Are there any porn stars today that actually interact with their non-US fans? Many girls visit stores, dance at strip-clubs and visit big fairs so fans can meet them in real life and ask questions, get autographs and so on but that only applies to the US and sometimes maybe Canada. The only girl I know that takes time to answer e-mails is the lovely Lori Michaels, and I think that is a great gesture of her, showing that she actually cares about her fans. I also know that some have e-mails and such but they never read it themselves due to the amount of mails they get each day, so they hire so called “screeners” that do that for them. I can understand that, since they probably receive lots of sick and dirty mail that in many cases might be offensive. However, the mail from people that really cares is also neglected and that makes me somewhat angry. It is an ignorant thing to do in my opinion. When big rock stars/bands like Tommy Lee, VAST, Deadlights, Soulfly, Simon Says, Professional Murder Music and Ultraspank take time to interact with their fans, why can’t porn stars do the same?
If that gets you angry then I wouldn't recommend spending a few days writing caring and thoughtful replies to (say) the hundred or so emails I get in my hotmail account each day. You might explode! It's pretty darn difficult to quickly separate the good spam from the torrent of moronic rubbish I can assure you. There are only so many hours in the day.
Also while I'm here, do you think that all those people who manage to post messages here without adding 'PLEASE READ' to the end of them are hoping that people do, or do not, read what they've written?
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GattMan Deactivated User
Melbourne, Australia 129 Posts 1/02
Posted - May 28 2002 : 11:20PM
Hi
I have to go on the fence with this question as im sure lots of female stars get lots of shocking emails but it must be hard to sort out the desperados from the fans The way I see it is I wouldnt ask anyone porn star or not a question I wouldnt as any woman to her face I've been to a few adult star chats and im appalled at what questions are asked I think hmm I wonder how you would feel if i asked "your sister" that question
When I finally got an email account I used to answer every single letter I got. Even the ones that were what some might consider offensive. I would spend hours at a time if not all day reading and answering letters. I would maybe answer with a few words or a few pages. I spent time, energy and emotion in everything I did. I also missed a lot of time with my husband. Now I get tons of junk mail and some mail from fans. The mail I get now is usually of a few different types. There are those asking me to help them get into the business. Those that are asking me to have sex with them. Those that send compliments and best wishes. And, those that talk to me and send me jokes almost on a regular basis. I tend to answer every once in a while. I answer the ones that are genuine and are asking something that I feel deserves attention. Sometimes though it can be hard to catch up with everyone when email piles up. Right now I have about 500 emails sitting there. It got away from me some time back and I haven't been able to catch up. And, when I do finally go back and try to answer some of them the email address used to write to me is no longer any good. So, not a lot I can do about it. I've often tried to let people know that it may take me forever to get to it but, I'll try to answer when I can what I can. However, there are times that I delete things that I feel are just way too stupid or obscene to answer. I'm not trying to be insensitive but, some things are just not worth answering or replying to. I get tons of jokes. Once in a while I'll write back to say that it was funny but, not generally. As for over seas fans.. I answer them just like anyone else. I even have one friend on icq that I speak to pretty regularly that is in the UK. I don't treat anyone different than anyone else. There are times though that I get mail that is in another language. Sorry I speak English. If I can't understand it I can't answer it. So, I try to let them know I don't speak that language. Other times I get mail that have attachments. I do not open things that don't have a message with them. I delete them in case they might be viruses. Usually this is the case. I always appreciate every letter I get and I try to do what I can to keep up. But, when you do get a lot of email and the letters are so diversified it's not easy to keep up. Especially if you really want to put something into it. It takes a lot of time and energy that we don't always have available. Not to mention it's hard sometimes answering the same questions over and over again like a robot. I try but, it's not always easy. As for those rock stars you speak of... there are so many people out there that have other people write for them so they don't have to. That includes some of your big name people. I'm not saying that all of them do that but, a lot of them do. That also includes porn stars and more. I at least answer my mail personally. Which is why it takes so long. Honestly though, it's not easy to be online. You may not understand the kind of pressure there is when it comes to email and websites and other things associated. At times you just need a break. I've also got fan mail piled up under my desk. Snail mail. I'll get to it. But, it'll take me a while. You know what though. I've answered I don't know how many letters. I've given away I can't count how many photos to fans asking for free pictures and autographs. And, not once have they replied thank you. Answer me that? I've sent bunches of cards, letters, autographs and 8x10's to people. I've signed their cards or photos and I always include a handwritten letter to say thanks. Noone ever writes me back or says thank you in any way. What kind of appreciation is that? Those things cost money. A lot of money. But, I do it because I care about the fans. It's obvious how much they care ..... I get letters that say ..... Please sign these cards and send me 5 8x10's hand signed. Thank you
and that's it.. nothing else.. just an envelope maybe for the return. And, I even pay for the postage sometimes cause they didn't put enough on it. If you want to start in on porn stars.. be sure you know which ones to talk to. I may not get to every letter or answer every email. But, I do appreciate my fans and I do try probably harder than most. It would be nice to see some appreciation come the other way instead of always hearing give give give ... free free free.... I can count on one hand the people that have offered money or even sent money. If I'm lucky I might count to 3. I'm not rich... and photos aren't cheap. Not to mention paying a cable bill either. If it wasn't for the fact that I like to look up information online and occasionally speak to some friends I'd turn it off. Personally if a fan wants me to reply... snail mail is a much better way to get me to do so. At least that way I have a way of getting to them if something changes.
