Now listen and tell me if you agree, the more I seem I whatch the more I feel depressed about not getting a girl!! of coarse you see things in porn that is fantasy and in real life does not happen that often with every girl. But truth is I am average looking guy not drop dead hot but not butt ugly either, although my SHYNESS and SELF CONFIDENCE makes me below average. But truth is most real good looking girls dont want average or ugly guy, they have to be a 10 or they wont waste time with you and that makes women disgusting, cause truth is if girls are average or ugly they can get guys to attract to them. but for us guys they were not born beautiful it kind of sucks cause we have no control the way we look. I have a friend that is really good looking obvious he can always get girls, and I dont even wanna hang out or be around him cause it depresses me make sense ?? but even porn stars though they having sex in videos, yeah they get paid but most of the time guys are good looking guys they are working with. Not sure how alot of you all think or feel, but porn I guess is all i fall back on, sure at the time makes you feel good whatching it, but later get very depressed and when I am out I get anger towards women. I mean I am 6 foot, 180 pounds, toned, clean cut, workout 4 days a week, brownish blonde hair, and blue eyes. But guess I just dont have that model look that girls go for now a days. and reason I get angry at women is cause I feel they should give a average or ugly guy a chance cause the model guys in the end will cheat on you and hurt you alot of the times. can anyone answer me this or relate and understand, I hate going out on weekends i rather stay in, cause if i see a nice looking girl it just depresses me, and I wanna come home thinking about her and whack it. and then all it does is get me depressed. Not sure why this happens but feel free to add to this conversation even if there are women also.
Dude, I think you are too insecure. There are plenty of totally hot girls that go for average looking guys. But those guys most often are more secure in themselves. They're not afraid of who they are. Even so, perhaps you have a skewed sense of reality. For the most part, people hook up with their equals - average girls & average guys; ugly girls & ugly guys; hot girls & hot guys; etc.... Don't look at porn thinking that's the way real life should be. Porn is selling a fantasy, an illusion. Most those porn girls wouldn't have anything to do with most of those porn studs if they weren't being paid by them. I work with a guy who's almost 40 years old, and he's very insecure and shy, and stays at home watching porn and playing video games. Needless to say, he's single and as long as I've known him (9 years) he's never even been out on a date. He always talks about how his future wife has to be totally hot. But he's this totally average guy. I'm always trying to encourage him to put himself out there, go to bars, clubs, church, etc. to try and meet someone, but he never does. He's destined to be single for life. Don't be mad at the girls. Be mad at yourself. Do something about yourself to raise your self esteem, and in turn that will ease your anger towards women.
I don't believe porn has anymore to do with a person's self-confidence or self-worth, than I do with music or movies making people do heinous things. None of it is really real in a true sense. Porn may play into your fantasy about finding the prettiest, and hottest sexual women, but it can never take the blame for something you aren't getting at home. Reality can be a bitch sometimes. Sometimes expectations have to simply be lowered or lessened, or you simply have to wait longer for something you absolutely need. It's your choice. Not sure if this is the right thread for your post either, but I'm not a mod.
I don't know what you expect to be told here. Frankly, you sound desperate and women hate that. If you're an average looking guy, you'll get a chance sooner or later. Just talk to women like you talk to everyone. Don't fixate on your attraction to every female you meet. If you're shy, you're going to seem even more shy if you're thinking about how hot she is and how inadequate you feel. It's going to make you stutter and stammer and make a fool of yourself if you can't just deal with her on a basic human level.
