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I had a guy who invited me over to his house one time. I'd been home from work about an hour and wasn't really expecting to go anywhere. So anyway, I was doing hookups on the downlow so I didn't tell anyone where I was going. When I got there, the guy was nice. We spent about a couple of hours together and then he abruptly told me to get the fuck out. This was after he gave me a few beers. I was expecting to be there long enough to sober up before I had to drive home. So there I was sitting in my car in his driveway 30 miles away from home not knowing what to do. So I ended up driving with a beer buzz. I went to a restaurant and sat there for two hours and drank coffee. The stupid part is I don't even drink. I accepted the beers because I figured it would loosen things up a bit and I didn't want to be rude. Edited by - randomprecision on 3/4/2011 11:18:33 PM
There was a time when I used to be on IRC and chat with people in some of the sex talk rooms. I was into Netsex, because it was great fun when it worked out, but it was agonizing when it went bad. (But that's on a different tangent.) For awhile there was a lady I was regularly chatting with. Not netsex per se, but explicit talk because we shared a similar fetish. I won't say she was nuts, but she was Out There. The closest thing I can think of is those conspiracy theorists who believe in corporate/government cabals that work together to keep us all under our thumbs. She had a house but rented it out, and lived in a van with her dog, and she would travel, do some sort of shadowy business consultancy that I never understood (and didn't want to), and camp on the beach and smoke weed. Fine (I suppose) if you want to do it, but I didn't want to. Anyway, one day this lady was going to be in town and I decided what the hell, I'll meet her, so we met at a restaurant and had dinner. I expected someone like Kathy Bates from MISERY, but she was surprisingly attractive. Unfortunately, instead of dinner conversation being about our favorite topic, it was about her business, and some strong, unveiled hints that she wanted to come back to my place because she needed a land line to do some business. Uh--no. Visions of the FBI showing up at my door with warrants and wire taps, and what am I going to tell them? That the only thing I really knew about her was her sex life with her vibrator? So that was the end of that. A flip-side kind of story: something similar happened with another lady from IRC, except that she didn't frighten me. She was in town, and we met at a movie. Sweet lady, but unattractive (to me) and even though I could have spent the weekend in a motel room with her getting laid 8 ways from Sunday (she was willing), I just couldn't do it. So much for that. Now I avoid meeting people IRL that I meet on the computer (at least where sex is concerned). It just ruins everything.
This thread is already moving into an online dating tagent so I'll just continue that. Years ago after my divorce and when AOL was still a new thing, I met a girl through a chatroom who was moving & would be passing nearby to my town. We agreed to meet and I met her (and her father, btw), at a hotel to take her to dinner. My God- this woman was well over 6' tall and somewhere around 240lbs. And ugly. But there I was, with her Dad standing there when we met. So I couldn't turn away and get back in my car. I took her to a Mexican restaurant and she really chowed down. I drove her back to her hotel posthaste and the goodbye hug with the backfat rolls are still etched in my mind. I learned to get a lot more information from people I met online from that experience.
Back in the mid 80s when I was still single, I had confided in a friend that I had not gotten laid in a while and even though I wasn't really ready to start a relationship (I had broken up with a long term girlfriend just a few months before then), I really wanted to get laid. A few weeks after that, my friend had a party at his apartment and he introduced me to a girl named Tami. Tami and I spoke for a bit, and we seemed to be getting along fairly well. At some point in the party, Tami and I drifted apart and started to speak with other people. My friend approached me and told me that Tami liked me, and if I asked her, she'd probably take me home with her. HELL YES!! As soon as the opportunity arose, I approached Tami again and we started to talk. I asked her if she wanted to leave the party and she said OK. I asked if we could go to her place and she agreed. We were both pretty drunk by then. We got to her place and the instant we were in the door, our lips were locked. We went into her bedroom and undressed. She was lying on her back and I was eating her out. I told her I wanted to '69' and she said "ok". As I was shifting my body around, either she lifted her head up or I didn't bring my knee up high enough and I ended up hitting her in the eye with my knee. She let out a yelp and when I turned around to look at her, she was covering her eye. I apologized but she was pretty stunned and kept saying, "ooowwww, owwwww". Then she started to quietly cry. I went into her kitchen, got a hand towel, put a bunch of ice into it and went back into the room. She kept the ice-towel on her face and didn't say a thing. Realizing that this evening was probably at it's end, I apologized once more, got dressed and left. My friend later told me that I had given Tami a black eye. I asked him if he thought she'd speak with me if I tried to call her and he told me "probably not", so I did't bother to call. Oh well...
