Why stop there? I don't like seeing anyone doing anything they don't appear to be enjoying. But I don't blame the performers, I blame the directors.

8 Poor lighting

Good lighting gear is more expensive than any of the "prosumer" gear used to shoot 99% of porn.

7 Women that get too loud and vocal during their performance

I can't imagine that these catterwailing performances are spontaneous expressions of sexual pleasure. Again, I think the fault lies with the director.

6 Too much editing

I think you mean too much bad editing . If you can't manage a simple match cut, just let the scene run. I'll use my FF button as needed.

5 When the men fuck like they're 80 years old

I have no point of comparrison. Never seen an 80 year-old fuck. Don't want to either. (Except me. When I'm 80 I'm going to make a video of myself nailing a hot 55 year old chick)

4 Even slightly flabby women

Yeah, especially that tit flab and that ass flab (not). No more ultra-arobisized chicks with flat assses and big fake boobs for me please!

3 Boring sexual positions

Boring sexual positions are the ones where the performers look bored.

1 Camera man zoomed in too close for too long

See above under Bad Editing.

Can't they just swallow it and be more romantic about it and act like it's no big deal??

You want romance in your porn? Better call Skeeter.

-T.C.

Edited by - TonyC on 3/1/2004 12:32:55 PM

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tit/ass flab: Im with Tony C and dont get turned on either by gym toned hard-body's or willowy thin girls with no tits or ass. I love to see a little bit of belly and ass flab. Girls should be soft to the touch! Alicia Rhodes...need i say more?

over-long close ups: I know it seems to be the pet hate of many ADT'ers but I love close up crotch shots. I finding it hard to find new DVD's with sufficient sweaty close up action for my tastes.

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My own list (I apologize if it duplicates anything on pervious lists):

- poor lighting: too dark, too bright, performer positioned in front of the light source so all we see is a brown shadow.
- too much zooming: in, out, I don't care, but pick one and stick with it for a while
- rocky, swinging camera movements: I don't care about art, to be honest, so I don't want to see wild camera angles like 45 degree tilts to the side so I feel like I'm watching the Batman t.v. show; I also hate it when the camera man can't move around and keep everything in focus at the same time.
- I hate it when the girl is cumming and we are shown a cloes-up of her face or pussy. My favorite part of any movie that's not a BJ video is when the girl cums. i love to see her stomach flutter or downright spasm uncontrollably, as well as her face as it's happening. I want to see everything.
- solo vids that are entirely comprised of fake orgasms. I don't care if it's small, but I want it to be real. The movie is about girls getting themselves off. What better way to invalidate the central theme of the movie than to fake the orgasm!
- stupid comments, laughter, talking, unintentionally loud direction from off camera. In a popular BJ series that contains scenes ending in a facial, there is some guy in the background that is always laughing after the cumshot and saying goofy things. I wish he'd keep quite.
- smoking
- piss poor weak cumshots: there she is, kneeling, waiting for her basting, begging for it, sticking her tongue out, asking for cum all over her face and the guy can barely squeeze out three drops. I understand the nature of porn, that there are few male performers out there and that you have to take what you can get and not everybody is Peter North, but this is a pet peeves list.
- preview credits: I don't mean previews of other movies on a video. I mean when the credits are rolling in the beginning of the movie and introducing all the girls, the guys, the director, editor, etc., we are usually shown what is to come in the following feature. I hate that because what is usually included are the best parts of the movie, the parts I want to be surprised with, the parts that are the most exciting. We've already bought/rented the film, you don't have to sell us anymore. Just start the damn thing.
- female ejaculation movies that are faked. when a girl squirts, the liquid comes from her pee hole, to be entirely lay about it, not the vagina. I refuse to believe that people watching these movies are convinced of their authenticity. Check out Cytheria, flower, lilly thai. watch where the fluid comes from and don't be fooled by the pretenders.
- scripted "filthy talk": let the moment take you into that place where dirty talking is natural. when it's, forced it sounds lame.
- lack of orgasms: during a g/g or solo scene, sometimes it looks like one an actress is going to cum ... and then there's a cut. I HATE THAT!! I want to see girls cum as much as humanly possible. Nothing is more exciting to me (other than direct physical stimulation to myself administered by one other than myself) than the pleasure of a woman.
- lack of chapters: when watching a dvd, sometimes there are certain things I would like to skip over and when i press skip, the scene changes. I don't want to have to fast forward through a 20-25 minute scene on my dvd player. that's why I bought a dvd player, so I wouldn't have to ff on a vcr.
- bad overdubs: no explanation needed
- I think the last thing I'm going to write here is about music. I hate it during a scene. To me, it has no place. Let me give a couple of examples as this is my number one pet peeve. First, there's the movie that completely removes all sound from the action and then puts music in. Pointless! I'd rather hear poor sound than no sound. I can take a magazine and ruffle the pages or use my imagination to picture movement. It's the sound that differentiates print from video, in my book. Without sound, I might as well save the $25-$35 for a dvd and buy a $6 skin-mag and pretend things are happening, or read a story online for free. There's a solo series out that does this and I refuse to buy any more of that line b/c of it. then there's the second type of movie that overdubs the music so damn loud, I can't hear anything anyway unless I wish to alert the entire building/neighborhood to what's going on in my place. the third type is when the music has lyrics. there's nothing that will wilt my dick quicker than some jerkoff screaming in my ear. If there absolutely has to be music, I wish it was something tasteful and, more importantly, fitting with the mood, but I'd rather none.

Ok, if you've come this far, I apologize, but these are things I've been wanting to say to someone for a while. I am also sorry for the poor grammar. when I get heated, i tend to type without much thought.

later

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2Big

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1. I wish more porn directors used more "wide angle/whole body shots" during and before the sex.

2. I wish more flicks incorporated different kinds of pop shots into one flick (e.g., facial, internal, pop on breasts pussy or ass, swallowing) instead of every pop on the disc being the same.

3. I wish female porn stars didn't make so much "BS enjoyment noise" when performing. I know as soon as the director calls cut, their loud moans are just going to stop on a dime.

4. I'm not a big fan of cum on the face. I don't mind some but I think it's overdone. (sorry moonchimes :)

5. I like cum swallowing (but I don't like the women having to "proove" that she did it by opening her mouth so the director can make sure.

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I also hate when the woman has her eyes closed when the camera is focusing on her face.

I also hate when the woman is wearing sun glasses during the scene.

I think it is very important to be able to see the girls eyes during the scene, because it is the best way to find out if she is enjoying the sex or not.

Lange

Edited by - Lange on 3/3/2004 12:08:46 PM

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Mindless hairholding: more women should stand up for their right to look good during at least part of the blowjob. Do the hairholding for part of the time but also let us see what she looks like giving head without your frickin hand messing up her hair.

The Iron Maiden: Iron Maiden was/is a band that played all their guitar riffs twice in a row. Don't know why. It's just their thing. The point is, gapes are always given to us in sets of 2 or more. Always. What the hell?

When a rare standing pose finally appears, the camera man always rushes underneath and stays there the whole time, taking a siesta, when the real obvious place to be is filming both people from the side in full view, or moving around so you're facing her bouncing face and boobs from a 45 degree angle. Or whatever. The point is well illustrated by the decade old movie Striptease (pt.1). Nicollina Fox's scene had some totally kickass standing footage from the side. Why such an old movie as a reference? BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE CAPTURE A STANDING POSE THAT WELL SINCE! And it would be so easy to do. The better angle is right there just waiting for you to discover it.

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