THE EROSCILLATOR 2
It's FLABBERGASMIC!

*TYPE - Electric Vibrator

*SIZE - 10" including head

*BATTERIES - N/A

*EXTRA FEATURES - 2 dual-sided interchangable heads, optional attachments, no heat build-up, extra-long 12 ft.removable cord (w/universal converter available), 3 speeds, recessed slider switch, whisper quiet, built-in stand up base, waterproof. Full 1 year guarantee, parts & labor

*NOISE FACTOR - SUPER quiet

*PRICE - $100. - $125

*BANG FOR YOUR BUCK - ***** 5 stars

REVIEW
I had heard that these were excellent vibrators, built and marketed especially for those who might not otherwise consider using one: ie: the uptight crowd (and that's a cover quote). I liked the fact that these were touted as being different, in that they "oscillate instead of 'pound' you (what's wrong with being pounded, I wonder? ; ).
Well, according to Dr. Louis Lieberman Ph.D., this action produces "stronger, more intense orgasms, easier, faster, deeper, multiple orgasms, and was overwhelmingly preferred by women". Duh!! I'm getting hot just reading the boxcover - no, wait, there's a picture of Dr. Ruth, I'm OK now. While Dr. Ruth certainly knows a lot about sex, and grinning from ear to ear in this pic, she's as cute as can be, she does little for my libido so let's move on...

I've got to be honest here and state that having an orgasm, or speed in reaching one is not a problem for me (except for oral sex, but that's a whole other topic, and I've given up trying to figure that one out!). In fact, without a partner to focus on, I tend to be kind of a "wham, bam, thank you Sam" type. Which is probably good, as I've heard of women getting so attached to their vibrators, that they plan whole evenings around them. So, my toys can call me a selfish bitch, but I still prefer the real thing! But, in the meantime.....
I must say, I'm VERY impressed with this device ( calling it a toy does not do it justice). It is lightweight, but ruggedly built, with a lot of thought put into it's ergonomic design. Developed by the Swiss, noted for their trains coming on time, it stands to reason that this will have you coming like a train, too. Amazingly, no matter how long you have it switched on, the only thing getting hot is you!
This truly is in a class by itself, the Rolls Royce of vibrators.
You can order optional heads, one called "The French Legionnaire's Moustache" (why do I think Dr. Ruth had a hand in the naming of that one? Fond memories of WWII? ) has bristles, and just might be the answer to my inability to cum from oral sex. There's also a soft pad type, and what looks like a rigid set of beads with a curve, all optional. The sliding 3-speed switch is almost invisibly counter-sunk into the rippled shaft, not getting in the way, yet safeguarding against accidental speed-shifts! The step-down converter cord changes 120v from your wall socket to a very safe 14v, and has a notch cutout for it in the base, thus allowing it stand up on your dresser or floor. The booklet says there will soon be an international converter cord available. When it's time for cleaning, the vibrator itself is completely waterproof, and can be washed under running water. I've had nightmares of accidently dropping my old vibe in the sink - and there they'd find me, days later - still twitching, singed, but with a death-grip still on my vibe!
Oh the horrors!
Performance-wise, it delivered what it promised as well! So well that I think it deserves a name. Hmm.. I think I'll call him Vince, after Vince Vaughn. oooouu oooohhhh oh yeaaah, baby, that's it - Hey, you guys name your dicks! Some even name their hand! Back to business, though... You can use the shaft alone for stimulation (outside), and work up to the tip. The changeable heads oscillate at 3600 rpm's, which actually feels rather gentle, and are made for clit, labia and nipple stimulation, with only a light touch needed. As I pressed down harder, the neck would flex, and performance would drop, so to get the full monty, you need only to barely touch it to..ohgod...OHgod! ...KABOOM!!! Wow, time for a cigarette break.... OK, that's ov..KABOOM!!! Gee, that was qu..KABOOM!!!

Dr. Ruth, I see why you're smiling so happily.
And Vince, what are you doing tomorrow night?

Edited by - dumblonde on Dec 15 2000