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All Forums > Sex Talk > Sex Talk Forum Page 19 > Really Weird Situation... > Really Weird Situation... (page 2)
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AuthorPost
SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08
Posted - Nov 15 2011 : 8:46PM
SEE. Another dumb fucking reason for a guy to pull away. Wonders never cease.
trout bum
Deactivated User

"I'm Not Here To Suck My Own Cock!"
2145 Posts
5/10
Posted - Nov 15 2011 : 10:48PM
^^^There's always two sides to every story. Probably ain't going to happen but it would be enlightening to hear this guy's take on why this relationship didn't cut it. All we are getting is SunShower's side of the story. Dude must have his own reasons for moving on.
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Nov 16 2011 : 2:09AM
What would be the point of being fake? How would that help you?
See how it goes, how? What would the ideal result of this human experiment be, from your point of view?
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Nov 16 2011 : 2:18AM
Love is always difficult but not always doomed. Doomed or not, the passionate spirit will love anyway. It's just the way of things.
 
SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08
Posted - Nov 17 2011 : 7:03PM
Well, my thinking was that since I've never been shy about getting busy with the three guys I've been sexual with and have been quite passionate with them, and the relationship seemed to turn sour because of that, I figured I should hold out to see if that makes things better. Two of the guys I was seeing, we had a great time and they seemed really into me, but disappeared not long after we got intimate.
One of my friends lives by "Why Men Love Bitches" and the book advocates holding out for as long as possible. I'm pretty sure that book is full of shit, but given my limited experience this nugget of advice might be applicable to my situation and may yield fruit.
Which gives me an idea for a new topic!
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Nov 17 2011 : 9:08PM
Why try to be a bitch just so that men will love you? Unless you're a bitch by nature (which I tend to doubt), don't wear such an ugly mask for such a poor reason.
P.S. -- My wife is not a bitch, and I love her. When she's in a bitchy mood, it's incredibly annoying. I've never been into bitches or women who love bastards. Fuck all that craziness. Plus, smart, funny, warm-hearted women have more fun over a longer period of time than the bitchy ones do.
If the book is full of shit, the fruit it yields is not going to taste good.
---------
Really, SunShowers, quit being so desperate to have men love you! Sexual adventures aside, all you need is one good one. Take things slower; don't force it. Enjoy life as it unfolds naturally. Be true to yourself. Stay passionate!
SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08
Posted - Nov 17 2011 : 10:03PM
The book differentiates between the typical definition of a "bitch" and what it means when it uses the term. It defines being a bitch as being strong, confident, take charge, courteous, and uncompromising when it comes to standards. That fairly reasonable aspect aside, it's a stupid, fairly sexist book.
Bob, I must object. I feel so misunderstood when I comment on this site. I'm not desperate for men to love me. I have much more going on in my life right now than to be obsessed with that. I just dislike not knowing where I stand when it comes to anything, be it at work, with friends, family, guys, et cetera. It's like, for example, if I was doing great at work, meeting my quota, booking appointments, getting along amicably with coworkers, and all of a sudden I was terminated (let's imagine this is an economically stable world where people aren't "let go" for no reason other than finances). In my mind, I was fulfilling my duties to an outstanding degree and wasn't in danger of termination. Yet I've just been terminated and don't understand why.
I can have an intense manner (in writing) and it doesn't necessarily reflect how I'm really feeling. My intention in creating this topic was to "fish" for possible insight into this situation. As I said, I like knowing where I stand and what I did. The problem is, no one but the guy can provide that and it's old news now, so this was really an exercise in futility.
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Nov 18 2011 : 12:11AM
SunShowers,
A woman who is strong, confident, take charge, courteous, and uncompromising when it comes to standards is admirable. Those qualities have nothing to do with bitchiness, and I think such a characterization disserves women who are like that or strive to be.
I'm sincerely sorry if I hurt your feelings. I understand your frustration at not knowing where you stand. I've felt that too, just not in the context of romance for a long time. I'm lucky, because when I'm really frustrated about something now, I have my wife to talk with, and she's a really perceptive, empathetic, and supportive partner.
Continue to be brave and persistent, and you'll find a keeper who fits well with you.
Passion and intensity are good -- they're winning qualities. I've been posting in this thread in response to those evident aspects of you. I apologize again if I've expressed myself poorly or in an unhelpful way.
Best,
Bob
Steve Smith
Senior Member

2669 Posts
11/11
Posted - Nov 18 2011 : 9:43AM
SunShowers:
It sounds like he had the real problem. Perhaps he was almost looking for a way to move on and this was his out so to speak.
You seem like a good woman. You should move on to the next man and keep being yourself.
You should be honest with a man early in a relationship about whether or not you enjoy being gone down on. Some women do not enjoy it but a lot of men think it is the ultimate for women.
We learned early on that most women look for a man that is willing to go down on them.
Honesty is always the best policy.
SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08
Posted - Nov 18 2011 : 5:05PM
No problems, Bob. I appreciate your insights! Thank you for taking the time to offer advice at all.
barfly
Member

