hello, i was just wondering if anybody out their can help me. there is a certain porn scene in a sperm load a day 2 with priva, steve holmes, oliver sanchez, mr. pete and erik everhard where priva gets gangbanged by the four of them. now, i've watched my fair share of gangbang scenes in 15 years and they did not bother me. but i watched the first 10-12 minutes of this one and i could not go on anymore, i got physically nauseous and went into the bathroom and threw up. i felt like they were taking advantage of her. now i know she's a paid professional like all adult film stars are and her husband is one of the guys going at it with her and she would'nt have done it without consenting to it first. but why do i feel this way when i watch this scene??? i get a knot in my stomach. i've tried to get ahold of priva with no success, so would somebody help me through this please??? because i can't get it out of my head and i want some piece of mind.
^ Why do you keep watching the scene? Having read your other posts and your profile description, I think you have conflicting feelings about women, sex, and your own sexual desires. You also seem to harbor resentment toward female porn stars rooted in a sense of entitlement. Or, you're a troll. Either way, the simplest answer to your question would be that you felt the scene was too rough or abusive and abuse makes you uncomfortable. That's not very unusual. Vomiting, followed by continued watching of the scene is probably unusual. The problem lies with you and whatever is driving you to continue indulging in things that cause you mental stress and physical illness.
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bluewomble85 Deactivated User
40 Posts 11/14
Posted - Jan 4 2015 : 10:26AM
i assure you i'm not a troll and i have not watched that scene in a week and a half. i need to update my profile as i have been going through some serious depression issues. but that scene just keeps playing in my mind and it won't go away. it's torturing me. i can't watch porn now because i feel dirty everytime i do. i want to know if it's something subconscious with me.
If you're seeing a psychologist or counsellor about your depression issues, you ought to discuss ^ with him or her. If you're not seeing someone already, you ought to. It's possible that they're related, and if not, the same person would still be in a position to help.
Honey, come quick, somebody on the internet is wrong! 9233 Posts 11/13
Posted - Jan 4 2015 : 3:25PM
I understand. Don't watch the scene again. Sometimes you see something you can't un-see (I have; we all have). Nasty things happen. Eventually it will fade a little. Stay away from that scene and distract yourself with some things that are not similar in any way (take up watercolor painting or swimming or something). Distraction and time, and don't dwell on that scene or watch it. Alternately you could use some meditation techniques where you don't run away from your thoughts; you observe your thoughts as an outsider, and just sort of let them happen. It's a specific technique, though. You'd have to learn it and be gain some proficiency at it. And don't watch the scene again. It's about observing your thoughts, not the scene. Probably the first option, for you, for now.
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bluewomble85 Deactivated User
40 Posts 11/14
Posted - Jan 5 2015 : 1:30AM
i was told by a psychologist that i need to face the scene. i only watched the first 10-12 minutes of a 36 minute scene. she told me maybe it's not as bad as i'm making it out to be if i watch the whole thing. not to sound like a freak or anything, but when i was surfing a porn website, i saw a screenshot of priva's face and i was drawn to her. but i know in my heart she consented to this scene because she would'nt have did it if she did not, i feel like she is being violated. i know this also sounds silly but their are some women in the porn business i've kinda attached myself to. i would never dream of bothering them or interupting their personal lives, i would never stalk them, i just a loyal fan of theirs. i also love porn and am so curious about this business and what makes people tick. but if they are favorites of mine and although i don't know them on a personal level (and probally never will), i kinda get defensive when i think they are being taken advantage of. i also tell myself that priva's husband (oliver sanchez) would never do anything to hurt her. i have to believe he loves her very much and would never put her in a situation she's uncomfortable with. this probably deals with insecurity issues i have since when i was eight, i was a victim of my second aunt if you know what i mean. i was raised by the two most wonderful women in the world (my late grandmother and my mom) and had no father figure. so i've been around women most of my life. i look highly on the women in the business and i disagree wth the slut shaming society brings their way. i honestly respect them for the work they do and joy they bring people like me.
I just watched the scene. I'm not sure how anyone who watches porn could be offended or disturbed by it. She is fucked by a group of guys, but other than making her gag while she blows them (which seems to be pretty standard fare in porn nowadays), they weren't doing anything that looked like it made her uncomfortable. No slapping. No choking. No spitting on the face. No stepping on heads. Priva looked like she was enjoying it. All in all, a fairly tame scene as far as gang bangs go.
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bluewomble85 Deactivated User
40 Posts 11/14
Posted - Jan 5 2015 : 6:16AM
yeah, i saw the screenshots on another porn website, it's her being dped for about 20 minutes. maybe i'm making too big of a deal of it. i got alot of personal stress going on in my life right now. i have no friends to talk to and i'm lonely for the most part. i'm just the kind of guy who don't like choking, gagging, slapping, spiting, urinating on, deficating on or doing anything to make the woman look bad. i don't want to come off as a snob when i say this, but could it be i'm too nice to watch porn??? i like treating ladies like ladies. i don't believe in slut shaming a woman if she likes to get gangbanged or if she likes to have sex alot with different guys. but i believe in treating women with respect. i've really wanted to ask priva some questions, but have been unsuccessful in contacting her. i understand the guarded nature people in the porn business have when it comes to fans and strangers. but i don't expect sex or anything, just knowledge because i'm curious about the business. i might watch it again although i noticed in one of the screenshots erik everhard has his hand on priva's throat. that gets to me.
Why on earth would you watch it again? There is plenty of "nice" porn out there - just find that and watch it.
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bluewomble85 Deactivated User
40 Posts 11/14
Posted - Jan 5 2015 : 10:38AM
i watched the scene in it's entirety and i feel like such a fool. it was'nt nearly as bad as i though it was. in fact, i've seen gangbangs worse than this (which i've blocked). there was a moment when mr. pete put his hand on priva's throat, not like a choke, but something less than a choke and priva took her hand and removed his hand from her throat. erik everhard did it too, but not as "hard" as mr. pete did. i noticed after mr. pete's hand was removed from priva's throat by priva, then there was a cutaway. she came off as the aggressor in the scene too. i think it's about the personal stress in my life, since i had a MRI on my brain and my doctor wants me to see a neurologist. since i'm fearing for the worst, i think the fear of dying had me so stressed out and this scene must have rubbed me the wrong way. i apologize to all i've drug into this mess that did'nt need to be. i'm just scared that the neurologist may tell me "you have brain cancer" or something along the lines of that and as cheesy as this sounds, i'll die not really knowing what it feels like to love somebody. once again, i apologize and thank all of you for trying to help me.
Posted - Jan 4 2015 : 5:04AM
