I couldn't find more than a handful of forums with a couple of posts on the subject, so I thought I'd start one up on the subject of psychological/emotional health for the porn viewer. While I don't buy into half of the psychobabble about how harmful porn is- usually a view spouted by people who are very invested in that view (i.e. anti-porn forces, churches, and the therapy sect, just itching to sell you books to "cure you"), but some of the criticisms are quite warranted: porn addiction, men and women ignoring the offer of sex with their spouses to look at porn, people unable to cum without porn, etc., etc.. So I'm curious- what measures do you take, if any, to keep yourself psychologically and emotionally healthy as a fan and viewer of porn? Do you self-impose limits? Do you mentally separate the different types of sex between porn and real-life lovers? Do you try to incorporate it into relationships? I'm mostly curious, first of all, but I also think it's important that we treat porn as something powerful- able to transform our lives either positively or negatively, depending on how we use it. So what's your personal approach?
^I become interested in porn only when I don't get enough satisfaction with a real lady for one reason or another. Porn is a substitute for real sex, as far as I'm concerned. And for me watching porn can never be as satisfying as having real sex is. I don't think watching porn causes any psychological problems for me. But I can see how someone might mistakenly think that I have psychological problems because of watching porn. If for one reason or another my sex-life isn't going well with my lady. Which causes problems between us, and which encourages me to start watching porn in order to compensate for my lack of satisfaction. Then some people might mistakenly accuse me of being addicted to porn and being 'oversexed' due to that addiction. I suppose, you can call it 'blaming the victim' type of accusation. My attempt to find satisfaction outside of an unsatisfying relationship is used against me as evidence that somehow I'm to blame for the trouble in that relationship.
For me I rarely check out porn when I'm getting laid regularly. I wouldn't say I don't watch it at all, but it's definitely quite rare. So I figure it's kind of like Dan's situation. If I'm not getting any, I still need sexual satisfaction, so I turn to porn. If I am getting it, and it's often and it's satisfying, then porn just doesn't seem nearly as good as the real thing, so instead of sitting down to watch a porn flick, I'll call my ladyfriend and get it on. Right now, I'm not getting any. :(
Just another bare bum in the shiower 1739 Posts 12/04
Posted - Nov 25 2008 : 5:55AM
The way I see it, if it gets to the point where I can't get off without porn then it's a problem. That is why I am very wary of introducing porn into my relationships - which is hard when so many girls are into the nasty stuff these days!
My life was fucked up a long time before I was ever old enough to legally view porn. I wish porn was that powerful but the truth is it isn't. I wish I could blame all the shit in my life on porn. If I'm "addicted" to porn, it's not because porn is addictive. It's because all the other shit in my life drove me batty and I seek escape from it wherever I can. I feel bad so much of the time that there's no way I'm going to consciously avoid the few things that are actually legal that make me feel good. I don't think I spend an inordinate amount of time on porn. Perhaps in the past. My sex drive has tapered off and as it has, so has my porn viewing. I don't know what healthy is. There's really nothing healthy about my life other than the fact that there's no end in sight. Porn is the least of my worries. I really wish I was healthy enough (Especially in terms of psychological health) that I could start nitpicking and looking for little details that were slightly unhealthy but the fact is, it's everything and there's nothing I can do about it. Edited by - randomprecision on 11/25/2008 6:14:08 AM
To my mind, porn-watching is cool so long as it doesn't interfere w/ your regular activities, including sex. I see porn as a part of my sex life, but not all of it. Porn enables me to participate vicariously in activities that otherwise I couldn't enjoy: orgies, gangbangs, bukkakes. Nobody ever caught an STD from watching porn. My wife doesn't enjoy porn, but she accepts that I do.
I think the people in here have a strong voyeristic bent no doubt which got me thinking about the www.worldsexguide.com and how the guys over there are differentiated from the guys here in that the latter are mongers so an interesting contrast between voyers and sex mongers.
My reason for watching porn deals with the fact that I love women and I love poon & booty (a term I use a lot). I'm a single man who can afford this luxury. I'm sure many men would love to trade places with me. Not everyone watches porn because they can't get any. Whoever preaches that myth is biased and has a habit of making blanket statements. What does that say about the male pornographers and porn stars who engage in it? Too much pornographic watching, however, can fuck you up, mentally and physically. You may become immune to the natural feeling after awhile & you could become bored with it. If a man use it as a self-help tool, he's a retard. If he prefers it over the real thing, he's a retard. Recently, I've watched a video on youtube... It was about a woman, married to her husband for 9 years... She has no respect for him, doesn't talk to him, doesn't give him any sex. She's gained a lot of weight throughout the years to the point to where the thought of sex disgusts her. Now, she discovers he has a porn stash and she's unhappy about it, calling a talk show host, asking for advice. They label him as "a porn addict" instead of telling her to get off her ass, lose weight, gain confidence, eat right and fuck her husband. Instead, they find different way to make the man look like the scum of the world. What kind of shit is that???
My girlfriend makes me watch porn, please help me. I am at
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Mr. Sausage Deactivated User
330 Posts 11/06
Posted - Jan 8 2009 : 3:18AM
That's funny. He's an "addict" because his wife continues to gain weight and is not interested in him or sex because of her weight. Now she wonders why he is looking at other women? He still has blood running through his veins. Unlike his wife who has mostly cream filling.
