Most porn has evolved into a formulaic structure of what is portrayed. The very nature of a formulaic approach goes against "real sex." For real sex you need people that are connected, not just going through the motions for a paycheck. In a recent movie I could tell that most of the guys were really into the sex. With the women I wasn't sure how much was real and how much was for show. There weren't any female orgasms either. However, in the behind the scenes, the women from one of the scenes said that they had a lot of fun. The fact that they had a lot of fun doesn't mean it was the toe-curling screaming orgasm variety of fun that I like to see.
You may not like to see some guy's face when he cums. The next person may want to see a full body shot that includes facial expression, not just a close-up of a spurting dick. Why are certain sex acts portrayed in a particular way time and time again? It's just the old status quo.
It's not too much to expect to get your moneys worth. You may have to do a lot of searching to find studios/directors/performers that are portraying what you would like to see. Personally, I haven't found much that is close to what I what to see, shot the way I want to see it. If I could find one scene out of ten that were the real deal I would be so lucky.

