Personal attacks are not tolerated on ADT -Steph
[This message has been edited by StephDunn (edited January 02, 2000).]
[Link]
| Author | Post |
|---|---|
| Saki At-Large 2087 Posts 11/99 |  Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 4:30PMEvery Man's Fetish: 18 & Barely Legal (1999) Studio: Leisure Time/Empire Directed by: Vamp Starring: Teri Star, De'Lia, Cheyenne, Shay Sweet, Leanni Lei, Katie Gold, Ian Daniels, Dave Hardman, John West, Alex Metro, Chris Cannon, and Chuck Martino Running Time: 2:04, not including the replayed footage at the end DVD Features: 20-picture photo gallery Plot Synopsis: No plot--it's a gonzo video. Pretty unrealistic setups with about a minute or two of small talk before the hardcore starts. I'm paraphrasing here, but this is one of the plots: Sitting by the pool, "What do you want to do?" "I don't know." "Have you ever tried anal sex?" "No." "Do you want to, right now?" "Okay." There go the clothes... General Comments: I could spend all day pointing out the problems with this feature. Aside from the "there's no way in hell that could happen" setups, the dialogue makes the women sound not just naive, but decidely underage. Same thing with the pigtails, braids, and shaved pussies--it makes them look downright illegal. It doesn't matter that they make a point to say that they're over 18--the overall effect goes too far, IMHO. Speaking about over 18, the case cover screams "WARNING: ALL ACTRESSES ARE BARELY OVER THE AGE OF 18 YEARS OLD" and "18 & Barely Legal." Bzzzzt! Thanks for playing! Most of them say in the video that they are 19! And they would look and sound like they were 19 if they didn't have those stupid pre-pubescent costumes, hairstyles, and script lines. And don't even get me started on the editing and effects that are used! They change from color to black & white and use slow motion, freezes, and trick camera angles (shooting through furniture openings or off the reflections in sunglasses, etc.) to an excess. But the worst effect is the widespread use of video looping (taking a clip and replaying over and over--example: "How old are you?" "I'm nineteen...nineteen...nineteen...nineteen." Argh! One last general note: There are a couple of moments in the film you are either going to love or going to hate. There's a climax where the guy immediately bends down and gives the girl a kiss after he shoots all over her face. There's a brief lactation scene as well as some sock/foot worship. That's in addition to the whole young girl fetish thing that this video is about. Notable Performances: Sadly, the actual sex is pretty decent and would be the stuff of a good DVD if it wasn't for all of the crap-filled baggage it brings with it. It's a waste of talent when you consider that Katie Gold and Leanni Lei are the least pretty of the girls! On the male side, with the exception of muscle-bound John West, the guys are pretty average though. Sexwise, I liked something in just about every scene except for the last one with Katie and Leanni. The first scene features all-natural Teri Star and if you like coupling between two completely shaved people, it's nice eyecandy. De'Lia stars in the poolside plot wonder I talked about above, and is notable for the use of big anal beads. The downside is that the climax of the scene is pretty weak. One of my favorite cuties, Cheyenne, is next, and although she gives great head to both guys, the fucking did absolutely nothing to me because of the condoms. Now, I've got nothing against condoms in porn, except when they distract me from the action. In this case, it's pretty unerotic to see a standard white unlubricated condom-covered cock plunging in and out of a dry pussy--it's like seeing a dildo go into an artificial vagina toy. Finally, Shay Sweet lives up to her name and performs well despite the over-the-top schoolgirl costume and piano teacher-student setup they use. DVD Notes: The video quality ranges from nice & clear to slightly below average--it's pretty much a VHS to DVD transfer. The photo gallery is quite good with some really nice hardcore magazine-quality images. But there are definite drawbacks to this disc: It's really irritating that you can't skip the compliance statements when you first put the disc in. I can understand why we can't skip past the copyright notices, but why force us to watch who's the custodian of records and so forth? Also, there are ads for phone sex and an adult website, as well as the boilerplate safe sex / "this is a fictional representation of sex" introduction that Leisure Time uses in all of its products. Serves me right--I was just thinking to myself how nice it was to get rid of all of the crappy advertising that is now commonplace on adult VHS tapes--I jinxed it! Acting like this junk is special by making them selectable from the main menu is worth some major bad karma points from me. Bottom Line: This one's a rental, not a keeper. I really wanted to like this DVD--based on the performers and the cover art, I thought I would. But this disc really went too far in the whole "barely legal" aspect. Also, the keep case cover has more production value than the entire DVD. It's a pity, since the talent and the sex were above average. Just another reminder why I generally avoid anything from Leisure Time... Overall Rating: 2/5 Performers' Looks: 4/5 Extras: 1/5 A/V Quality: 2/5 Plot/Acting: 0/5 Category: Gonzo Saki ------------------ [url=455144]My Adult DVD List [This message has been edited by Saki (edited January 02, 2000).] [Link] |
| AdultDVDGuru Member Pornville, IL, USA 94 Posts 12/99 |  Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 6:15PMPersonal attacks are not tolerated on ADT -Steph [This message has been edited by StephDunn (edited January 02, 2000).] [Link] |
| Busta Hymen Member Simi Valley 49 Posts 12/99 |  Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 6:45PM[Link] |
