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All Forums > The Porn Pool > The Porn Pool Forum Page 194 > Porn- what I've learned > Porn- what I've learned (page 2)
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AuthorPost
blackcutie
Deactivated User

14 Posts
7/09
Posted - Jul 9 2009 : 1:54AM
Who ever loves the porn, they must accept this......
juha
Senior Member

2752 Posts
3/05
Posted - Jul 9 2009 : 12:02PM
Small breasted women are teens till their late twenties.
Big breasted women are MILFs as of their early twenties.
Rosco Fuji
Deactivated User

On the licking stick, Mr. Magic Dick!
3309 Posts
2/09
Posted - Jul 9 2009 : 2:15PM
I forgot that I had also learned that girls like peeing in other girl's mouths as long as you call it squirting and not peeing.
fu_q All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

Marv Montag (@PornOfYore)
2506 Posts
2/09
Posted - Jul 10 2009 : 12:20PM
^
 
Johnothan Pedak
Senior Member

Catastrophe
1594 Posts
6/07
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 2:45AM
Porn girls have no idea how to wash a car.
Love is nothing but lust misspelled.
Dread
Senior Member

Latex and boobs
5085 Posts
3/07
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 4:05AM
that girls are always broke and have to pay for everything with sex.
melt
Pornstar Diplomat

The pride of Manchester
3763 Posts
1/09
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 5:18AM

That porn starlets may have a particular name one day but dont expect it to be the same tomorrow.
JBauer24
Member

156 Posts
7/09
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 11:55AM
I have learned that the most attractive two parts of a woman are:
1) A 12" diameter circle, centered at the taint.
2) Her back
I have learned that apparently - the most unattractive parts of a woman are:
1) Her front torso, including her breasts and her waist.
2) Her face and hair
(Note for directors - just to make sure here, because I think many of you really don't get it... The above is sarcasm)
ntfighter
Member

645 Posts
7/07
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 3:42PM
Furniture designed for sitting are a much better platform for sex than any old bed.
Couches are preferred, love seats and chairs are good too.
drpickles
Member

15 Posts
6/09
Posted - Jul 19 2009 : 6:47PM
You guys have pretty much covered everything, so here's some things I've learned working in adult retail for a couple of years:
- Nothing a single male customer ever buys is for him. Yes, that $60, 12 pound, 24 inch dildo is a "gag gift" for his buddy. My response is usually, "Well that'll sure make him gag".
- $60, 12 pound, 24 inch dildos sell extremely well. I think I've only ever sold one to a female.
- Some women are not comfortable coming into a porn shop. However, they are not at all uncomfortable sitting in the car and sending their henpecked husbands inside to hunt for a device that will stimulate a vagina that they apparently have no idea about. These guys are easy to spot because they look lost.
- Explaining anal beads to the uninitiated will almost always lead to their purchase.
- Spending 3 hours in a porn shop and not buying anything isn't a waste of time if you walk out with enough box cover shots in your cell phone.
- Regardless of how many requests I get, it is damn near impossible to get an all black gangbang video.
- Cherokee (in addition to being hot-but-boring) is both a MILF and a teen.
-The older the customer, the more they spend.
sweetbbw
Member

46 Posts
12/08
Posted - Jul 20 2009 : 9:46PM

This thread is great!
monkey power
Member

Tim?
868 Posts
1/03
Posted - Jul 21 2009 : 5:51PM
I've been impressed by how Cal Jammer's Ghost has achieved inner peace online. Any day now, he'll probably be approached by the Ghost Whisperer. Usually she appears wearing a low cut blouse when someone is ready to cross over. I'm hoping that a porn-loving ghost like Cal will finally get her to take her top off in return. Actually, that's a great way to ensure a two part episode, because Ghost Whisperer isn't going to just take her top off right away in the first hour, you know. At first she's going to try negotiating for some other way of making the ghost happy. So if the ghost sticks to his guns and demands to see her titties in return for crossing over, that ghost is going earn some more party time on earth because you know her top ain't coming off on CBS. Although they would break ratings records when people tuned in to see the conclusion.... Don't go into the light, Cal! Go into the blacklight! Make her strip! Then they could include it as a bonus feature on the UNRATED Ghost Whisperer DVD set.
Also, I've learned that exactly 50% of feature dancers have accidentally pooped on stage.
In other words, the one you ask about it will say no it hasn't happened to her but then she'll launch into a story about how it happened to her friend.
Also, I've learned that sex is more of a religious experience than church. (Let's go to a recent porn transcript I copied down using one-handed shorthand like a court reporter without pants:
"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh... [the transcript ends here, so it's unclear whether the next word was 'God' or not, though by using deductive reasoning, that would fit the established pattern]).
Edited by - Monkey Power on 7/21/2009 6:00:19 PM
BYOB_Kenobi
Senior Member

