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All Forums > Star Crossed > Star Crossed Forum Page 912 > Porn Parents
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Phallusee
Deactivated User


61 Posts
9/01
Posted - Nov 21 2001 : 11:33PM

Hi, All!
When I'm watching some of the nastier porn ('Gag Factor', 'Extreme Gangbang', Max Hardcore, etc. etc.) I often wonder if the fathers of these girls have knowledge of or have seen what their daughters do and have done to them. Have any of them gone insane, commited suicide, went on a murder spree in the San Fernando Valley, etc? I have to imagine it would be difficult to live with. Especially in the cases of 18 year old girls just off the bus who are clueless and get talked into doing very degrading things without thinking about it first. After you do it, it is out there forever. Long after the young lady has passed on creeps will be masturbating to those images. For all intents and purposes, that is your cosmic legacy. Those images will reverberate virtually forever, while those who knew and loved them will eventually pass on, leaving only those images of them to mark their existance.
wendy divine
Member

116 Posts
7/01
Posted - Nov 22 2001 : 10:56PM
First of all I know that there are plenty of girls or women out there that do things you might find degrading.. and I have to agree with you. But, it's none of my business what they choose to do. It's their life... and it's their decision to make. However, you make all porn sound as though it's terrible and horrible. You make it sound as though you find it disgusting.. or revolting. But, I would assume that you like to watch porn. It's just that your statement or question is misleading.
To answer it.. at least the only way I know how... I would say that a lot of parents don't know. But, there are plenty that do know. Some may not agree with what their children are doing and others may not care. But, either way when it comes to what someone does when they are an adult.. it's really noone else's business but, their own. I'm not saying you shouldn't ask this question.. I'm just saying that what anyone does once they are of age is really not up to the parents. I'm sure it must be hard but, the most they can do is offer advice or support in some way. That is if they don't want to push their kids away. There are plenty of parents that know what their daughters and sons do.. that are fine with it. And, some that may not be fine with it.. but, at least are still there for them if they are needed.
As for me.. my real dad knows.. and my father-in-law knows.. as well as a few other members of the family. Since I've only known my real dad for a few years.. his opinion isn't extremely important to me. But, he told me when I met him to never let anyone tell me what I could or couldn't do no matter what it was. I'd say he was supportive.. but, I'm really not sure it matters to him.
As for my father-in-law.. he really cares about us.. me and Eric. He cares about our health and our marriage. He wants us to be careful and take care of one another. That is what matters to him. He has said it's none of his business.. but, he lets us know he's there for us if we want to talk or share. And, he's always appreciative when we do. He just wants to know that we are ok. Eric and I may not do the degrading things.. or some of the more disgusting things.. but, regardless.. we still have people that care about us.. and don't judge us for what we do. That is what is important. At least for us. So, in answer to your question at least on my side.. no.. they haven't gone crazy killing people in the streets.. or anything else quite remarkable. They've just showed concern for our welfare. I'd say we are lucky.
Phallusee
Deactivated User

61 Posts
9/01
Posted - Nov 22 2001 : 11:16PM
I lay it right out. I find the disgusting, degrading porn erotic. I'm disturbed and aroused by it at the same time. Now you can draw any number of conclusions about me from that fact, but I think any reasonable observer of the porn scene will have to admit that my attitude can hardly be considered aberrant, not relative to the market. I appreciate all the thoughtful posts here about a silent majority yearning for a return to a more sensual, natural era in porn, but I disagree and find a certain amount of denial in these statements. Look around. Porn is truly product: Demand dictates Supply. This new age of anti-artifice, misogynistic parade of sadistic horrors is catering to an exponentially growing market. One thing I am truly alarmed by is the thought that a generation of young men who, let's face it, find it easy to access this type of pornography are going to mature into adult males on the bedrock of this grotesquery. To me, this new, grotesque gonzo breed of pornography is getting at some base Truth, intentionally or not. For better or worse, it feels more "honest". I think porn is at its heart an art of transgression. The only problem is, when DeSade practiced it he didn't have the financial backing of corporations. We live in a culture that increasingly wears its Id on its sleeve.
Good for you for having relatively supportive relatives. But I would wager that you are in a small minority. My initial post might have sounded like a sick joke, but the underlying sentiment was an honest one.