A video shoot that didn't. After meeting with a couple that wanted to make an adult video together, we scheduled an afternoon for them to play on-camera. She was a dancer and he's a DJ. They had a trendy downtown loft. She took the day off work and had one of her GFs help her with hair and makeup so she'd look her best for my cameras. The GF was just putting on the final touch when I arrived to set up. The GF seemed a little uncomfortable and made a quick exit stage left. They had described to me the range of kink they enjoyed and wanted to include in their video. We started with some stills and solo video of her and he could hardly contain himself with anticipation. She knew how to tease for the camera and was very comfortable getting out of her outfit. The afternoon was off to a great start and the solo footage was hot. We took a quick break before transitioning to their big scene together, and then we started. The on-camera interview went well as they described their intimate moments together, painting pictures with words of their most enjoyable sexual experiences. The talk-time transitioned smoothly into foreplay and some mutual oral play. Everything seemed to be going great, but IT never moved. She tried, he tried, I waited.....nothing. I kept filming hoping IT would show some life. Nothing. I paused and stepped back. He explained he never had this problem. I suggested we stop filming and take a break. I turned off the lights, and retreated into the background to give them some alone time. Nothing. I mean nothing. Not just-a-little-rise, nothing. I even left the apartment and took a little walk and returned in 10 minutes. Nothing. It never showed the slightest hint that it was going to spring to life and point the way to the promised bliss. 2 hours went by with nothing.....no movement at all. We're talking dead! I suggested maybe we reschedule for another day. She expressed her disappointment in giving up a day of pay at the club. He suggested I pay them today for a promised play-for-the-camera day later. I explained I couldn't pay them for a video they hadn't yet made. She reminded him she had taken a day off work to make a video and now they weren't going to get paid for the video. He said I couldn't leave with the stills and solo video if I didn't pay them. Things were starting to get heated. In the end, I paid them some cash so I could leave without things turning ugly. I spent an afternoon working for no pay. I got some solo stills and video I can't sell because even though they signed the model release, they didn't sign to say they got paid. No consideration, no contract. I was out part of what I had agreed to pay them for a video together, but lived to shoot another day. Sometimes 'sexual misadventures' are sexual adventures that never happen because while they were both willing, IT just wasn't going to do its part. Edited by - Rod on 3/5/2011 8:58:17 PM
On my birthday about 4 years ago a friend of mine took me out to a bar and paid for all my drinks. I got pretty hammered. Actually I think everyone was pretty hammered. Anyway, we somehow picked up 2 black chicks. I say somehow because they just kind of ended up in the car with us when the bar closed. My friend probably invited them and he had a really flashy car. I don't really remember. So we all go back to my house, and I had beer in the fridge so the drinking continued. Oh, my friend's uncle also somehow ended up there. Kind of weird. I figured my friend and I would each hookup with one of the girls. Then maybe trade after that. These chicks were ready for action. There is a period of time I don't really remember. All I know is I ended up in bed with both girls, feeling on some big titties and ass. Then they both started sucking my dick together. "This is awesome" I thought. One of them looks up and says "You have a condom, right?" I did, but it was in the other room, so I went to get it. I took me about 2 or 3 minutes to find my condoms. And when I came back to the bedroom they were both gone! I looked all round the house and finally found them on the back porch. One was puking and the other one was holding her hair back for her. My friend and his uncle were just sitting at the kitchen table drinking, and didn't seem to be having fun. Plus I couldn't even see straight anymore. So we got the girls out of there and passed out.
