't normally like being ignored by the lady while they are having sex with her. And based on this, it's only logical to say that when the lady turns her attention away from the guy, then this isn't hot. I'm not expressing my opinion here. I'm just making a logical conclusion based on commonly accepted knowledge. Perhaps the problem in this discussion is that people are trying to win an argument instead of looking at it with an open mind. Nobody would normally say that the lady turning her attention away from the guy during intercourse is a good thing, but this is what people are saying here just to win an argument and not because it's true. [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 11:20AM Dan wrote: Perhaps the problem in this discussion is that people are trying to win an argument instead of looking at it with an open mind. Click to expand [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14595 Posts 3/02	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 12:09PM Dan wrote: I'm not expressing my opinion here. I'm just making a logical conclusion based on commonly accepted knowledge. Click to expand Your idea of commonly accepted knowledge seems to be struggling to gain traction against the fact that everybody else who has posted in this thread doesn't find it either common or acceptable. I do not speak for all males but I can safely assert that I am not alone when I say that a woman rubbing her clitoris during sex is not going to deflate either my ego or my penis. While it may mean nothing to you, the very fact that she is in my bed speaks volumes to me. Ergo, I could not care less if she masturbates during sexual intercourse, because I understand that orgasms are complicated affairs. Speaking metaphorically, all I can do is lead my woman to the edge. Ultimately, she has to jump over it. Since I know that to be true I don't worry about this silly stuff you're going on about. [Link]
Redish Poetic Moderator Long and Cursive road to the Ivory Pagoda in the province of Loraine 4076 Posts 12/03	Posted - Mar 4 2013 : 1:10PM [Link]