84 Posts
8/09
Posted - Nov 19 2011 : 1:05AM
If I could weigh in: In my own experience I have to say that indeed honesty and openness are #1 when it comes to avoiding just this kind of issue. Some years ago I was in bed with the woman I would marry. I had just climaxed. She was on top of me and hadn't quite made felt it a slur on my manhood [boyhood?]. I told her and she started to cry - she was quite upset. She was 10 years older than me, and in hindsight [20:20, right?] I think that if I was older and wiser I wouldn't have had a problem - simultaneous orgasm isn't a given!
A combination of my bruised pride and her emotions and misplaced guilt let to a bit of discomfort between us. She was a former call-girl with lower-than-average inhibition, I'd say. I wasn't yet equipped to deal with her particular attitude.
Sometimes when I'd go down on her she would feel pressure to perform and she couldn't relax enough to just enjoy herself. Again, as a young man, I couldn't understand this.
However! [Cue a choir of angels] One evening we were quite drunk and started talking all things sex. I put it bluntly that I had something I wanted to share with her - that I loved porn. I expected quite a backlash, but got nothing of the sort. In fact, I got quite the pleasant surprise. She countered with revealing her interest in bondage.
After that, my porn collection grew and we would watch it together while I tied her up. I would then be able to go down on her with a vibrator in her pussy and the whole neighbourhood would be able to hear her moans. And my own interest in bondage - which I didn't know I had - has served me well to this day ;)
SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08
Posted - Nov 20 2011 : 12:32PM
Oh no! I didn't mean to give the impression I'd actually lost my job. I was really just using that as an example to illustrate how I felt in regards to the guy. I'm still employed!
budtugley
Senior Member

One man's trash can be the next man's treasure.
1187 Posts
1/04
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 2:52AM
Everybody is different and what works with one guy will ruin it for another. I'm fond of saying that one man's trash can be the next man's treasure.
Almost every guy loves long hair on women. Almost every guy loves attractive boobs. They don't have to be large, just cute, soft yet firm, and fun things to kiss, lick, nuzzle, bury your face in....
The best advice is to simply be yourself. It doesn't take any effort to be the way you are. Just suppose you like a guy and he mentions that he loves sports, he's happy sitting in front of a TV with a beer, a bag of doritos, some dip, and football games to watch. If you really hate sports and would rather get drilled in a dentists chair, you can pretend to like sports, but eventually the real you will emerge and then where are you. Maybe you smoke weed and he hates it or vice-versa. Maybe he's a slob and you're a neat freak. Maybe he's punctual and you're always late. Maybe you love Mexican food and he hates it. Maybe you love porn and he thinks it's disgusting. You will soon be back in incompatibility land.
I sometimes say, "I am the way that I am and if you don't like me the way I am or the things I do, that's your problem. I won't attempt to change to please you."
There are some things folks can do, I personally love pretty hands and if a lady takes some time to keep her nails looking good and wears nail polish that looks good on her even though she normally doesn't, I appreciate that sort of thing. I might wear some different clothing, I might do things that I'd rather not, say, go with her to a church picnic or something. It does take a willingness to bend a little but changing oneself to please somebody else is a recipe for failure.
Be yourself, no one else is you, a guy will either like you the way you are or he won't. If he doesn't, find a new flower to gather pollen from.
John Wooden once said something to me and I've never forgotten it. Make yourself a better person and you make the world a better place.
pire
Member

75 Posts
1/04
Posted - Dec 7 2011 : 10:26AM

To Sex Shop Girl:
Wow! This is the first time ever I hear of a guy not being able to come through oral - unless they're blasé porn performers full of Viagra. Had no idea this existed in real life.

I 'm a guy , i 've heard it more than once ,also some others don't like recieve oral at all !!

 
pire
Member

75 Posts
1/04
Posted - Dec 7 2011 : 11:08AM

"Who knew a guy wouldn't like a girl that orgasms from sucking and fucking him instead of cunnilingus? Lord. I'm like an untouched, buried treasure! "
Maybe , that's the way he thinks for himself , a buried tresure...?? what if he didn't like you to give oral to him at all ??
I mean he likes everything with you , doesn't he ? Do you ?
And yes , many men are like this , they like to explore you and play with you, your mind , your body , make you cum .. it's sex !!
All i want to say is , in my life there were only 3 women that didn't like cunnilingus at first, while others they were just crazy about, most i would say loved it more than intercourse !!
With only one exemption,the other 2 we always ended up having them begging for oral .., i thing it was a cotrol thing , they like to control, is a turn on for them but they were afraid to be "cotroled" and other stereotypical.

"As to eliminating me, that sucks for him. We had a lot in common and I rocked his fucking world, which in turn rocked my fucking world, and it's deplorable that a 30 year old man is so immature he has to cut a girl out over this!"
Anyway , the thing is that some men i know, myself included, would never have a sexual relationship with a woman that at least isn't crazy about receiving oral .. you see , is the way my sexuality works , it makes me want penetration more and more , it's her scent, taste , voice .. grow in you , making you wanting her more ..and more , otherwise is like jerking myself ..
I do respect your thoughts, your likings , i just think your guy over there might be a tresure for many girls , so leave him find them and get the plesure he seeks , and you can always find the one with the limited sexuality (preferences) you need and be both happy.
And yes , i think he's mature enough to know what he likes and can give, also knowing what most of women crave for, and also knows that maybe such a situation wouldn't last long probably..
Just my 2 cents with my bad English :)

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