Here's another one that tore me up. I was home from college on my first break. I was still seeing my highschool girlfriend and we'd been doing the long distance thing. So, this was the first time back in a few months and we had some catching up to do, so to speak. First night home our respective homes were occupied with family, so after dinner and a little sangria we decided to find a quiet place to park the car. We went to the backside of the USF campus which back then might as well have been the Florida wilderness with a couple roads cut through it here and there. We neck in the front seat and soon do the backseat transfer and basically rip each others clothes off. We're getting hot and heavy, even steaming the windows in the Florida Fall weather, when we see headlights pull in behind my car. In the woods. Not good, having heard all the stories about the perils that befall car-fornicating teenagers. It was almost a relief when the blue lights came on. I was dressed first, or at least had pants on and the chick was still scrambling for her clothing so I stepped out of the car. It was a bull-dike woman cop and she was madder at me than if we'd been smoking crack. She grilled me and when the girl got out she called her back to the squad car. I didn't know what the hell was going on but basically she grilled her and asked her things like "are you sure you want to be here young lady?". I guess verifying a rape wasn't in progress. Not so bad really. She told us to get the hell out of there and find someplace else so we skidaddled. Worst, and I mean worst case of blue balls I have ever had because, being a young woman, the girlfriend was too upset to find a new spot to park. Another memorable event was having sex in the back row of a Dairy Queen parking lot in broad daylight. We'd just gotten back in the car and a torrential Florida thunderstorm broke out. Lightning, thunder and you couldn't see past the hood ornament for the rain. So, we did what any teenage couple would do in those circumstances, and hit the backseat. Damn that was great sex hoping the rain wouldn't stop. Luckily, the downpour outlasted myself and the girl, and we were able to restore order when the storm broke.
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realtip Deactivated User
2301 Posts 6/04
Posted - Mar 8 2011 : 8:00PM
^Maybe the cop was just angry because she wasn't getting any.
That's the vibe I got. And thanks, Rob, for the compliment. There was another time, when I took the girl home from a date and her parents were already asleep. I have no proof and want no proof, but I think her old man was a horn-dog and took his wife to bed every night of their lives, and they went down early. Anyway, we are out in their enclosed attached garage converted to playroom and I have my head buried ears deep in this beautiful young woman's crotch as she reclines on a couch when her older brother somehow slips into the house and opens the door into the room. There was absolutely no way to fake or cover up that one, as her ankles were sky-high in the air. As I recall, he said "Be glad I'm not Dad and stop being stupid". Had that been her Dad, I would have been dead unless I could run faster than he could go grab a gun. That night wasn't so bad for me because I'd already had a blowjob.
I have at least two more bonafide where it all went wrong stories, and a few where it went right in spite of setbacks. I'll post them later if this thread stays alive.
Yeah, keep 'em coming! So far you've had: - Date with the online cow. - Caught parking by cop. - Caught by her brother. The sex in a car during a thunderstorm sounds fantastic. Any backseat doggie style action? Lightning and thunder during sex. Just the best.
How about caught by your minister? I shot a scene with a BF/GF and the girl describes being caught in HS with a former BF by the BFs father that just happened to also be the minister of their church. Not only was she under age doing a PK, but then to be caught by the PKs dad. I don't remember the details and I think most of that interview was cut by the publisher's editor, so I'd have to go dig out the raw footage, but the look of sheer embarrassment on her face when she describes that fateful moment is priceless!