I have thought about starting a similar thread years ago but i thought "is a porn board really the right place ?" I think it is now. I agree that you or anyone else should not feel angry about the opposite being. In fact (imho) it is like looking into a (kind of) a reality that you have not experienced and are affraid of never experiencing ... and that is what this "anger" may come from. I know what you mean cause i am sitting not far away from you in the same boat. My experience with women are so little i can not give out any advice and over the years that have gone by i have build "my" understanding of the female being based on what i heard from others and seen or read. Now i am so discouraged to even go out and meet women because (even though i hate my life more and more) i realized that i am not willing to deal with "their" way of seeing things and thus driving any man into whatever it takes to avoid these issues. The price one has to pay is a big one. My fantasies are the only thing where i can feel like being alive. I sometimes wish i had a girl like (... this or that performer who does all these nasty things) but if it would happen in real life i guess i would be running away. Just imagine you find the right person and everything looks so good ... but you just have so different tastes in your sexuallity that she or he just starres at you with big open eyes. I agree about confidence ... but you can not buy that in any store and if you are being put down by everyday life how are you gonna build it ? I recently realized once more that all my years watching porn and "enjoying" it are never comming back. Now that i have to take certain pills even my erection is history too It is true that life can be a bitch ... the problem is just how does one deal with it ? I am pretty sure i will stay single for the rest of my life and even though i still watch all my girls on dvd/pc i does not make me feel as good as it did all those years. You know, there is a woman i know. She is married and i can never be with her but whenever i see her (which is not as much as i want to even though it is not good for my mental state) i have fantasies about her that pop into my head and i can not stop them from comming. Do you have any idead how hard it is to react "normal" around her when all you wanna do is to hug her an cuddle ?? not to mention the obvious. It makes you wanna hurt yourself for having those feelings I do not know all the facts that turned me into the person i am today and even though consuming porn may have to a lot more with it than i want to belive i can not revert it Cube Edited by - cubesnake on 11/18/2010 5:00:24 AM
"Don't let your lava love turn to stone." 489 Posts 5/06
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 4:50AM
Get a cat. They're great companions. Needle point is a nice hobby as well. It gives you something constructive to do with your hands while you're at home watching TV on Friday and Saturday nights. You could even needle point yourself a crying towel.
Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. The truth is that women, like men, are all over the map when it comes to what they look for in a mate. Mostly, if we had a good home growing up, we look for someone like our mom, or dad, as the case may be. If not, we look for polar opposites. Aside from that, men are much more concerned about looks than women are. Now, that doesn't mean women don't care if you look like a slob, it just means that most of them won't cut you dead simply because you don't measure up to Brad Pitt. As has been mentioned before, self confidence is probably the most attractive trait you can possess. Having a good personality is a big plus, of course. So, gain confidence in yourself by mastering some skills. Get comfortable with who you are, inside and out. Finally, stop approaching women as sex objects and start approaching them as human beings that you'd like to get to know as people.
I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a blowjob today. 46 Posts 8/10
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 8:40AM
I feel your pain. Let's call it "Bemis Syndrome". Now that I own more porn than people can possibly imagine, the ability to "enjoy" it wanes And, you know, as a man who got nothing out of life -- particularly with women -- losing the ability to really whack-off and enjoy it is a very bitter pill. Bemis is shown working at his post in a bank, reading David Copperfield at the same time, which causes an impatient customer to complain about being shortchanged by $1. As Bemis's day progresses, both his boss and his wife are shown to think his reading of "doggerel", as they call it, is a waste of time. At one point, his wife, as a cruel joke, asks him to read her poetry from a book; he eagerly obliges, only to find that she has drawn lines over all the text on the pages. The next day, Henry takes his lunch (and reading) break in the bank's vault, where he won't be disturbed. The camera shows the newspaper's foretelling headline: "H-Bomb Capable of Total Destruction." Moments later, loud explosions can be heard outside, violently shaking the vault and knocking Bemis unconscious. In the aftermath of the apparent war, he regains consciousness and emerges to find that he is the last person alive on Earth, everybody else having been killed by the bomb. He finds himself in a world of both abundance and emptiness, with food to last him a lifetime and sheer loneliness taking its toll on his sanity. As he loses hope and is about to commit suicide with a gun, he sees the ruins of the public library. He investigates, and finds that the books are still intact and readable-—all the books he could ever hope for are his for the taking, and he finally has all the time in the world to read, with no one to stop him. He contentedly sorts the books he intends to read for the next several years. Just as he reaches to pick up the first book, he stumbles, and his glasses fall off and shatter. (His glasses are extremely thick, indicating that he would be virtually blind without them.) In tears, he picks up the remains of his glasses and sobs, "That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was all the time I needed...! It's not fair!"