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Kierkegaard
2684 Posts
8/09
Posted - Aug 30 2009 : 10:03PM
Great thread. Hopefully I didn't repeat any prior observations.
1). Dudes have to look eye level and not talk all the times when at urinals, but it's okay to a). to watch another guy bang a chick and make comments b). to rub against another dude's dick if you are trying to double stuff a girl c). for your balls to slap against another guy's balls if you are trying to DP a girl.
2). Every vagina in porn is tight.
3). The only acceptable time to hock a lugie is if it's going inside a chick's vagina or anus.
4). Guys don't wanna see a girl orgasm in porn and the director should always cut away.
5). Porn girls never fall asleep after sex.
6). Bodily fluids clean themselves off furniture.
7). There's a 10 minute rule for anal to vaginal intercourse without girl getting infection.
8). Michael Jackson isn't the only person to bleach his/her skin.
9). Chicks with bad eye sight always wear glasses, never contacts.
10). Chicks think making love is overrated and only like to fuck like bunnies.
torris
Senior Member

Deep within Mila's anus
1827 Posts
1/00
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 7:12PM
 
torris
Senior Member

Deep within Mila's anus
1827 Posts
1/00
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 7:15PM
[5.Once no one will hire you any more to get pounded double anal by thirty straight white guys, all of whom slap the shit out of you, pinch your nostrils closed while you're deep-throating them, cum in your ass and choke you unconscious... you'll have vanilla sex with a black dude.
=============
Returning to porn after a two year sabbatical (real girlfriend) what's with the fish hooking (Is there a term for this?) doggy: either vag or anal; and the guy hooks his fingers into the girl's mouth and pulls into a joker type grimace. WTF? disturbing
Cornell Lingus
Senior Member

Carryin', contrarian, libertarian
2982 Posts
1/08
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 9:08PM
^ We've got to get you out of Utah more often, bud.
PornoHolik
Member

45 Posts
2/08
Posted - Aug 31 2009 : 9:26PM
What I've learned from porn:
Men don't have to get straight-up hard when having sex. Half hard is good enough. There's nothing sexier than watching a man bang a sexy chick for ten minutes, then he pulls it out and it points to the floor. Hot.
The sexiest man in porn was John Holmes...who never ever got fully hard.
Porn chicks always need validation that she's doing a good job, hence the questions like, "Do you like it?" "Does that feel good?" "Does that turn you on?" ad nausium.
The only questions that can be asked of a porn chick in a BTS interview are: "What's your name?" "How old are you?" Where are you from?" "When did you lose your virginity?"
It's okay to repeat all questions, something like: "What's your name?" "Lacy." "And how old are you Lacy?" "I'm 19." "Where are you from?" "I'm from Orange County." "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" "16." "So your name is Lacy?" "Yes." And you're 19, huh?" "Uh huh" "And you come to us today all the way from Orange County?" "Yeah." "19 huh? That's nice."
If the interviewer is Luke Ford, then add the question: "Who did you hang out with in high school?"
black swan
Member

95 Posts
10/13
Posted - Oct 31 2013 : 3:59PM
‚±‚Ƃ́A«Œð‚Æ‚µ‚Ä“¯«ˆ¤ŽÒ‚ð‹zˆø‚µAƒfƒBƒbƒNƒX‚ð‹z‚¤s‚­
Dutchgangbangboys
Member

925 Posts
8/12
Posted - Oct 31 2013 : 6:10PM
1. European guys keep there clothes on way too long during sex.
2. Making quacking noises during bj's is not a thing that is natural and that particular trend only lasted a few years (thank god that's almost completely over.)
3. European girls make the guys come, american guys make themselves come.
4. Black actors on average have bigger dicks but smaller cumshots. (A generalization of course but my entire post is)
5. Big gangbangs are a thing of the past. Mysoginistic gangbangs are todays trend (verging on torture porn even. Terrible trend.)
6. Tatoo's make forum dwellers puke and others horny.
7. Shaving a small part of your head brings out the total slut in you.
8. Lingerie is no longer budgetted into the expenses of the movie.
9. Porn directors have terrible taste in both furniture and art.
10. You can start sex next to the pool but you always finish up inside the house.
N00dlesDaddy
Senior Member