I think I've posted something about this elsewhere on this site, but here it goes again. I was 20 and dating (banging) a girl who was engaged. One Friday night she called because she was going to have beers with a friend who lived near my fraternity house. She wanted to know if I wanted to join them. I said that was fine as long as they didn't mind that I had already had a few. She picked me up and we had some drinks. I made some cracks about threesome this and threesome that.... Next thing I'm sitting between the two of them on my couch in the fraternity house. They're both topless. We're alternating, one sucking my dick while I make out with the other. Suddenly the girl I'm dating (banging) stops sucking my cock and begins to cry. "Stupid feelings!" I thought. That was the end of that. At the time I felt like a total stud. In retrospect, I'm pretty sure the "other girl" had a crush on the girl I was dating (banging). I think the girl I was dating (banging) was really just gobbling up the attention/ego boost of having the two of us lusting after her. In any case it makes a pretty cool story to share with my friends IRL. My wife hates it though, hahaha!
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Clam Digger Deactivated User
Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05
I actually got caught naked with a pair of pliers in one hand and my cock in the other by my sister once. It wasn't what it looked like but how could I possibly explain that I was just moving the pliers and what I'd actually been doing was plain old masturbation? Actually, I have no idea what it looked like but you should have seen her face. I bet that one gave her some nightmares. I'll never understand why people don't knock before they just grab the doorknob and barge in.
^ that reminds me of my childhood neighbor discovering her older brother spanking the monkey in their only bathroom. They had added on a sun room across the back of their house and the bathroom window opened into this added room. A floor plan mistake bound to create learning opportunities.
Well, I started a relationship with this girl I was dating/banging after she ended things with her fiancee. The happy ending is that the relationship ended before we got married ourselves.
I'm not sure what the correct amount of time is to help someone have a good orgasm. Maybe that needs to be a new post in the poll forum (probably already been discussed in the recent past), but I always figured the orgasm is her responsibility. I need to learn what helps it happen, but it's her orgasm. I can't make it happen, but I can be nice about it if it's just not happening. Sounds like he did his part initially, but failed in the second part.
Wow, I totally disagree with that. If I don't make a girl cum (at least one good one)-I feel like a failure. "help them"??? Then why even be physically involved? Why not just stand at the side and give her words of encouragement while she rubs her own pussy lol "you can do it honey, ya, rub the clit, too bad you can't lick your own ass... but keep rubbing!" Or better yet, buy her some videos to "help her".... No sir, our job as men is to learn that woman and her pussy and how to take complete control of it and drag her through an ocean of orgasm waves.... You're supposed to make it such that she no longer has a choice-she's VOID of any control-she's NOT supposed to drive the orgasm ship, YOU ARE. Our job is to fuck them so good that they finally beg us to stop because they just can't take any more... Edited by - seedfeeder on 4/4/2011 4:53:09 AM
Years and years ago me and a male friend were in town and after leaving a club we ended up in the Red Light area of town,we were both hammered and bravado had taken over.To cut a long story short we were approached by 2 ladies of the night with the immortal words being exchanged "Are you looking for business" eh that was from them not us lol,we ended up jumping in a taxi with these 2 girls and heading to a flat..then the sober head came on and the interior light of the taxi and it suddenly became a bit clearer,it looked like we had pulled John Merrick and his twin brother.We looked at each other and a nod was enough "Stop the taxi,anywhere here will do thanks" and we legged it with the "girls" not to happy.I dread to think what really would have happened if we went back to there flat,maybe a drug crazed boyfriend waiting to rob us.
