| Author | Post |
|---|---|
| taylor_swift_tasty_feet Member  367 Posts 1/10 |  Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 11:11AMDo you think it's true? I avoid girls that have cheated in the past as I feel they will cheat on me.PLUS I don't respect cheaters.  [Link] |
| Kimi Lixx Senior Member 2012 Posts 6/01 | Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 11:45AM A cheater that does not want to stop cheating, such as one who only quits because they have been caught, will probably cheat again. If someone blames their cheating on others, and never takes responsibility for what they have done, they will probably cheat again.  [Link] |
| taylor_swift_tasty_feet Member 367 Posts 1/10 | Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 11:54AM I hope you never cheat again.It hurts like hell.Sometimes I REALLY hate humans. ): [Link] |
| Kimi Lixx Senior Member 2012 Posts 6/01 | Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 12:45PM I imagine it is similar to the way someone who indulges in anything they know is not good for them feels. A cigarette smoker says it calms their nerves, gives them a rush, controls their appetite and makes them feel like they have more energy. They know cigarettes are unhealthy, cause that nasty cough, smell bad, make their teeth yellow and cause wrinkles. Its hard to quit because its easy to do and makes you feel good, and quitting makes you feel bad and is hard to do. Even people who have quit for 20 years sometimes start again, and that has nothing to do with the physical addiction of the nicotine - which is broken after about 3 weeks of abstinence. Its all the stuff in your head that makes you want to do it. Or not do it. [Link] |
| ADT44 Member 876 Posts 7/09 | Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 12:47PM And a guy staying with a woman who has cheated him is a first class loser who doesn't have any self respect. An anti-macho. Excuses of a woman as to why it happened; I don't wanna hear them. I dont give a rat's ass. Married, not married, I don't care. And no, I am not staying together for the children's sake. That is in nobody's interest. Even if I'd know that I will probably never get a better looking gf, I would still break off the relation. For example, a story that is in all showbizz papers/television shows as of now: It's about this 21 y/o Ukrainian model has been married with a famous ex sportsman in Deutschland:  They were married for more than 2 years. 4 weeks ago paparazzi made photos of her on the yaught of a young donald trump wannabe in monaco. Kissing and cuddling. The paparrazi press is quite big in this country, so the ex- sportsman got asked about what he was going to do now that he saw what his wife was doing. A macho that he is (considered by the masses), he sure wasn't going to forgive his wife for what she did, even though she cried on television and apologized herself to him en public in tears. No, he said a real man has to look himself in the mirror with proud, and a deceitful wife next to him in the spotlights would only make him lose face. I couldn't agree with him more. Edited by - adt44 on 8/13/2010 12:50:32 PM [Link] |
jayo  All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 3:28PM I have no idea how they trusted each other. I wouldn't have. They were married until they died and, as far as I could tell, were very happy together. Go figure. [Link] |
| JohnW Senior Member 1351 Posts 6/08 | Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 4:51PM If a relationship is not working out, a couple should either work on it or break it off/put it on hold. If someone goes out and sleeps with someone else when you have agreed to put it on hold, it is not a breach of trust in case you get back together later. I know its easy to say but one of my rules are that cheating = end of relationship. It might hurt like hell to end it but I know it would be hell to live with the deceit, the doubt, and the jealousy, which will consume you as well. I know I haven't been through this myself yet so I guess my opinion is only that until it actually happens. But I have seen some of this unfolding and what I've seen suggests that my approach is the most sensible. [Link] |
| THICK_LOVA54 Senior Member Wielding a sword without fear of it is to be unworthy of the blade. 1441 Posts 5/10 | Posted - Aug 14 2010 : 1:36AM With that said, "...To forgive divine"."To forget is foolish" - TL54 Forgive never forget, if there is no trust there is no relationship and if someone cheats on me I can't trust them. Crimson Rain...What A Sight [Link] |
| Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08 | Posted - Aug 17 2010 : 4:51AM I can forgive. She had the balls to tell me what she had done knowing that it would affect our relationship and it only made our relationship stronger. Dishonesty is something I have a problem with. I think that is worse than "Cheating." When I say "Dishonesty" I mean my significant other can come to me with ANYTHING and I will not think less of them. Trust is a hard thing to build and I need to know I can go to my Significant other with some off the wall idea and know that she/he will listen to me and not think less of me, or "dump me alongside the road of life." Relationships with me are a bit "weird" to most people, but the ones I do enter into them with know all the rules upfront. Easy enough in my opinion. #1. Be Yourself. #2. Don't EVER be afraid to tell me anything, no matter how "bad it is. #3. I am here for you and you need to be here for me, rationally. Sexually? If it turns us on let's do it, if it turns you on and I can't do it find somebody who will and vice versa. How about ownership, that is my major problem with relationships. Once a couple is in a "Relationship" they seem to claim "ownership" rights which are not theirs to choose!!!! We are individuals with individual needs and we should find a partner who can accept these needs. But when a partner stops fulfilling the needs should they be surprised that their partner goes elsewhere??? A bit of a ramble. [Link] |
| taylor_swift_tasty_feet Member 367 Posts 1/10 | Posted - Aug 17 2010 : 8:52AM [Link] |
| THICK_LOVA54 Senior Member Wielding a sword without fear of it is to be unworthy of the blade. 1441 Posts 5/10 | Posted - Aug 17 2010 : 9:27PM Crimson Rain...What A Sight [Link] |
| taylor_swift_tasty_feet Member 367 Posts 1/10 | Posted - Aug 18 2010 : 4:50PM [Link] |
| ADT44 Member 876 Posts 7/09 | Posted - Aug 18 2010 : 6:48PM I guess, that this is the million dollar question. You are not a loser, and quite frankly it is how you perceive yourself when you look in the mirror:  Do you see a loser in the mirror knowing that your old lady deceived you? Do you feel less of a man? In the case you told your chums: do you find it important what they think and how they perceive you knowing that you gave her another chance? Do you trust her when she has a girls night out in say Vegas? Are you someone important/famous/well-known, someone who is a lot in the (business, entertainment or sports) spotlights? Are you a latino, an arab or someone belonging to another etnic group where males are expected to me proud alpha dogs? All stuff that may play a role as to how you will or will not perceive yourself when you look in the mirror. That all said, I see a loser when I look in the mirror if I stay with a gf/wife that cheated on me. I don't mind beeing with a flirtatious woman who playfully dances with other dogz when I am having a beer or talking to my friends or (business) acquaintances in the club we both went to together. Even if she does this semi-playfully to make me jealous after a fight we may have had back home. This is something I have come to be accustomed to having predominantly dated latina's in my life. As long as I know that I am her numero uno. Vice Versa. But what I also know (in my case) is that a relationship can be quicly over again, once either of the 2 parties involved (mildly) cross the flirtation line regarding other people. A tongue kiss is not something I can allow nor that I could deal with when we would be back in the car. I think I would do like nothing happened, then sneak to the restrooms, and leave her ass there even If I would know that she would have to walk an hour to get back to her pad. I would then break of the relationship as I do not see myself remaining my self-respect by staying with someone who french kissed some other guy. I think that is my threashold crossing rate. (french) kiss on the mouth in my presence or if I heard that she did that of one of my buds (whom I trust) when I wasn't around. Quote: Willard Christopher Smith Jr. hatched his scheme for global supremacy at 16, after his first girlfriend cheated on him. "In my mind, she cheated because I wasn't good enough. I remember making the decision that I will never not be good enough again," he says. Sure, he may have overcompensated.... And how!!!! Read more: The Legend of Will Smith, By Rebecca Winters Keegan Thursday, Nov. 29, 2007.  Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1689234,00.html Again, just like with that famous soccer player (considering the circumstances of that specific case), I couldn't agree more with what Will Smith said!!!! Cheers. Edited by - adt44 on 8/18/2010 6:58:22 PM [Link] |
| THICK_LOVA54 Senior Member Wielding a sword without fear of it is to be unworthy of the blade. 1441 Posts 5/10 | Posted - Aug 18 2010 : 7:19PM Just bustin' your chops buddy  .Crimson Rain...What A Sight [Link] |
| lunacyagain Member Somewhere between Heaven & Hell 33 Posts 3/06 | Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 9:51PM [Link] |
| Flash Golden Age Classic 11017 Posts 5/01 | Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 12:02AM [Link] |
