Hey guys/gals, just wondering. My girlfriend has never been into masturbation of any kind, and wasn't comfortable touching herself until just recently, shes on holidays currently, and after a good session of masturbating...(she hasn't orgasmed from it yet) she said she thinks she would like a toy to try...
Just want to know, what would be a good thing to start with for her? Something that would really get her feeling good, withuot freaking her out too much...there seems to be so many options..and we don't have a clue..
The Pocket Rocket, it's a small vibrator, not intimidating. This is a very popular vibrator, used by pornstars, housewives, women in any stage of their sexual awakening. Have fun.
You might try a hybrid technique: her doing herself while you're giving her some extra stimulation--kissing her and caressing her in other parts of her body. That might help her get over the hump initially.
Lindi, i think her current line of thought is that she can't get herself to orgasm, hence wanting to give a toy a try...though she hasn't tried many times. Maybe she needs to stick with it for a while? Is it normal that girls may not be able to acheive orgasm from their hands only??
A pocket rocket..is their a specific one? or is that the brand name?
jayo - for sure this is something i would like to experience with her, but she wont be back in my country for another month, and this i guess was a good oppurtunity for her to find it all for herself.. but that is a great suggestion for when she gets back.
And thank u Krista K, do u yourself have a pocket rocket??
And a question to everyone here, was it a huge leap of courage to try a toy for the first time? and was it one that took a while to become comfortable with?
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married_lucky Deactivated User
202 Posts 11/06
Posted - Jan 14 2007 : 1:59AM
A dishwasher.... gets her in the mood everytime I use it.
It is within the normal range of experience, and not at all unusual to need a little time and experience to learn how. Has she had any orgasms at all?
There's a book called Sex for One by Betty Dodson, that she might find helpful.
Women who have masturbated are more likely to know what type of stimulation they like, and just generally have an easier time having orgasms during sex.
It's good that she has a month away, because it would be nice for her to explore this alone, without feeling pressured to have results. Anxiety, uncertainty, and pressure are no more positive for a woman than they are for a man. More important is to not look at it in any way as a task or job, but to just relax and view it as play and exploration. If she is feeling relaxed and having fun, she's on the right track. If she is feeling frustrated or thinking that she is running out of time, not so much.
Also, masturbation for her may not look like what you see in porn. That's based on what looks good on film. Some women prefer laying on their stomachs with their hands cupped under them. A lot of women like laying in the tub and running a stream of water down onto the clit. The way to find what works best is not to try the same thing over and over, but to experiment and try a bunch of things.
Sites like this one have little bits of helpful information, but I also think that a book is worth the price even if you only mine one great tidbit from it.
This is gonna sound really harsh but you might want to try a new girlfriend. If she's so uncomfortable with sex that she's not bothered to masturbate in the past, something ain't right.
Sorry. That's terrible, I know. But it's what comes to mind.
Yes lindi what u say there sounds really wise, i don't want to pressure her at all to masturbate, it's something she has to do off her own bat for sure.
I have sent her little articles on the net, including the one you linked there Lindi, see how it all goes.
She is so busy though that she said lately sex, masturbation etc hasn't even come into her head at all... i don't know if she has a low sex drive etc, or just that when your that busy it really just doesnt come into mind...or body hahaha.
RandomPrecision : she isn't uncomfortable with sex, and increasingly over the time we have been together i feel she has been more comfortable, which i guess is normal. We have experimented with different things together...
Is it possible that a girl may just not be interested in masturbation, yet still be enthusiastic for sex etc..? Even a few ex girldfriends didn't masturbate, but were quite willing to share sexual experience with me..
I guess i am keen for her to masturbate, cos she will learn more about her body, likes dislikes etc.. and when it comes to sharing stuff together, she will enjoy it more?!
We can't run away from these problems. When my wife and I first started having sex, she was exactly the same way. She did not really masturbate and was very uncomfortable about sex. After 17 years of marriage, our sex life is *red hot*. We make love 3-5 times a week, watch porn together a couple of times a month, and started into anal sex a couple of years back. To introduce a topic from another thread, she loves to make me gape (and no it doesn't hurt if you do it right).
At the end of the day, I am committed to her no matter what and I think that's what helped us get to where we are.
Oh Yeah. Sex toys are a big part of our sex life. She mostly prefers my cock, but does enjoy her Hitachi magic wand occasionally. I love lots of anal toys - we have strap-ons and silicone dildoes which is usually what we use on me. Oh and I forgot butt plugs as well. Those are key. We wear them out and about sometimes.
I think i will look into the pocket rocket as it seems like most people recommend it, shes back from overseas so it mite be fun to try together...but i feel like it's probly something that she needs to by herself (go and buy the actual vibrator). I don't want to seem pushy etc by encouraging her to get one...or others have any advice on that front/?? Cos my current thought is that if she is prepared to get it herself, it shows a level of comfort etc with it all....
Have people had much experience with using a vibrator at the same time as penetration??
Posted - Jan 13 2007 : 7:23AM