| Janitor Retired Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99 | Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 6:47PM If you have an opinion on a movie please let us know. You can [url=466391]rate it through our review system</A or post it here in the forum. But please do not attack a reviewer for his opinion. We're lucky to have a great writer like Saki reviewing movies for us. Thank you, Saki, for your very helpful conributions to ADT. There are definitely many opposing camps when it comes to porn. I would love to see all represented. [Link] |
| Saki At-Large 2087 Posts 11/99 |  Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 7:29PM As I was told by my advisor when I was taking journalism classes, the goal of every writer is to either be loved, hated, or both. That's 'cause your fans will always read your columns and your enemies will too so that they will have ample evidence that you're Satan's spawn. The worst reaction that a writer can get is indifference -- that's the kiss of death. Anyway, no big deal. I actually thought I was pretty balanced. Like I said, I liked the sex but not the setups, editing, or packaging of the movie. I wouldn't be upset if I rented it, but I think I'd be looking for a quick trade if I bought it (anyone want a slightly reviewed copy of EMF?). I'm pretty sure there are some people who will be really turned off by the sex, especially the semi-snowball ending of the second scene. In fact, there's a much [url=468224]harsher review</A of this film than I gave it. Personally, I don't agree with it--it isn't nearly that bad. That's why I wrote my own review. You'll have much more target practice--I've got about 15 more discs in queue to review. Saki ------------------ [url=455144]My Adult DVD List</A [This message has been edited by Saki (edited January 02, 2000).] [Link] |
| alanbenson Member Lompoc, CA USA 156 Posts 11/99 | Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 9:24PM Does it make sense to blame a video explicitly entitled 18 & Barely Legal for making their models seem too young? Isn't that clearly the point? Wouldn't 9 out of 10 guys picking up this title want the girls to seem as young as possible? I sure understand your comments about annoying camera gimmicks and the dreaded "ugly white condom". As for lame setups and dialog--aren't those common even in some porn films that you love? (It would be fascinating to discuss what makes lousy dialog and acting forgivable in some films and not others. I don't know myself...) Other than finding the movie's tone too "young", you mostly mention that the talent is great and the sex is, too... From the angry reply and hasty counter-review, this is clearly a title that some folks really love. It's almost enough to make me want to rent the damn thing and decide for myself! Almost. Alas, I'm just too damn queer to tolerate much het porn... In any case, I love your reviews, and look forward to the next batch! Hang in there, and thanks! [Link] |
| Saki At-Large 2087 Posts 11/99 | Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 11:31PM First, I didn't dislike the movie to the point that I would tell anyone not to see it. I actually was considering giving the video a 3/5 overall, but I think Leisure Time's inclusion of phone sex ads on the main menu tipped the scale to slightly below average. In some ways, the categories and granularity of the rating system for reviews on ADT are not good at capturing the specific elements of what makes a "good" DVD. Next, yes, I understand that this sort of title will appeal to a certain segment of the porn audience. I love young women as much as the next guy, but this title pushed the wrong buttons for me, just like Max Hardcore's videos do. I prefer the amateur and unscripted 18-year olds from the Professor Mike or Real Sex Magazine series to those that try to force the perception. To me, it just seems so unnatural to see a veteran like Katie Gold act as if she doesn't know that women "shave down there." As far as the "18 & Barely Legal" moniker, I think that's something that Leisure Time added for marketing, since it doesn't exist in the video. It certainly isn't consistent with the statements made during the video. It's a little thing that isn't a big deal by itself, but adds up with the other things to tip the scale slightly in one direction. From a plot and setup angle, I'm not expecting much--it is a porno after all! However, if you're going to attempt some sort of story, lead-in, or dialogue, do it right or don't do it at all ('cause otherwise you're just wasting time that could be spent gettin' it on!) I've seen plenty of gonzos, so it's not going to be a shocker to see ZERO setup and just sex. I think this feature would have been a lot more appealing had they done that instead of going with the ludicrous fantasy angle.In general, if someone likes this title and doesn't share the same expectations that I do, that's great! I've said time and time again that I've seen so much porn that I'm pretty jaded: I have high expectations and it takes a lot to impress me. So maybe my standards are too high for some or maybe my preference for well-made porn is too high-brow, but that's where I'm coming from. I definitely wouldn't think any less of anyone who doesn't share the same tastes (and by a quick glance at the porn market in general, there are quite a few who don't). Saki Edited to fix a couple of grammar errors. ------------------ [url=455144]My Adult DVD List</A [This message has been edited by Saki (edited January 02, 2000).] [Link] |
| Drew Black broken crankshaft 8011 Posts 9/99 | Posted - Jan 2 2000 : 11:41PM We are compiling a list of changes for the reviews database. Any suggestions for improvement would be greatly appreciated. FYI, our reviews will soon be searchable by studio, director, review date and performer name. There are a few other review integration things in the works too. [Link] |
| Use the code below to link to this topic or a specific post. |
| URL of this thread |
| Link to this post with HTML |
| Link to this post with Forum Code |