They also call it a "Hand Job" and a "Blow Job"... part of sex IS a "job"... is it not? I do see an obligation in sex-I also have expectations, that is-she has a "job" to please me too. Now just because something is partially a job... doesn't mean enjoyment is lost... cannot one be passionate about a job... and have extra enjoyment at a "job well done"?? Believe me, I truly enjoy pleasing women-it's a huge ego boost when you can give a girl 5 orgasms in 10 minutes lol. I enjoy trying to keep it interesting with new toys-I really like the vibrating cock rings... there are a lot of them out there and it also aids with keeping erection and slowing down my orgasm etc. Either way-don't go crazy on the word "Job" here, all I meant was that I am very aware and pay close attention to HER orgasm/s and CARE that she has a great time. That's simply being an "unselfish lover" and if it requires focus and consideration and you wish to call that a "job" in the sense that you imply, I cannot argue. I would never be a gigolo, as that seems sleazy to me... but I would definitely be a porn star as that seems fun and you are given a "job" and have to perform it-sounds challenging, which is what can create a mental reward eh? I envy those guys-they get paid to fuck well, imagine that! The boiled down point here is that the post I was replying to indicated that the female orgasm was up to the female and I call bullshit all over that-we have a serious duty to do our best to perform or I would consider us "lousy lovers". I would indicate women have that same duty. They should try to learn to deep throat-they should do kegels to improve vaginal muscles and so forth, they should definitely learn to LOVE cum and be passionate about sex the same way I describe. There is nothing fun about humdrum sex -I want to be dazzled and surprised and I want it to stay interesting. I imagine she wants the same-so why not try to give what I wish to receive right?
Lol, thanks Blossom-see boys, this IS what they want. It might take more than one night Blossom, I didn't say that learning process was fast. Plus-women's sexual needs definitely change with their mood... sometimes they wanna be taken in a rape style fashion and completely dominated, biting and minor choking usually a plus lol. Other times they want it sensual. So it's hard to figure out a woman quickly and figure out what her noises mean and which mood she's in... and how she wants it. And then on top of that you still have to figure out those things-How does one give her this or that the way she wants it. It's a learning process-but as long as that effort (to learn and react to her body language and other communication) is there-I find they seem to have a very good time. And back to the original issue-the only "help" I see involved here is that women want us to "help" them explore their own sexuality as it is a deep thing that may have no limits eh? I think men are a bit simpler lol. But we're STILL supposed to run the show, it would be more like we are holding their hand but LEADING them to this place or that place to experience something new and/or exciting eh? So that's more like a "guide" than a "helper".
K, I have a story-hadn't thought about this in a long time. So I had this girlfriend and we were going to a friend's house. She was driving and when we parked, she started giving me a blowjob. We'd been doing a lot of speed. So she's giving me this killer blowjob and carrying on talking dirty. I notice that I need to pee, but I'm holding it as the blowjob is blowing my mind. Now normally-this wouldn't be a problem-but on speed, the penis is a strange creature. So as she's getting me close to cumming-the more I feel like cumming, the more I feel like I gotta pee-but I've held it dozens of times, so I was sure it would be okay. So suddenly I start cumming in her mouth... but it keeps going, after a few seconds she realizes something ain't right and pulls it out of her mouth - to get drenched. However-it wasn't pee, and it wasn't cum-I have no fucking idea what it was... prostate juice??? I don't know. The funny thing is... the last thing she said before I shot whatever it was, was "Fill my mouth with your cum" lol. I did, and then some. So we go into the party and she's pretty soaked... She said she accidentally got hit with a sprinkler which isn't that far from the truth. EDIT: and I forgot to mention-I still had to pee which I finally did-but that also confirms it wasn't pee. The worst part is, I never really came. Edited by - seedfeeder on 4/7/2011 11:47:45 PM
^ prostate juice is cum. Your balls produce the sperm, but the volume of sperm is insignificant. Essentially all your cum comes from the prostate. That's what the prostate does - it produces cum to carry the sperm. Ejaculation and orgasm are different events. While they usually occur at the same time, they can occur independently. If the volume of what she caught was different than normal, the difference was urine. You still had to pee because you just leaked a little pee into your cum. Not enough to empty your bladder, but enough to change the volume of your ejaculate. You ejaculated, but you didn't have an orgasm.....too bad.
I am no wooried about my personal life and enjoy more sex with my partner. Because I getting internet help, and found lots of sex ideas, tips from there.
