Well, I did finally tell my wife. I had noted in other threads here that I hid my porn from ny wife, based on past comments and behavior from her.
Well, I was headed out on vacation to visit my family by myself and I told her the night before I left. She found it quite funny and amusing that I have been able to hide the porn all this time and also wondered when I have time to actually watch it! She did not recall that time from when we first moved in together that she had me throw out my porn mags, but I told her it did happen, I would not have thrown them out otherwise. She also noted how she is okay with porn, just not that porn that is hurtful to women or shows them being used as objects. I replied that it is a pretty subjective response. I don't really like seeing women slapped or beaten on screen, but something in my porn might somehow push my wife's buttons and she'd find it offensive. I told she can take a look if she likes, she may not like it and I really do not expect her to enjoy it, plus she thinks women in porn are skanks and uneducated, but I had to set her straight on that misconception as well.
At least it is out there, I even told her about how I post her and also at other "adult" sites and how it has been very helpful and informative and fun! She mostly seemed okay with this, she was just surprised at how good I was at keeping it all from her.
Just thought I'd update everyone here!
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Spew Deactivated User
Bend over for the rod and staff of Jesus! 334 Posts 7/04
you know, I run into people who work in major tech and business industries who are extremely uneducated, so these people are all over. I just think my wife needs to know that there are smart, intelligent and strong women in the porn biz who, in my opinion, deserve some respect.
This is good news for you Matt, but I noticed something in your thread that may come back to haunt you. You mention that she was really surprised that you managed to hide it so well for so long. She only found out after you told her. This will get her to thinking, what else is he hiding from me that I don't know about? You may find her keeping an eye on you a bit more in the near future, she may be paranoid now. But all in all that fact that she didn't freak out is a good sign.
Maybe she will draw the conclusion that he is not comfortable hiding things, and that he prefers to be honest.
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Spew Deactivated User
Bend over for the rod and staff of Jesus! 334 Posts 7/04
Posted - Jul 27 2004 : 3:35AM
i never hide my porn, in fact, its the first thing you see in my room: a shelf with about 75 DVDs and a stack of mags 2 feet high, and about 3 bottles of "WET" lube, oh yeah
Well, I do think that is her conclusion, though some friends did joke with me that perhaps she would turn the apartment upside down looking for my porn! :) But she did not, in fact, despite my offer to show her what I had if she was curious, she has not made any mention of it since. Good or bad? Things are fine between us currently, and it could just be that she has no curiosity about it in the slightest. I have to say I was kinda hoping she would, just so she could understand more of what turns me on visually and such, but I am not about to go shoving this in her face if she is not interested...
I think I am lucky in the fact I didn't get any choice in hiding my stash of porn! My wife (then girlfriend) found it the first time she stayed with me - it wasn't hid very well. I was kind of embarrassed at first until she suggested we watched it together! Man did that get me going! Since then we watch it now & again together and it still rocks!
On the same subject, my wife & I went for a boozy night out with some of our close friends - the subject of porn cropped up (as always) - at which point everyone starts playfully teasing me & my wife because they know of our porn stash. I was surprised to hear though that more & more women are seriously getting into watching it. I can see why. The quality of porn over the last few years has come on leaps & bounds:- the women are sensational & the men are looking after themselves. It is also now common knowledge that women essentially run the industry, they earn the most money & call the shots - I'm all for this form of girl power. Go girls!!!!! We love ya!!
Oh and back to the point in question for MAT47 - I wouldn't be surprised if your wife one day suggests that you watch it together - so get ready for the horniest fuck of your lives!! Peace out!
Well well well I didn't know married guys are still watching porn nowadays. Anyhow, the last girl I dated, she hated all the XXX stuff so she asked me to get rid of them all and I did. Now that we're not together any longer I think I might start buying some new videos :)
Too right kicker_sub! I know I have mentioned girl power already but guess what - boy power is making a come back too! I like porn and I ain't afraid to say so.
When committing the rest of my life to my wife I had to make sure that we were compatible in ALL aspects of our relationship and that definitely includes sexual issues. My wife is my best friend, my lover, my soul mate & when she asks me she is also my slut!
So my point to you is this - be honest & comfortable with yourself, be proud of who you are. Get your porn back & enjoy it.
When you meet a new woman bring the topic up in conversation when the time is right. You are then being honest and open with her which she should respect. If it's an issue you can both make a decision whether or not to take the relationship forward.
So men be open & truthful to yourself - it's 2004. Go boy power!!!!!!!
Good question! They are actually in a box in my closet, the box is rather non-descript, contains old cassette tapes and the items are in black bags which are from the store I bought them at. My wife has no reason to search my closet or open this box for anything, she is not much of a snoop so the items have been safe. One of these days I plan on revealing them to her, just have not found the right time...