I pretty much agreed with everything Hardware said, but especially agree with the things I highlighted. At some point in there lives, people (men and yes women too) are gonna have to become comfortable with who they really are or wanna be. I do think change is very tough for most people once they become set in their ways, but don't think change is impossible for most people if they really want to. You may never be that cool guy who seems to get all the women or who turns heads wherever he goes. At some point you gotta decide who you want to live for, yourself or other people. The seeing women as mere sex objects is a bitter pill to swallow for most men, most probably men who are shy as well. Most men are visual, and let's face it, women are generally nice to look at. Women are more than that though, and want to be dealt with in way more ways than just that. One of the best ways to really get a woman, is by exactly befriending them on a real level and in real ways. And yes that does mean having to unfortunately talk to them. Women love to talk...sorry guys. Edited by - aplus on 11/18/2010 11:55:38 AM
I totally relate to the original poster, but I'm unsure of why he posted it here. I think that kind of goes without saying for many of us, but is this really the place? There are pickup artist websites that might help you with that, but confidence is really hard to build if you don't already have it. I personally am in therapy trying to solve this, to little success so far, and my first girlfriend was a ten (mentioning this to also point out that it's transitory and ever changing). But I've said more than I intended to. I joined this message board to get involved with porn fandom, so I should go back to that. But I do relate. -Boogeyman
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lovetoeatgirls2775 wrote: But truth is most real good looking girls dont want average or ugly guy, they have to be a 10 or they wont waste time with you and that makes women disgusting, cause truth is if girls are average or ugly they can get guys to attract to them. but for us guys they were not born beautiful it kind of sucks cause we have no control the way we look. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ^ I don't agree with that at all. I know alot of hot girls that are with average or below average looking guys. I would say that men are far more concerned with looks than women. You call these "real good looking" girls "disgusting" because they are only interested in hot guys but it seems to me that you are only interested in getting a hot looking girl. Which is pretty hypocritical. Women tend to be able to sense if a guy has hang ups or self esteem issues imo. Which may be the reason your not having any luck.
Edited by - bigscotsman27 on 11/18/2010 1:01:05 PM
Trust me man... I've been nerdy and pale as hell all my life (my mother might have been a polar bear) and I completely disagree with the thread starter. On a very base level and speaking in complete generalities, men tend to be more "visual" and women (thank god) tend to be attracted more so to personalities. I can tell you with a doubt the two biggest things that will attract women are intelligence and confidence. I fully realize it is not that simple. I wish I could go back to my younger self and tell him to chill out and relax, but I learned these things the hard way. Accept who you are. It's good to do positive things that improve on your self image, both physically and mentally. Bust most important, be comfortable in your own skin. The rest will follow.
And on that fateful day, the hatred consumed me... 1423 Posts 3/09
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 9:50PM
100% true. Writing a whole rant bemoaning superficial girls, whilst displaying EXACTLY THE SAME attributes in how you would choose your partners, isn't going to get you much sympathy. Think about it...
[Link]
Rosco Fuji Deactivated User
On the licking stick, Mr. Magic Dick! 3309 Posts 2/09
Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 11:36PM
Aaaaannnnnddddd you're crying to a bunch of guys on a porn site.
Well cause I am sure there are more people liwek me, trust me man its not crying on here, In all honesty most of you that are on a porn site obvious whatch porn all the time, and dont have a girlfriend or cant get a girl. I am just saying the hot girls are so stuck up and full of themselves, cause I can tell you now if you looked liek brad pitt you would not be on this board right now you be with all these girls.
