Hoe does that work? Since pornstars have sex all the time is it actually more intimate to not have sex with a pornstar rather than have sex with one in a relationship. I'm curious to know. How can a pornstar tell between a guy who is sincere and a guy who just wants to have sex?
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nietzsche Deactivated User
5470 Posts 8/03
Posted - Apr 1 2004 : 5:40PM
I guess a guy who just wants sex will ask for sex up front.
How does anyone tell whether someone they date just wants to get in their pants or is sincere about having a more involved relationship? Porn performers are just people. They make mistakes, they get taken, they make good choices, they living happily ever after.
How does sex in a relationship with a porn performer work? Pretty much like sex in any other relationship. Let's say she just got home from work, it was a long day, she's tired, she's sore, and she's heard every lame line any man could ever say. She probably isn't interested in sex with you, no matter how much she loves you. - Congratulations, she's a cashier at the grocery store.
Or a porn performer, or a pet groomer, or a swim instructor, or any other flippin' job.
This isn't rocket science. Pornstars are really, honestly, truly, just regular people with a different job than you. How they feel about their work, which happens to involve putting their body parts in close proximity with other peoples' body parts, isn't the only thing that goes on in their minds. They want huggin', lovin', and walks in the park, or whatever you think anyone wants, too.
As a girl you never really know if the guy just wants to bang you or if he is serious about you. In case I like him and I am up to the whole "walk in the park" kind of thing I save my pussy for a little bit. Usually they lose interest very quickly if they just wanted to have sex.
Normal guys:
- you are attracted by his eyes/smile/walk etc. and not by the way he chokes you or slaps you in the face - you don't know anything about his dick size or his sexual preferences when you first meet him - he doesn't know what you do for living right away and he doesn't know what you look like naked - he asks you for your name and you are going to tell him your legal first name (not any kind of fake porn stage name) - he might like the way you dress, maybe thinks you have a special style - he can't wait to find out what your favourite color is or what kind of music you like to listen to (he's not gonna ask if you enjoy anal sex or if he can spit in you face the minute you meet him) - he finds is totally hot that you kiss his neck when he walks you home after the first date
there is a lot more to discover sexually (sure it means you can maybe also be more disappointed), you are even asking yourself questions like: "What do I do if he is a bad lover"
Well, it happens all the time, "normal" guys do date Porn Stars.
I am reluctant to use the word normal, cause we are all normal,(well, most of us are ) I would be more comfortable using the term: Non-Biz. This is to differentiate between a guy who has NO ties to the Adult Biz, and one who is tied to it.
I think Non-Biz guys date Pornstars all the time. I also think that those relationships don't last that long. There are so many issues of jealousy, money, trust, ect, that come up.
It has been done. Look at Belladonna and what's his name(no clue what it is). It CAN be done. but the results are as blurry as a Florida election and twice as messy.
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nietzsche Deactivated User
5470 Posts 8/03
Posted - Apr 2 2004 : 10:03PM
So, Katja, are you saying that you ARE attracted to guys who choke you and slap you, but just not *normal* guys?
Katja is just a really cool girl ... a really fun German girl like a lot of German girls I have known who have a good sense of fun and a playful spirit and a great smile and are smart, too. I really enjoyed talking to her in Vegas, she was totally honest and quite down to earth. The funny thing is, she's so "not porn." I mean, she is -- she totally is -- but compared to a lot of the other girls at the expo, it was clear that it's something she enjoys but she has so many other aspects to her life. I think she'd be an excellent date. She really has a warm and easy-going personality. A good dancer, too. And I think she is funnier than Jerry Lewis.
Seriously though, People are very often mistaken when we as "Fans" only get to know the public persona of a Star. These gals are so much more that what we see. That's why I love to watch the behind-the-scenes extra's on DVD's. There is nothing like seeing your favorite stars laugh and joke around, or bitch and complain, to give the fan a more accurate vision of their personality.