Cheers


Edited by - phallusee on Nov 22 2001

dumblonde
Senior Member

2352 Posts
7/00
Posted - Nov 23 2001 : 2:14PM
I would be much more horrified to have spawned one of the perpetrators of these nastier acts upon " 18 year old girls just off the bus who are clueless and get talked into doing very degrading things."
That would be much more cause for concern I would think, so your post seems rather mean-spirited.

Then again, consider Dave Hardman's mother - she doesn't look like suicide is on her mind, or any killing spree. Unless it's possible to gum someone to death!

tricia_devereaux
Evil Angel DVD

Patience is a virtue, but who wants to be virtuous?
4283 Posts
4/00
Posted - Nov 25 2001 : 3:38PM
I'm glad Wendy answered first. I've been working on my reply for a couple of days...

Although there are a lot of "misguided" girls who do a few videos and then realize they shouldn't have, for their own personal reasons, I really believe that the majority of the girls in today's porn really know what they're getting into.

In fact, many of them, (like me) probably researched it first, the same as any of you might research a new career choice. I'm always amazed at the intelligence of SO many of the girls who are the stars of porn today. Look at all the girls who have become business women within the industry, whether it's as a director, company owner, website owner, feature dancer (and yes, I consider that a business)...

Anyway, to answer your question...
My father passed away a couple of years before I started to strip. I honestly believe that he would not have approved of me doing porn. After all, he was upset when I wanted to audition for the symphony instead of study biology. But he was the type of man who loved me unconditionally and would never have stopped caring about me.

My mother is the same - she would LOVE for me to "get a real job". When I first told her about me in porn, I had already been doing vids for 6 months. She "disowned me" for about 3 months, but still wrote to me telling me how much she loved me, she was just too shocked to be able to see me right then. Before the holidays that year, I called her and told her that if she wanted to see me, I'd fly her to LA. She accepted, and we've been friends again ever since. Most of her good friends even know what I do and just say, "Kids will be kids". Now I visit with her several times a year. In fact, after I got HIV, she let me stay with her for awhile to get out of the heat of things and just get myself together.

I actually believe that Wendy and I are not in the minority when it comes to our parents. I've heard most girls and guys say "yeah, they know and they don't like it, but they still love me".
Of course there are guys and girls in porn who haven't told their parents because they believe that the "adults" wouldn't understand or forgive.
And there are the porn people who have told their parents and actually been disowned.
I think people like Chloe and Christi Lake, whose moms go to porn events to support them are very rare, but again, I think the majority is moms and dads who aren't thrilled, but are accepting.

Finally, I think that most of the parents who do have problems that they can't reconcile about their children being in porn can't get over it mostly because they don't want others to look at them as bad parents. Sure, there's lots of people out there who simply don't like porn and really wouldn't like their children to be doing it simply because of what it is. But social pressure is very influential even when it comes to family.

 
wendy divine
Member

116 Posts
7/01
Posted - Nov 25 2001 : 6:11PM
You are absoulutely correct Tricia... I took a few months to study porn, if you will, before I decided to go to CES. I actually watched videos for content and not just for fun. I decided on what companies I would like to work for or at least approach and I decided certain things I'd like to do when it was possible. When I got to the first CES I ever went to it was overwhelming.. but, I knew already what I was looking for when I got there. So, it was easier for me to turn down certain companies for work and not get involved in the more degrading films. I personally feel that to each his own when it comes to what turns you on.. if you like it fine.. if not then watch something else. I don't judge anyone for their decisions.. I just make my own. But, I do think Tricia is right... there are more people today getting into the business after thinking about it.. rather than just jumping in. That might make a big difference to how they deal with their parents. We know we could never tell Eric's mom... but, we're sure she has some idea.. and has finally quit asking questions.. I'm pretty sure she knows as we do that... she really doesn't want to know.. . And, because we have great parents who respect our decisions they let it go at that. But, like I said ... I'm lucky.. and so is Eric..



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