It's clear to me, and just about everyone else in this thread that the problem is you. You've gotten some good replies here, but clearly you are going to continue to blame everyone else (women) for your own failures. Nobody enjoys being around negative, resentful people except other negative, resentful people. Good luck with that.
regarding bratt pitt being the solution things are not "that" simple. Nobody want´s to eat a birthday cake all the time. A lot of people tend to see this or that person as a "dreammate" but none of these people know their "dreammate" personaly. All we get to see in public is an illusion. Take brittney spears for instance ... when she was on her top everyone was all over her. When she had her breakdown people couldn´t believe what they had to whitness. What i am trying to say is there are no "dreammates" just people who trigger feelings inside you that you want to have fullfilled. You have no idea how often guys (with beautifull wives) cry about their oddities. I often thought to myself "thank god for not being in his shoes" So, what if you find a "10" and she treats you like shit ? would you want that ? Cube Edited by - cubesnake on 11/19/2010 3:41:19 AM
Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99
Posted - Nov 19 2010 : 10:15AM
You posted the same thing in July. If porn depresses you then stop watching it. But it sounds like your depression issues are more serious than that. Get some counseling. Women aren't the problem. The shit in your head is.
The problem is not women. You are the biggest part of your problem. I can't add to what the guys have told you, just agree with them. You are projecting neediness, insecurity, and desperation. As a woman, let me tell you that women can sense this from a mile away. I see mediocre or average men whith pretty or beautiful women ALL THE TIME. I see them day in and day out where I work. The only difference between you and them is that these guys are secure in themselves and are confident. Try a little role-playing and act like you're hot shit. Be confident, let all your natural charm come through, and just talk to people. I bet things might change for you if you kept this up long enough. Fake it till you make it. I'm a pretty girl with a nice figure, I take care of myself, I dress and groom well, and I had a sexual relationship with a guy who was pretty average. I was attracted to his confidence and masculinity, and that made him seem more handsome to me than he really was. Now that it's over, I can see he wasn't all that. But he was secure in himself, and that made him attractive to me.
[Link]
venom1980 Deactivated User
30 Posts 2/08
Posted - Nov 19 2010 : 3:51PM
I totally disagree with this topic ...u cant blame porn for ur own insecurities or problems with females...ur not the only 1 who has problems buddy u think every person its all sugar and rainbows? well its not...sure maybe u see people together a hot girl and a guy but are they really happy? u dont know that and for porn its a fantasy for men and women to get off nothing more theres nothing in porn that says this is how real life is porn is just like sports its entertainment and there for ur own entertainment if u cant enjoy it that way then maybe u should stop watching it and work on yourself first...u probably see females as sex toys or sex objects and thats what women hate most theres more to it then that its all about chemistry, ur personality ...looks usually come in last with females as for men we all get turned on by super models im not gonna lie but the reality of it is women like men who listen and understand them what they want and so on. i myself have the same problem with females im shy not so confident etc. and i talk to my friends about it and it could be a social disorder so u can either do 2 things go seek help or try and work on it yourself ....depending how bad it is which it sounds kinda bad for u is see a therapist and tell them what u tell us here because this is not for a porn forum lol, and im sure they will try there best to help u. as for myself im trying to work on it myself gradually but takes time and i dont go around blaming porn because usually these problems go way back before u even watched porn ...did u have a gf in high school? were u still shy in high school? think about it man but anyway ur not alone out there not sure how old u are but theres people in there 30s 40s even 50s with this problem so try and be happy for who u are and get out there dont look at what others have worry about yourself man im no counsler but i know how it is out there and its rough just dont give up im also not sure what ur looking for a wife maybe? if so let them find u and enjoy ur life,and if seeing porn or couples together upsets u ignore it and do what u like dont watch porn everyday either, watch it maybe once a week or something watching alot u get the mindset that all females are sluts and trust me i know the feeling so slow down with it. In order for u to change and get what u want u gotta change what u do and ur attitude once u start seeing and saying positive things u will get posistive things and a female will eventually come ur way but if u stay negative no one is gonna like being around u...i couldnt even stand being around myself at 1 point then i realized its just me so now im learning how to handle it and also looks dont get u girls the other posts say its ur confidence and there right confidence is the key so what if u look like brad pitt if brad pitt was insecure he wouldnt be with angelina jolie understand what im saying? anyways sorry for the long post just trying to help and say dont blame porn just listen to what i say and everyone else here and im sure u will be fine and if u need help see a counsler their there for u take care man.