Skronker, you are luckier than most. You have got to meet some of these gals on a personal level, and that makes all the difference when getting a more complete picture of a Stars' personality.
As skronker says I enjoy what I do and I'm also into the rough way sometimes. But I really prefer to fall in love with a guy just because I saw him standing there looking at me.
nietzsche: the thing I like most about "normal" guys is that you share a higher level of intimacy and there is way more to find out about the other one. If he liked to take me rough I'd love it but with a normal guy it is more exiting because both partners will usually go step by step and talk about what they like or dislike. And it is so much fun to see how he will finally come up with what he really wants...
But don't take me too serious about the whole topic I'm making it little more dramatic than it is *lol*...
porn guy: come on you little slut, suck my dick!!! hm, what was your name again?
"normal" guy: I don't want to ruin the atmosphere by going to fast but may I kiss you now?
Katja! Allow me to compliment you on the way you look. PFAT!!!! I just finished watching you (again) in Anal Trainer #8 and there you were with Manuel. I believe you and him really like each other and that why the action is alway hot between you both. BTY! You were the bom in ATM #1 as well. I would like to see you and my favorite porn star Ashley Long wetting it on. As for a normal guy dating a porn star I would go out with you in an instant. I am sure any man could have a really good time being with you on a date and the "Apre date"...
I've never had a relationship with a popular porn star, but I have been in relationships with ladies who either became porn stars after our break-up, were lesser known porn stars, or became popular as porn stars after our break-up...
I consider myself just an "Average Joe", but I believe why there was mutual attraction between us is two things: 1) time and, 2) respect...
all of the ladies I met, that worked in the adult entertainment industry, were working as dancers in clubs catering in entertainment for gentlemen... naturally, I spent money, but not to purchase them, but to share what I have by buying them drinks, and maybe a rose or two, or a stuffed animal, but what was more important was my consistency in my intentions by showing up on a regular basis just like you would with any other lady you're interested in... I was there almost every night for at least a month before we would end going out for a drink somewhere else on a personal basis... even then, we wouldn't necessarily have sex on that first "date"...
and as our relationship would grow, there was time spent with her child(ren), her friends, other members of her family, introducing her to my family and friends, and generally giving her the respect every lady deserves, even when they're a bitch [LOL]...
these women are ladies with needs and desires just like a lot of other women, just with less inhibitions... we enjoyed each other's company... we had common interests like golf, or photography, or attending operas, or whatever...
I started going to "strip clubs" with the intention of meeting women with similar sexual interests as mine, and felt my odds were better than at a pick-up bar, and in most cases, they are... although, for some ladies working there, their presence is strictly for the money, and they do not particularly like sex, while for others, they are nymphomaniacs... and of course, most are somewhere in between...
the best feature I found of finding a lady that appealed to me, in the gentlemen's clubs, is their honesty, no mind games, and no need to play mind games...
I've approached a few porn stars through their web sites with a common response of coming to the trade show and introducing myself, but scheduling issues has always prevented that, but the gist is, if I were to go there, I'm sure if mutual attraction existed, something could possibly develop...
I saw it the other evening, it's a very humorous movie. I also recognized a few cameos...one is only very brief but since she's one of my more favorite girls, I'm pretty sure Brianna Banks pops up for a moment I was too busy watching Elisha to single out other girls, but I'm sure we could start a contest or something, see how many girls a person can accurately ID in one viewing.
I'd say: +1 for Lenka ... as we know her: friendly and herzerwärmend * sometimes even heart-melting. Unfortunately obviously hard to get in contact with...
*my dictionary doesn't know a translation for this word, heart-warming perhaps...
edited: typo
Edited by - secluded observer on 4/23/2004 6:49:32 PM
First of all, my guess is that most porn women do not date porn fans. Off camera, most of these women are as sexually cautious as non porn women. Trust me if you want a chance to date a porn star, you better not act like a stud on a porn video.