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Well, I can see good and bad for both situations. I was married once, engaged 2 other times. I'm single now at the age of 41. Not really looking anymore, but relatively open-minded if something were to come along. I agree with what some users say, you have to fix yourself first. I have some financial problems that I have to fix, etc. But, I'm really not sure I would want to get married even then. Girlfriend or lover? Yes. I just don't have a lot of confidence in the longevity of marriage. The problem is is this: People invariably change as time goes on. If people don't change pretty much the same way, continue wanting the same things, etc. - they rarely stay together. Restlessness and affairs become commonplace.
Here's a question for you happily married types...how ever do you deal with the mind-numbingly irritating habits of your spouses?
Have been living with my current SO for some years, and have given thought to more serious commitment, but her personal habits seem to drive me nuts fairly often....
So in a relationship, not closed to the idea of marriage, but not particularly into it either. I view marriage as a largely ceremonial and legal affair, especially given how fluid and easily breakable modern ones are. I'd be happy to just "date" for eternity as mutual consorts, as it were.
We give each other plenty of space, but not so much that we grow apart. It's all about balance, grasshopper.
*BWOOOOSH*
Watch DenverDon come in here and make some remark about derailing threads...
Edited by - cobalt60 on 3/18/2004 12:01:19 PM
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DenverDon Benevolent
Firmly Embedded in Depravity 5914 Posts 7/02
Posted - Mar 18 2004 : 11:49AM
SaitamaLoki,
A good question, but not on topic. May I suggest that you start a new thread with your question, and perhaps a reference to this one as to why you started it?
We've been going out for getting on 3 years now, and living together for nearly 2. Very healthy relationship, as she is basically my best friend. I think what keeps it going is that we can talk about anything, and even though we don't have all the same interests, we are both open to try things with each other.
The sex is still great, but I wonder how long it can possibly last. We try to keep it fresh, but eventually you're going to run out of things to do and become somewhat predictable.
btw. i don't had a relationship until i went 27 (im now at the beginning of my 30ies) i have one now, it's a long term relationship and i love it very much. i think a 24/7 thing wouldn't be as good as this one is. it's a little bit like licker described a few posts before.
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years; I was only 19 when we first started going out. We have no plans of getting married. Marriage freaks me out. If you're commited there really is no need for it aside from financial/security reasons. I think what they say about the 7 year itch is true. Things haven't been going so great lately. We are very different people.
My husband knows all about it. Being married doesn't take away my favorite pastimes... ;*)
------------------------------------------- The truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination.
I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall". ~Eleanor Roosevelt
.....Is there not an expression that "marriage is the leading cause of divorce"(just some light humor). I was single for many years, hooked up with a great woman, have been seeing each other for three years now, we live in separate residences, but try and spend as much time together as we can....we are both very independant, and enjoy our freedom(within reason of course)but the relationship seems to work(for us anyway)......we sort of have the "New Age Relationship".....she has been married....I have not......neither one of us feel any need to be married......of course no children are involved in this relationship, my personal opinion is that when you have children.....I feel marriage is a good thing.....I think it is good for kids to feel like they are in a stable enviroment, and marriage kind of provides that security, but on the other side of the coin....divorce can very disruptive in all respects........E
been single...then married for almost 9 years.....then single again.....am currently with a great man that i thought was sooooo cute all those years ago in high school...lol what never ceases to amaze me is that even after my ex-husband lied and cheated on me, I trust this man with my life......makes you wonder what would have been if we had hooked up sooner!?!? ah well.....we are making up for lost time now!!!! trust does interesting things to the sex life too.....never knew it could be this good...
Happily just about to be married 25 year old Scottish lad with a 40 year old beautiful American lady, both currently living in my apartment in Scotland.