[Link]
TheDreamPolice Deactivated User
170 Posts 2/10
Posted - Nov 19 2010 : 9:23PM
@OP. You should see some of these pornstar's real life boyfriends and husbands. It would probaly boost your ego.
[Link]
David Cop-a-feel Deactivated User
Trust me, honey, it gets better 323 Posts 10/10
Posted - Nov 20 2010 : 5:37PM
@Kevin Moore "Bust most important,..." Yes it certainly is ! ;-)
I agree totally lol...The pornstar females may love FUCKING the porn studs, but women rarely marry the guy theyre most attracted to...Money means a lot lol.. They also know a porn stud would be very hard to control, since they have more options in terms of attracting and fucking different women
dude i tell you are over depressed..girls are emotional and look for someone who can give them a good emotional shot..i have seen butt ugly guys with women who would send the richer scale out of order.
pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07
Posted - Dec 1 2010 : 12:14AM
I know it's a misogynistic truism but the idea that all women are out for dudes with money is another one of those 'facts' that never clicks with reality. I know a lot of good looking women with men who don't make more money than them.
don't blame porn because u didn't have your prioritys right mid-late teens so it makes u depressed because u go home and "think" about girls while whacking off but still you blame porn lol Edited by - Drebin on 12/1/2010 5:27:24 PM
Man i m completely average guy in every way even not buffed and definetly not tall i m only 21 yr old and guess what i watch porn for fun,everytime i dont try to talk to a girl i blame myself not look on her face,i felt insecure(couple yrs ago) now i dont bloody care guess why if i try 100 times i l get 1 of 100 and i l be cool :D,if i dont go out yea i watch porn read book(write a book myself) watch nice movie and guess what dont care as long as i do what i like i dont care .So what if u see rich nice looking girl in good car =>go depressed NO Fucking way ,meet her introduce urself or at least try YEA THERE on MIDDLE of street if u like start any subject if she turns u down who cares 1 out of 3291805000 females(exactly) on world( so u aint her match atm so what big deal) Also if u look for super hot chick u can get her but only if u love her not if u wanna have only sex with her and sex comes along sooner or later.And if u look sex only then guess what dont blame her for looking super guy also , since u are also looking for free fuck nice looking girl.I also stay alot at home last 2 yrs i spend time doing book,looking job ,university,watching stupid FOX Life series eating spaghetti while watching soap-series and when i think bout girl i say to myself "It'l come in time it always does ;)! SO 1st thing to do on ur list is to get hamster power for confidence(booze if necessary then u can ask mother Teresa to marry you ;) 2nd forget about depression even word itself sucks(such a long word for unneeded thing in ur life ;) 3rd go to club everytime u wanna think about girl ( any club if u dont like the music then think of the girls dancing :D) 4th in meantime find other pre occupation "Attack the stronghold :D" 5th do hoby dont even think about depressing things ,go find new favourite cheeseburger store,watch new movie,new series,try new cigars,new drinks,play games,read books,start fishing hunting,go train anything u wanted to do,go to zoo,watch Discovery channel 6th Ignore depressing facts and stop living in past( oh noes i didnt have gf long time SO)and live every day as u like it ;) Porn isnt depressing its relaxing its like watching football game where u love both teams :D xD axxaaxaxxaaxaxaxxxxxxxxaxaxaxax Removed quote Edited by - heynow on 12/16/2010 1:42:06 AM
Porn might be depressing if you mistook it for reality. As fantasy it is no more depressing than going to a mainstream movie and watching the hero lead a charmed life.