Okay, here goes. This one is with my ex. So with my ex, we had been together just under 5 months and I had been begging her to let me cum in her mouth. She didn't like blowjobs you see. Since she was going back home soon (overseas exchange student), she blew me a few more times than usual before she left(but cum in the mouth was still strictly a no go zone and same with swallowing). Something about "she wasn't brought up that way", damn catholic school brainwashing! Well, I decided to not tell her when she was going down on me. As she was going down, I felt like cumming normally I would tell her (she used to say "tell me when you are about to cum"). So I let myself cum in her mouth. God it felt incredible, but boy was she pissed. She said, you happy now. I said yes, then she ran into the bathroom and proceeded to spit it out furiously. She was mad for about a day. Fast forward two weeks later, she was going down on me again. I guess she knew I wouldn't tell her when I was cumming. This time when she tried to pull away, I held her head slightly down. It was great, just great I tell you. I had a huge smile on my mouth. To top it all off, the cum had gone into her mouth and also sprayed across her cheeks. It looked so hot. But yeah, she was mad as hell. Unfortunately that was the last time she blew me and fucked me. Damn long distance. Good last night though. As a bonus, I had wanted a sex tape, for many months it was a strict no and then on this night, she said film, I want to see what you see. So I got out a nice little souvenir before she left. Unfortunately no oral on tape :( I miss that one. But yeah in summary, I shouldn't of cummed in her mouth. A bit of an ass I was back then. I just wish before she left I could have convinced her to swallow and do anal. Oh well. I'm sure the new guy she is which is probably banging her as hard as he can. TLDR: Cumming in girls mouth, makes a girl very angry if you don't tell her beforehand.
^^^^(however many is relevant) --- not to defend the guy, but I'm curious how many women would complain if the guy was going down on her, and quit just before she her orgasm.
The girl who's willing to give a blow job but doesn't want him to cum in her mouth. I'm curious what she'd say if the roles were reversed. As I said, I'm not defending what he did.
Hm. I don't know if that's really comparable unless the female is going to deposit a fluid into the man's mouth. In which case, if he had expressly stated that he didn't want to do that and she did it anyway, yes that would be really fucked up. Even if she doesn't deposit a fluid, and he said "I don't want you to orgasm while my mouth is on your pussy," and she did it anyway with full intention, that would be messed up.
^ I agree that the promise/permission part was wrong. If you say you will or won't do something, you should honor it. That's why I said I didn't condone it. I know that in most cases, men's and women's orgasms are different in that you don't end up with a mouthful of ejaculate. But they are analagous in a very important way: there's a buildup to a critical point and then a release. Saying, "okay but you can't cum in my mouth" means "I'm going to stop right when you're at the brink." So I'm saying--what happens when the roles are reversed? You're a guy and you tell the girl, "I'll do it but you have to tell me when you're about to cum because I'm going to stop, and you can either finish off without stimulation or you can jump in and finish yourself with your hands." I'm guessing there would be some broken promises about it, and probably not a lot of guilt.
Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00
Posted - Aug 6 2016 : 2:32PM
That's a way to see it, another way is to be a gentleman and pull out just in time if she didn't want cum in her mouth. She may then stroke the dick to finish if need be. Also a blowjob with a condom is a good alternative, then you can cum in her mouth without actually cumming in her mouth. Personally I don't have a problem getting a blowjob with a condom on, in my own experience there is only a very small decline in sensation compared to an uncovered blowjob (at one point I even thought there was no difference, but now I can feel the slight change in feel). I'm uncut so I can't speak for everybody, your mileage may vary... I think in some sex education classes they make students put condoms on their fingers to compare what's they are feeling, touching, rubbing, etc... Try it, it's amazing what you can feel, texture, warmth or cold, even wetness. Edited by - joey starr on 8/6/2016 2:38:06 PM