Patience is a virtue, but who wants to be virtuous? 4283 Posts 4/00
Posted - May 29 2002 : 2:36AM
It sure sounds like it! WOW!!!
I agree with everything Wendy said - how difficult it is to take the time and energy to sort through the mail.
I too used to send some sort of reply to every email. But I'm not as nice as Wendy. I used to send emails to scold the people who sent mean things to me. I would yell at them, and ask them what the hell were they thinking. Then I realized those sickos probably got off on getting yelled at, so I would send them a sarcastic email, saying "Thanks for your kind words. I will treasure them always." That one made me feel especially good after the emails from the religious freaks who would tell me I was going to go to hell for doing porn. Anyway, I got tired quickly, and stopped responding to the bad emails altogether.
The nice emails - if they ask a question that I feel comfortable answering, I do my best to get to it.
The ones that don't ask a question, I often don't send a reply, but like Wendy, I do everything I can to get to them all. (I often set them aside for a little bit because I have to give Evil Angel's mail priority.)
But as for Wendy sending out free pictures, that is ABOVE and BEYOND what anyone could ever expect. I don't send out free pics to ANYONE, and I always request a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope. Sure, I'd chip in a few cents for postage if they had sent an envelope and just miscalulated, but all snail mail or emails that say, hey - can you send me a pic, with no envelope or postage or anything included, gets thrown away. Emails requesting me to send them internet pics get ignored, or if I'm in a good mood that day, I give them a couple names of sites that have pics of me posted.
Finally, as for non-US fans, I get LOTS of email, and postal mail from overseas, and always respond to it the same as if it was from the US. When I was better with my French, I'd even try to respond with a little for some of my French fans.
Anyway, as was the topic of a thread a long time ago, it seems like the nice people aren't nearly as vocal as the not nice ones, so it kind of ruins things for everyone. Bad stuff drains the energy of everyone, including porn girls.
A big “Thank You” to Wendy and Tricia for taking their time to reply with such well-thought and long answers! The words I used were too strong, I do not get “somewhat angry” even though I put it out that way. Nevertheless, I still think it would be cool if the stars and directors in the XXX-business could interact in some way with us non-US people. I fully understand that it must be a difficult to sort out the “good e-mails” from the “bad e-mails” but some people try and they earn my respect.
All the best to all of you and I really hope that you will keep up the good work! I am really looking forward to see all good adult entertainment that lies ahead.
Woah Wendy! I know your looks are pretty spectacular and all but I’m getting turned on by your mind here! It’s great that you care so much and try so hard but it sounds like that ‘only so many hours in the day’ thing could be a real problem there. It’s impossible to please everyone, you just have to proritise. Good on you for putting your fans so high on the list but real fans will want to to keep yourself way up there too! And understand how many things you have to look after, especially yourself. Try criticising some of the crappier jokes you get sent, that really thins out the volume for me after a while.
Anyway, I’ll give people due warning now that I’m about to derail this thread and talk about myself for a moment, but stick with me, it’s a decent story.
