Selena Silver

[ invalid url ] has a little information given by our selena.

denverdon

[ invalid url ] has a little information given by our selena.

denverdon

[ invalid url ] has a little information given by our selena.

denverdon

this thread has a little information given by our selena.

denverdon

This thread has a fairly lengthy input from Selena.

Edited by - DenverDon on 2/1/2005 3:31:39 PM

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I actually do consider myself monogamous actually. I am married - to one person. I share my life completely with one person. I am deeply intimate with one person. I plan on spending my entire life - forever - with one person.

I know that many people think that to be monogamous you can never have a sexual partner other than your spouse for as long as you live. That isn't the perspective of myself or my husband. To us, it isn't having sex with more than one person that makes you non monogamous; it is having sex with someone else outside of the rules of your relationship that would break the vow of monogamy.

Sex can be just fun; sex can be sport. Imagine if you were only allowed to play basketball with your spouse?

I have sex on camera - that is my work. I have sex at home - that is my personal life. I also have sex with my husband with other people - that is my swinging life.

We separate the idea of sex from the intimacy of monogamy.

You can't ask me out on a date and have me agree to go. You can't get me to fuck you behind my husband's back. That won't ever happen - I am committed to my relationship and the rules of my relationship that keep the special intimacy just between us that a couple need to survive.

But, sex itself is just sex. And, sex is fun. And, sex is good. :)

It is okay for me to get off when I am being fucked on film or at the swing club, just like it is okay for my husband to get off when he is fucking another girl. Pleasure is a good thing. Wanting your partner to be pleased and fufilled and happy is a good thing.

To me monogamy is just always having that sex inside the rules of your relationship.

With 50% of marriages in America ending in divorce and with 70% of relationships having at least one partner cheating on the other one - can those statistics really be real? - something is wrong. Maybe society's black and white viewpoint on monogamy, marriage, and relationships isn't working. Maybe it is broken.

My husband and I don't cheat on each other and don't lie to each other. We "team date". We keep all of our sexual urges abundantly fulfilled and keep all of our intimacy with each other alive and fresh and unfettered by all the drama and baggage that many people experience because of lying and cheating.

My suggestion for any couple is to have an honest and open discussion about sexual fantasies. To talk about what is okay in their relationship and what is not. To set up ground rules that right for them. And, then to never, never break them.

For some couples that means that for them it would never be right to fuck another person under any circumstances. For others, it means that foursomes are allowed and nothing else. For others, it might be much more open that that.

It isn't about what is right for everyone in the world and making us all live according to that impossible standard. It is about what is right for you and your relationship.

Why do you ask?

Selena Silver - SelenaSilver.com

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By other definitions, where you only have sex with one person is why I replied probably not.

denverdon <

denverdon <<

denverdon <

denverdon [[[[[[

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Edited by - hypo on 2/5/2005 1:47:16 PM

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