Layla...got me on my knees...
1793 Posts
7/13
Posted - Nov 19 2013 : 4:30AM
OK, what I've learned:
1) Women seem to like wearing collars/chokers in bed.
2) Most adult women seem to be exhibiting some kind of alopecia of the genitalia. Curious phenomenon. Looks hot though.
3) Average-sized, semi-erect cocks are, in actual fact, 'big, hard cocks'. Who knew?
4) Cum is always 'hot'. I've dipped a finger in many a load of mine to test the temperature - never more than lukewarm. Maybe I'm not eating enough green chillies.
5) Women on box covers look perpetually surprised/angry/vaguely sinister.
6) 50% of the time, said box cover will be better than the actual movie.
7) It's almost never worth the 10-minute wait it takes some guys to cum ("You made me wait 10 fucking minutes to see that...dribble?! You took so long I was expecting Mount fucking Vesuvius!")
Dutchgangbangboys
Member

925 Posts
8/12
Posted - Nov 24 2013 : 4:59PM
Global warming negatively effects cumshot size.
16nwllp16
Member

25 Posts
11/13
Posted - Nov 29 2013 : 11:28AM
Sexy lingerie such as garter belt and stuff seem to be out of fashion. It is a pity since girls in them is a turn on to me.
N00dlesDaddy
Senior Member

Layla...got me on my knees...
1793 Posts
7/13
Posted - Nov 29 2013 : 2:10PM
8) Quite a few guys have triangular cock heads .
N00dlesDaddy
Senior Member

Layla...got me on my knees...
1793 Posts
7/13
Posted - Apr 9 2015 : 1:54AM
9) The guys who are most vocal when cumming usually shoot least.
 
JigglyBoobs
Senior Member

1614 Posts
3/12
Posted - Apr 9 2015 : 2:29AM
For women to wear 6 inch acrylic heels is perfectly normal during sex.
Guys who cum in women's faces always wake up to find their genitalia intact.
Dragon Sign
Deactivated User

3381 Posts
12/13
Posted - Apr 10 2015 : 3:28AM
This I did not know prior to buying american made DVDs:
The studios play an important role, not the actors.
It's a DVD out there for every taste, never a taste for every DVD.
If the director is good, the product won't be bad.
If the director is bad, the product will never be any good.

Teens never stay shy for very long, maybe only for the time of the BTS.
European babes from outside of U.K. talk with their bodies and smile mostly.
Make-up artists has a spot to fill, not only the cocks.
Fake boobs is a transport system that bring babes outside the radar system easily, and not a system you need to be travelling in.
You'll probably never see the same girl dressup the same twice.
Twins and sisters can show up in the same scene, it makes you buy loads of DVDs like Fuck My Mom & Me from Lethal Hardcore.
Couples can bang the babysitter and get away with it easily.
Even step brothers the days.
Double play is not a boring tennis game after all.
Single is good, boyfriends can be bad, and girlfriends never fight.
Trust the pictures, not the titles when judging DVD covers.
There is no reason to buy bad products. Most products are in fact bad when taking a wide range. So this is not groceries but more of a timeconsuming shopping trip.
Good products is not the result of some lucky day's work, it's a path into more.
You can take away the use of nicotine by using magnets, the only good cure in porn is getting more.

Sexy Sadie All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

I came to turn on everyone
978 Posts
6/10
Posted - Sep 29 2015 : 11:40PM
If a mom (or step-mom) is comforting her daughter (or step-daughter) because the daughter's boyfriend has done someting dickish, it's normal for things to start getting a bit sexual, and when the daughter voices her concerns that her mother licking her neck or rubbing her breasts makes her feel uncomfortable or weird, these concerns are instantly alleviated by the mom's observation: "don't worry honey, it's perfectly natural".
When an attractive female is hanging out with her equally attractive BFF and bemoaning the fact her boyfriend has been cheating on her, said BFF will actually be a secret lesbian and will offer to massage the cheated-upon hottie as a sure-fire way of making her feel better. The massagee will at some point express nervousness about being naked, this concern will be instantly alleviated by the secret lesbian masseuse offering to get naked too, or at least taking her top off to expose her breasts.
The above two methods of alleviating concern appear counter-intuitive but that might be due to me being a hetero-normative stick-in-the-mud.
N00dlesDaddy
Senior Member

Layla...got me on my knees...
1793 Posts
7/13
Posted - Sep 30 2015 : 4:34PM
^ Funny . However, I always think it's a bit mean to take the piss out of what is obviously intended to cater to male fantasies. 99.9% of porn is inherently ridiculous; that's why we love it.
flyingdutchman
Member

58 Posts
2/12
Posted - Oct 1 2015 : 9:06AM
The most sexy part about a woman is her anus, preferably maimed.
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