I worked on a telephone helpline for a while a fair few years ago, and one day someone wrote in a great letter saying that I sounded like I cared about what I did, and was very helpful and easy to understand. Was a credit to the company, etc. a couple of paragraphs of stuff like that. That sort of appreciation was almost unheard of around the workplace. The letter just came out of nowhere. I couldn’t remember a thing about the guy, sure hadn’t done anything special to help him and he was in no real position to gain anything at all by writing the letter. But talk about making my day, it made my decade! I’m still talking about it years later. I looked up his account and would have crawled over hot coals to help the guy out after that.
But the main thing that I got out of the whole thing was a sense of amazement that the 15 minutes or so that he spent writing and posting the letter had SUCH a huge impact on me. I was beaming around work for a month at least. So I still try to keep that feeling in the back of my mind a bit. Every now and then, not even once a year I spend my 15 minutes writing out a letter (usually anonymous) just thanking someone low down on a company totem pole for doing their job well. Addressed to the manager of the whole company of course! One person wrote back this huge letter that was great but mostly, I just think of it as my way of thanking that original guy for that great feeling, all those years ago. Ahhhh. Isn’t that sweet? This might sound like a naive, dorky story to some people out there. That’s fair enough, you can be as grumpy as you like with your life, I hope it works out well for you. But this is one of a limited number of good ideas that I’ve had and actually put into practice. Every now and then, I get this huge smile out of it. Gotta be happy with that.
Ok, so storytime’s over now. I’d just suggest to someone who really is a big fan of Wendy, or anyone else, that they just send them a letter how much you appreciate them. Don’t ask, expect, or even be in a position to get something back in return from them or it doesn’t work as well. It’s just a one way thing to them, from you. That’s the whole point of it! It’s all about them, not at all you. Maybe you can unmask yourself as the mysterious nice person months and months later on, that could be cool. I 100% guarantee that they’ll remember the letter!
Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99
Posted - May 29 2002 : 9:39AM
I'm no star, but I'm at a point where I can no longer keep up with "fan mail". People sure have some balls when it comes to email (anyone remember the guy who sent me pictures of himself jacking off?) I think that all public women on the web involved in anything sex-oriented get a host of crude emails.
Keep in mind that porn stars share something very intimate with viewers/fans. It's not the same as rock stars or hollywood actors.
Wendy, I can't believe you send free pictures. I'd send a URL to pics on the web, and say you can buy prints at...
Tricia, love your response "Thanks for your kind words. I will treasure them always."
pornnookie - there are adult trade shows and in-store signings all over the world. i believe that a couple of our australian members are meeting serenity soon
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Planet Sex Deactivated User
1951 Posts 6/01
Posted - May 29 2002 : 10:32AM
I don´t get fan mail, but my mailbox is full of chain mail. Does that count?
<With today's lot of 64 emails open in a seperate window...>
Everyone here who has ever emailed me already knows I always answer. Sometimes it takes longer than others, but I alwaysy get to it eventually. I answer all my email, I answer the requests for escorting politely, I answer the intrusive questions politely, I answer the negative slut comments politely. The only ones I don't answer are the "hey porn slut suck my sweaty balls", because if the person who sent it isn't actually 15, his mind hasn't matured beyond that point and I have no business talking to children. Like Wendy, some fans have put me on some sort of joke-of-the-day email thing, and I get a pile of those. I weed out the good ones and post them on a forum I belong to that has a Jokes/Funnies area. Makes me look like *I* have a good sense of humor :) Some fans have also got me on some sort of horrible "sensitive inspiration" list and I get emails telling me how wonderful the world would be if everyone was just as wonderfully cuddly as I am. (GAG!!!) I could do without those, but I appreciate the thought. It doesn't matter to me if someone is out of the USA. One of my favorite fans is an Aussie. One from Spain sent me a soccer team jersey from his favorite team - as soon as I get to it I'm going to take some pictures in it and post them in my Yahoo Group for him. Why don't more porn stars interact with their fans on a person-to-person level? I dunno... I guess they figure it just doesn't matter.
Wendy, Maybe you can look at the bright side of this. If everyone replied to thank you, you would now have twice as many letters & e-mails that you can't get to.