I often go to bed with a smile on my face after working my way through a couple of particularly good porn movies. I think everyone here knew that already!
Me2 i dont know how can porn depress people since it works like anti depressive not good as girl but better then pils :D!
[Link]
george78 Deactivated User
60 Posts 1/11
Posted - Jan 4 2011 : 9:51PM
Hi!, George here....I agree with you but the truth about you getting a girl isn't good man. I often feel the same as you..EXACTLY THE SAME. But when I try, like on a matching website, I DO MEET women and they are NOT always drop dead gorgeous. They like me fine. I only have 6.1" INCHES and they say it long enough for them. Get on eHarmony or Match.com and meet ordinary women. It will help you and you'll be surprised just how many are lonely too. SIMPLY "MARK-OFF" the ones that think they are God's gift to man and move on to the next one on these matching websites. It works for me and I'm average looking too. TRUST ME!--Not every woman wants a 10" INCH COCK. They prefer quality time. They like to be eaten out and take your time doing this part. Write back and let me know if you read this, OK?? Thanks!, George
So what i m 1,75 m tall and i never had bad time having fun with girl i m completely average and in height below average yet i had girls taller then me better looking,even dated size queen and i knew she was, and at the end my confidence got me into bed with her and in relationship so noo big dick aint getting ya laid but big confidence !
Your message reveals the problem and it ain't your looks. I'm sure it's all been covered before and I'm too lazy to read it. The good news is-the problem you have is fixable. The problem is your attitude toward yourself. If YOU don't think you are worthy-they are gonna think the same thing. It's likely your "gorgeous" buddy is no better looking than you, yet he is confident and thinks a lot of himself-that is the part that gets him girls, not his chiseled good looks. Haven't you ever noticed some hotty is with some dirty, hairy, fat guy that looks like Ron Jeremy? These couplings are everywhere and proof that women are much less into physical attributes than men. Women may have an impression based on your looks-and just as much on your cleanliness, style, etc. But note that latter part-if you take care of yourself it begins to tell them you think you are worth something and they'll be open to hear a bit more. I'm not the best looking guy-but I never had a problem talking to or getting hot women. Know why? Cuz I didn't give a fuck, I'm worth talking to and if they can't figure that out then they are too stupid and will probably get hit by a car crossing the street. You got to walk into a room and feel the same whether its full of hotties or full of bums... it shouldn't matter. If you are confident within yourself, the environment should have minimal to no impact on you. That is confidence. I don't mean you should be stuck on yourself-like a god's gift to women. I mean you should not care either way-that you're happy whether she goes home with you or not-that ultimately it's of no consequence. Get me? They sense that and you'll be able to simply stand still - they'll come to you. And confidence is king-in the end, you CAN be a dirty fat slob who stinks and wears goodwill clothes, if you excude confidence-it's animalistic-they'll want you. So fix your fucking confidence-don't work out for THEM, work out for YOU. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the moments of life. You sound like a sad hitchhiker when you should be driving a fast car. Women aren't going to stop on the road and get out to say hello to you. But if you're driving, doing your own thing, they'll want to hop in with you and see where you might be going. Now quit whining-that's step 1. EDIT: Oh ya-and just as a reference point, all through my 20s I was around 140 lbs, and about 5'10". It's all attitude, so fix yours. Edited by - seedfeeder on 2/19/2011 11:08:33 AM
+2! I can't tell you what a world of difference it made for me when I stopped blaming everyone else and just worked on my confidence, self esteem and little behavior queues. My dating and sex life sky rocketed when I changed my behavior and attitude towards myself and towards women in general.
Bemis is shown working at his post in a bank, reading David Copperfield at the same time, which causes an impatient customer to complain about being shortchanged by $1. As Bemis's day progresses, both his boss and his wife are shown to think his reading of "doggerel", as they call it, is a waste of time. At one point, his wife, as a cruel joke, asks him to read her poetry from a book; he eagerly obliges, only to find that she has drawn lines over all the text on the pages.