Matt - If you have been together sometime - I assume that you have seeing that you are married - I reckon she might already know about the 'stash'.
Have you ever lost something & then thought "I wonder what's in that box". I bet she has, cause I know I have. Just a thought. She may be wanting you to come clean.
I also assume that the 'stash' is from an older relationship. If so I probably wouldn't keep them. My wife definitely wouldn't want a dildo / butt plug inside her that has been in another woman.
Oh no, trust me, if she found this stash, she would have confronted me as soon as I walked back in the front door! :) This is what happened when we first moved in together and she accidentally discovered some porn mags I had in my dresser drawers. And with this box, I have had it since before we met, she's never even taken a 2nd glance at it so it's safe...
The 'stash' is full of items I purchased during the time I have lived with my wife, before we were married and after, so they have actually only be used on me, incidentally.
I don't leave porn out on the coffee table, or paste a signed photo of Gia Paloma sucking three cocks with the inscription: "Skronker, put it all over me!!!" xxx Gia!!! on the refrigerator, but I'm glad to loan a good DVD to any friends who express an interest. People are either into it, curious, don't care or hate it. Or else they are a Jenna fan with one Jenna tape. Or, given some of my pals, shoot pro-am gang bangs on their Saturday afternoons in suburban Jersey.
I mean, when I was in college, we didn;t have porn but we had mannequins chained to the ceiling! And there was this giant dildo that made the rounds (probably as a drinking prize) before it wound up adorning the statue of Christ in the yard of the lesbians by the cemetary.
MEOW, MEOW, MEOW! Get your balls out of your wife's purse. That's great that you are educating her about porn and she is slowly losing any misconceptions about it, but you never should've felt the need to hide your porn in the first place. As a man, you have to put your foot down from the very beginning while letting her know that porn is not a substitute for her attention, but it is something that you enjoy and will enjoy with or without her permission.
Or out of my husband's wallet? No, that isn't where I store my balls. Unfortunately, (many women will understand this, and your comment just puts emphasis on my point) porn is still considered mainly to be something for the enjoyment of men, and not all men think it is okay for a woman to enjoy it. HISS, HISS, HISS!
My porn is on shelves next to the computer, which is going to come in handy again next week. My sister and her son will be visiting again, and last time she was here she kept him away from my computer.
Wow, I can't believe a thread of mine has been resurrected!
You do speak the truth, Gia, my issue has been that I don't usually like to confront people with something they might find uncomfortable. I was protecting my wife, I thought, but then just making things worse in the process. It's all good now, however, she still does not have much interest in actually watching with me, but that's not a big deal. Our shared sex life has exploded recently with her becoming much more adventurous sexually, so with this wonderful change, maybe an interest in porn is just over the horizon? :)
OK, I just have to add another reply here as my wife did actually discover my sex toys in their hiding place!
This was about 2 weeks ago and she mentioned while we actually having sex. Goodness gracious, I had no idea what to say. We were actually in the throes of anal sex at the time when she suddenly mentioned that I could add in one of those dildos that she found. It was all very funny, she said she had found them a few days earlier. So I grabbed the box, we went through them and I ended up using the 7" dildo on her vaginally while I stayed in her ass - which was a dream come true! I also noted that the toys can be used on me, how great the feel and such, so hopefully in our next playtime together we can explore this option... :)
what do you do when you have been dating for four years, living together for one and your girlfriend finds your large stash of dvd's? she had no idea i watched porn and the size and content of the dvd collection kind of disturbed her (a couple hundred anally themed dvd's). Our sex life is great but due to work and school we have spent a lot time apart and porn definitely fills the void. She has no interest in watching it, isnt interested in doing anal, and the dvd's have brought up the whole inadequacy issue. You know - " i'm not good enough? Why do you need to see other naked women? What are you thinking about when we are doing it? - etc. etc. Our relationship is great but since the discovery things are a little weird. Anybody else experience something similar?
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Ejac Deactivated User
851 Posts 9/04
Posted - Jul 17 2005 : 2:34PM
She probably feels slighted that you've never brought it up to her before. Give it time. Tell her that you think about her while you're 'baiting off to it.
Find out what gets her off and pick up a porn similar in nature. Put some wrapping paper around it and offer it as a gift. If that doesn't work, let the dust settle and find a new hiding place.
Paying trib-ute to SinncentVanSage 1412 Posts 12/04
Posted - Jul 19 2005 : 12:44PM
I think it's best to be honest about it, then you don't have to feel bad about it all the time. I told my family the very first day I bought a porn video to not snoop around in my room if they don't want to be confronted by porn. My sister didn't believe me, so I showed her. I don't tell them my fetishes but that's not really important for them to know, I think.
Our happiness hangs by a thread and Nonsense is its name.
Anal Slut Lilly Wants To Gape - review by bono-one
Posted - Jul 26 2004 : 4:47PM