ekarth
Deactivated User
211 Posts
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|  Posted - Jul 8 2010 : 10:08AMJapan
- its an unwritten rule in Japanese porn industry that woman must not be shown enjoying sex. Hence even during orgasm with hitachi wand the girl pretends to be given electric shock- therapy in mental institution. and while being fucked with 5 inch dick she pretends to be dieing from stabbing of Rambo's big jungle-knife.
- so if you're girl and can't fake pain, you're unlikely to get any job in Japanese porn industry.
- another rule, either you do a buckkake or you give a creampie. Single or two man doing a moneyshot is strictly forbidden.
- all the group sex / orgy movies seem to be mass-rape ceremonies because of rule number 1 (woman must not be shown enjoying sex).
- Shemales and milfs are only allowed to star in censored movies.
- for uncensored movies, all girls must pretend to be virgin schoolgirls or virgin-housewives, and dress accordingly, especially wear a navy-scout costume with a short skirt. noone will buy japan's porn otherwise.
- to become hero in japanese porn you must bring a Hitachi wand from home. I assume either every movie has hitachi-wand scene because its symbol of Japan or Hitachi company has taken sponsorship of it.?
- The cameraman of censored movies seem to be trained from the best masters. but cameraman of uncensored movies seems to have taken training in California and proving it from their (lousy) camera angles.
German
- Monster cocks and six-pack abs type males are strictly forbidden in German porn industry.
- you must be looking like an average Joe with average length dick and a little pot-belly to enter as hero in German porn.
- same formula applies to females, extremely gorgeous, barbie-doll type ladies are not allowed. and if you're one, you'll end up doing the 'Reporter with mike' character in the movie.
- if want to be a male-porn star but don't want your family/friends to find it, then German porn is best career, because they make dozens of BDSM movies with masked submissive males in it every year!
- if you're a couple, then you can easily star in those 'Reporter with mike' kinda movies provided that you've a sofa set in your house.
- if the woman in the movie is is 40+ and fat then you can be 110% sure, there will be an anal scene of her.
Russia
- Post-Taboo/Kay Parker era, it seems Russian took it as challenge to outdo Americans in incest movie production. hence almost every movie where hero is 'barely legal' and woman is 40+ thick fat lady, its labeled as 'incest.' and you're most likely to encounter such movie and photos as 'unwanted-popup' during your visit to free-TGP/Tube sites from internet-explorer no matter whether you were searching for it or not.
- almost every movie is shot with low-lights and static camera-angle to prove that its amateur and real or may be there is electricity shortage on the sets.
- Everybody in Russia except those 40+ milf ladies, seems to be on a strict diet regime. that's why every male/female in porn otherwise looks like a clone of Ornaldo Bloom.
Brazil/Latin
- to become a hero in Brazillian porn, your balls must look like they're shrunk and hiding inside your belly. otherwise if you've balls hanging like a normal man, they'll block the camera-view during doggy-style hence produce will not like it. (their camera-angle consciousness upto this 'level' shows they're not trained in California)
- no matter how many hot-ass tanned native beauties you've in the movie, but on the DVD-front cover the girl must look like a white-blond from north-America, otherwise noone will buy your 'brazillian porn'
- during the beach and football seasons, its seems all the hot and thick 'real' Brazilian booties go on vacation and there is acute shortage of talent. but don't worry, you can invite the black and white girls from America to shoot and claim them to be 'Brazilian' after-all nobody has any dialogues to speak in the movie so audience will never find out.
California/America
- unlike Germany where submissive males are in huge demand for BDSM movies, small-dick pot-bellied heroes in huge demand for 'reporter with mike' movies, the trend is totally reverse in America because producers think that such people are not 'Heroes' but 'target-audience' the reason for this phenomenon is because ...
- Tatto and Gym industries have very powerful lobbies inside American porn biz, hence if you're male, you're unlikely to get any movie-offer unless you get your whole arm and ass tattoed and rip your body in gym until you look like nephew of Sylvester Stallone.
- Cameramen in America have a big powerful labor union, and they've thretend to go on strike unless they're allowed to shoot porn from lousy camera-angle; take a nap while doing so and do a gay-ass interview for 30 minutes before and during the sex.
- for skinny white girls under age of 30, American porn biz is 'land of opportunity' because they can star both as 'Barely legal highschool girl/babysitter ' as well as 'Bossy MILFs/stepmoms' and as a 'thick white booty'!
- costumes in America are very expensive, and the costume-provider calculates the fees per second of Usage (just like mobile phone plans) hence, producers with nurse/cop/schoolgirl themes are compelled to remove the total costume within first minute of the scene, otherwise the costume bill will run higher than the entire production value itself.
- There is a powerful anti-babysitter lobby in porn biz, who think that parents must not leave their kids in care of babysitter but take the kids with them, wherever they go. Hence to dissuade American mothers from hiring Babysitters, they're producing tonnes of movies with titles like "don't tell my wife, i assfucked the babysitetter #34552", for the simple reason, even if a woman doesn't watch porn-movie, she'll get a psychological impact from reading/hearing such title.
- Family planning lobby is also very powerful in American porn biz, and they think China with its 'one-child policy' will become superpower someday. Hence to dissuade American audience from making more babies, they intentionally produce porn without creampies and with moneyshots to make them as 'role-model sex' for audience to follow.
Italy
- Its 'must' to show the entire family having dinner together (especially the 80s movies)
- After the dinner everyone starts fucking someone and Since I don't know the language,i assume its either incest or pseudo-incest.
- one scene where hero is jacking off /fucking some woman while one woman watches it behind the door, aka peeping tom theme is MUST in every movie.
- Generally they seem to have good camera angles which means their cameraman have not taken training in California.
Tai-land/Thailand
- they occasionaly produce some 'porn' movie. Main feature of a Thai-porn movie is the creampie. the sole intention of such movie appears to be promote sex-tourism, as most males in America are lucky enough to give 'creampies' to their wives/gfs as and when they wish or the Thai producers assume so.
Eastern Europe
- The sole intention of making porn movie here, is to make an average american porn viewer feel guilty for being in America and not born in Eastern Europe. and to show the world that babes found in Eastern Europe are more beautiful than the 30 yo barely legal babysitter in California's porn movie or the most beautiful actress in Mainstream Hollywood.
ok this is just another lousy 'trying to be funny' thread, if you feel like contributing to this, please do. and please don't make post here like xyz movie/director is/was great because that'll defeat the whole mood of this thread lol.
Edited by - ekarth on Jul 8 2010 [Link]
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Posted - Jul 8 2010 : 10:08AM