| Jonny Jay Outlier Moderator 5990 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 1:06PM [Link] |
| Mitch Cumstein Member Putting at night 28 Posts 6/07 | Posted - Sep 1 2010 : 11:06PM [Link] |
| ocdude Deactivated User 196 Posts 8/10 | Posted - Sep 5 2010 : 7:29PM If she did cheat maybe there were reasons for it. Not saying they are good ones - but maybe there are. Maybe it happened 10+ years ago and since then she has never cheated in any of her other relationships. As long as she doesn't cheat on me what she did in the past is of no concern to me [Link] |
| francios Senior Member 1802 Posts 2/05 | Posted - Oct 5 2010 : 11:55AM If you are just playing the field I say yes always a cheater. If you cheated because you weren't in a relationship that gave you the minimum of what you needed from it and were forced to look elsewhere and then you find that special person I say you probably won't cheat again. [Link] |
| Dubious_Leftovers Senior Member And on that fateful day, the hatred consumed me... 1423 Posts 3/09 | Posted - Oct 5 2010 : 7:42PM Emotions such as jealousy are a head-fuck, but it IS possible to enjoy sex/love with more than one person at a time. If people admit to that from the outset, the need to "cheat" would be lessened as these actions would be consensual. It's not the act, it's the deceit/betrayal that hurts. Admit that urges and desires exist, indulge openly without going behind the other's back. Pity not many people have the faculties to make this work... [Link] |
| Savoy All-Star Member Sucker for Sinners 1844 Posts 12/06 | Posted - Oct 5 2010 : 9:07PM People make up all kinds of excuses for why they cheat, but if you have agreed upon monogamy with someone you need to stick with that. If you don't like monogamy, you need to find someone else who doesn't either. I don't do disrespect or drama. Cheating involves both so I have a severe distaste for it. [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Oct 6 2010 : 10:21PM And what exactly constitutes cheating? Fucking? Sucking? Jerking? Kissing? Flirting? Wishing? Maybe, "Once a frequent cheater, most likely to be a cheater again." Or "Once a one-time cheater, slightly more likely to cheat than the never-yet-cheated." ------------------------- As for me, I think cheating is a really, really bad idea. But I'm a lousy liar and tend toward having a guilty conscience, which may figure into the equation. [Link] |
| ma meeshka Iconoclastic Member 3939 Posts 4/06 | Posted - Oct 7 2010 : 4:22AM [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Oct 7 2010 : 7:29PM Everyone lies. That doesn't mean that everyone is a liar. It's more complicated that the whole "white lie", "black lie" distinction. For instance, it is often imperative to lie to those you love. If your wife asks you how she looks, you tell her she looks beautiful -- even on the days she doesn't. And if she says, "No, really?", you say, "Absolutely, honey." I could come up with plenty more examples in the context of friends and family, but you get the idea. [Link] |
| cross Senior Member I Love Beef Curtains! 1072 Posts 6/05 | Posted - Oct 9 2010 : 12:43AM Personally, if I was with a girl and found out she had a history of being unfaithful ie being in long term relationships and sleeping around, I'd end it straight away. If I ask a girl out, and get her number and she tells me that she's got a "boyfriend though" I don't pursue it. I have enough trust problems to let this swinging door open. Once a cheater always a cheater, it's part of their lifestyle. [Link] |
| RandomPrecision Senior Member Enjoy! 8175 Posts 3/06 | Posted - Oct 10 2010 : 6:56AM Cheating on someone (especially if the other person believes it's a monogamous relationship) is a stupid and incredibly irresponsible thing to do in the age of so many STDs. Someone who will stoop to that once is not someone I'd trust with my life. Edited by - randomprecision on 10/10/2010 7:00:33 AM [Link] |
| Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Oct 10 2010 : 2:12PM A person can change a bad habit if (i) they really want to change; (ii) they understand why they do it; (iii) they recognize the triggers; (iv) they avoid dangerous situations; and (v) they use the tools they've learned to deal with temptation. I know several people who used to cheat and no longer do so. I cheated a bit in my teens and very early twenties (before I was engaged or married). I was immature; I didn't really have a grasp of my feelings. I hurt some people and learned some painful lessons. I was cheated on, and that hurt, too. It developed my empathy. The tendency of people on this board to think in all-or-nothing terms is sometimes surprising. [Link] |
| Kimi Lixx Senior Member 2012 Posts 6/01 | Posted - Oct 10 2010 : 7:04PM Btw, I agree with everything in your post above. [Link] |
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